Chapter Thirteen

A warm touch enfolding my hand drew me back from the numbness, reminding of a safer touch. A brighter memory. I grabbed onto the feeling and fought the numbness back. I couldn't give up. I had to find the answers. I had to--

My eyes focused on the roof of the tree-fort, and my mind snapped to attention. I stood and turned, my hand holding firmly onto the touch and pulling the owner along behind me. Answers would be found there. Questions could be asked there.

I exited the restaurant within the inn and strode toward the path that led around behind City Hall to the tree-fort. I climbed the ladder one-handed, still firmly holding onto the touch that kept the numbness at bay. I pulled myself up into the tree-fort, remaining on my knees as I heaved the toucher along behind. Then I felt the warmth of a body near mine and faced it...

Silver eyes examined my expressions to piece a puzzle I had hidden from people for so long. I needed those pieces. "Mar--"

"Wait." He retrieved his handheld from his back pocket to enter the command functions one-handed, his other still holding mine.

I watched his face, desperation rising within at the press of the questions and the need to know. I gripped the hand tighter, and it returned the pressure.

"I know," he whispered. Marshal punched a few more codes before setting it away and facing me. "Ah--"

I grabbed his denim jacket. "Tell me," I ordered.

Marshal slightly nodded. "I will, Ahndra, but I have to know what you need me to tell you. What are you trying to remember?"

"You," I hissed, barely able to control the panicked need for sanity. "Marshal, why do I remember a fact not real? Why do I hear words not said? Why do I see a face not there?"

Marshal held my wide-eyed gaze. "What fact, Ahndra?"

"You," I pressed.

Marshal's brow furrowed slightly. "Okay... What words? Tell me the words said."

They were burned into my brain. Every inflection. Every expression... "'Ahndra, why don't you finish your studies at Dollet. It'll be safer than staying here. Ahndra, please. I don't want him to hurt you anymore. Come with me to Dollet. Mom and Dad won't mind. I swear. And you'll love my sis.'" I shook him. "How can I hear these words not said? You weren't there!"

"Oh my god, Ahndra, is that-- Yes, I was. I did say that to you."

I shook my head. "No. Impossible! I don't remember! I didn't remember!"

Marshal pulled my hands from his jacket, still holding my gaze. "Seifer and I took you to the Tomb. He came over for a Garden Training and dragged us along. I hadn't seen him for a year because of moving to Dollet, and it was the first time you and I really got to meet and talk about stuff."

I shook my head as he spoke. I didn't remember. I didn't remember any of it. "No... No!" I pulled free, still shaking my head. "I don't remember!"

"It's true, Ahndra. I swear. Just ask Seifer."

My eye and brain began to throb. I closed my eyes and held my head in my hands. "No..."

Marshal enfolded my upper arms in his hands. "Seifer and I were trying to get you to run away, me to Dollet because I knew it would be illegal for you to enroll at Garden, and Seifer to Garden because he figured you could file for Independence. We didn't care what you did; we just wanted you out of there!"

Then why had I stayed? Why had I been raped... again.

"When you didn't come down, Seifer and I called the police. We hoped your father would finally get thrown in jail and you could transfer guardianship to Garden. He did go to jail, but by the time your two-weeks were up in the hospital, he'd posted bail and entered rehab. You were sure he'd changed and so you wouldn't leave. Seifer was mad as hell, but he couldn't leave Garden to drag your ass over there because of his field exam. I couldn't leave Dollet because of school. Closed campus. Security. I tried. Dammit I tried. Then I got the call from Seifer that you were finally transferring. I'd graduated regular school and attended a private university by then, so I cut class and booked ass over to Deling to help Seifer make sure your dad wouldn't make trouble. My train ran late, and so when we finally got to your place..." Marshal swore. "Seifer went ape-shit--"

"NO." My head snapped up, and I only vaguely recognized the wetness streaming down my cheeks. "You weren't there!" I insisted. "I would remember! I would... remember..." I blinked into Marshal's helpless and pained expression as an odd wetness dripped from my jaw. I didn't understand why I wouldn't remember Marshal. Why had my mind cut him out of my life? Why had he vanished? Disappeared... "Why don't I remember you?" I whispered.

