Yuffie the Vampire Slayer

By Luke Taylor

Author's note: Well, here's my second Fanfic. (Okay, third, but the Nativity one doesn't really count) I've been thinking about doing this for a loooong time, but I never thought I'd actually get around to writing it. However, the idea of having my favourite character from FFVII combined with my favourite TV show was just to much of a lure to resist. Plus the title just begged to be written, didn't it?


It was three A.M, and the shop was silent, as you would expect for that time in the morning. A thin beam of light from the almost-full moon shone through the old wooden shutters on the window and onto the row of small orbs in a glass case. They glistened in the pale light, their colours a muted shade of their normal vibrant hues. The glistening abruptly stopped as a shadow passed between the light and the orbs. A ninja-shaped shadow.

Yuffie Kisaragi, materia hunter par excellence had only seconds previously dropped down from the roof of the materia shop in Rocket Town, and now she was casting a loving gaze over the materia in the glass case. A dreamy look passed over her face. Even if there had been anybody there to spot it, it would have been too dark to see as she shook the look from her face and reached into her pocket. She pulled out some glass cutters, and with a grin on her face, set to work on removing the transparent barrier between her and the things she cherished the most.

The glass put up no resistance to the diamond-tipped cutters, and Yuffie was soon reaching into the case and scooping out the materia. She couldn't help giggling like a child as she dropped the materia one by one into a little sack. She was just about to out the last ball into the bag (Command, she thought to herself), when the wind picked up outside and slammed the branch of a tree outside into the shop window. Yuffie let out a gasp and the materia slipped from her hand, hit the dusty shop floor and rolled under the display case.

"Oh, Gawd..." She whispered to herself as she rooted around under the case. Her hand moved through dust, grime and other even less savoury-feeling things until her hand closed around the little yellow orb. She heard the floorboards creak behind her, the she felt and sharp jab in the back.

"Well, looky what we got here!" Said the owner of a deep male voice. "Gerrup!" The man ordered, and Yuffie complied, rolling her eyes as she stood up. She slipped the materia into her pocket and turned to face the man.

Yuffie recognised the man straight away the owner of the materia shop. He looked quite nasty in the darkened shop, with his huge red beard and scars across most of his face, and the fact that he was holding a sword at Yuffie's throat really capped the whole effect off. At least, he was fearsome from the neck up. Yuffie's eyes flicked down from the man's face to see what he was wearing, and she grinned when she saw that he was wearing a blue and white striped nightie. As her eyes travelled further down to his feet, she saw that he was wearing fluffy pink slippers with fake Moogle heads on them. Yuffie looked at the slippers for a moment, her eyebrows raised, then she burst into laughter.

The shopkeeper to a step back, taking the point of the sword away from Yuffie's neck.

"What's so funny, ya little brat?!" He demanded. Yuffie was still laughing furiously.

"Hey, old timer," She said, wiping away a tear of laughter. "I think you've got your wife's slippers on!" This sent her into another burst of laughter, and the man looked down at his feet. Yuffie noticed that the shopkeeper was preoccupied, and seized the opportunity by sweeping his legs out from under him with a low kick. The big man toppled like a tree, hitting his jaw hard on the floor as he went down. He was unconscious before be bounced, and Yuffie began scrambling up the rope to the hole in the ceiling where she had gotten in. She took one last look at the Moogle slippers, chuckled to herself, then climbed out into the night air.


Yuffie lay back on the wing of the Tiny Bronco mark two and rolled a green Ice materia around in her hand. She held it up to the bright spring sun, watching the rays of light glimmer on its smooth surface and let out a sigh. It had been two years since they had defeated Sephiroth, and nothing much had happened since. Yuffie had spent most of the last year travelling around with the other members of the group, watching as they tried to get some normality back in their world. Cloud and Tifa were shacked up together in the Icicle Inn (Which they now owned,) and Tifa was expecting their first kid in a few months. Barret had rebuilt North Corel practically single-handedly, and he was living up there with Marlene now. Cait Sith was milking the celebrity status for all he could in Midgar. Vincent... No-one knew exactly where Vincent was, but Yuffie had a pretty good idea that he was in Nibelheim. Although there had been rumours about a man matching his description selling googly-eyed seashells and other tacky souvenirs on the beach at the Costa del Sol. Red was running Cosmo Canyon, and Cid had gotten married to Shera, and he lived with her in Rocket Town now. Yuffie was staying with Cid too, for the time being at least. And boy, was it booor-ing. Not even stealing materia was giving her the same buzz that it used to. She heard the back door of Cid's house open, and she quickly shoved the Ice materia into her pocket.

Cid loped into the back yard, a dog-end hanging from his mouth and three days worth of stubble on his chin. He saw Yuffie sitting on the edge of the little planes wing and a look of anger crossed his face.

