Factory Merchants of Barstow.. PART ONE
The Oracle, Brad Lohr - January '00- 13:00 PST
Hey whatcha doing, hey whatcha doing hey hey hey I've had too much coffeee! .. alright. Here it is. The weekend in one
big Q&A mess. Sorry about yesterday, there is a reason, if you couldn't/didn't see it, it's there in the archives. Like I said. Sorry. Anyhow, today
I'm back and better than ever (or so I hope).. just not with a lot to say in the intro.
Oh! Yeah. I forgot. This next week is "RPGamer Appreciation Week". People who read this page, and this column, are all wearing shoes this week. But it's
not to be a public display, so people might pretend to not know what you're talking about, should you approach them about their RPGamer reading. But
you'll know, and I know, that those shoe-wearing people are all big RPGamer fans. Don't you forget to wear your shoes this week. No shoes,
no service. Here's the column. It's big. Have fun, and I'll catch you all next weekend.
I love FFTactics Questions..
*** FFT Spoilers of Sorts ***
Hello Brad, I got some questions to ask (Please, please,please answer this!) it's about Final Fantasy Tactics.
- After I get Cloud, I 'm gonna get his Materia Blade, but how? It's on the highest tower, and I got to put Move/Find Item and level 3 jump or
higher. But Both of them are on the same set! What am I'm supposed to do?
- Do ever worried about the limit space of your party?
- How do I get the Chaos Blade?
P.S.Have you ever get stuck on a very addictive game?
I have, on Final Fantasy 8...3rd disc...
Wow, at first, I saw a detailed set of FFT questions, and thought, "oh no, I'm gonna hafta go walkthrough diving.."
but then I realized I know all the answers to this one. :) Even after a long time playing the game. Alright, here we go.
First off, to get up there,
equip a Lancer with Move/Find Item. The Lancer has a little bit of natural jumping ability. Or anyone else that you can find with a jump of 4 or
greater.. (greater? that'd be sick..)
Secondly, I'd say "All the time". Too many people just join up into your party, yet you can only have a
very small amount stick around. I think they should have easily doubled the limit for people in your party. Like Tactics Ogre. :D
Thirdly, the Chaos Blades can be caught (Catch Thrown Items Skill) when Ninjas in the Deep Dungeon toss them at you. It takes a little while to get
the feel for the dungeon and all, but you can do it. For further information, check out Ryan Amos' awesome FFT Guide
(An RPGamer exclusive, I might add :P) here.
And no, I never get addicted to games. Never. Ever.
Hold on while I play some Asheron's Call.. brb.
Asheron's Call vs Everquest
Gahhh! How can you play asherons call. Everquest is far superior. I'll give AC the interface but that's it. The models on that game look like
they were done by a 8 year old. Puting on plate armor just results in a different shade of gray. In everquest you can see your armor better the
models look realistic at least. Even thought you can't change them around as much (plate looks like the plate on the other guy) there are tons of
different sets, and you're not just a different shade of gray! The world is better and there's more people. Plus it's based on AD&D so there's the
classes, it just has better balance than asherons call.
You are quite possibly correct. I see a lot of EQ vs AC sites out there, and always the EQ people are bitching about how bad
AC really is. But that doesn't change the fact that Heather bought AC for me for christmas, and I've never played EQ, soooooooooo, that's why
I play AC over EQ. I'm not about to go out and buy another game that takes as much time outta my life.. not with school starting tomorrow for me. :D
Pirate Radio... of sorts
About liking Suikoden 1 music's better.... I myself played Suikoden 2 before the
first one, and maybe that's the reason I liked those remixes in Suikoden 2.
But anyways, I got a REAL question for you. If you put in your Suikoden 2 CD,
open up the file \CDROM\BGM.XA with one of those XA players for your computer,
you can hear some of the musics. Now, what's strange is that almost NONE of the
musics are played in the game itself! What gives? Are they songs that were in the
original Japanese version but got left out for the USA version? In any case you
have to wonder why so many of those musics are never heard, even though obviously
great effort has been put into them.
That is kinda crazy. I don't have an XA player, (does anyone want to send us all a link to a good one?) but I'd like to check this
out.. how about does anyone have any information on why this happened? Or what these really are to?