Marshal very slightly shook his head. "Ahndra... I don't know."

I covered my face with my hands. "Dammit, Seifer..." He knew. He knew. "...dammit..." I choked. Marshal surrounded me with his arms, but I pushed him away. "You lie!" I hissed. "How do you forget this?" I gestured harshly to my eye.

"Ahndra, I swear--"

"You did not know me!" Marshal's expression began to change... to harden... but I pushed it. "Why were you not at the hospital? Why did you not visit, like Seifer? No! You were not there!"

Marshal's eyes flashed. "Dammit, Ahndra, I was! That first day I stayed right there. You never once woke up, and it scared the shit out of me! I thought you were going to die, and I couldn't face that. So, yeah, I left and I didn't come back. I figured Seifer would tell me if you made it. He knew how I felt. Only he didn't, the bastard. All these years I thought you were dead. Hell! Maybe that's why I wanted to get to know you better? Because you looked like the kid I knew back then. Even your damn eye was the same!" Marshal leaned close as he pointed roughly into my chest. "But I'll be damned if I let you say I wasn't there. I saw your hell, goddammit, and it twisted me up inside!"

I held his gaze, meeting his glare for glare as the numbness was burned and vanished. Relief flooded, but still I glared. Tension eased and desperation melted away, but still I glared.

Marshal lowered his finger from my chest, but his glare didn't lessen. "I'm sorry for not telling you before. This damned situation has made it damn-near impossible to talk about anything. I guess I should have tried a little harder, but I'll be damned if I knew how to say it. I was still in shock. Mad as hell that Seifer didn't tell me, too. The damned punk. Should've beat the shit out of him years ago."

...holding hands. The expression of concern. The kiss on the cheek... But still I glared.

Marshal threw his hands up into the air. "Fine." He moved to the trap door and made as if to start down. He stopped and met my glare with his. "I was there, Ahndra. Maybe not as much as I wanted to be, but enough to know who you were. Enough to think maybe you and I could work. Believe me or not. I guess it doesn't matt-- Hell. Yes it does. But you're going to do what you're going to do. You always did."

He lowered his head and started down again.

I reached out and held his face in my hands, lifting it so that I could look into those eyes. I had to believe him. I didn't have anything else, and I needed this history. A better one than what my mind had left me. Two friends. Two rescuers. Two sources of strength when I hadn't had any.

"I was there, Ahndra," he said again. "I swear."

I only vaguely noticed my thumbs caressing his face as I held it. I slightly nodded. Marshal. I knew him; I just had to remember. I had to reason why I had forgotten.

Marshal twitched and then chuckled as he set down his coffee mug to free his handheld from his back pocket. "Someone must be mad that I'm enjoying my vacation."

I arched an eyebrow and set down my coffee cup as well. We were at the inn's restaurant hoping to catch sight of either suspicious characters found in Sally's report; or even the man from Marshal's past. In the meantime, Marshal had been telling stories of his past adventures with Seifer, in code of course, in hopes that I would remember him telling me the same during our trip to the Tomb near Deling.

Up to this point, no memories had surfaced.

Marshal accessed the e-mail and chuckled again. "Damn. Here, princess. Check it out."

I retrieved the handheld. 'Bingo. Get on with it and get your ass back to work.' I smirked.

"I guess I should get those pictures taken. Huh? Boss-man sounds pissed, and we've only been here one day."

One day. It seemed a week. I passed the handheld back. Hopefully the information found on those people from Marshal's past would help Trepe and the elder Regal on their undercover mission. Now we had but to finish our original investigation of the surveyor and the landowners.

"So..." Marshal took up his coffee mug and asked, "Which property you like?" at the same time he stroked the inside of my leg with his knee.

A negative/positive of wearing shorts.

My stomach tumbled and twisted, but I forced a calm expression as I also sipped my coffee. My head began to throb... "I don't believe they want to sell to strangers, Blake," I said calmly, pushing his touch away. I crossed my legs.

"Don't be silly, princess," he said, and his knee changed tactics, stroking my outer thigh instead. "Like I said, we've only been here a day. We just have to try a little harder."