"How many times to I hafta tell ya, the Tiny Bronco ain't for *$#@#@* sitting on!" He shouted. Miraculously, the cigarette stayed in his mouth. Yuffie hopped down from the wing indignantly.

"Geez, calm down, will ya?" Said Yuffie, and she started walking towards the house.

" I heard the materia shop got burgled last night..." Said Cid as she walked past him.

"Really?" Said Yuffie in mock surprise. "I wonder who could have possibly done a terrible thing like that?" She flashed Cid a smile that was pure innocence and Cid grinned back.

"Yeah, I wonder..." Said Cid, still grinning.

"Yeah, what is the world coming to these days?" Said Yuffie. "Anyway, there something I've gotta tell you, Cid."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup, I'm going back to Wutai today. It's like Slowsville around here. I think it's all the old folks." Yuffie said, nudging Cid in the ribs.

"Finally, some good news," Said Cid, smiling. "About @#$*&@# time!"

"Humph! Anyway, I was wondering if I could borrow a Chocobo. You know I get sick riding anything else."

"Yeah, sure. I've got plenty of Chocobos. Take whatever you want." Said Cid, gesturing to the newly built Chocobo stables behind his house. Cid was right, he certainly did have a lot of Chocobos. It's strange, thought Yuffie, I've never actually seen him ride one of his Chocobos...

"Thanks, gramps! Tell Shera goodbye from me. Have fun without me!" Shouted Yuffie. She was already running to the stable. She grabbed a saddle from the wall, slung it onto the nearest gold Chocobo, clambered onto the Chocobo's back and ran out of the stables.


Yuffie arrived at Wutai a few days later, just as the sun was setting behind the pagoda at the far end of the town. Yuffie mumbled something under her breath about the state of public footpaths these days and wandered through the gate into the town. It was a lot bigger than the last time she had been here, and she smiled because she knew it was down to her. After they had defeated Sephiroth, Yuffie had donated most of the materia she had "acquired" to the people of Wutai. This combined with her celebrity status had given the town a massive materia and tourism industry (Godo was running tours around Yuffie's bedroom in his spare time). Wutai was now well on it's way back to its former glory, and Yuffie had accomplished what she had become a materia hunter to do. Okay, so she liked stealing materia too, but it was all in a good cause. Honest.

She ambled between the new and old buildings. She checked to see if the Turtle's Paradise was still open, but all she could see was the building itself and a banner saying "Under New Management!!!". Yuffie considered going for a drink, now that she was legal drinking age, but thought against it and pressed on towards the pagoda at the far end of town. She looked up at the moon and saw that it was full, and a strange red colour. She stared at it for a while, and the hairs on the back of her neck started to stand on end. She shivered, pulling her gaze away from the moon, and quickened the pace of her walk. She started to sing under her breath as she crossed the main square of the town.

"Estuans interius, ira vehementi..." She whispered as approached the large willow tree in the very centre of the town. Something rustled in the branches above her.

"Sors immanis, et inanis..." She was directly under the tree now, and the rustling continued.

"Veni, veni, venias, ne me mo..." Suddenly the rustling increased in volume and Yuffie jerked her head up towards the branches of the tree. The rustling stopped, then a man-shaped figure dived from the branches, knocking Yuffie to the ground. She let out an "Urk!" of surprise and pushed the creature off. She sprang to her feet, and the creature did too. It appeared human, but its face was contorted into a hideous bestial mask, and its teeth were huge fangs. Fresh blood was spattered on the front of its shirt.

"GR-OSS!" Shouted Yuffie as she stepped back, raising the Conformer. The creature dived for her throat, snarling. Yuffie ducked out of the way and kicked the thing on it's backside as it swung past, knocking it to the floor.

"That's what you get for messing with Yuffie Kisaragi! Nyuk, nyuk!" She shadow boxed briefly, relishing her triumph, until the monster sprung back up. It knocked her over and pinned her down. It's head closed in on her neck, it's mouth open wide to bite her neck. Yuffie opened her mouth to scream. She got about as far as "Aaa..." when the creature suddenly turned to dust and then exploded. Yuffie shook her head and sat up, spitting dust out of her mouth. After a minute or two of coughing and spluttering, she noticed a man stood in front of her.

"Not again!" She shouted, raising the Conformer once again, expecting another attack upon her neck. She was rather surprised when the man decided to talk to her.


"Are you all right?" Asked the man, in an English accent. Yuffie dusted herself off and considered the question.

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks, I guess" she said. She looked at the man properly for the first time. He looked like he was in his mid forties, with a receding hairline, a pair of wire rimmed spectacles perched on the end of his nose, a stick in one hand and a large bundle of books under the other arm. He was wearing tweed from head to toe, and Yuffie expected him to either offer her a cup of tea or try and give her some library tickets. He also smelled vaguely of coffee.

