This is my second try at writing a fan fiction and I wrote it for my enjoyment hoping that you, the reader, would enjoy it also. Fanfics just aren't much good if the author doesn't enjoy creating them. I thought it might be interesting to write about two barely seen characters in the game. Just a quick warning: This story is not meant to be very serious, so don't expect it to be! It's a parody. Ok, that's all. You can start reading the story now. Are you still reading this dumb author's note? Please stop!! I mean it!!! Did you stop? Good. Just checking.
The sun was just beginning to rise in Jidoor as Makris Doe awoke from a peaceful night's slumber. He looked down at his wife, who was curled up next to him, still asleep. Ah what a good life I have! A beautiful wife, a high paying job, a lovely house with all the newest luxuries...If only my son weren't so... His thoughts were interrupted by a wail of anguish coming from the next room.
"PAAAA-PAA!! Come quick!" Makris' wife, Kassidy, woke with a start, then realized what was going on and closed her eyes again.
"Better go see what he did to his newest toy, Mak."
"I just bought it for him yesterday," Makris groaned, "Why does he have to go through them so quickly?"
Kassidy shoved her blonde hair out of her eyes and thought for a while before answering, "I think he likes to watch you tell me how much his latest gadget cost. Before that can happen, he has to get a new, expensive toy. But you only get him another to stop his screaming when one breaks, so he feels like he has to break more and more." She finished her speech in one breath.
Makris blinked. "...Run that by me again?" Kassidy laughed and gave her husband a playful shove. "Go see what he wants or I'll tell the cook not to make you any breakfast. Oh, and remind the maid to close the curtains when she finishes dusting. I don't want the satin chairs to fade."
Makris threw off the blankets, quickly dressed and rushed into his only child's room. "What's wrong, Jofor?"
"PAPA! My super-action-turbo-charged-ultra-whammy Magitek armor figure with real working laser beam just melted my Nightly Morphing Power Stranger man!"
Makris sighed in relief. "Is that all? I thought your talking Chocobo ran away or something."
Jofor continued to sob. "PAA-PA!!! Power Stranger man was my faaaavorite!"
Since you got him sixteen hours ago, at least... Makris thought. "Look, how about we go get a new toy right after the maid cleans your room and we can get breakfast?" he asked, trying desperately to calm his five year old son.
Jofor stopped crying immediately. "Really? Well...I HAVE wanted a real live Pinchamon. Pikasniffle is the coolest! Pleeease, can I Daddy? I love you Daddy," he added for good measure.
"Oho, you know my weak spot, Jofor. Let's see if anyone at the auction house knows where we can find one."
After eating a delicious, but expensive breakfast, Makris and Jofor prepared to leave. Kassidy kissed both of "her men" good-bye and reminded Makris, "Now listen, until you can find a good painting to sell to Owzer, we only have a few thousand extra GPs to spend, so take it easy."
Makris laughed. "You know me, Honey," he threw over his shoulder. Yes, that's why I'm worried, she thought.
Jofor and his father were directed by the auctioneer's assistant to head over to the Chocobo stables. It was still early and the sun had not been given a chance to warm the chilly morning air. They ran across town as fast as they could, only to run into a bedlam of children and parents trying to get one of the hugely popular Pinchamon.
"Let go of my Pikasniffle!"
"I wanted a Woof, not a Wooftwo!"
"That's MY Tangly!"
"Mommy! I want a Blastoast too!"
"Look, a three-headed Minkey!"
After a useless struggle to get to the front of the line, Makris pulled Jofor back and listened to the stable owner who had just pulled out a mega-phone. "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please? The auction house is holding a special auction today for those of you who didn't get a Pinchamon. Err...slightly used toys and accessories! Head on over there before it's too late!"
Since they had been near the back of the crowd, Makris and Jofor were able to get to the auction house before anyone else. Makris asked the doorman what would be auctioned off.
"Ah, let me check my list...a real magenta pigdog, a somewhat dented ocarina with gold colored finish, a Mako reactor play set-only missing the Aerith figure, a pink tail, an ARMs squirt-gun, a camera stone, a saladbwl-for all your cooking and helmet needs, a munchkin-sized midge mallet, a silver trumpet, a...um...Flaymee drum-said to summon dragons, a dorky stick with the name "Brian" carved in dorky lettering, some weird things called veedios, a Mr. Baseball bat, a bunny mask, twinharps, and a complete Triple Triad set just to mention a few items."
