Slime Rebellion
Jacob Zulpes

Slisk looked out across the forest clearing from his perch atop a rotted tree stump, taking in the magnificent sight before him. Countless slimes of varying colors with even more varying shades covered the grassy ground, talking, laughing, or just staring off into space. Many of them carried weapons with them, including miniature spears and swords. A few had even thought to bring some form of armor, such as shields, bracers, or human-sized helmets, which due to the average stature of a slime, could easily serve as full battle armor.

The old slime chuckled in anticipation, causing his light blue form to shake a bit. An army of slimes, with which he would soon realize his dream..

A dream of glory..

A dream of salvation..

A dream of .... revenge..

He turned to look at the young metal slime beside him. Busily scribbling on a piece of paper with a quill pen, the metally hardly noticed him. Slisk coughed impatiently, causing the young blob to start, and look at him nervously.

"Y-Yes sir?"

Slisk snorted in distaste at him, before turning back towards the crowd. Not turning to look at the scribe, he asked simply, "Is everything prepared?"

The scribe nodded quickly in response. "Oh yes, Mr. Slisk, sir! Everything is in perfect order. Our troops are all quite ready battle, and are prepared to move out on your command!"

Slisk smiled slyly. "Excellent.." Moving forward a step, he raised an appendage, and shouted to all that would listen, "ATTENTION!!" The mass of slimes all dropped their previous activities, and turned to watch their leader at once, listening intently.

Slisk smirked slightly for a moment, then began his speech. "My friends, fellow slimes, esteemed colleagues.. For years, we have been hunted, attacked, and often times killed by murderous warriors. We have been used as nothing more than stepping stones across the great river of power, by worthless, starter adventurers, who somehow feel that the meager amount of experience earned and the single gold coin they pick off our drying gels justifies our death!! But I say this is not how it must be.. We can and will fight back! And we shall be.." He paused for dramatic effect.. "VICTORIOUS!!"

A collective cheer sounded out from the crowd, proclaiming their enthusiasm. All but one young slime in the crowd cheered, the single youngster instead stepping forward towards Slisk.

"Sir? Um, Sir?"

Slisk blinked in confusion at the interruption for a second, before looking around to see whom the interruption came from, eventually resting his eyes upon the young slime before him. Purplish in color, and wielding only a shovel as a weapon, he certainly didn't look like much of a fighter, and Slisk voiced this quite well with but a disdainful snort in the childs direction. "Yes, what is it?"

The crowds eyes now on him, the slime grew slightly nervous. "Um.. How do we know we're going to win? Humans are pretty strong.."

Slisk stared at the purple blob for a moment, before responding. "That's a very good question, Billy!"

"My name isn't Billy."

"We shall overcome them with our strength combined! True enough, apart we are rather weak, but together, with our weapons at our side, we shall defeat the humans, and leave not one standing!! We shall be victorious, thanks to my brilliant leadership! Without me, you cannot lose!"

A cheer once again rose from the crowd, and with a wave of his arm, Slisk hopped off the tree stump he had used as a pedestal and began to lead his troops to battle, as the earlier child was lost in the gelatinous crowd..

Derrick sighed, as he stared off into the distance. Standing just outside the gates to Tatengal, he was supposed to be guarding against any intruders. Not that any intruders existed, what with the evil Hargon defeated, the peace restored, and everything bright and cheerful across the land. Sure, there was the descendent of the Dragonlord, who was holed up in his castle, but he preferred to simply stay home and play with his reptilian friends, and thus, was hardly worth thinking about. There was hardly any use for soldiers at all anymore, and little point in standing guard.

Still, everyday, he had to stand out here, and watch for any coming enemies. And everyday, he would fail to see anything but the trees, the grass, and the ocean in the distance.

"This is so boring.." He grumbled to noone in particular.. "I wish something.. anything would happen."

As if on cue, and at that very moment, a legion of slimes crested the western hill, and continued moving towards the castle. There were at least a hundred of them it seemed to Derrick. Some held weapons, some wore armor.. some were carrying small rocks.. and one was wielding a shovel.