Star Ocean 2, yay!
*** Star Ocean 2 g'spoilers ***
What level should I be at when I fight Idalecio with his limitor off?
Almost all his spells do 9999 damage and kill my party instantly. My
party levels currently are 95 lowest (Leon) and 105 highest (Claude).
Well, "Reader", I've never actually taken on "Idalecio" without his "limiter", so I can't say from "experience". But I've heard
that you might want to get yourself closer to 100 levels higher than where you are. But I'd say at least another "50". Try going into the bonus dungeon.
The stuff down there is good for the high level buildin', "Dude".
Hey baby, wanna go see a movie at my place..? Ever seen FF8?
Here's a Q for you. Why is it that Square makes these fantabulous
cinemas for FFVII and FFVIII, yet do not include an option to view all
of them? Is there any way you can view all of the cinemas in both games
without having to replay through them both?
There are utitlities to do this on your computer, as I recall. I'm not sure if Bleem does it.. heck, I haven't heard anything
about Bleem in a while... there I go, having a life again :( .. anyhow, yes, there are ways to do this. Do I use/know of any specific ones? No.
Ask and ye shall receive, I guess..
I remember reading for a request for a utility for getting movies off FF8.
Well, my good friend just got done creating a page just for that, cause too
many people were bothering him about it. So heres the link, have a ball.
Dude, my readers are psycho! .. er, psychic.. or something
.. remember kids, don't mix hair growth drugs with your ritalin ..
Man... I must admit... I have a problem. I just can't... beat any of the
RPGs I play. I'll play them off and on for a long period of time, switching
between games to get rid of the monotony until I get to the final
level/boss/battle/hair stylist, then if it's too hard and I have to start
over again from the last save *multiple* times, I just give up and move on.
Yeah, I know many RPGs have sucky endings where the main characters do some
pointing, talking, then eat rather large bowls of pudding, but I've *got* to
beat them! Blarg, man, blarg! Any way to cure this? I've tried Rogaine
but that just resulted in me look like a big kitty. Now all the kids around
town ask me to "Make Wookie noises". Wah...
~The "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in
I too have had such problems, completing all the games that I buy. Most of the time I have the problem just starting the game.
If I start it up, and I'm not hooked almost instantly, I'll stop playing it and start playing something else. Or then if something really cool comes
along, well, the old one's out, again. Sometimes I buy games and just never start them. I can look at my 'unbeaten' stack of games and it'll
make me cry. Almost.
The first(?) time I've posted two of one person's letters in one column?
Because Googleshng was recently asked a question pertaining to how
"college=not much time for games," I decided to make a handy-dandy
little flowchart of how videogame playing time relates to various epochs
- Elementary School=LOTS of time for playing games
- High School while single=Quite a bit of time for playing games
- High School with boyfriend/girlfriend=Still quite a bit of time for
- playing games
- College while single=Not much time for playing games due to buttloads of work to do
- College with boyfriend/girlfriend=See above. (Even worse)
- Job (and nothing else) while single=Quite a bit of time for playing games (possibly more than in high school)
- Job (and nothing else) with boyfriend/girlfriend=Still quite a bit of time for playing games
- Job, married, with no kids=Definitely not much time for playing games
- Job, married, with kids=Good luck.
You forgot me. :( College, with boyfriend/girlfriend, er, I mean, girlfriend, WITH RPGamer job on weekends, WITH full time job
on weekdays. But I still have some time to play games. Not much.
Secrets of RPGamer
Hail Brother Door Keeper
I don't know if anyone has asked this before, but how
does Rpgamer work exactly? I don't have the faintest
idea. Do you all work in the same building or
something? Please excuse my ignorance of the subject.
Brother Door Keeper:
Yeah. We all work in this little building out in Compton, Mike keeps on telling us to call it "Headquarters".. but we all
refer to it as Chocobo's Mysterious Druglab anyway... alright, seriously. We actually live all over the place, Goog/Alex/miyu/Veronica/Kiah are
all on the east coast, there's a couple of us in Washington State, a few in Texas, a canadian, and then at least four of us are Californians.
The actual computer that houses RPGamer is down in San Diego, I think. We all do our 'meetings' and such over IRC, and ICQ, that kind of thing.
