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The Oracle
 
SHINE!
 
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - October '99- 03:00 PDT

Yeah, or something. Damn, it's late. Almost 2 am, and I'm just starting. I have to wake up in 4 hours... what was I doing? Thousand Arms? Nahhh.. (first impression was actually not all that good. doh.) Visiting Thor in the basement, and sticking around for some naked anime chick ping-pong olympics? .. (oh dear.. oh.. dear).. no. (btw, Thor says "mmmrhHmMhbBHRmmgMGM" to all of you out there. I'm sure would have had more to say if he hadn't have been eating.)
I should -so- not be able to get away with that last paragraph.

I was just chillin' it at my pad with the homies, compilin' kernels and TAKING PRISONERS. Yeah.. YEAH.. or something.

Anyhow, you all know me to be a linux nut of sorts. I do all my columns in vi, no wysiwyg for this boy-ee, no no! (I think it's the learning curve on those things.. I think like a programmer.. you just don't touch the mouse whilst you program! Blasphemy!) Anyhow, went to a "Linux User's Group" meeting, at a local pizza place. Was having a fairly good time, geeking out, making funny tcpdump jokes.. (well, making tcpdump jokes and hoping for the adjective 'funny' to be added to them by general concensus..okay, you don't care).. and this guy just starts being all hot-shotty. I probably shouldn't have had so much Mt.Dew, 'cause then off I go being kinda hot-shotty too. But at least I didn't claim to write scripts that were obviously not written by me, *cough*, and all I gotta say is, the guy was a total chicken feed filled seed trough! haha made you look .. and well, it just wasn't cool. I was just trying to shut down a show-off, but ended up just not caring. My BAC (blood apathy content) rose to the point where I was just like, "eh"... and once the holy "eh" has entered.. thou shalt not deny it.. and we got up to leave. And he's like, "You're leaving?! Cool!" .. which didn't really bother me, but the fact is that he helps run this group, if he isn't the actual leader in and of himself. And well, if you're going to have the social grace of a pair of fallopian tubes, (i.e. 'fish out of water'), then don't try to lead. You need a charisma that at least is better than a dead monkey. So anyhow, whatever your face guy of the Cal Poly LUG group, now a good five thousand people have just spent a couple minutes reading me rant about you, when all they want to hear about is my next vacation spot... and now they don't like you either. Well, the ones that don't like me might like you.. until they met you. So phbhbhtbhbthbhtbhbthbtbt and no presents for you this Christmas, 'cause you know Santa be checkin' my column to find out who's been naughty, and who's been nice.

Ah yes. The Brad World tour. Today, I stop by Japan and see what's up in Tokyo. I'm not too into big cities, and this place is really big. Oh well.. I think tomorrow I'll go somewhere a little less populated. And just to clear this up, I do -not- photoshop these pictures, nor do I use any other program to edit them in any way, they are whole and complete from when I first get them to when you see them.
Yeah, Heather Photoshops them, I don't play with graphics, they're icky. S'why she has cooties.

Anyhow, enough rant and rave and travel.. it's off to a sushi shop. Have a column, then go have a day.

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The Old stuff
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Brad Now Playing:
Grandia
The hunt for the next game to play has ended..
 
In Brad's Head
 
Right, shopping list.. milk and butter for mom.. Japanese Schoolgirl for Edge..
 
Oh dude, they're 2-for-1 at this store! He's going to be so stoked...
 
...paper or plastic. Now that's evil.
 
Yeah Brad, you suck!
I hate to say this...but you're wrong. Flat-out plain simple wrong. The first console RPG to be released in America was I do believe none other than Phantasy Star, released in 1988. Actually, come to think of it, the NES version of Ultima Exodus was also released in '88...dunno which was first. And Ys for the Sega Master System (was there an NES version?) was released over here in '88 as well. And I'm doubtless forgetting some. How pedantic of me to write this...anyway, DW came out over here in '89, although it Japan it was released in '86, beating the others by a mile. Three years to translate Dragon Warrior?!? And we complained when we had to wait eight months for FFVIII...

I hope this intensely useful lesson in RPG history has been as fascinating as I think it has.

-Captain Moogle

Brad:
Yeah, that's what I meant.. er.. really.. that the japanese version was first. Actually, I was going on my memory, because for some reason, I'm just not well studied on the realease dates. (shrug) Anyway, some of you guys are, however, and that is why I post your useful information, so that the rest of you can see I don't know anything can learn fun things too!

 
You ain't fa--, oh, I used that yesterday.. damn..
Yo, Oracle,

I think that recent JD?s announcement of NFL2000 being a game of the year is not just a lunacy manifestation, but cleverly concealed sabotage action against Dreamcast.

Cause imagine - a guy coming out at RPGamer and stating that ?you guys drop all your RPGames and go buy Dreamcast cause it has NFL 2000 which is better than FF8 and all other RPG?s?. Imagine then your normal RPGamer?s reaction - imagined? Clever one - JD!

Andrill

Brad:
Turns page on calendar.. "Boomerang.. belt.. got it..!" (Weird Al Reference of the Day Calendar!).. oh yeah... well, you obviously don't know JD very well if you think he's trying to sabotauge the DC. He has one, and he loves it. He's a true-blue DC lovin', sega-system buyin' guy. And there's nothing wrong with that.

