Into the Darkness

by Valvados


~For Alicia and Jessica~

master golbez told me to do it and so it must be right because master golbez is always right he is always good he would never do anything wrong because he is master golbez and he is always right but if master golbez told me to do it then why does it feel so wrong

Kain sat with his back to the wall, his body pressed into a corner, in a small room somewhere deep in the Tower of Zot. He was naked, leaning back on the wall on his long blonde hair, the metal floor cold on his buttocks, his knees drawn up to his chin, rocking slowly.

i dont like it no i dont but master golbez told me to do it and i have to do it because if i dont then master golbez will do it to me again and last time it hurt oh god it hurt it hurt so much when he did it so i had to do it i had no choice because master golbez told me to

The image of the girl's face flashed before him, and he could remember every single line and crease on her beautiful young face. It was immaculate, the skin so creamy and unblemished, the eyes closed, each breath blowing a soft wisp of hair off of her face.

i dont believe master golbez could do this because master golbez is good and nice and kind but master golbez knows everything he knows what is right and he would never have me do anything that wasnt right so i guess it was good but i still couldnt believe it

The face hung in the air in front of him, accusing him of atrocities he knew he had committed, and at the same time, could not believe he had. He couldn't believe his ears when he had heard Golbez tell him that his assignment was to assassinate a six year old girl in the village of Mysidia. The girl, Golbez had told him, had the destiny to become a powerful black wizard, and he did not want her threatening him; he wanted to end the threat she posed to him, and he had chosen Kain to do that.

her window was open it was summer in my armor it was so hot its always so hot in my armor but i am a dragoon i can take it i have always been able to take it yes i have

He had stood over her bed in silence, staring down at her form. She was so young, so innocent. He couldn't believe what he was doing, and yet, he knew that he had to, lest he go back and face Golbez's awful punishment. So he had unsheathed his dagger, and lifted it high over his head.

her eyes oh my god her eyes they were blue just like his just like cecils deep blue and they stared at me she stared at me and she didnt move and i dont know why but her eyes her eyes her eyes they were endless

As he stood there, dagger poised over his head, ready to snuff out the young girl's life, she had opened her eyes and stared up at him. He saw in her eyes that she saw him, that she knew the threat that he posed to her, and that he was prepared to end her brief stay on earth. And yet, she didn't move. She just lay there in her bed, staring up at the tall Dragoon looming over her.

i couldnt take it those eyes those eyes those eyes they were as sharp as my dagger so i put it through them and then they couldnt look at me anymore oh god the blood there was so much blood it was on my hands and my forearms and it was hot but the eyes werent looking at me anymore and now they were just dark and unseeing and so i left my dagger and i climbed out the window and ran and then i didnt have to look into them anymore i didnt have to look into the darkness anymore

The face still hung in the air before his eyes. He could swear that he heard the voice of a little girl in his head.

"You killed me."

no i didnt master golbez did i was just his arm and master golbez is always right

He heard the voice again. This time, he thought he saw the face speak the words as well.

"You killed me, Kain."

i cant help it i had to because i am under master golbezs control and if i dont do what he says then hell hurt me again

He felt as if he were going mad, seeing the face in front of his eyes, seeing this dead girl's face speaking to him "Did you even know my name, Kain?"

master golbez did not think it meant anything to me and i must trust in master golbez yes i must

"You killed me, Kain."


His voice erupted in his throat, screaming for help. Screaming for Master Golbez to come and make everything right.

The face before his eyes vanished as the door to the room opened.

* * *

His eyes snapped open, and his scream ended abruptly.

He was sitting upright in his bed, clutching someone, his face buried in their shoulder. He could feel their arms around him, shaking him.

"Wake up, Kain. Come on. It's just another nightmare."


He looked up into his friend's face and saw the worry in the Paladin's eyes. Slowly he untangled his arms from around his friend and shifted himself so he was sitting on the edge of his bed. Looking up again, he could see Rosa standing in the doorway, her face a mask of concern.

"You were screaming again, Kain. We heard you all the way down in the royal chamber."

He shook his head and looked down at the ground. "...Sorry."

Cecil cocked his head to one side. "It was just another dream, Kain. Just a nightmare. It wasn't real."

Kain opened his mouth to speak, but try as he might, he could make no words come out. Losing all control over himself, he wrapped his arms around his best friend, buried his face in his Cecil's shoulder again, and began to sob.

Oh, Cecil. You have no idea.