My insides tightened and my skin tingled as I fought back the whole-body shiver. My focus slipped from Marshal's face once or twice, but I dragged it back. "Could we talk to the surveyor today?" I crossed my legs the other direction and pushed his knee away with my sandaled foot.

His eyes twinkled. "Sure thing. We just have to find out where he lives."

A waiter approached our table with more coffee and inquiries as to whether we needed anything. Marshal inquired about the surveyor's location the same time I felt his fingers caress the skin of my lower leg and knee. I straightened and sat back, desperately trying to quiet the roar as Marshal sent me a sidelong glance. I didn't meet it.

The waiter gave directions and then left. Marshal focused back on me. "Ahndra..." He looked down to his refilled coffee mug when I didn't look up. "I... uh... I used to tease you... um... before. I guess..." He cleared his throat and sent me a glance. "Sorry."

This time I watched Marshal's expression. I could always tell when his apology went deeper than the initial word. Something shined differently about his face and eyes when he felt more than 'sorry'. Of course, his apology and his explanation didn't soothe the internal reaction to his continual touch. I had grown accustomed to him asking permission... and yet, there had been something more... pleasing? in the unexpected touch. A little 'more' of that newly found drug my body craved so continuously.

I looked down again. A little 'more'... Curiosity and intrigue pushed me forward, and I re-crossed my legs and began lightly caressing Marshal's calf with the top of my foot. My skin tingled as my insides roared. I could feel Marshal's surprised expression, and then he smiled and slightly nudged my foot with his leg. I only continued to stare into my coffee. Yes. It was 'more' while being less--

Marshal stiffened. I looked up to see him staring down into his tightly gripped coffee cup. I again stroked his calf, and he briefly glanced toward the entrance of the inn with a whispered "Dammit."

An eyebrow twitched and I casually glanced-- My face hardened as my temper flared. The man from before had entered the inn and now talked with the clerk at the reception desk. I moved my focus back to Marshal and found that my foot had begun a rhythmic and steady stroke of his leg. I didn't stop. I couldn't.

"Soon," I said in a low tone. And vengence would be sweet, I would see to that. Five years of plotting a never-attained revenge made one quite proficient.

"Hey."

Marshal's grip tightened even more around his coffee mug. My foot momentarily paused the soft and slight stroke of his leg. I resumed as I looked to my left. The man from before stood there with a slight smile on his face.

I forced one. "Hello."

"Did you get to talk to anyone about that property you were looking at?"

I noticed that Marshal forced himself to show interest in the conversation by lifting his gaze from the coffee cup. I shook my head as I replied "No, and Blake and I need to buy as soon as possible. The wedding..."

The man nodded in understanding as his nearly black eyes took in both my unique facial characteristics and Marshal's barely civil expression. I continued to stroke Marshal's leg, and it seemed that he almost pressed his leg against my foot for an enhancement of the action.

"Geez. That's too wierd. I just talked to him this morning and he said he was going to let the reception clerk here know to tell you he would be back in town tomorrow. That way he could talk to you about it."

"Oh. We can wait."

"Well that's good. I'll let him know. Any particular time tomorrow?"

I looked to Marshal. "Before lunch?"

Marshal met my gaze, and I could see his jaw muscle twitching. "That's fine."

Much to my surprise, I felt like reaching out to hold Marshal's hand for extra support and strength. I blinked, noticed Marshal's change in expression to my reaction, and then forced myself to focus on the man beside our table.

"Before lunch would do well."

"Right-O. I'll let you know when I hear from him."

"Thank you."

The man smiled briefly and then turned away. I stared after him with slightly narrowed eyes. Second meeting. Still no introduction with name or identification of position there within Winhill (i.e. farmer, banker, etc). My instincts screamed 'suspicious' with such clarity that I was sure the man could hear it.

He left the inn without a look backward.

I tapped my fingers on the table, giving a blink of surprise when Marshal's hand covered mine. I looked over at him and met his silver-charcoal gaze.

"I owe you."

I arched an eyebrow. "For?"

"For handling everything. It looks like I'm not as good at this as I thought I was."

