I am of Damned

Philip Armstrong

Author's note: Out of all of Final Fantasy VII's characters, I find the "villains" to be the most interesting. And yet out of all the Fanfics I have read I have found non that touch on Hojo. I think that his insanity makes him one of the most frightening villains. This story tries to touch the insanity, the horror, and the couplet meglamaniance of Hojo, the Damned.

The needle enters my skin and the rush of relief surges through my body. The Monsters have drawn back, and I am myself yet again. As I right this report I know that they are learning the secrets of the elixir, and will have soon destroyed it, forcing me to make a new one yet again.

But, for me this should be nothing.

The sacrifice I have made for this information was well worth it. The knowledge I have gained has taught me much and I have yet to learn more. To find the secrets of life and beauty. To become, a god.

Those fools! Trying to stop what they don't understand! If I had tried my experiments on someone else, I would have learned nothing of what I know now! They call me nothing compared to the work of Professor Gast. But they do not know what it is to lie at night fight for your own sanity, fighting the creatures that you, yourself placed in your own body! Not all my monsters come from chemicals. But from my mind.

They think I do not see the looks they give me, but I do. They stair at my pale/green skin, my lifeless eyes, ad wonder how in God's name did was such a horrifying sole born. Because it wasn't created in God's name but in mine: Hojo! Not in the holy plains of Heaven or Hell! But in a lab! They think I do see the looks.

They have often wondered how I was picked to be Gast's replacement. They have hoped that with the coming of Rufus I would be gone. But they don't realize my power. For if the Monsters do escape, and I am lost, I will not be for blame of what terrors will come forth. The horrors which no man will escape! For it will not be negligence on my part, but of the ones who can not except, the ones who can not let be, the ones who think I am nothing.

They will met horrors of which few only know. The woman who was brave and foolish enough to love me. The man who loved her, hatted me, and was the weakest of all. Now Jenova holds her in it's clutches stronger that it even holds me. And the man is tormented day and night in a coffin deep, deep, underground.

They were foolish enough to face me, and there will be more. Many more.

They think I don't see the looks.

I am a god.

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