Huh? What? Shazam!
(Author's note: Personally, Viki is one of my favorite characters. She's just too adorable!! It's too bad she was so poorly developed in the game(s)...)
"No, no, NO!!"
"Huh? What? Am I doing something wrong?" The instructor smacked his hand against his face, his impatience fading like water in a desert.
"To put it mildly, you are doing something wrong," he said with slow, seething deliberation. "And to put it bluntly, YOU'RE SCREWING EVERYTHING UP!!!"
"Gosh, I'm sorry," replied the Failure Student, her eyes staring off into space. The instructor growled so loudly that the windows could have broken, and he shouted out his final verdict on the girl's skills.
"I've had enough of you!" he roared, and with that, the=20master Blink Mage teleported the Failure Student away, hoping to never see her again...
Five years passed, and the Failure Student was now seventeen years old.
Her mother started calling her Viki around the time she turned five years old; before that, well, her parents were too confused to give their girl a proper name. Oftentimes the parents would argue about her name, and then somebody would be teleported off somewhere, and they would be forced to walk back home. They would always kiss and make up after that (literally, if you know what I mean), and then a few days would pass, and the arguments and confusion would start up again. This went on for five years, and in that span of time, the little girl went without a name.
Eventually, they would decide on the perfect name, but even now the parents cannot agree as to whether or not it was a good choice. Viki (that was ultimately her name) would never really get involved with the debates; oftentimes, she would be lost in her own thoughts. Viki was an artist first and a Blink Mage second, and maybe she would learn how to fight one day. Of course, her interest in these subjects declined in importance: she concentrated on her art first and foremost, would playact a Blink Mage if asked (poor girl hardly ever studied), and tried her best to become a good fighter.
Viki's mother and father were infamous Blink Mages; her mother was=20the best in the group, but even that was saying a lot. Her accuracy was incredible, but oftentimes she hardly ever teleported the correct thing. Her father could teleport anything, but his accuracy was so horrible that it often=20made a client sick to the stomach.
Genetics was kinder to Viki, but not by much. She had no trouble teleporting things--really she didn't--and her accuracy wasn't that bad,=20really it wasn't. But even old Crowley wasn't perfect (at least Viki didn't think so), and the young Blink Mage could certainly not boast any better...
Anyway, Viki had been kicked out of another school, and once again, she found herself whiling away her hours in a daydream, completely oblivious=20as to where she was. A seventeen-year-old could take better care of herself=20than a twelve-year-old could, but Viki was a hazard magnet no matter how old she got. This time around, she found herself in a very distant and very foreign country, one of which she had never heard of. The last time she had been kicked out of a school, she found herself at the Muse-Matilda border (or was it the Great Forest?).
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, having accidentally bumped into someone. The man smiled at her, laughing softly.
"Oh, that's okay," he said in a soothing voice. Viki smiled, but couldn't help but wonder where she was.
"Hey, is this Jaaru Saylim?" she asked. The man chuckled and shrugged.
"Sorry, pretty lady. You're in the township of Bethl Hamlet. Jaaru Saylim is on another continent."
"Oh, not again," sighed Viki, her feet kicking the floor. "I really tried hard this time, I really did! But at least the elephants didn't trample the gardens..." The man blinked, somewhat surprised at what the young girl had said.
"Uh... m-my name is Lawen," he muttered, sticking his hand out. Viki snapped out of her daydream, noticed the man's hand, and gasped.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Lowen, did you say?"
"No, ma'am, it's Lawen."
"Lawen, my dear." Lawen's patience was famous in Bethl Hamlet.
"Lo Wen? Hey, do you know the Lampdragon Bandits?"
"Uh, no, I don't," said the man slowly. Viki smiled.
"I'm Viki, a Blink Mage! You know, teleportation?"
"Ah," nodded Lawen, "so that's how you came here so suddenly." Viki nodded her head, and asked the man's name again. He had to repeat it seven more times before she finally got it right.
"So Viki," said Lawen, staring at her forehead, "what brings you here?" The two of them were eating at a fairly fine restaurant; like all his previous escapades, Lawen started this one off with a fine dinner. Lawen, the most patient heartthrob in Bethl Hamlet, had a way with women, a way=20that would make even the toughest shells crack under his smile.
"Well," she said, stuffing rolls in her mouth, "I was thrown out of the mage school in Jaaru Saylim, and I think I got teleported here. Hey, are you gonna eat that?"