"Quite all right." He extended a hand for her to shake, after putting the stick in his teeth. Yuffie shook it vigorously.

"Ollw mm t intfrduf mmsff..." Said the man, around the stick.

"Pardon?" Said Yuffie. The man took the stick out of his mouth and started again.

"Allow me to introduce myself." He said, audibly this time. "My name is Gilles."

"Gilles?" Asked Yuffie

"Yes. Why, is there something wrong?"

Yuffie shook her head. "No, it's nothing. By the way, the name's Kisaragi. Yuffie Kisaragi."

"The Yuffie Kisaragi?"

"The one and only! Saviour of the world as you know it!"

"Quite." Said Gilles, obviously unimpressed by Yuffie's exaggeration. "Well, If you'll excuse me, I must be going."

"Hey, wait! What was that thing?" Gilles ignored her and began to walk away. Yuffie continued anyway. "I mean, Gawd, I just come back home for a while, exactly a week after my 18th birthday, on the night of a full moon, because I'm bored and I want to remind my dad that he forgot my birthday, and what happens? I get attacked by some weird monster..."

Gilles span on his heel to face her.

"I mean, all I wanted was a nice peaceful week or..." She noticed that Gilles was staring at her. "What?" She demanded.

"What did you just say?" Asked Gilles, whilst frantically leafing through one of his books.

"I said, "All I wanted was a nice peaceful week..." "

"No, no, before that."

Yuffie sighed. "I said that I came home 'cause I was bored and it's the full moon and it's a week after my 18th birthday."

Gilles looked a bit more excited upon hearing this. "Let me guess," he said. "Your favourite colour is green, your favourite play is "Loveless" and you are currently wearing..." Gilles looked embarrassed. "...ahem, white undergarments with pink frills on them." By now, Gilles was blushing furiously.

"How the Hell did you know that!?" screamed Yuffie, her face turning crimson.

"It is written in the prophecy! That must mean that you are the Chosen One!" Gilles was quivering in excitement by now. Yuffie just looked puzzled.

"Exsqueeze me?"

"The prophecy of the Chosen One! Look, it's written in here." He threw a large book down on the floor. It was covered in red leather, and on the front the word "VAMPYR" was written in large gold foil letters.

"I wouldn't trust anything that is in that book." Said Yuffie. "Look, they even spelled the title wrong."

"Pardon?" Said Gilles. He was flipping through the pages, trying to locate a certain passage. Yuffie repeated herself. "I said the title is spelled wrong. V.A.M.P.I.R.E. That's how you spell it., Gawd, even I know that!"

Gilles gave her a look indicating that he was not amused. "It's an old book." He said. Yuffie shut up.

"Ah, here it is." He began reading from the book. "In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of Darkness. She is the Slayer." A wolf howled in the distance.

"Come again?" Said Yuffie. Gilles continued reading.

"The Slayer will return to her birthplace on the first full moon after her 18th birthday. She is bored, and she needs a break. Her favourite colour is green, her favourite play is "Loveless" and she will be wearing white underwear with pink frills."

"It really says all that?" Asked Yuffie.

"Yes. And that must mean that you are this generation's Slayer."

"So, you're trying to tell me that that thing..." She pointed to the spot where the vampire was killed. "...was a vampire?"


"Oookaaay..." Said Yuffie, stepping back from Gilles. "I'll just be... leaving. I'm going home... for sleep... yes..."

"Wait! You can't leave, it's your duty to protect people from the vampires! You must stop whoever is wielding the Dracula materia and spawning these foul abominations!" Protested Gilles.

"Did you say... Materia?"

"Yes, the Dracula materia! It can be used to turn people into vampires! You must help me!" "Re-he-heallllllyy" said Yuffie, doing a very good Ace Ventura impression. Especially considering she had never even heard of him, let alone seen his films. "Okay, I'll help you. So whadda we do now?"


They had gone back to Gilles' little apartment on the outskirts of Wutai to discuss their plans. Several people had recognised her on the way, and a few of them had thrown flowers and underwear at her, the usual things, but one of them had thrown her some materia. Even though she already had 52 master level Restores at home, she couldn't resist the temptation to pick it up. That guy certainly knows the way to a materia thief's heart, she thought to herself as they neared Gilles' block. And it ain't through her stomach.

Gilles' apartment was exactly as she'd expected it. Small, dank, poky, gloomy, decrepit, shambolic and full of weird crap. Yuffie smiled to herself at her extended vocabulary and started to check out some of the aforementioned "weird crap" while Gilles made them some tea. The walls were covered in masks and other artefacts, but the middle of the room was dominated by a large set of shelves overflowing with occult icons, amulets, small animals in jars of formaldehyde, an Orb of Thesula, a rocket launcher, a pencil with dust on the end, a seashell with googly eyes stuck on it, brown paper packages tied up with string. "These are a few of my favourite things." Said Gilles from just over her shoulder.

