*From the writings of Hawkeye, taken from a journal of his writtings durring his journey gathering the spirits guarding the mana stones....*
I am sorry that it has been a few days since last I was able to write into this journal of mine for we have been rather busy of late trying to collect the spirits from these mana stones. You must also forgive me for any grammatical errors that I make tonight, it's hard to write when it's so late but sleep just isn't with me tonight. Don't know what it is, just... never really been heavy on sleeping. Of course Angela's mummblings in her bed behind me isn't helping much either. Poor girl, that faery staying up in her head must be driving her absolutly insane. I just can't imagine having a creature like that living in me, being able to read my thoughts. Of course I guess that's exactly what I am doing when I'm writting in this isn't it?
I look at my two compatrons and wonder how much longer this journey will last, if we will even be successful. Although if we can't come through this, then I guess our lives will be lost too huh? But look how far we've gotten. Poor Angela, being thrown out of her only home like that or else be sacrificed by a mother I highly doubt ever loved her. Much of her sleep talking is of that too, at least from what I hear. Usually it's just random things that I guess make no senses unless I'm the one dreaming.
Then there's Lise, what are we going to do with her. Such an amazing girl, with such potential and heart. If there happened to be more people like her in this world then perhaps we wouldn't ever have to be on this goddess forsaken journey. Perhaps when this is all through Jessica and I will travel there often, maybe even live there since I highly doubt Navaree can ever be rebuilt to what it once was. Isabella has ruined it for all times. Our people are hypnotised and I again doubt that many if any of them are still alive or will be that when in the end. At least I know that Jessica is safe for now, but with Eagle's death, and I am sure her father has passed to pave the way for Isabella. Jessica will be the ruler of a destroyed kingdom... if we can just get that sword and remove the curse. I am sure Isabella won't harm Jessica, she'll just use her as an escape hatch from us like she did at Rolante.
Such a beautiful place Rolante is, why did Isabella have to invade it with our people? It was a kingdom of good hearted people, Lise served as a wonderful princess and role model for the rest of her people. I just can't help but blame myself for all of Lise's misfortunes. That was my kingdom that attacked her. I feel so much remorse for her. I look at her now all asleep, and deep I see a worried child, still worried for her brother but she sleeps without a care for herself. So badly serving all the others that she cares not for her own well-being. Perhaps if I just fell under Isabella's spell like the rest of the kingdom I wouldn't have a care of feeling for Lise. But then again what am I thinking! Then it would be I who would be send to the front line! It probably would even be I who would charge into the thrown room and perhaps even duel with her. Perhaps it would even be I who would spill her blood and defeat her. Such a horrid thought, you must excuse me for even thinking so.
I just can't help but have such strong feelings to Lise. I don't know what exactly they are or how to describe them, it's... it's so difficult. I know it's not a feeling of love towards her.... or at least I think that it's not. I have Jessica, the girl that I have always been in love with. I am in this journey for her, to save her and for us to live "happily ever after", but then there's Lise. I could now almost call her a sister for all we've gone through but this feeling is not even that. She and I have become much closer than either of use to Angela. We have no issues with the Meridian child, although she has her own problems with the faery and what not. Plus as much as we try to hide it, the fact must be made that she is a brat at times, okay many times but she's livable. To be honest I have a smile on myself and am chuckling about it as I write. But things are just so different than with the Amazon Princess. You must forgive my ramblings, for I can't discribe such.
When we used Jinn to place the invading soldiers asleep, I felt so ashamed of myself for even associating with the Navaree let alone be a life time member. I felt like digging a hole for myself and hiding in it. And when I caught Lise's eye for a moment within my own, the pain and suffering of looking around at her dieing home filled now with horror and terror, it was a look that I still to this day do not know how I was able to survive it. Fighting against Isabella was one thing for me for which I'd be looking to do for some time since I was driven from it, but when the time finally came I fought more for something else. I felt my hatred for Isabella in my mind, but I fought for Lise. I fought to berid the evil of her castle, and I fought for her vengence. I fought to bring peace and honor back to her land and fought for the repayence that Isabella owes her.
What lies ahead for us, that I do not know although I wish. Time is running short on the world and on short for us. Angela can't avoid her mother's armies forever and they keep coming closer and closer to our deaths. Lise perhaps won't survive very so much longer without finding her brother, worry playing culprate in the destruction of her pretty self and the heart that she carries. And Jessica too.... I dispise myself for allowing her to fall into such a trap. I fear with each passing second that time is running out upon her too and that soon we might not make it. To be honest I highly doubt that we can succeed in this journey, we are so out numbered by three entire armies and the odds are too stacked against us but we must try at least. We must have our 1% of hope that guides us and if we loose that then all is lost. But just the looked upon the faces of the two girls whom accompany me can raise the spirits up of anyone up this earth.
May the goddess be with us and aid us in our quest to save her and save this land for which she has blessed us all with life. Time is short and we must not allow it to fall out on us....
*Hawkeye closes the book and looks quickly to the girls still sleeping quietly and unfearfully in their slumbers. Angela still mumbling of her dreams quietly to herself while Lise continues to sleep undisturbed and unmoved. Hawkeye takes in a deep yawn himself and places the book into the bag of his before looking at the clock. 1:30 am Mana Holy Day it reads. He falls into bed and pulls the covers over him quickly escaping into a deep sleep himself.
Within the shadows of the shanty Inn the faery and Jinn sit floating watching over their gaurdians. "I worry about that one Jinn," the faery began, "he is filled with too much... unknown. Too much "should of's and could of's" Know what I am trying to get at?"
Jinn laughed, "Not really. He is just quite confused, much has happened to him, like much has happened to them all. You can't really blame them can you?"
"No, I guess you're right," the faery responded. "Did you read the thoughts he had though coming from him that he wrote down. Confused indeed, are you sure this is a good thing? He has to at least step up some to help Angela get the sword, she is the Meridan child after all."
"You worry too much when you shouldn't. The Goddess is behind us and things will work out in the end. They always have before and I have no doubts things will be different this time." *