|Final Fantasy X - SPOOF!|
A Legend In Its' Time
| Battle System
| Replay Value
| Time to Complete
I can't remember the last time I played a game as grossly
inappropriate as this one. As the game progressed, more and more
indecency was exposed and shown off as good! As if Tifa from Final
Fantasy VII wasn't bad enough... NOW we have a character who's neckline
is her nipples and hem is... well... what hemline? And then there's the
whole thing about death! The only thing I really liked was that there
was this big thing called Sin which would destroy everything every now
and then because people are naturally bad.
Well, since I'm forced to talk about the battle system, here goes.
I was rather confused when they changed their engine. I prefer the
age-old ATB system, where many fights turned into a button-mashing war,
which I can win 'cause it's mindless. This new system makes you think!
I can't believe that Square would have the audacity to make us take our
minds off of screensaver mode just to pay attention to and strategize
violence. It's just not right!
I don't understand what interface is.
|More Cruelty To Animals!|| |
I had to mute the sound on the television when playing this for
fear that, at any moment, they might have Lulu do a stripshow and cheesy
porn music would start playing. Also, the voices sounded too much like
real people, and I can't stand real people. They always act like I'm so
stuck up and overly zealous about morals. I'm not! That kid down the
road DESERVED being impaled for swearing... he did! And they say I'm
heartless... it's not my fault! It's a medical condition that I can't
change. Now you're discriminating, and I don't have to take it!
Whew, not that that's done, I can say how incredibly unoriginal
this whole thing was. First off, the battle system was completely
changed from the previous six games, which in itself is a travesty. If
there's one thing my mommy taught me, it's not to break from tradition.
So, originality is BAD! I could have given it a higher score just to
show how much I don't like it, but that might give off the wrong
impression and I hate giving off the wrong impression because first
impressions are very important because most people aren't willing to
change their views once their minds are made up and that's a good thing
because you shouldn't have to think someone should do the thinking for
you wow I'm running out of breath...
Now that I've woken up, I'll can tell you just how awful the plot
was! I'm so excited.
|Ah, The Great Translation... NOT!|| |
First off, everybody depends on these violent people called
guardians which guard people called summoners which can destroy Sin if
they finish some sort of unholy pilgramige. If the people have done
something so bad that they deserve something like Sin to come and
destroy them, so be it! It is an act of God, and He is infallible.
There were a couple good things in there like how they are all being
punished for their sins and that's good, but when the leaders of this
whole belief system are shown to be BAD I went completely ape-s**t. I
couldn't believe that Square would ever put forth the idea the religious
leaders could be hypocrites and work against the people especially that
Seymour guy doesn't he piss me off oh I could go in there and just beat
the living wow I need to calm down so give me a minute and ill be back
I hope that's all of the plot that I need to put in, because after
that last blackout I forgot more of the game. Oh well... not like I
really want to remember this anyway.
|A scandalous shot of Lulu|| |
I can't remember exactly why I put such a low score for
localization, but it must be because of the picture of the Al Bhed over
there. Just look at it! They didn't even translate the whole thing,
leaving poor saps like myself to just shake my head and wonder if it's
really worth knowing... thankfully, that lewd girl Rikku could translate
some but she's awfully young to be a fighter not that she's much of one
anyway but she STOLE stuff and stealing is bad which means she's in
trouble because she's SINNING! Not only that, but she steals stuff from
guys and THROWS IT BACK AT THEM! How cruel! Why I could....!
Ugh, too many blackouts. Can't remember anything. Oh well. Lulu?
Oh, she must be the reason why some of those perverted people would
replay this game, cause she shows off so much yet shows so little in her
character. Nothing like a hot, mysterious chick to rouse the
fornicators and get them playing with her. Bleh! She's also the reason
I gave the visuals a low score, because she steals the scene and isn't
well done, and anyone who steals the scene like that should look
spectacular graphics-wise and she doesn't.
I had a hard time getting through this game, what with the fits I
had at the absolute absurdity and pish-posh the game advertised, and
then some of the changes they put into the game. It took me twenty
hours to figure out that confounded sphere grid, and then I kept going
backwards and I couldn't understand why my guys weren't learning
everything quicker, but I somehow made it with my 72 hour days... and
most people sleep every 24... hah!
It took me a lot of 72 hour runs to beat the game 'cause I just
couldn't figure it out.
Overall, this game is a blippin' heresy! Giant fish with cages as
stomachs, calling aeons from Hell, dead people walking... I can't stand
it! And then there was that stupid guy who had one arm in a sleeve and
the other out - didn't he chap my a**! And so many revealing
characters! Lulu, Rikku, Shiva... ack! And then, the Sphere Grid will
teach the children who play this game that learning magic is good! And
so, all those characters, and Harry Potter and his wizard friends will
go to Hell for practicing witchcraft! YAY!