Jofor's eyes widened with anticipation, Makris' eyes widened with terror. Two hours later, the Doe family was fifty thousand GPs poorer, and Jofor had a "new" assortment of slightly used toys.
Kassidy was waiting for them at the front door to their home. "Did you remember what I told you Makris? I most certainly hope you did."
"I'm so glad to hear that you didn't spend too much! Listen to my list of purchases and deals! Two balcony seats to the latest opera, a new set of silver, three new servants, a combination rug beater and pop corn popper, and a couple lovely art pieces!"
"WHAT?! B-but you can't have done that! I just spent fifty grand on toys to...wait a minute! You didn't buy a thing, did you?"
Kassidy smirked behind a concealing hand. Her mirth quickly turned to annoyance and then anger. "I can't believe you! If things keep going as they are, our entire fortune will be spent trying to make that spoiled son of ours stop crying! Besides, with all this talk of war, shouldn't we be building up defenses, not toy boxes?"
Makris turned his caramel colored eyes away from her. "...Yes, I suppose you're right. You know I can't resist those cute little eyes of his, though. Just one more auction, I promise! There is one coming up that I can't afford to miss...well maybe I can't afford to GO, but you know what I mean. The feature auction is a 1/1200...
"...Scale model of my old airship, the Blackjack," Setzer tried to explain to Edgar. "Soon, people will forget how fantastic it looked and there won't be any more models made! You must allow me to use some of the group savings!" He started pacing the floor of Figaro castle's throne room. Edgar exchanged glances with the chancellor and sighed.
"I suppose you may. Exactly how much were you thinking of? Seventy-five thousand?" Setzer shook his head.
"Really, Edgar. I am entitled to at least one-fifty. I wondered if you could spot me a little more than that and loan me...say...seven-fifty?"
The king tried unsuccessfully to hide his shock. The fact that his jaw dropped nearly to his ankles was a dead giveaway. "A little more?! Setzer, have you lost your wits?! That's half of the money we have! It's not as though this...model is that big a deal, is it? A mere toy? I know you enjoy gambling, but this is too much!"
"Yes or no Edgar? Don't make me take it without leave."
"Well, when you put it that way, you give me very little choice," Edgar said through clenched teeth. He stormed out of the room muttering curses under his breath.
At last! Thought Setzer. The day of the auction has arrived! Since he had wanted to avoid running into "Edgar the Enraged", he had left Figaro castle as soon as he had visited the royal treasury. But even with the Falcon's incredible speed, it had taken him a while to reach Jidoor. At least the inn still had several beds available when he finally got to the town. He looked over at the clock and realized that he had slept much later than he had intended to.
Setzer freshened up quickly and rushed over to the auction house. The other bidders had already taken their seats and several auctions had already been held. I do not know what I'll do if they have already sold my ship, he thought to himself. He took a seat in the front row next to a very squirmy boy. I don't care what it takes to make sure the auctioneer sees me, even if it means sitting next to this child!
The auctioneer pounded his gavel for attention. "Okay! Here's our next item! A 1/1200 scale model of an airship! Do I hear five thousand GP?" he asked.
Before Setzer could speak up, a man to his far left said, "Seven thousand GP!"
"Ten thousand GP!" Setzer countered.
A gentleman behind him, "Twenty thousand GP!" Setzer kept glancing about the room, curious to see whom his next competitor was.
A young woman across the isle to his left called out, "Thirty thousand GP!"
Setzer's heart was starting to beat with excitement. Half the fun of these things is the suspense. I don't have to worry though; all the money Edgar lent me combined with my own personal winnings brings my total to just under a million GP! Ha, beat that! Not wanting to jack up the price too quickly though, Setzer bid a modest forty thousand. He looked over at the boy next to him as the boy nudged a man whom Setzer guessed to be the lad's father.
"Papa!!" the boy said, "I want that! Please!" The man leaned down and tried to quiet his son.
"No you don't! Now pipe down!" But the child kept insisting.
"I want it...I want it! Buy it! Pretty please!!"
Setzer was starting to sweat. He didn't like the sweet puppy-eyed look on the child's face. I may have trouble here. He's probably some spoiled brat whose parents buy him anything. A man's voice from behind him made Setzer jump.
"Fifty thousand GP!" the man sang out.
Setzer shouted, "Sixty thousand GP!" a little louder than necessary and looked past the boy to his parent. The father hesitated, looked around, swallowed and shouted, "A million GP!" Setzer's heart sank like a stone in a lake, and every single person in the auction house jumped a foot off his or her seats.
