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Final Fatnasy IIIIIII - Review

NRA4LIFE

Final Fatnasy IIIIIII Review

By: Pink Eagle


Stop...! Break it Down!
   Battle System S
   Interface C
   Music/Sound R
   Originality E
   Plot W
   Localization T
   Replay Value I
   Visuals F
   Difficulty A
   Time to Complete !  
Coveralls that DON'T Quite Cover ALL!

Nothing! Zip! Zilch! Zero! The Bagel!

WHY I Hate Tifa

final fatnasy iiiiiii
 

   Intro Paragraph. i want to prepare the readers for whats to come. so this review is about final fantasy vii. it is a really good game for playstation i got it for christmas and it was so hard but i beat it and killed the last boss sephiroth god i hate sephiroth. because he killed aeris and it made me cry i hate sephiroth. but hes so cool i wish i could be sephiroth. it was really fun but since they killed aeris i had to give it a 0 because she was my favorite character shes so hot not like tifa because anyone that likes tifa is a pervert because they like her big boobs.

the battle system is awesome cause when you get a lot of levels you get these things called summons. their so strong plus theres one called neo bahamut haha hes awesome i kill everything in one hit with it. even sephiroth! trust me if you get it then the game gets really easy but still fun cause the neo bahamut movie is long and you can pimp your girlfriend watching. oh yeah theres also this materia stuff but i dont really get it i just put neobahamut in my buster sword with cloud and win. i don't understand how neobahamut fits in the buster sword. can someone tell me how? oh yeah im also trying to beat the big green thing in the water by the submarine it keeps killing me even with neo bahamut. someone that knows how to beat him please email me at my email address thanx man


neo bahamut is so cool
I Dropped The Paper in the Toilet But Thats Ok  

okay the interface is pretty simple. you use the controller to move (i dont understand why they didnt use analog because i like analog. except in ape escape cause i always fall off the cliffs but you cant fall off cliffs in final fantasy seven ha ha) and you press the x button to run. its all text speech though. i dont get that. with so many cds they should have been able to speak all of it. cause then square could have got some hot chick to play aeris like that girl on buffy the vampire slayer shes hot. anyway its pretty cool and you get to use your imagination on how they sound like and stuff.


fighting is so awesome
An Incredible Amount of Battle Commands.  

oh yeah music and sound ok its really good but like i said above i wish that square made the characters talk. that would have helped the sound score a lot especially if they gave aeris a really cool voice. god she is so sexy. i wish i could stick my <Paws: don't put that there, you could get me fired!> oh ok paws said that i can't put that there so i'm not. thats cool. i bet paws is sexy too. that sexy psov head. hey paws can you hire me please i can do a lot of cool things and stuff yeah. ok just email me you have my address and you can talk to me whenever you want thanx :) oh yeah anyway the music is awesome you should listen to the sephiroth song at the end i don't know the real words but i think its german or something. the sound when enemies die is cool too. 'piyoooo'. hehehehehehe cool. the song when aeris dies is also very sad :(  i don't think it should be that sad cause that jenova life boss is so damn hard. all that aqua stuff it shoots. i wish there was some way to stop it.

okay the game is really original but since its the seventh game in the series i think that a lot of people would think that its getting old. its the only game ive played but still 7 games is a lot (i got tired of megaman after 5!) so i dont think its very original. hold on i gotta use the bathroom sorry im sick and i got diahrrea so wait a second. ok anyway it would be cool to play the others to see what aeris was like before but i hear you have to get a super nes to play final fantasy vi (which is final fantasy three in the US. god its confusing).

okay the plot. basically you are cloud this person that was part of SOLDIER. he wasnt really part of SOLDIER though he just pretended he was. anyway he blows up these mako reactors and leaves his home with barret and tifa and they go off to destroy sephiroth and jenova. but sephiroth kills aeris which was really sad but then they beat shinra and jenova and then killed sephiroth. there was this part at the end where you got to fight against sephiroth one on one with cloud and he did this awesome move like omnistrike or something. it killed sephiroth haha thats what happens when you kill characters i like. oh yeah and then theres this big meteor coming to the planet but you stop it with holy or that weird mako stream stuff. the end. aeris is really hot. i wish she didnt die. i wrote a song for aeris though, here.

your death made me sad
you had my best armor when you got slayed
but theres one thing that still makes me glad
its...that youre still one hot babe

cool huh? okay localization. um. i don't know what that means so i'll skip it.


You Know What You Doing!
Main Screen Turn On!  

   "Replay Value. Would you play this? Again and again and once more just for kicks? Did you hate it so much you traded it away?" yes i would play this. again and again and once more just for kicks. i did not hate it so much i traded it away. its so fun and you can play it all the time. i get bored after about an hour but then i always feel like i want to play it again. oh i found this super awesome code before on how to get aeris back. i forgot the details but it has something to do with underwater materia. ITS TRUE. THE UNDERWATER MATERIA IS IN THE GAME AND WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU USE IT FOR EXCEPT BRING AERIS BACK? OH CRAP MY SHIFT KEYS STUCK.


Your Ad Here
Call (911) 503-1045  

OKAY THE GRAPHICS ARE REALYL GOOD AND THE MOVIES ARE AWESOME. EXCEPT THAT SOMETIMES THE PEOPLE LOOK FUNNY CAUSE THEY HAVE SKINNY ARMS BUT I CANT DO ANY BETTER SO ILL SHUT UP.

OKAY THERE ARE TWO MORE PARAGRAPHS IM SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT DIFFICULTY AND TIME TO COMPLETE BUT I WAS READING THE REVIEWS AND THAT GUY WITH THE MOST REVIEWS JAKE ALLEY HE DOESNT WRITE THEM ALL THE TIME SO I DONT REALLY HAVE TO HA HA. ANYWAY GET FINAL FANTASY 6 ITS AN AWESOME GAME PEACE

APRIL FOOLS! - CiddypooKun [ciddypoo@rpgamer.com]






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