"You're pretty weird really, aren't you?" Said Yuffie cheerfully. She threw herself down in a big armchair and sank back into the cushions.

"Quite." Said Gilles. He put the tea tray down and began pouring the tea out. "How many sugars?" He asked.

"Six, please." replied Yuffie


Yuffie looked hurt. "I'm a growing woman!"

"Six it is then"

They drank their tea in a civilised manner, despite Yuffie raising her pinkie exaggeratedly every time she raised her cup. Actually, that combined with the slurping noises and the fact that she dropped her hobnob in the tea made sure it was not really that civilised at all. Once they had finished the tea, they sat down to figure out what to do about the vampires.

"So," said Yuffie, "When did all this start?"

"About a week ago, a body was found drained of blood near the pagoda. As soon as I heard, I began investigating the area. The next day, two more bodies turned up in the same condition. All three had bite marks on their necks." Said Gilles

"So you thought vampires. I thought that vampires were just kids stories. I'm not sure I believe in vampires, Gawd."

"You fought against a man who summoned a meteor to destroy the planet, who then turned into a monster which could summon another meteor that destroyed half of the solar system, which you defeated, and then the souls of all the dead people in the Lifestream saved the planet by stopping the meteor, and you find the idea of vampires hard to believe?"

Yuffie considered this for a moment. "Good point. So why are the vampires here?"

"I believe that somebody has released the Dracula materia from it's vault in the temple of Dhes Joosow and is using it to create an army of vampire slaves to do his foul and evil bidding." He paused. "Either that, or we're sitting on top of something called The Hellmouth"

"I think it's probably the materia, because if we were on a Hellmouth, surely it would be pouring out monsters and we would keep getting into random fights every couple of seconds while running around in the countryside." Yuffie looked puzzled for a second, but she quickly shook it off. "Anyway, what was that about me being the chosen one?" She asked.

"Don't make me do the speech again." Said Gilles. "All you need to know is that it is your destiny to fight vampires."

"Finally! Something interesting to do!" She stood up and shadowboxed for a while. "So I just gotta find these vamps and kill them all, right?"

"Yes," said Gilles "but you must also find out where the head vampire is. Only by killing him can you stop the curse of the vampires."

"Easy! I'm a ninja, ya know? I'll just catch a vampire and force him to tell me where the boss is. We just need to figure out where they strike next, and ambush 'em!"

Gilles pushed his glasses up his nose. "It'll be somewhere with a lot of people. Virgins, preferably."

"Preferably for you or the vampires?" Said Yuffie, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"This is serious!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh. Just trying to lighten the mood." She stroked her chin. "Somewhere with a lot of people, eh? How about the Turtle's Paradise? There's usually a lot of kids in there. Although we'd better get there pretty early in the evening if we want to find some virgins there..."

"The Turtle's Paradise?" Asked Gilles

"The pub on the edge of town. Gawd, you don't get out much, do you?"

"You mean The Brass?"

Yuffie remembered the "Under New Management!!" sign that she had seen hanging outside the pub. "Err, yeah, I guess so. Anyway, I bet that'd be a good place to start."

Gilles looked at his watch. "It's nearly sunrise now. We should rest for the day, and we'll go to The Brass tomorrow night. You can use my room for the night, I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Okey-dokey." Said Yuffie "G'night!" She walked to the bedroom. Gilles sat down in the armchair and poured himself another cup of tea.


Yuffie padded over to the fridge in her nightie and opened the door. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she rooted around looking for something to eat, and she was rather disappointed to find that there was nothing decent. Only milk, butter, eggs and all the other usual stuff were lurking in there. She sighed, pulled out a couple of rashers of bacon from the back of the fridge and proceeded to make herself a bacon sandwich.

While the bacon was on the grill, she looked around Gilles' apartment a little more closely that the previous night. The first thing she saw was that she had slept for about 12 hours, and it was now 7 P.M. It'll be sunset soon, she thought to herself. The second thing she noticed was that Gilles wasn't in the house. He's out buying supplies or something, she assumed. The third thing she noticed was that there was no materia in the house at all. She thought she'd seen some on his desk, but it turned out to be a rather cheap-looking paperweight with the letters "V.A.S." carved on the bottom. The fourth thing she noticed was that there was black smoke coming from the grill, or the bacon to be more precise. She ran over to the cooker, yanked the bacon out, waved it around a bit to cool it down, then she bit it. It crumbled into soot the moment her teeth made contact with it, and she decided to give up on breakfast for the day, and go and get dressed instead. She headed back to the bedroom.

Just as she'd finished getting dressed and stepped out of the bedroom, the front door opened and Gilles walked in.

"Oh. You're up, I see." He said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Yup. Ready and raring to go!" Yuffie replied. And she wasn't kidding. She'd gone the whole distance in getting ready for a night out, complete with makeup and self-inflicted and very unprofessional manicure.