Some of us have even met eachother. ;) I went down and saw George Velez this last week, but other than that, I haven't met anyone else from RPGamer
at this time. In person. When we do the E3 coverage, I'll get to meet many people. If you guys can get to/get yourself into E3 this year, all your
favorite online VideoGame stars will be there. :) Oh, and we'll be there too.
I'm one of the people who likes skittles.
*** Xenogears Plot Spoilers (or at least Brad's Interpretation of Xenogear's Plot, which may or may not spoil it, depending on just how
accurate he is ***
Umm, I gots a question, 'kay?
In Xenogears, where is this omnigear in Shevat that everyone keeps
talking about reacting with Elly? Was it when yoo first go to Shevat,
'cuz I didn't bring Elly with me then, and now I feel like I fell asleep
in physics class.
.. Honestly? I don't remember. Do you even get an Omnigear with Elly before she gets thrown outta the mix? I don't recall that you do.. hrm.
Also, why does the second CD completely suck? The storyline on the first
was amazing! I didn't eat, sleep, or perform other such basic bodilly
functions during it, afraid that I might somehow miss something and
accidently destroy the world. But the second CD is almost straight
narration. It bites.
It sucks because Square hates us. Sorry.
Finally, how can Fei be Lacan, but Lacan is Grahf? I thought for sure
Krelian was Grahf. Oooo.... Head hurts... so many people are other
people who are people who like skittles but really don't. Help me!
Right, the meat 'n taters. The whole Lacan/Fei/Grahf thing is kinda complex. It's kinda like there's this 'person' who passes down in a line
through the generations (this is all just my interpretation of it, btw.) .. not like genetically, as in father/son or anything, just when one person
loses the conciousness of it, it goes to someone else. Lacan had it, and then when everything went downhill, I guess he lost it. And he turned to Grahf. I'm
getting all confused just thinking about the whole Grahf/Wiseman/Fei/Lacan thing now myself.. fuzzy .. brain.. erghghg.. heh. Just kinda think of Lacan/Grahf as
the Anakin Skywalker of Xenogears. Good guy goes bad, bad guy gets cool new powers and kicks more ass, but loses in the end. Oh well. And Krelian is not Grahf.
DC Grandia etc!
Even though you don't plan to own a DC, wouldn't it be great if Game Arts
did a Grandia remake for the it? I mean they'd probably port it over to the
PS2 anyway. We wouldn't have all that slow down either. But for now, Grandia
II sounds really good. I don't recall Game Arts ever making a game with a
serious plot before. Should be interesting.
Although I haven't gotten to play enough Grandia (it's next on the list, honest!), I've heard really good things about it. I'm
fully behind porting all kinds of cool stuff to the DC. The only game platform I'm against for nextgen is the Nintendo one. Not that I'm saying
people who like it are dumb, or that nobody should buy one, I'm just saying I will not be buying one. I kinda say that about the DC too, but I'd
probably buy a DC if I had the time to play all the games for that AND all the other consoles I have.
Save the world? Does that come with a big paycheck?
My Heart Reacheth out to all of the RPG-making companies!
Please, I say-- realize that we don't necessarily WANT an apocolyptic plot!
FF8 was great before it suddenly involved the fate of the universe, Xenogears
was better before you learned about Deus.
Gamers will appreciate a game that doesn't try to over-reach it's sphere of
influence. Had FF8 merely been a story of love in a time of two nations at
war, it would have been infititely better. These companies seem to think
that all games need a Sorceress Ultimecia to make the ending more dramatic.
What about more games like Harvest Moon?? I'm serious, we don't even need
fighting to make the RPG interesting. It's interesting because it's
well-written and well-executed, not because it's about a war over the fate of
I fear for the companies which cling to cliches such as that as crutches,
using the crutch instead of creativity and originality.
This is my cry, may I be heard by all nations, kindreds, tongues and peoples.