But I understood how our past horrors affected the performance of our duty. Marshal hadn't had the day to transition himself into the possibility of meeting his sister's murderer. Considering that fact, I felt a muted respect and admiration for how well he had handled things.

I adjusted my hand in his to give him a firm squeeze. "You are."

Marshal held my gaze for a long moment before doing something I had never even imagined. He kissed my palm. A shiver waved down my body from toes to fingertips and back as I stared at him with wide-eyed...

He smiled softly and then caressed the top of my hand with his thumb. "Thanks, Ahndra."

My insides tightened and my skin tingled at the way he said my name. As before. In his arms... I swallowed hard and lowered my eyes with a whispered "You're welcome."

Marshal's smile widened slightly as he again softly nudged my foot still absently stroking his skin. "I guess we should stop wasting time and go find the surveyor... What's his name?"

But I couldn't remember. I couldn't retain anything but his touch and the tingle and the memory of a kiss...

knock-knock-knock

Marshal rubbed at the back of his neck as we stood outside the surveyor's home. It had been quite a jaunt, the property being on the extreme edge of Winhill's boundaries and beyond. That time away from possible listeners had given the two of us a chance to plot an 'avenue of attack' in order to coerce, manipulate the surveyor into giving us the information we needed. Whether it would prove him innocent or suspect didn't matter. I wanted to get this mission done.

"Come on," Marshal muttered. He knocked again. "The last thing we need is to have come all the way out here only to hike all the way back with nothing but a wedgie."

I lowered my head with a slight smirk and adjusted my crossed arms.

"Don't laugh," he said without sending me a glance.

"Too late."

Marshal scoffed, but it sounded like a chuckle. This time he looked my direction. "I'll get you later, you know."

I didn't look up. "Try."

"Oh really. I'll take you up on that challenge, dear. Just you wait."

"Tremble and terror."

Marshal laughed just as the door opened. Marshal faced forward. The surveyor, Timothi Rasmusen, was a somewhat tall and gangly individual with carrot-red hair and green eyes too-large for his face. I frowned and adjusted my crossed arms. He wasn't very pleasant to look at, and his 'persona' immediately rubbed me the wrong way.

Marshal presented a hand. "Hi. I'm Blake Rankin." They shook hands and Mr. Rasmusen, roughly looking to be in his mid-thirties, looked from Marshal to me with a curious expression. "This is my fiancee, Ahndra Taylor."

I did my best impression of a shy smile and briefly and 'timidly' shook his hand. His hold was nothing short of sloppy and made my skin crawl. I pulled my hand away and just kept from rubbing it on my shorts. Instead, I took Marshal's hand and nearly released a breath of relief.

Marshal's smile widened, and he gave my hand a succession of squeezes. "Is it a bad time? We hoped to ask some questions about stuff."

"Oh. Well." He sent a glance over his shoulder as he scrubbed at his scalp.

I immediately filed the reaction and intensely scrutinized his expressions.

"I promise we'll be out of your hair in... say... ten minutes?"

Mr. Rasmusen lowered his hand. "What's it about?"

"Well, Ana and I are looking into buying some property here, for building a house you know, and we hoped to find a local surveyor to scope out the lots and give us some ideas."

"What property?"

I deepened my scrutiny of Mr. Rasmusen as Marshal described the location of the two lots adjacent to the proposed site of the Winhill Garden. Facial tic. Slight discoloration of the face and neck. Brief fisting of the hand not holding the door. Sudden clenching of jaw. I gave Marshal's hand a succession of coded squeezes. He didn't break rhythm of speech.

"Have they said they're going to sell?" Mr. Rasmusen asked calmly enough.

Marshal shook his head and answered my squeezes with a short reply as he answered "No. We're going to be meeting with one of them tomorrow before lunch. Did you want us to wait until after that meeting before asking?"

"I'd recommend it. You see, I don't think they're selling." Mr. Rasmusen sent another look behind his shoulder as well as a narrowed-eyed gaze behind us. "I really believe you folks should look elsewhere. Winhill has a lot of marshland that floods in the spring. It would add extra cost to your building. Young couple like you? Try building outside Balamb."

Marshal smiled and gave a thanking nod. "Thanks for the input. I-- We appreciate it."

"Sure. Have a nice day." He closed the door.