Instead of running to tell the king as he should have, Derrick simply stood there, staring at the oncoming army as it approached. Soon the army had reached the gate, and had stopped at the command of the light blue slime at the front of the group. After pausing a moment, the slime hopped up to Derrick, and looked up at him with obvious distaste.

"Ho there, human! I suggest you run before the might of our glorious army, lest you be trampled beneath our might! Run! Run! And go tell your king that his doom is at hand, for it is time for the Slimes Rebellion!!"

A cheer rose from the army of slimes, as they raised their weapons towards the sky.

Derrick simply stared numbly at the head slime, who was grinning quite evilly. "Um.. You're kidding.. Right?"

The head slime seemed taken aback by Derricks disbelief. "We.. we do not kid! It is time for our rebellion! We slimes have been cast aside as if we were nothing for years, and it is time now for the humans to feel the wrath of the slime empire!"

Derrick nodded absently at the slime, not totally paying attention to the words, and bent down to get a better look at him. Light blue in color.. curly white mustache.. and typical slime features in every other aspect. He paused a moment, before responding.. "Riiight.. And what was your name again?"

The slime rose to his full height, which wasn't saying much, and proudly proclaimed his identity to the young soldier. "I am Slisk Dritzle, Esquire, leader of the highly esteemed Slime Empire! And you should give me the proper respect that I deserve! So bow down before me human, or else get out of my sight!"

Derrick raised an eyebrow at the little slime, and straightened back up again, still looking at the slime with a less than impressed expression. "Okay.. Listen.. Uh.. Slisk. I don't really know how to break this to you, but you ARE nothing. You're the weakest creature any kingdom has yet to encounter, so much in fact that people hardly even recognize your existence. So I seriously doubt you'd do very well in a battle. Why don't you take up some other pastime, like hiking? Or maybe cooking?"

Slisk stared at Derrick for a moment, mouth agape, before turning a dark shade of blue, and raising his fists in preparation.

"How dare you make such a mockery of our race! Prepare to defend yourself, you worthless urchin!"

The army of slimes began cheering on their leader, as he prepared to cast the young soldier aside, as so many slimes had been before.

Derrick simply sighed.

"Listen.. can't we talk about this?"

Slisk raised his arms to ready a spell as he glared at the soldier with nothing less than hatred. "The time for talk has passed! You have insulted my kind, and thusly must be punished! Prepare to meet thine fate!"

Derrick sighed again.. looks like there was no avoiding this..

Slisk started chanting.. "Ispo.. Facto.. Meenie.. MAGI-" *SQUISH* The evil slimes spell was silenced forever in that moment by Derricks boot. Having failed to wear any armor himself, he had never stood a chance. Derrick smirked. He hadn't even had to raise his spear. His foot had done quite nicely.

The cheering stopped quite abruptly, each slime watching the form of their fallen leader with utter shock. Slowly, each set of eyes turned upwards to stare at Derrick, who simply smiled.

A red slime near the back whimpered.. "He killed Slisk.."

Somewhere in the in the middle.. "Surely he must be the greatest of warriors to have defeated him so easily.. Our army would be laid to waste before him!"

The metal scribe, who had been near the front, backed away slowly from the mighty Derrick, before running through the crowd, screaming, "RETREAT!!" The army of slimes soon rushed to join their retreating comrade, all of them screaming in fear.

Derrick watched as the slimes fled for their lives, the smile slowly fading from his lips. As the last slime disappeared back over the western hill, he turned his head down to look at the ground. Raising his foot slightly, he bent over and picked up the single gold coin that had been left behind from Slisks fallen gel, which was already beginning to fade into the ground. He pocketed the coin, sighed, and once again stared out into the distance.

"This is so boring.." He grumbled to noone in particular..

[Authors Note: Well, there it is. This will be the first fanfiction I've sent into RPGamer. It's to bad this series doesn't have more stories based around it, as it really is great, although it is understandable, being a bit old, and not up to par with the plot-twisting, graphic flashing RPGs of today. Anyway, I hope you liked my feeble attempt at humour. Feel free to send any comments, questions, or flames to Kramerrn@MSN.Com. See yas. Zulpes Out. Yanna Kanji.]