"What, this?" asked Lawen, pointing to a choice sirloin. He sighed and cut half of it up for his "friend". Viki smiled, but paid no attention to the meat.
"Huh?" she said, and suddenly gasped as she noticed the sirloin on her table. "Wow, are you giving this to me?!?"
"Yes, I am," smiled Lawen. Viki dug into the steak, but was already too full to finish the rest of it. Carefully she wiped her mouth, and thanked Lawen for the dinner. Suddenly, without any rhyme or reason, Viki left=20her chair and was never seen in Bethl Hamlet again.
"Oh my, I'm hungry!" exclaimed Viki the next day. She had slept outdoors and had recently digested the dinner she had eaten, but now her belly demanded food. Viki leaned up against a tree and put her hand to her mouth, but soon was lost in a vivid and colorful daydream...
"Oh my, I'm hungry!" exclaimed Viki. She snapped out of her daze, amazed to find herself in a forest, and immediately set out to find some=20food. She giggled when she saw a small rabbit hop across her way, and bent down to scoop the creature up. It did not run away, but it did wiggle in her=20arms a little. "Oh, what a cute bunny!" smiled Viki, giggling openly. She sighed and petted the bunny a little more, and soon lost herself in another daydream.
"Oh my, I'm hungry!" exclaimed Viki for the third time. By the=20time her stomach awoke her from her daydream, the bunny was gone and the afternoon sun was high in the sky. She squinted up at the blazing ball of fire, and continued her journey for food. She took a brief rest at a nearby river.
"Ah," she sighed, dipping her tired feet in the water. Her stomach would not need water for awhile, but liquid was a poor substance for food, and a fourth growling reminded her of this fact. Viki sighed, still very hungry, and leaned back a little to rest from her travels. Her mind slipped...
"Oh my, I'm hungry!"
Viki walked into the town, unaware that the goblin was still following her. The little creature had met her in the forest, and would have robbed=20her blind if she had anything on her, but the only object of value that Viki had was her scepter. Fortunately, the goblin took a liking to the mage, and decided to follow her around until he could find better victims.
But as Viki walked into the tavern, she was still unaware of the creature's presence.
"May I have something to eat?" she asked the barkeep. The woman smiled at the young mage, and handed her a well-balanced meal of mashed potatoes, a biscuit, a thin slice of ham, some peas and carrots, and a small slice of chocolate cake (note to the reader: under no circumstances should Viki ever come within eating distance of chocolate. Trust me, it's not something you'd risk). Viki smiled and teleported some potch from her secret savings, and told the kind lady to keep whatever change there was.
"Hey!" shouted the goblin, and Viki nearly dropped her meal in surprise.
"Oh! What are you doing here, Mr. Goblin?" she asked. The little=20creature sighed.
"I told you, I'm following around! Now let me have some of that money so I can buy something to eat!"
"Oh, of course!" said Viki. She asked the barkeep for some goblin food, and the tiny creature got his favorite dish in return. He nearly cried at the taller one's kindness, but was curtly left behind as Viki absentmindedly carried her platter to an empty table.
"Hey, wait for me!" shouted the goblin, nimbly carrying his meal=20to the same table. Viki suddenly noticed the creature, although she claimed=20having no recollection of ever leaving it behind. The goblin sighed, and joined Viki as they ate their dinner together.
"Oh, umm, I forgot," said Viki suddenly, a spoonful of potatoes still on her plate. The goblin looked up at her, his face full of creamed quail. "My name is Viki, the Blink Mage. Who are you?"
"Jmm hah hee Pmkn," mumbled the goblin. He swallowed his food and spoke again. "Just call me Pilkin," he said, stretching his short hand=20out.
"Pilika? Say, do you know Jowy Blight? I think he's a king now..."
"Pilkin!!" shouted the goblin. Several patrons turned their heads, but nobody really paid any attention to the little creature until he REALLY started shouting.
"Pilkin, you twit!"
"Palcan Youtwit? What a funny name!" exclaimed Viki.
"PIL-KIN!!" roared the goblin. "Pilkin, Pilkin, Pilkin!!"
"OH, Pilkin!!" Viki smiled, and giggled to herself. "Why didn't you say so before?" The goblin growled, and nearly threw his plate of food at the poor girl. But before his greasy fingers could touch his plate, a powerful hand crushed his arm.
