By beeblebabe

I'll have died without ever being kissed.

Crazy things like that go through your head when you're dying. Or at least, they go through mind. I'll be dead soon, and there's so much I never did.

Never did anything good, for instance. Never really did anything for anyone other than me. I tried to change. I tried to help people, tried to do something without thinking of myself first. Lot of good that did me. I still screwed it up, still ended up hurting people, and now I'm dying.

Why is it taking so long? I should be dying much faster than this.

Why did I do it all? Why did I betray the only people who've ever treated me like I might actually be more than the rat I am the only people who've treated me like a human. How could I believe him? Damn it. I should have known. Deep down, I should have known I didn't want what he was offering. I didn't want the power, the strength I didn't want to be like them. I just wanted someone to give a shit about me for a change. I just wanted to be something other than a useful nuisance. I just wanted to be loved.

Guess I kinda blew any chance of that when I pulled that trigger.

Yeah, I didn't handle that right, but since when have I handled anything right? I've been screwing up since the day I was born, so why am I surprised that I'm here, dying, because of my screw-ups? I've never believed in God, so why am I begging for his forgiveness and mercy now?

Guess death makes you think crazy things.

Maybe they'll forgive me someday. Maybe they'll understand. Yeah, and maybe rats like me will sprout wings and fly like angels.

Here comes Death sure took you long enough.

Finally a kiss.

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