Marshal and I turned and headed back the way we came.

"Damn," Marshal muttered. He sent me a sidelong glance. "I thought that guy would shit bricks. Somebody has him spooked."

I absently nodded as I stared ahead.

"And he tried to persuade us to leave Winhill before talking to the landowner, while the other guy is trying to get us to stay. Everything about this just screams 'Suspicious'."

I very slightly inclined my head.

My skin tingled as Marshal regarded me. "Hey, chicklet. You think you could tell me what you're thinking?"

"Plot."

"Figured that. Details?"

My mind delved deeper, but I gave a brief shake of my head. "Wait."

"Sure thing. I guess we can try and track down the other land... owner...." My skin tingled even more. "Unless you want to get lost and keep thinking things out?"

"Yes," I answered absently.

Surveyor showing signs of terror with a missing wife in an unverifiable location. Same surveyor has reported connection with radicals that have since proved to be fugitives from the law. Presence of possible AWOL Galbadian soldiers/SeeDs responsible for murder, whom also show some type of connection to the present situation in Deling (as reported by Seifer's 'Bingo'). Inability to verify existence of landowners other than unverifiable photos on file with Winhill City Hall.

I arched an eyebrow. Winhill was located between Trabia and Deling Gardens. Neutral ground for outside influences to meet and make necessary purchases. Empty lots provide suitable secrecy and room for weapons sales and delivery within the evening hours. Winhill's location provides suitable distance from military security personnel...

I looked over at Marshal and vaguely noticed an odd smile on his face as he watched me. "Handheld."

"Sure." He released my hand and retrieved the requested item from his back pocket. He handed it over with a continued smile.

I accessed the secure e-mail account and typed in the appropriate passwords to activate the satellite link.

'Surveyor showing signs of outside manipulation in order to sway expertise. Recommend immediate search and possible rescue of wife from facility near or around Esthar as per Regal's report. Meeting with one of two landowners is arranged. Have suspicion one if not both landowners are ficticious and will in actuality be additional accomplices responsible for Katie Beita's murder. No proof if cover still intact.'

I scrambled the message and sent it. Then I handed the handheld back.

Marshal accepted it. He smiled wide. "Starting to get interesting, huh?"

Interesting? I smirked and turned to walk again toward Winhill. I wouldn't have come if I had suspected otherwise.

"So..." Marshal sent me a sidelong glance. "Now what?"

I checked my watch. "Lunch."

"Can we fool around in the tree-fort?"

My chest tightened as I stopped and sent him a look complete with arched eyebrow and crossed arms. "What?" I hadn't heard a more agreeable suggestion.

Marshal grinned. "Please?"

Every part of me screamed Hell yes!, but I turned and continued walking toward town without comment.

"Oh come on. I haven't had a chance to play in a tree-fort since I was a kid. And it'd be a great place for me to take pictures of Winhill. For my cover." Marshal gestured to me. "And you could take notes, or whatever, for the meeting with the landowner tomorrow."

Disappointment shouldn't have felt quite so... "Perhaps."

Marshal made a slight but noticeable exultant gesture with a fisted hand before drawing me close with an arm around my shoulders. I nearly stumbled at the sudden feeling of welcome warmth and the tingle-- ...oh god...

"We, Seifer and I, plotted and planned to build a tree-fort a couple months after we met. It never happened, though. Damn shame. But he still held the rank of junior classman back then and only came to Deling City with his class for lectures and shit at the Caraway Mansion." Marshal chuckled. "His classes always sounded a helluva lot better than mine. I don't understand why he bitched all the time. I mean, damn, he learns how to beat the hell out of someone and I'm learning math and literature. 'Course, I'm two years older. I guess I had the harder classes before he did."

A memory tingled.... "Tree fort," I repeated absently.

Marshal regarded my profile. "You remember something?"

"Fort..." I looked over at Marshal. "You mentioned a fort on the trip to the Tomb."

Marshal smiled. "You're right. Seifer and I were 'remember when'ing at you." He gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Cool. You remembered. Of course, you thought the idea of a tree-fort was pretty spectacular. Don't get why." Marshal watched my face as I looked again down the road. "Maybe because you wanted to get away from the bastard."