"Pilkin Redleaf," said a low, dead voice. Pilkin gulped and shakily looked up to see who had him in their grip. The man smiled, leering down=20at the goblin with perverse glee. He was a tall sucker, with a prickly black beard and long, prickly black hair. He was dressed like a woodsman, although the sword resting at his side identified him as a knight. His tunic was red with a large golden cross embroidered on it, and a layer of chain mail protected him from weak attacks.
"H-hello, Cedric," shivered the goblin. The mysterious man sneered, released his grip, and joined the duo.
"Hello there, little worm," said the knight in a dark, fluent voice. "My my, picking on young girls like a little bully! Tell me, who's your victim now?" Pilkin pointed a quaking finger at Viki, who had spaced out again.
"H-her? Wh-why sh-she's V-Viki, a B-blink mage." The knight smiled, and stood up.
"My dear lady," he addressed, bowing gracefully. Viki suddenly snapped out of her daydream, astonished to see a new guest at her table.
"Huh? Oh, who're you? I don't remember ever seeing you," she=20said. The knight smiled, and took her frail hand in his.
"My name is Sir Cedric Percival Muir-Statos of the Invincible Oak Hunters. It is a supreme honor to meet you, my lady Viki." Viki smiled, and tried her best at guessing his name.
"Uh, was that Cecil von Schmeer?"
"No, my dear: Sir Cedric Percival Muir-Statos."
"Simon Blake Dubois?"
"No, my lady: Sir Cedric Muir-Statos. CED-RIC MUIR-STAT-OS."
"Just call me Cedric, my lady," sighed the knight.
"Oh, right. Cedric. Gosh, that's a tough name to remember!"
"Yes," sighed the knight, resting his head on his hands. Viki smiled, finished her meal, and suddenly left the table.
"Hey, where're you going?" asked Pilkin. Cedric snarled and grasped the goblin's arm in his hand again.
"That does not concern you, you little worm!" he growled. "Just worry about me, and I assure you that you will have an easier day!!"
"Here we go again," murmured the barkeep.
Three days passed, and Viki last found herself relaxing in a warm pond. She was not alone, though: several new friends were there with her. Once=20she teleported away from the town, she found herself in the mountains, with=20a beaten path in front of her. Upon following this path, she came to a small cottage, where she was welcomed by a poor blind hermit and his daughters. She enjoyed her time in the cottage, and felt like she could be there forever.
"This is nice, isn't it?" sighed Viki. One of the blind man's daughters, a mature young woman named Prudence, smiled wisely.
"Yes. Father's pool has always been a favorite resting place for=20us. You are more than welcome to come here anytime, miss Viki." Viki smiled, splashing the water around gently.
"Oh, thank you, Petunia!" Prudence smiled patiently.
"My name is Prudence, Viki." Viki blushed.
"Sorry, I'm real sorry. I'll get it right next time, Pamela."
"Uh... Yeah, Prudence." Viki smiled, submerged herself, and did not come back up for a very long time. Another girl, a quiet and gentle soul=20named Charity, was perhaps the first to notice her friend's absence.
"Viki? Where, where did she go, Constance?"
"How should I know?" blurted the third sister. "I'm not her keeper."
"Constance!" scolded Prudence. She and her younger sister dipped=20into the pool, only to find Viki floating near the bottom, completely oblivious that she was submerged. Charity gently pinched her friend's naked shoulder, and Viki snapped out of her thoughts with a jump.
"Blo! I auubba dauuba blubb..." She smiled, apologized, and surfaced again. Once she caught her breath, Viki smiled and almost forgot about the entire matter. "I said that I didn't know where I was," she said, and the girls could only wonder.
"You're a strange one, Viki," said Constance. Viki smiled, and=20splashed some water at the older girl. "Hey, cut that out! Or do you want=20some in return!?" Constance violently flung buckets of water at Viki's direction, but was only bombarded in return. Even Prudence and Charity joined in, and soon all three girls were soaking wet. Viki giggled, dove into the=20water to avoid getting any wetter (try making sense out of that), and was never seen in those parts again.
One month passed.
"Oh my!" exclaimed Viki suddenly, staring up at a large tower.=20"Where did all the chocobos go?" She pondered to herself, halfway aware=20that she was standing in the middle of a desert--and a large tower was right in front of her.
"Aaaaaah, I can't believe it!!" shouted a voice. Viki snapped out of her daze and noticed a strange little fellow pulling on the tower doors. Politely, she walked over to the man, and asked why he couldn't believe it.