"Are you sure that you needed to get quite that ready?" Asked Gilles

Yuffie looked down at herself and shrugged. "I just had this sudden urge to get... pretty."

"Quite." Said Gilles. "Shall we depart?"

"I'm way ahead of you!" Shouted Yuffie, and she ran out of the door and off towards The Brass.

The new manager of the former-Turtle's Paradise hadn't wasted any time in making changes. The building now looked completely different, the rustic splendour of before was replaced with cast iron walkways , a dancefloor and sofas replacing the stools from before. Above the door was a backlit sign proclaiming that the pub was indeed called The Brass.

Yuffie walked in and looked around. The place was packed full of good looking people. In fact, Yuffie realised as she looked around some more, there was not a single ugly person in building. I'll fit right in then, she thought to herself. An even further inspection of the crowd revealed that there was no trouble around, and certainly no vampires. Yuffie looked for a clock, found one, and saw that it was only 8:17. Plenty of time for some trouble to show up, she thought. Might as well have a drink to pass the time. She looked back and saw Gilles standing near the door, glancing around nervously. He spotted her looking at him, and she gave him a thumbs up and hopped down the stairs to the bar.


"I'll have a beer, please." Yuffie told the bartender.

"Whatever you say." He flashed her a perfect smile and pulled a bottle from the fridge. He slid it along the bar to her, and she slid a few Gil along the bar towards him. "Keep the change." She said, and turned her back to the bar so she could see what was going on in The Brass.

The bar looked just like any other bar. People were dancing, people were making out, the usual. There was a large group of slightly younger kids huddled around one table in the corner, talking furiously in low voices and passing something between themselves. They looked like cards of some sort, and it looked like some of the kids were linked by some kind of thin black cable. Oh well, thought Yuffie, it's nothing to do with vampires. She took a swig from the bottle just as a girl about her age walked over to her. She was about Yuffie's height, with shoulder length auburn hair and hazel eyes. She was wearing a very fuzzy sweater and jeans, and like everyone else in the bar, she was rather attractive.

"Hi!" She said "My name's Ash." She gave Yuffie a smile that was 100% pure cheerful. "You're Yuffie Kisaragi, right? Wow! It's a pleasure..."

"Hey, slow down!" Interrupted Yuffie. She extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Ash." Ash grabbed her hand and shook it furiously.

"Wow! What're you doing in Sunnyda, um, sunny Wutai?" Ash asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Replied Yuffie.

"You mean you're a slayer?"

"I...I... Don't know what you're talking about." Yuffie began to panic.

"Oh, don't worry, we know about the whole vampire-slayer thing going on." Ash explained


"Oh, there's some other guys who know too. Hang on, I'll go fetch them." Ash walked off to the other side of the room, across the dancefloor. Yuffie drained the rest of the bottle, looked up and saw Ash dragging a boy and a girl over to her. Oh well, thought Yuffie, least I'm not alone in all this. By now the group had reached her.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Yuffie Kisaragi, the latest slayer!" Said Ash.

"Hi there!" Said the boy. He was taller than the three of them, and his gelled black hair reflected the light from the lights above them. Yuffie just managed to resist laughing at his atrocious shirt. "I'm Alex. Pleased to meetcha." He continued.

"Hey." Said Yuffie. By the way Alex was staring at her, or more accurately staring at her cleavage, Yuffie could tell that his hormones were in overdrive. Oh Gawd, she thought, now I've got loverboy here all excited. I knew I should have worn something less revealing. Although he is pretty cute. Mind you, everyone in here is. She pushed the thought from her mind and looked at the other girl, who was concentrating on putting her makeup on.

"And you are...?" Asked Yuffie.

"Whatever" Exclaimed the girl. She clicked her compact shut and looked Yuffie in the face. "Does my hair look okay?"

"Umm, yeah, it looks fine.." Replied Yuffie. Actually, the girl's long, dark brown was a bit of a mess, but Yuffie thought it best not to offend the locals. And yes, she was attractive. It was like the gene pool around here had a very good filter, or something.

"Uuug! Only fine?" She pulled a hairbrush from her pocket and began combing. "My name's, like, Regan."

"Hello." Said Yuffie. She had only known Regan around a minute, but her vacuous self-centredness and her immensely annoying Valley Girl accent was really, really annoying Yuffie. Alex put his arm around Regan's shoulder and pulled her up to him. "You look great, hon." He said. They're a couple!? Thought Yuffie. Man, if my boyfriend looked at another girl like that, I'd kick his ass...

"So, why're you here?" Asked Alex. "Expecting a big vampire scare-up-alooza or something?"

"Yeah. I reckon some vamps are gonna be in party mood tonight, and this is the buffet."