I kept my mind silent.

"We tried to use that as a bribe to get you to move away. You remember?"

My mind delved... "No."

"Oh well. Hey." Another squeeze, longer this time. "At least you remembered something."

And that was so painfully true. Finding puzzle pieces lost for years was more difficult than anything I'd had to do before. Especially when I didn't know what they looked like.

"Don't try too hard," Marshal said quietly. "The pieces never fit when we force them."

I absently nodded. I had to be taught to kiss and touch without force. Did I know how to do anything softly? I fisted my hand-- I felt a touch on my right cheek and looked sharply over at Marshal.

He smiled. "Relax. It'll come."

I held his gaze a moment before looking away. One of the pieces had to be the right 'reason'.

I stared out the window of the tree-fort to the city below, watching in disinterest as the people began preparing for sleep and slumber. Quiet discussions of plans for the next morning. Dinner invitations. Future plans, I had watched it all before, in Deling, but this was somehow different. I didn't understand why. Maybe because my father wasn't paired with any part of it.

The breeze rustled the sheaf of papers in my hand. I looked down. Marshal and I had spent most of the day in the tree-fort working on the mission, posing questions and situation possibilities. We had only come down for lunch and then immediately returned. Working out more possibilities. More questions. More options of action...

I frowned at the papers. Notes. Reasoning. Questions. Plans. Everything cold and controlled... I set them roughly away and looked again to town below. When I heard a click, I focused to my right to see Marshal previewing a picture.

He pushed a few buttons. "I'm keeping this one," he said. "Damn."

I looked again outside as Marshal came to lean against the wall to the right of the window. He took up the papers and nodded in approval. "I'm glad you're on my side."

Sides. What side had I ever been on but my own? Wasn't I still? The only reason I kept on with this assignment was because it would affect my career, my standing with Garden, and my relationship with Seifer. I wasn't on a 'side' of anyone. I didn't even have an idea of how to change that.

Marshal handed the papers back. I took them without altering my view.

"Ahndra."

Curiosity at the tone made me face him.

He slightly smiled and adjusted his position against the wall of the tree-fort. "Ahndra, you think we could get together after this is all over? You know. Go to the movies. Dinner. Like that."

Continue showing a weakness and a thirst for something I hadn't had? Continue letting him see who I was while knowing I wasn't who he remembered? I looked away. Bittersweet terror.

"I could bring over the letters we wrote back and forth. Maybe it'll help."

I faced him again. "Letters?"

"Sure. You don't think I got hooked on you after one trek to the Tomb, do you? Hell no. We wrote letters back and forth for, god, like 6 months or something before we even met in person. I sent them to your school same as Seifer did. Then we kept on after that."

The kiss on the cheek. The holding of hands... I examined Marshal's face. Why don't I remember? It didn't make sense that I would cut his face out of my dreams if he and I had been close.

Marshal released a heavy breath as he moved to sit beside me on the box by the window. He rested a hand on my knee. "Ahndra, don't sweat it. There's got to be a reason you don't remember. We'll just talk to the psychiatrist we've got on staff. Squall said they really know their stuff. Helped him make sense out of a lot of shit. That's why he made everyone's ass sit in that chair; even Seifer."

And I remembered the few weeks I had to sit across from the older man with the balding head and the understanding eyes who... listened. I hadn't said much, I never said much, but that hadn't stopped the doctor from knowing something was soon going to snap. He told me that one day the anger and rage would push and, if I didn't control it, I would become no better than that person I hated. If I controlled it, I would do something I had wanted to do for years. And hadn't I?

Maybe the doctor's words had given me the permission to do it.

Marshal's thumb lightly caressed the skin of my knee. I stared down at it. Not thinking anything. Not able to... and yet... I looked up again, meeting Marshal's silver eyes. What was I supposed to think? I still didn't know what I was expected to do. And the feeling of complete freedom of choice proved to be more of a terror than the intense need for a completion of his touch.

What if I chose wrong?

Was there a 'wrong'?