===Ninja of Wind===
I've gotta agree. I know Thor has said stuff about it before (maybe not in a public Q&A, but I've heard him say it).. that
he misses the days back when RPGs used to be about going out and getting cool stuff for your guy. Just going out and questing. Most PnP RPGs are a
lot like this. Heck, Asheron's Call is like that. You just go out and have a fun time playing your guy, getting cool stuff for him. No overly 'good'
motives. Not that it isn't fun to kick the crap out of the moon-based personification of HATRED.. but a little variety is fun. For you, Ninja
of Wind, I suggest Baldur's Gate, or one of the MMO RPGs to fill your anti-apocalyptic feelings.
Obsessed with Krelian? This is for you!
*** Xenogears Spoilers of sorts ***
Hi, Brad! :)
You know what's really frustrating? I just beat Xenogears for the fourth
time today (That's right, 4th. I'm a Xenogears fanatic. I love it and know
it like my life), and I beat it without a single game over, except for a
small battle with a Tears in Shevat. I can't believe I made it through
Vierge, Haishao, Opiomorph, both Deuses, only dying in a tears!
Oh, by the way, Krelian's my favorite character in the game, and I've made a
chart of how many times he's in the game. Here it is, my "Krelian
|Sighting # ||Region/place|
| 1 ||Aquvy Islands; Thames|
| 2 ||Gazel|
| 3 ||Gazel|
| 4 ||Solaris; Second Class|
| 5 ||Solaris, Krelian's lab; Research facility|
| 6 ||Solaris, Krelian's lab; Research facility|
| 7 ||Solaris gear hangers|
| 8 ||Gazel|
| 9 ||Gazel|
| 10 ||Krelian's lab|
| 11 ||Krelian's lab|
| 12 ||Gazel|
| 13 ||Cain's throne|
| 14 ||Eldridge; Razael's tree|
| 15 ||Golgada Execution Grounds|
| 16 ||Gazel|
| 17 ||Krelian's lab|
| 18 ||Merkava|
| 19 ||Nissan|
| 20 ||Wave Existence|
.. Don't know if anyone else in the world would be interested in that.. but .. there it is :)
The women be speakin'!
I'm a female RPGamer. It's not all that uncommon. We aren't all crazy
about Sailor Moon and little pansy things like that. However, I do
believe I've found a reason that we aren't as common as male RPGamers.
Guys were the original video game freaks. They loved hack & slash,
challenges to their reflexes, and taking out a few violent feelings on
mindless fighting games. When RPGs became popular, the companies that
made them remembered how action games were so popular with guys. They
decided to aim for mostly guys while making the RPG. That's why Tifa
wears a miniskirt and an astronomically huge bra. That's why Ayla looks
so modern, despite being a prehistoric woman. Since the RPGs were aimed
at guys, they didn't always appeal to girls as much.
This may have been why FF5 was only released in the USA recently.
Square might have thought it wouldn't be very popular, since there
aren't really any sexy women in it. Reina is kind of your typical
damsel in distress, but Krile is just a little girl and Faris...well,
for a while you don't even know that Faris is a woman. This is just my
theory. Feel free to prove me wrong.
There's also the Quest for Glory series. The hero is a man, and he gets
into several romantic situations. In QG5, he can even choose a bride.
It also had your typical hack & slash moments that most girls don't
really find appealing. Although I thoroughly enjoyed this series, it
was mostly aimed for guys.
I think I've made my point.
It's all about target audience, yo. You sell to who buys. Breaking new markets (the female gamer, for example) is just
risky. It takes time, it takes money, it takes effort. They didn't worry about that.. (they're starting to now, because they need FRESH BLOOD).. but
originally, you're exactly right. Their market was guys, and they sold to 'em. There will always be games targeted at guys, that's just an easy way
for these people to make money, but I think we're starting to see a trend of leaning towards games that both genders are going to appreciate without
having to 'put up' with a lot of blatant gender-biasing.
More Women's Views on Gaming Life etc..
*** Spoiler: If you want to figure women out on your own, read no further! (okay, just kidding) ***
I really can't believe I am writing this letter... I think you'll
understand more when you read it, but for some reason I just knew I had
to express myself on this one. I usually just sit back and watch
everybody else duke it out. Not so bloody on my part that way and all.
Anyway, on to the point of my letter:
I read the letter by "Emily" today in the column, about how girl
RPGamers do exist, yada yada... Yah, we exist! But I don't know...
maybe a lot of girls are like me: embarrassed.