"Huh? Who're you?" asked the man, and Viki introduced herself.=20"Yes, well, my name is Green, and I need to get inside this tower!"
"Ah," said Viki, her mouth hanging open in a smile. "Green is an easy name to remember!" The small man stopped pulling on the tower door=20and turned around, staring at the young girl in disbelief.
"...You're not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?" he asked.
"Knife? Where? What do you mean?" asked Viki.
"Never mind," sighed Green. "Just leave me alone! Oh, there has to be a way in here, there HAS to!"
"I can teleport you inside," offered Viki. Green paused and turned to face her again.
"Say what?" Viki smiled, and nodded her head. "Well, now! Why didn't you say so before?"
"Say what before?"
"That you can teleport!" exclaimed Green.
"Oh! Well, ah, I guess you never asked." Green paused again.
"Never mind," he sighed. "Just teleport me inside this tower, and I'll reward you with one single treasure that's in there!" Viki gasped at the idea of having another treasure added to her collection, and carefully recited the spell of teleportation.
"Shazam!" she shouted, but unfortunately, neither Viki nor Green=20were teleported inside the tower.
"...and that's when I swung my sword, and you know what happened=20after that?"
"(Giggle) No, Lawen, tell me what happened!"
"Well, the dragon was killed, the king rewarded me, and I've been a knight ever since."
"(Sigh) Oh, Lawen, you're so--"
"Ah, at last we're--uh? WHAT THE?!?!?"
"Another woman?!?! You cheating, lying, spineless..."
"But Carol!! I don't even know her!!"
"That's not true, you treated me to dinner..."
"Hey, she was kinda cute..."
One hour passed.
"I really hope you can forgive me," said Viki sadly, her eyes begging. Lawen sighed, smiling lightly.
"Think nothing of it, lady Viki. Carol, she... well, she was just not my type."
"This isn't the tower," grumbled Green. Viki turned to him and=20apologized.
"I'm sorry about that as well," she sighed. "I know I'm not the best Blink Mage out there, but I'm getting better!!" Lawen smiled,=20and forgave the poor girl.
"Yes, well, what are you doing here, anyway?" he asked?
"Oh, see, I was gonna teleport Mr. Green here inside this tower, but we accidentally got sent here instead. Weird, huh?"
"Yes," mumbled Lawen. "Weird..."
"Hey, I don't like this place," said Green suddenly. "Let's get outta here, and make sure you do things right this time!" Viki smiled, winked, and before Lawen could protest, she teleported herself, Green, and the heartthrob away...
"Once again, I'm sorry," sighed Viki, bowing her head as low as she could. Cedric sighed, tossing a bag of gold up in the air.
"Nobody's perfect," he mumbled. "I guess I can forgive you, but I don't know about Pilkin. Hey, worm, are you going to be all right, or shall I have to apply leeches to you?"
"I'm fine," spat Pilkin, nursing his arm. Viki and crew=20had but recently landed on the duo, and although the weight of a young seventeen-year-old girl and a little man was hardly painful, the feel of a full-grown heartthrob landing on your shoulders is something that very few people, or goblins, would ever want to experience.
"I suppose he'll live," mumbled Cedric. "But I must inquire as to why you desire to enter this tower so badly."
"Because!" said Green. "An evil magician has stolen all my treasure, and she's locked it all up in that tower! I'm a magician myself, so I should be able to get in there, but the magic barrier surrounding the place is too strong!"
"Hm," hummed Cedric, "that does seem a bit troublesome. Well, I'm sure that Lady Viki will be able to assist you. As for Pilkin and myself, well, we'll be off on our way. Won't we, worm?"
"Just stop calling me that," growled the goblin. Cedric smiled, and winked at Viki.
"Huh? What? What happened?"
Together, Viki, Green, Cedric, Pilkin, Prudence, Constance, and Charity stared up at the tall tower. As can be expected, Viki accidentally teleported the knight and the goblin with her, and they managed to land right outside the cottage in the mountains. After much explanation and apologies, Viki tried her skills one more time, and was fairly successful--but she brought=20the three girls with her.
"No matter," sighed Cedric once the situation became clear. "Now that we're here, we might as well try the spell one more time. And Viki, my dear Lady, do try and get it right this time."
"Right," nodded Viki. Using every skill she had learned from her=20brief studies, Viki successfully teleported herself AND her new friends inside the tower. The spell worked a little too well, however: they found themselves right in front of the evil magician that Green had spoken of.