"Buffy!?" Squeaked Ash. She quickly clamped her hands over her mouth as the others glared at her. Yuffie didn't notice.

"No, I said buffet." Yuffie said. Talking about food made her remember she hadn't had any breakfast, and her stomach growled. Before she could do anything about it, Regan jumped into the conversation.

"So, like, when are these icky things gonna show? I totally don't want to be here when they arrive."

" I don't know." said Yuffie, truthfully. "It could be any minute now..."

And then, in true Hollywood fashion, the windows shattered.


Glass rained down on the dancefloor, jagged raindrops from a crystalline cloud. Moonlight streamed in, followed by around ten vampires. One of them, larger than the rest, somersaulted from the railing on the walkway that ran around the room and onto the bar, down at the other end from Yuffie. The people in the bar let out a unified scream and all ran for the door, fighting and clambering over each other to get out. Just as the first person was about to reach the door, three vampires dropped in front of them, blocking their escaped. A small, skinny vamp grabbed a young girl and bit into her neck like it was an apple, draining the life out of her. The crowd took one look at this, turned and fled to the other end of the bar. The vampire on the bar took his opportunity to make his presence felt. He pulled on the shelf behind the bar, ripping it from the bolts that fastened it to the floor, and lifted it over his head. The tendons in his arms stuck out like mountain ranges, and the veins in his head throbbed. He slung the huge shelves in front of the stampeding crowd, stopping them dead in their tracks. The terrified mob turned and looked at the monster.

"Prepare for Trouble!" The thing roared, and the crowd screamed. The group of younger looking kids, who had been completely oblivious to all around them so far, suddenly fell to a complete silence. Like one being, they whipped their heads round to look at the vampire on the bar. They looked like they were about to say something, but Yuffie got there first.

"Prepare for trouble?" She shouted. The young crowd looked like they were about to explode. "It looks like the trouble already started. Or didn't you notice?" The bar became silent, all eyes fixed on Yuffie and the head vampire. If we're talking metaphors here, you could have heard a pin drop.

The vampire on the bar fixed his bloodshot eyes on her, obviously not pleased. "Insolent WORM!" He roared. Yuffie winced at the onslaught of noise and halitosis. He looked across to a few of his vampire henchmen who were blocking one exit, and he thrust his gloved finger towards her. "Destroy her!" He commanded, and the vampires obeyed. Three of them launched themselves at her from across the room, unblocking the exit in the process. Hundreds of screaming teens piled out of the fire escape and into the night air, but before Yuffie could make sure that they were all safe, the vampires were on top of her.

Yuffie backflipped over the bar, landing perfectly on her feet. Two of the vampires jumped up onto the bar, and she flung the Conformer at ankle height along the bar. The two vampires were knocked onto their backs, clutching at the bottom of their legs. The Conformer rebounded off the far wall and landed back in here hand.

"Stake them!!" A voice screamed. Yuffie looked up to see Gilles being swept out of the door with the rest of the crowd. "In the heart!" He shouted, and then he was out of sight. Before Yuffie had the chance to do as he told, a vampire launched itself at her, clotheslining her and knocking her onto her back, the Conformer flying out of her hand. The vampire picked her up and threw her back over the bar and into a table. Wood splintered and shattered flying everywhere. Yuffie scrabbled around on the floor, looking for a weapon. Her hand closed around a table leg which had broken into a sharp point, and she held it out in front of her as the vampire flew over the bar at her. She thrust it forward, and more by luck than judgement she stabbed the vampire straight in the heart. It exploded in a shower of dust that fell gently to the floor, separating as Yuffie stepped through it.

She dashed over to the bar to deal with the vampires she had left from earlier, and they obliged her by hobbling towards her. The first one swung a haymaker at her, but she easily ducked under it. She rose as the punch neared the end of it's swing and she rammed the stake into the vampires ribcage, and he went the way of his other comrade. The third vampire realised that discretion is the better part of valour, and he tried to make a break for it. He started hobbling away as fast as his damaged ankles would allow, which wasn't very fast. Yuffie hefted the stake in hand, testing it's weight. She smiled and flung the stake at the vampire. It arced through the air... and smacked the vampire square on the back of the head. Yuffie sighed, and the vampire looked back over it's shoulder to see if it was being chased. It's momentary lack of concentration made it trip on a upturned chair, and the vampire fell and landed on an upturned table leg, skewering itself. The surrounding area quickly gained a fine coating of dust.

"Now for the boss..." Muttered Yuffie under her breath. The big vampire was staring at her from the other end of the bar. All of the people who had been in bar had left, including the other vampires. It was just Yuffie and the head vampire. She glared at him, think of the best way to attack. Before she got the chance, the vampire began to clap.

"Excellent, excellent," he said, with a grin on his face. "You will make a fine meal for the Master."

"You mean you're not the Head Vamp Guy around here?" Yuffie replied. The big vampire just laughed.