Yah yah, it sounds real strange... but in all seriousness. I get the
weirdest looks when somebody founds out that I actually LIKE computers
(especially when I tell them where I work -- an ISP doing web page
stuff, call in tech help, etc.) and RPGs. I hate to go into game
stores... It's almost like I am walking into somebody else's house
unwanted. The clerks behind the counters give me the weirdest looks
when I start eyeing the games, and when I ask for a game, they give me
even a more shocked look. I won't even get started on what the other
customers (mainly guys...) reactions are like...
With reactions like that from people I don't even know, I don't dare
mention my little RPG obsession to my friends, especially my female
ones. I just go on with my life like I have no interest in games at
all. Sure, they probably do suspect it. Considering I've gotten some
of my artwork published in a game magazine before, and with excitement I
had to tell them, just wasn't really expecting the question, "oh
really?! Wow, that's great! What magazine?" Gulp... so I just said,
"oh some silly magazine..." and quickly dropped the question. It wasn't
until one of their boyfriends say my work (recognized my name and city),
and told her was my secret out. I just explained it as being the fact
that those were the only kind of magazines that I could find that
published artwork... A lame excuse and they did not buy it... I could
tell by the looks on their faces when they found out that it was a GAME
magazine that they didn't approve. Being great friends like they are
though, they never held it against me, but that little incident has
lived on in my memories of one of the many reasons of "why I should not
tell anyone (or show any liking whatsoever) that I like games".
By now, I am sure you are thinking, this is all good and stuff (make a
great made for TV movie don'tcha think?), but where's the point?! The
point being is... girl RPGamers seem like they are hard to find, but in
reality, maybe we are all just hiding, like me? I am sure I am not the
only girl gamer in my city, but I have yet to run into another one, then
again, I have yet to even mention to another girl that I like games. So
if the general girl gamer population is like this, then I am sure it
seems like we do not exist.
Now on to your answer about the dating thing:
I couldn't agree more with you about how you have to go out and find
somebody with similar interest. I don't know about other girls, but
with my embarrassment to mention that I like games and computers to a
guy, my dating social life is very lacking. I mean, I sometimes get
asked out and such, but I hardly go cause I have no interest in or
common interest with the guy. The only time I've ever really dated
somebody was when I just happened to slip up to a male friend of mine
about a year ago. He was rambling on about something with somebody else
about HTML, and me knowing good and well he was wrong, couldn't keep my
mouth shut and just had to spit out the correct answer. After I got
done picking him up from the floor from the shock (knew him for a good
two years before this, he never saw it coming), he expressed to me how
hard it was to believe that I knew something about computers. He later
told me that it was at that moment that he really started to have
feelings for me. To make this story short, things didn't work out all
that great, so now I am back to the lack of a dating life. Needless to
say, that just goes to show how right your point is about how you have
to find somebody with similar interest, they won't just come to you.
Then I go back to my original point, I (assuming some girls are like me)
don't have to courage to mention that I like games to a guy, so it's a
catch 22 situation. If I can't tell a guy that I like games, and a guy
is looking for a girl that like games, we just kind of pass each other
Meh, that's quite a bit to take in... Remind me to never write a letter
at 2:30 in the morning again. I hope you can understand my point
One more thing, if you decide to post this, please leave off my name...
Yah, the embarrassment thing... I wouldn't be surprised if some guys I
work with read the column, they do the whole slashdot thing and all, so
it would be rather embarrassing to go into work and hear them say that
they saw my letter.
Thanks for listening!
Who needs an editorials section, huh? There's a great outlook from a girl about stuff. Read it. I've only gotta say a couple things..
Heather is really techy. She does HTML like a wizard, she can program, she understands computers. She knows where you're coming from. She's a dork,
even. (So am I, I'm not harshing her).. but it's not easy being like that and being a woman. People just don't expect that.. you're not filling the
'proper' or expected roles of women. It's not an easy life. But hey, she's got me.. so ain't THAT just incentive to go out and be dorky, eh, girls? </ego>
Wavering attention spans...
Hey Brad. I'm writing this because I'm trying to find some motivation
for finishing old RPGs. Take for instance Ogre Battle. I know it's
a good game and I've played it 6+ hours in a row, but for some reason
I get bored with it and go on to playing something like Megaman after
a couple days. Is this a symptom of a wandering attention span? How
can I overcome this?