 
He lives in the hall of the frito king!
All hail our elustrious lord and mentally superior master, Brad!

Anyway, if you want Chili cheese fritos, then you will want to make a stop in Dallas, Texas. We have the largest frito plant in the country. If you want to dive into a pool of fritos go ahead.

Anyway, enjoy your trip and make sure that you got your malaria shot.

The Steve... er... I mean... TheDragon

(Time to clean out my harddrive by deleting this direcory that I don't need: c:/windows.)

Brad:
Dude. Steve loves fritos. I just might be in Dallas around christmastime, actually. As for the maleria shot.. er.. I'll have the Japanese Schoolgirls take care of that.. or something.. "oh nurse!" ... right. You can tell a true *ix junky, when they use /'s instead of \'s for their dos filesystem typing. :) (If you don't understand, unix/linux/just about everything 'cept dos uses / for the between directory delimiter.. as in, /usr/bin/perl .. but in dos it's c:\user\bin\perl.exe .. LERN PERL.)

 
A guy asks me a personal question.
Hey Brad,

I Submitted the current poll! Everyone vote for it! its a darn good poll, too. what do you think, Brad? are music or graphics more important in RPGs?

-Tismondo

(and despite what the poll guy thinks, my name is NOT a magicians name. a cookie to whoever can tell me what it means!)

Brad:
I swing both ways. If the graphics suck, then the game has some suckage. If the music sucks, the game has suckage. But I guess if I had to go with one, I'd much rather play a game with sub-par graphics and average to great music, than the other way around. And btw, if you're giving out my cookies, you're in trouble, Mister.

 
En franais, s'il vous plat!
*** FF8 Spoilers, if you read french or my reply ***
Hello,

You said that you can speak decent french? Well... Si tu es capable de lire a sans utiliser BabelFish, c'est dj un bon dbut :).

Ma question porte sur FF8... Peux-tu me dire si c'est normal que, parfois, je tombe en combat... et qu'un p'tit ovni arrive avec soit une personne, une plante, une vache ou une... pyramide? Est-ce que c'est un signe de prsence extra-terrestre, qui se sont incorpors eux-mmes dans ma copie de FF8 ou est-ce que c'est parce que j'ai tellement jou au jeu que je commence faire des hallucinations sans avoir trop pris de drogue? Ou est-ce que parce que je n'ai pas assez dormi de ces temps-ci?

- Dieu "I can speak french! (cause I'm french)" Tout-Puissant

P.S. : That "suidoken" wave really says "Suikoden, tu aime baiserune cravatte."... Good work on your french class ;P

Brad:
Wow, I'm actually kinda impressed that I -can- understand this without aid... the whole alien ship cow thing has to do with an alien, and if you see him in about four locations, you can either fight him or help him out. You get different items per choice, and well, for more info, I just ask Paws, 'cause she's got the info. She might even send it into me by email so I could post it for next week. ;) ;) Oh, and I rock your world on the sleep dep scale, hallucinations or not ;P

 
Oooh, a toughie
Hello, Brad, A.K.A. The *Oracle*

Okay. I have a question for you. It's RPG-related, but I don't suppose it really applies to much of the rest of the RPGaming universe out there except for me. See, here's the thing... I already have FF3/6 for the SNES, and I could probably get the FF5 ROM. However, I have been toying with the idea of selling my SNES (or giving it away) and my games, including FF3/6. Most of the other games aren't really spectacular anyway, and they're remaking some of them. I was just going to get FFA, but I want to know if it's worth spending what little money i have on a game I already sort-of own. So tell me: Is it worth it, in your own opinion? I would really appreciate it if you at least could give me a response, even if you don't post my letter. Thanks for your help! :)

"Help me, Oracle. You're my only hope."
-Me

Brad:
This is rough. On a limited cash basis (been a while since I worried about that as far as games were concerned...) I'd probably stick with the cart and get a ROM for 5. (shrug). The slowdown has made people who played the FF6 cart kinda pissy, (I have also noticed it), and well, I've actually got my FF6 cart still.. I also saw two of them on sale at a local used sale place, along with one ff2a, (they were ff3a carts as well.. all for SNES).. anyway, to make it short, in your situation, I'd go buy Suikoden 2, or FF8, or something new, and keep the cart..

 
 
Kaboom Quickies

I like the part when the Death Star explodes!
Neo Zeromus

ME TOOO BOOOM! BOOM BO-- er.. Han Solo rocks. Kill Jar-Jar, GIVE US BACK HAN... even an 8 year old Han Solo'd kick the snot outta stupid Jar-Jar.

But DADDDDD!!! If I eat my veggies, I'll get as big as you and my skin will be to tight!!!!

.... I can eat just about any vegetable.. I'm not a big fan of brussell sprouts though. And I love lima beans. I don't know why. I just like 'em.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
- Jessse

I'd go to work tomorrow. :) We have a BBQ for everyone like every other Friday (I guess that's today for you guys).. and we always have Klondike bars at the end. They're yummy.

Words from the Wise One:


Heh.. wow.. 3am, a column (albeit a shortish one) in an hour. Not bad. I'm going to bed now.. I've been a bad boy, being up this late... .. but all for a good cause.

This vending machine doesn't sell coke! :o


Brad "Bad boy! No cookie!" Lohr

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