"Me? No. But would you like to meet the Master? I'm sure that can be arranged. Come along quietly and I can assure you that you will not be harmed." The vampire smirked. "Killed, yes, but you would make a fine addition to our cause."

Here's my chance, she thought. Time for the old come-and-get-it-big-boy routine. She fluttered her eyelashes at the vampire. "Well, in that case, I'd better come with you, hadn't I?" She walked over to him slowly, wiggling her hips. "Do you want to tie me up?" She asked, and held her hands out. "I can be... Rough" The vampire produced a length of rope from inside his jacket and did as Yuffie had expected.

"Jonathan!" He shouted to a vampire who was loitering at the door. "Take her and put her with the others." The vampire came across and pulled over to the door. She looked back over her shoulder, winked at the big vampire and walked out of the door.


There was quite a group of people being marched along by the vampires, a long column winding it's way through the town. Ash, Alex and Regan were amongst the crowd, as were some of the younger children from the clandestine group. At the very front of the queue was Gilles. Yuffie tried to get Ash's attention by hissing her name as loudly as she dared, but as soon as she did the younger kids started making a lot of noise, so she gave up on trying to get noticed.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, she realised where they were heading: the pagoda. Sure enough, they soon reached the tower, and they were bundled inside and up to the top floor, into Godo's room. I hope he's at the house, thought Yuffie. The room was a lot different since the last time Yuffie had seen it. The far wall had been replaced with a huge stained glass window depicting a golden chalice pouring blood onto the floor. As the moonlight shone through the glass, it left a red smear that ran all way along the room, a wound that divided the room in two. The walls, which had been red before, were now deep crimson, the colour of freshly split blood, and there were bloodstains on the floor in places. There were also many stout wooden posts arranged around the edges of the room. Enough for one per person. As soon as Yuffie had that thought, the vampires began tying the people to the posts, arms behind their backs.

Most of the younger ones began to cry, while others just stared at the focal point of the room, which Yuffie had only just noticed as she dragged her gaze down from the window. There was a coffin in the centre of the room, standing upright. The red light from the stained glass reflected off the brass handle, making it look like they were dripping with blood. The coffin itself was jet black, and decorated with bats that somehow managed to be darker than the actual coffin. Before Yuffie could make any further inspection, she was being dragged backwards towards ones of the poles. Soon her hands were tied behind the poles, but she couldn't take her gaze away from the sarcophagus in front of her. She had an uneasy feeling about it (At least, more uneasy than she was about being confronted with a room full of vampires,) a small ache in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't shake off.

"The Master will wake soon." Proclaimed one of the vampires. "And I imagine he will be hungry. Enjoy your final moments." All the vampires left the room, and the sound of the door being locked behind them was clearly audible in the silent room. The room erupted, people screaming, shouting and wailing at their plight, but Yuffie still couldn't draw her eyes away from the coffin until Gilles shouted at her.


"Huh?" Yuffie looked to her left. Gilles was tied to the pole next to hers. "Oh, hey."

"You have to do something!" He whispered

"I know, I know." Yuffie was way ahead of him. After that business with Don Corneo, she had made sure that she was very good at escaping from ropes. She wriggled her wrists a little, and she could feel the knots coming loose already. "It's your fault I got caught, you know." She told Gilles gravely as she worked on the rope.

"M- M- My fault?!" Gilles stammered. "What do you mean? I took every precaution for any foreseeable event..."

"... Except stocking your fridge. Have you seen it in there? It's like the Northern Crater." The ropes were nearly undone now. "I didn't get any breakfast and I was too weak and frail to put up a fight!" She finished with a grin.

"Do you really think that this is an appropriate time for humour?"

The ropes fell to the floor, and Yuffie hopped away from the pole. "As a trained ninja, I always have a joke prepared for any situation." She said in a haughty voice.

"Quite. Now would you mind getting us out of here?"

"Okay, okay" She started to untie the ropes holding Gilles, but before she could finish, she was cut of by a loud creak. The coffin was opening slowly.

"This can't be good..." She sighed.

The slow creak of the coffin suddenly stopped, and the lid flew across the room, hitting the wall above Yuffie's head where it shattered into pieces. Yuffie ignored it, concentrating instead on what was in the coffin. A tall figure floated out of the upright coffin and touched down gently on the floor. It was a vampire of the classical age. It was immaculately dressed in formal evening wear, black trousers, a white frilled shirt, a long black cape with crimson lining that glistened like a fresh wound. The cloak was clasped together around the vampire's neck with a ruby the size of a human heart. But while the rest of the vampire had come as no surprise to the fan of a million horror movies like Yuffie, the face certainly was. It was a face she knew well, a face she had often tried to get away from but still loved. It was Godo.

"Dad?" There were tears in Yuffie's eyes.