Drugs will help. Sedatives. No, honestly.. I don't know. I guess just getting back into the game.. it takes moods for certain
games for me. Sometimes I'm just in an FFT mood (like right now..) or other times, a Suikoden mood. Can't really help you out.. but getting involved
in a game always helps.
I assume this person likes Shen Mue?
I just played Shenmue with my pals for 5 hours straight!!!! I'm still
recovering...I won't be able to resume replaying FF VIII for weeks, plus I've
forgotten how I beat Xenogears twice. Owwwww, my head hurts. The whole
time, my Japanese pal and his pop were commenting on how EXACTLY it was like
Japan...down to the stuff in your closet! Plus, there's evil kung fu, and
who can't worship a game that has......a 100 % perfect conversion of....SPACE
HARRIER in its arcade!!!!! Reduced to gibberish in face of game's
Maou, Shammu fan
Sounds like a good game. :D But how do you really feel?
Okay, you owe me money.
Female RPG fans are actually very common... so all you girlies quit your
whining and take your feminism elsewhere ;p RPGing is not a male dominated
field! I just want to say I LOVE GOOGLESHNG!!!!!!! Sorry Brad, you're great
too but Google is my love. Google: I have your 10 million bucks!! Anytime
you want it!!
-Lord Xyyn Dragon-
The title of this email said, "PLEASE POST THIS I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" just like that. So this person now
owes Brad Lohr, The Oracle... Money. And we all love Googleshng. Often. ;)
Dude's layin' down the baka song smack...
While I really haven't been paying attention to the Q&A recently, the fact that someone pointed Shampoo out as the baka girl made me irk a bit.
I assume that by "the baka girl" you're referring to "the baka song" in which one female Ranma character yells at Ranma and chants "baka" over
and over. The song, which is "Can't be a good kind of girl" is sung by Akane Tendou, NOT Shampoo (Shampoo has a very high pitched cutesy
singing voice - she does NOT sound like the girl in the baka song). And if you don't believe me, I have a copy of it right here.
Anyway, that's my waste of your time. Have fun. Don't spend all your money in one place - just give it to me.
heh.. it's gettin' ugly in here.. time to calm down, kids. :)
I don't believe you!
Just a few observations:
1) Having trouble staying awake? Do what I do. Get about 8 liters of coke, and finish it. It works.
And the nervous twitches and hallucinations go away after a day or so.
Ergh.. that's bad for me :o
2) Everyone loves Paws because she has a voice (doing the pronunciations), which makes her infinitely
more real than all the other RPGirls (in the minds of us desperate guys, anyway)
That's true. Her voice is cool. Just don't get all obsessive or anything, yo.
3) I one of those freaks that gets to the final boss of an RPG at level 35. The record (so far as I
know) goes to a guy I know who passed FF2 (American) at L22.
That's bull :P Absolute, total, unrepentant bull. One big bang from Zeromus at that level would wipe you so completely gone that there's nothing
you can do. And there's like no way you could get through that battle without him using Big Bang at least once. Not to mention the fact that Edge ALWAYS
joins your party at like level 28 or so.. and getting through the giant takes characters at level 40 or so.. if there were a spell like Life3 in FF6, I'd
start to believe.. but in that game.. that's just not happening.
4) There is no four. I just wanted to make my list look more substantial.
heh.. to think most guys use surgery :o
P.S. That was my pet hound-eye, Aarron. Sorry
Are you saying you find me attractive? :o
Since you hit on the subject yesterday, I'd like to give a little info on
the whole girl gamer / dating situation. Although I do not find it hard to
believe that girl gamers exist, you'd be hard pressed to find an attractive
one. Not to offend any of you ladies out there that I haven't met, but,
let's do a little example.
Lets say we take 100 girls. Maybe about 15 of those girls are attractive
(although beauty is in the eye of the beholder)... Now, from that same 100,
how many spend a good amount of their time playing videogames? Maybe 1 or 2?
So, finding that lucky girl that fits into both catagories can be quite a
Of course, this only applies to those guy gamers who are actually
attractive, and would have a chance at getting another attractive girl (like
Brad, or myself for example).