"WHAT?! A MILLION GP?!"
After raising his jaw from the floor, the auctioneer yelled, "Sold to this lucky person. Take it away, please!"
The boy leaped from his seat. "Yahoo!!! Thanks, Papa! Yahoo!" The man patted his boy's head and chuckled.
"Ho, ho, ho... All right, Jofor! But just this once! And... ... Keep it a secret from Mama!" The pair walked up to the stage and exchanged their money for the model. "Well, we have our treat for the day. Let's go home!" said the father.
"Yahoo! Yippy!!!!" the boy continued to shout as they walked out the door. Setzer sat in his chair for several moments, still stunned that he had lost.
"Well, that's all for today! Come again real soon," Setzer heard the auctioneer say. He rose sadly and was heading away from the auction when suddenly he devised a clever plan. His eyes scanned the busy streets for a glimpse of the two people.
He spotted them off in the distance and called, "You there! Um...Jofor? Yes, you! Wait up a minute and I'll make it worth your while!" He ran up to them and caught his breath before continuing. "Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you, sir, would be willing to make a deal with me?"
The father gave him an unreadable look and said, "Now look here, sir. I don't know who you think you are but I'll have you know that..."
Setzer interrupted him. "Of course. My name is Setzer Gabbiani, perhaps you've heard of me?" The man's eyes widened with recognition.
"You mean the Setzer who threatened to kidnap Maria all those months ago? The Setzer who owns the world's fastest airship? The world's greatest gambler? I'm Makris, by the way."
"The very same Setzer! Now let me tell you, my former airship was very near and dear to my heart. Ever since the tragic day it was destroyed, I have been looking for something to remember it by and I was wondering if your son might be willing to part with... Ouch! Arrgh, you little brat! I'll teach you better than to step on my feet! Er...that is..."
"Papa, you aren't really gonna let him have my new toy are you? I wanted to show it to Mama! Please? I really wanted it to fight with my Magitek force!" The boy pulled off his blue silk cap and stomped it into the ground.
"Now Jofor, don't make a scene. Let's go and," he swallowed hard, "...Show Mama your toy." Jofor and his father turned to go towards home. Setzer followed them closely, pleading.
"Look, I can offer you nearly what you paid for it. Not only that, but you sir, will have the luxury of not needing to tell your wife about this...rather large purchase." Makris stopped and nearly turned around, but Jofor kept tugging on his arm, so he started walking again. Though, not as fast as before. Setzer was desperate now, and willing to try anything.
"Well then, how about I give you eight hundred grand and give the two of you... ...a ride in the real thing?" Setzer mentally slapped himself, I can't believe I just said that! Makris and Jofor whirled around.
"Do you really mean that? You'd truly be willing to take my son and me on an airship flight in exchange for the model? And pay us the eight hundred too, of course." Setzer's shoulders slumped.
"I...yes. When do you want to leave?"
"...So ya shee Edgar, 'at's why I was dismayed...er, delayed for a few days." Setzer hiccuped and the king slammed his fist down on the table.
"And yet you still had extra time AND money to spend on whiskey before you came here? I find that hard to believe! I was expecting some change, not an I.O.U.! You told me that you would be taking the seven hundred fifty thousand GP just to be on the safe side. You did not tell me the bid would go to a million!" Setzer raised a hand to defend himself.
"How's I s'pozda know 'at? I had no igeea! Mebby I was too clocky...chalky? Cocky! Hic! 'Sides, you got lotsa dough in you persol savings accoun', right? And if you'da had as emotionally discurbing...um...disturbing week-end as me, you'da got a lil' drunk too." Edgar's face darkened to a purplish color and he took a deep breath.
"SABIN!! GET IN HERE BROTHER! I NEED YOU TO PUMMEL THIS SWINDLER FOR ME!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Setzer let out a yelp and fled from the room, somewhat unsteady on his feet. Edgar rushed after him in a most un-kinglike fashion.
Sabin hurried to the room as soon as he heard the shouting, only to find it empty except for the chancellor. He looked around, puzzled, then scratched his head and muttered, "That crazy brother of mine. I'll never understand him if I live to be two-hundred fifty-five years old!" He looked over at the chancellor who had witnessed the whole scene in silence. The chancellor shrugged. Sabin shook his head and left the room to resume his daily workout in peace.
P.S. Thanks for the encouragement, Jason! Friends like you are hard to find.