"Ze old fool?" Said the Master, in a thick Eastern European accent. He began to hover towards her. "He iz gone now. Perhaps you vould like to join him?" Yuffie wanted to shout out, to make him stop, but she couldn't make her jaw move. Godo's eyes, or the eyes of whatever was in his body now, were gazing into hers. Tendrils of thought pressed into her head, covering her brain and numbing her thoughts, the only thing that was certain was that see should join her father. She should go to him, embrace him, let her protect him. She tried to fight it, but despite herself she vaguely felt her feet shuffling towards him. The shouts of the people behind her muffled like she was listening through cotton wool, and she continued to shuffle towards her father.

Her mind must have been dulled more than she thought, because she had reached Godo a lot sooner than she thought. He seemed taller, broader than usual, his physical presence just as large as his mental one.

"Zat's right... Come to me..." He said quietly. Yuffie was completely under his control now. In a matter of minutes she would be one of the living dead, a vampire, Nosferatu, das Wampir...

Just as Yuffie reached her father, a large red leather-bound book with the word "VAMPYR" in large gold foil letters on the cover arced through the air and smacked Yuffie on the side on the head. The jolt of the impact cleared her head, and everything returned to focus. She looked up to see she was barely a foot away from Godo, and he was slowly floating towards her.

"Don't look into his eyes!" Shouted Gilles. Yuffie had obviously loosened the ropes enough for him to escape, because he was standing away from the pole. "Destroy the materia! Hurry! It's right in front of you!"

Yuffie looked forward, but she couldn't see the materia. All she could see was her father bearing down on her silently, the light glinting off the ruby set in the clasp of his cape. The ruby that was the same colour and shape as a summon materia...

Yuffie leapt forwards, looking down to try and avoid the vampire's gaze while at the same time hoping that she hit her target. Godo swung for her, but he was no match for Yuffie's speed as she thrust her right fist out with all the strength she could muster. She needn't have worried about her aim. She hit the orb full in the center and it exploded into thousands of tiny shards, cutting her hand and arm in the process. Godo flew backwards, still hovering six inches above the floor, and his cloak wrapped around him, covering him from head to foot. The fabric began to ripple, the tremors in the cloth whipping the air around it so violently that Yuffie could feel it rustling her hair. A low moan echoed from inside the cape, and a cloud of grey mist erupted from the top, quickly rising through the ceiling and out of view. Godo's body dropped to the floor with a thud.


"Dad!" Yuffie rushed over to her father. "Are you okay?" She rolled the body onto it's back, and it's eyes flicked open. "DAD!" Shouted Yuffie, grabbing him around the shoulders, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"What happened?" He asked.

"You were turned into Dracula, leader of all the vampires, for a short period. You are back to normal now, however." Gilles had dashed over to see what was happening.

"Dracula?... Oh, I remember! I wanted to get you something special for your birthday, so I tracked down the Dracula materia. Quite a task it was too!" Said Godo. "But when I picked it up... I don't... I can't remember what happened after that..."

Yuffie pulled back from hugging her father. "So... You didn't forget my birthday?" She asked.

"No, of course not. I knew exactly what to get you, too. Where is the materia, by the way?"

Pain suddenly shot through Yuffie's arm. "Well, some of it is stuck in my damn arm. The rest is shattered over there."

"I suggest you two go and rest now. You have had quite an experience, both of you." Suggested Gilles. Yuffie and Godo decided they should do just that.


It was two weeks after Yuffie had stopped the vampires. Thankfully, once she had broken the spell on Godo, the rest of the vampires had disappeared too. Small patches of dust around the pagoda confirmed this, as well as the fact that no one else had had their blood drained from them, which is always a good sign. Yuffie had decided that she had spent long enough in Wutai , for the time being at least. She had said goodbye to Godo, and she decided to stop by and see Gilles before she left.

When she arrived at his house it was clear that he was leaving too. His "Weird Crap" was all packed up in boxes. She found Gilles himself in the back garden.

"Hey Gilles." She said. "Just thought I'd come round and say goodbye."

Gilles sipped his tea. "You're leaving? I thought you were staying with your father for a while?"

"I did. Three weeks is a long time for me to spend in any one place, you know. Anyway, I want an real holiday, one without vampires."

"Where are you going?" Asked Gilles.

"I'm gonna go to the Costa del Sol. Give my arm a change to heal." She held up her right arm, which was covered in bandages. "Ah yes, a few weeks of sun, sand and se..." Yuffie caught herself. "Anyway, you know what I mean."

Gilles smiled at her. "Goodbye, Yuffie."

"G'bye, Gilles. Thanks for all the help and everything." She stepped towards the door. "Where are you going ,anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know." Replied Gilles. "But I dare say we'll meet again at some juncture."

"Okay. Bye, Old timer!" And with that, Yuffie dashed out of the door. Gilles shook his head, and sipped his tea.

The End