'I'd be doing it for the wrong reason... I'm not going to take advantage of you. ...I won't take what you don't want to give me--' I arched an eyebrow and slightly lowered my gaze to focus within. I wanted a different memory, and it hadn't mattered whose face was within it as long as it wasn't my father's. I would have taken the memory and the face from Seifer if his touch hadn't been as rough as that which my father had given. But...

'I won't take what you don't want to give me.'

I again met Marshal's silver scrutiny and the look that saw deeper. '...me...'

Marshal cleared his throat and pulled his hand from my knee as he looked away and stood. "I think we better get down and go to be-- Go to sleep. We don't know what to expect tomorrow, so it'd be good to be wide awake." Marshal went to stand by the ladder down and stared at it with a fist on his hip as he scrubbed at his scalp and neck. "Ladies first," he mumbled.

I stood and stepped toward him, noticing his brief glances and the slight tensing of his body. I continued forward, backing him against the far wall of the tree-fort. Marshal stared down at me with a somewhat... terrified expression as he pressed himself against it.

I clenched the front of his denim shirt and pulled him toward me until our chests touched. His heart beat faster, echoing mine. "Is the 'right reason' a desire to have the completion from one specific person?"

Marshal swallowed hard. "Oh yeah," he whispered roughly.

I held his gaze, my own expression firming with determination. "I will remember you."

Marshal took hold of my upper arms and drew me closer as his mouth covered mine, drawing out that part of me I had so tenaciously protected. And then his touch gentled, coaxing a memory of a kiss I had wanted but never had. A young girl's romantic dream...

My arms slipped up and around his neck, pulling him closer, me closer, the touch closer so that I could remember. I could have it. I could protect it from what I didn't know. I had lost so many things. I couldn't lose this... Marshal pulled his mouth from mine very slowly. Then he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me so close I couldn't tell where he stopped and I began.

He touched his lips to my neck and throat. "Damn..." And then he was gently pushing me back. "Ahndra, I need you to do me a favor."

I said nothing. I only watched him.

"When we get back to our room, I'm going to change and then go for a jog."

I slowly nodded. We had discussed this as a tactic/ploy to look around the area for the possible location of the arms sales and/or the hideouts of the radicals responsible.

"I need you to stay and go to sleep."

I blinked and then arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'll give you a report when you wake up in the morning. I swear."

"I should go with you."

Marshal shook his head. "No. You shouldn't. Maybe tomorrow."

"Why?"

Marshal smiled. "Because all I'd be doing is looking for the best place to pick up where we left off."

I blinked again. Then I smirked as I crossed my arms. He still held my upper arms. "Problem?"

Marshal regarded me with that same... He pulled me slightly closer. "Big problem," and I could feel his lips tickle mine.

My throat tightened, but I was surprisingly able to ask "Being?" with an amount of believability that I cared about the answer.

Marshal lightly caressed my lips "Work..." and again "Seifer..." and a little firmer...

Dammit, Seifer. I accepted the kiss, returning it with more pressure and persuasion and then pulling away and then returning, torn between work and my mission and what felt so damn good...

...a fountain near an unlit room within the ruins of a king's Tomb. A young woman and a young man sit side-by-side, dangling their feet into the cool water while smiling and laughing as they splash each other. Hands held and safety shared along with the stories of each of their pasts. The young man has silver eyes and spiked black hair. The young woman has bright eyes despite the horror of her young life and brunette hair with streaks of gray. When the young man watches her he sees the brightness and not the horror. He sees a possible future and not an ugly past.

"Ahndra, can I kiss you?"

The young woman flushes and sends him a sidelong glance. "Okay," she whispers. She likes this boy. This young man who makes her feel safe.

He moves a little closer, cautiously leaning toward her as she leans toward him. Trusting. Expecting. Waiting... His lips touch hers, so softly it tickles. The young woman giggles and pulls back, shyly smiling up at the young man...

"Ahndra? What's the matter?"

I blinked and the vision vanished, but the eyes were the same. The face was the same, albeit a little older.

"Ahndra?"

I stepped a little back and shook my head as I turned. "Fine." I remembered. The feeling. That first kiss. Walking home hand-in-hand... I started down the ladder. "Fine," I whispered.

I liked that boy.

*

Chapter Twelve / Chapter Fourteen