To start things out, my g/f is not a gamer.. she plays games occasionally, she does do roleplaying (pen and paper, free form, that kind of stuff)
, but she doesn't play video games as a natural hobby for her. And well, if you put your logic like that, then really, there's only 1 or 2 girls
out of every hundred for anything. Say there's 15 attractive girls out of a hundred. Maybe one of them likes sailing. Another likes horses. Your
chances are pretty even, and honestly, I think you're cutting it down way too much when you say only 15% of women are attractive. Learn to look
beyond looks, because #1: Beauty fades with time, but the mind is forever. #2: You might be good looking now, but if that's all she's with you for,
then she'll be swept away by the next prettyboy in line. I'm not saying date people you find ugly, just take a lot less of the pressure off of women
to be this 'perfection' model and such. It's attitudes like yours that makes "Cosmopolitan" sell like it does, and those magazines fill up chick's
heads with all kinds of crazy shit, and makes 'em do weird things. Wait, was I just being not-sexist? Ooooh, maybe I'm really not a bad person after
My friends love me, because they can use me to bitch to 5,000 readers.. if they want.
You just had to go there, didn't you?
Just rip on my Galaga skills in a public forum, eh? Well, I'll have
you know I have given up Galaga in favor of a more ("recycle to the")
EXTREME game. I'm talking about Crazy Taxi. Oh yes, though I've never been
a fan of any racing games (save Top Gear), Crazy Taxi has captured the
heart of this Edge and taken it to new extremes.
It's been said by innocent bystanders that much of my enjoyment of
the game comes from the catharsis of redheads in plaid skirts asking *me*
for a ride for once, but these people quickly get the Mumble of Doom as I
continue to race around pseudo-San Fransisco at near time-travelling
speeds, trying to get this chick to KFC in time to make a sweet tip (Would
it be that my car were indestrucable, I'd be Crazy Sliding my way into the
arms of a fashionable cutie at this very moment. But it's not, so I'm not.
C'est la vie.)
I've ended up holding the top two spots at the Crazy Taxi machine
at Harrah's in Lake Tahoe, but I'll admit my top score of $10,xxx doesn't
compare to the 40-50 thousand scores at Wonderpark, but hey, I started
feeling bad for the machine after jamming the stick so much (once again,
cartharsis *mumble* ACK RUN). I swear, there's good playing, and then
there's just milking the machine for all it's worth. Or maybe I'm just
The other apple in my eye was Silent Scope, but I can't justify
spending Three Whole Quarters (guess who's unemployed again) on the
Shooting Range, which gives me much more joy than the Story Mode. Plus
there's also the unparalleled combination of joy and horror of seeing a
12-year-old kid get behind the barrel of a sniper rifle and get fifteen
head shots in a row.
And then there's Dance Dance Revolution. It's about time Konami
decided to bring over the Bemani games to America (Hip Hop Mania my arse.
Beatmania forever!). It's not just that DDR is fun. It's the opportunity it
gives you to get strange women to do something physical with you. Few women
are able to resist the combination of direct eye-contact (fueled by an
adrenaline-packed, first-place scoring game of Crazy Taxi) and the words,
"C'mon. I'll pay." (I am, of course, still talking about DDR. "Trix are for
Hahaha.. beware the mumble of doom! .. We actually saw that DDR game at Gameworks, (or something a lot like it..) and I saw
Silent Scope.. that game looks pretty neat.
*** Some FF6 spoilers ***
Hello Mr. Oracle sir,
Right now I am playing FFVI on the PSX and I was wonderin' if you could answer a few little questions for a poor, confused, gamer. 1) I seem
to have just about finished every thing except Kefka's tower and there are still a couple of dragons wandering the world. Are they on the way to
Kefka? 2) Also I am trying to get my party on some decent levels, but it is taking for ever. Is there anything I can do to speed this process up or
am I doomed to fight Tyranno for hours on end?
1. Yes, there are two dragons (skull and gold) on the way up the tower. 2. That's where Kev and myself both level up.. Tyrannos
and the occasional Brachosaur. Just put the Cursed Shield and a Ribbon on someone, learn some magic, get an Economizer or two.. it'll be over
before you know it.