"Jumping Jehosaphat!" exclaimed Green. "It's you! It's the=20wizard! Hey Viki, your spell worked!!"
"Huh? What? Oh, hey, we made it inside...!"
"Never mind," sighed Green, turning his attention to the evil wizard. She merely giggled, and seductively swayed over to the smaller magician.
"Hey, handsome," she smiled, twirling his curly hair in her fingers, "did you come up all the way here to see me?"
"I, ah, NO, I didn't!" stuttered Green. The "evil magician" giggled innocently, and winked at Green. He blushed, but was able to block her "attack". "Enough of this!" he shouted. "N-now you give me=20back my treasure, or... or else!"
"Or else?" sang the wizard, her lips smiling playfully. "Oooh,=20that sounds fun. I'll take =91or else', please!" Green's face turned red, and he stamped his foot down on the floor.
"A-all right, Violet! Y-you asked for it now! G-go get her, men!!"
"It's not in my blood to harm a lady," said Cedric plainly. Pilkin agreed.
"Yeah, man. Solve your own problems!" Only Lawen, naturally, stepped forward, although he had no intention of defeating the exotic woman.
"Good day, my fair lady," sang Lawen smoothly. "Isn't it a warm day today? My my, it seems as if you've become very rich, and very important."
"Ah, I love a man who knows how to flatter a woman," sighed the wizard. Green's face turned... well, green, and he pushed aside the flirtatious man.
"H-hey, now! I said STOP her, not SWOON her! Jeez! Hey ladies, why=20don't you give her a try?"
"No way, man!" snorted Constance. "Do your own dirty work."
"She doesn't seem to be the evil type anyway," noted Prudence.
"I think she likes you!" giggled Charity. Green grunted, desperate enough to try one last person.
"Huh? What? You need me for something?" Green sighed, and pointed to the wizard. Viki nodded her head, and approached the "evil" woman boldly.
"Hi there," smiled the woman. Viki smiled back.
"Oh, hello! My name's Viki. Who are you?"
"Violent?" A pause.
"That's close enough," muttered the wizard. Viki giggled.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Violet."
"Huh? What? Am I doing something wrong, Mr. Green?" The short wizard bounced up and down, fuming mad.
"No, you're not doing anything wrong, sweetie," sand Violet, placing her arm around Viki's neck. "It's just that, well, little Mr. Green here has a thing for treasure, so I sort of, well, took some of his. You know, like a little game?"
"Oh," said Viki, nodding her head. "Well, can you give it back=20to him? He seems to want it back really badly." Violet smiled at Viki's=20naïveté, and promised herself to become friends with the younger girl.
"All right, I'll let you have your silly treasure," sang Violet. This calmed Green down considerably, so much so that he collapsed on the floor.
"R-really?" he whispered, and Violet nodded her head. "Truly?"
"Sure. But you really should have asked like my friend Viki here--HEY, where'd she go?" Violet paused, and everyone spread out to search for Viki. Not even the treasure was remembered; everyone searched the whole tower, but was unable to find their friend.
The whereabouts of Viki will always be a continuous mystery. Right now, she could be anywhere, doing anything, talking to anybody, and only those few unfortunate people would know where exactly she was. Nobody, especially not Viki, knows where she is now.
"You are a cute bunny," giggled Viki, giving the rabbit a kiss. She let the animal go, but it did not hop away. Strangely enough, the creature began to transform, until it grew to the size of a young man, roughly Viki's age!
"Huh? What? What happened?" asked the boy. Viki herself asked the same question. "Hey, I must have done it again," noted the boy. "I do that sometimes, you know."
"Turn myself into an animal," replied the boy. "Thankfully, though, I was able to get out of it. I must've gotten kissed by a pretty girl who loves animals." Viki smiled, blushed slightly, and introduced herself.
"My name is Viki, and I'm a Blinking Mage. I guess I was the one=20who freed you."
"Did you say your name was Victoria?"
"Vancy, was it?"
"What? Oh, hi, my name is Viki!"
"Vira... what a beautiful name..."
"Thanks!" smiled Viki. "And who are you?"
"Miki. I'm a Beast mage."
"Uh, it's Miki."
"Huh? Oh, hey, I'm Miki."
"Mikey, right? Wow, that's such a nice name!"
"Huh?" The two young mages smiled at each other, paused, and walked through the forest, hand in hand, heart in heart, utterly lost in the world of dreams.
Huh? What? Hey, is this the end? Really? Wow!