Michael Wyatt, 08/22/05 -- Miserable... That million Mikes routine is straight out of tuinte's book, and I must say, he's really much better equipped to pull it off. Did you even have a single new letter? I mean, hand-me-downs are all well and good, but this is a nationwide contest; you've got to dress your best. If you've done so tonight, I fear your wardrobe is surely in the terminal stages of its existence and you would be well advised to find a replacement immediately.
Ross Bembrose, 08/23/05 -- Oh, please... Like gimmicky characters will help you succeed in this contest! I think we've all seen our share of those, be they that laughably plaid Andrew Dangerous character or your eight ball, so please, let's try and keep that "gag" to a minimum, shall we? Oh, and kudos on replacing the dog as your image; while Robotnik is no more flattering representation of what you look like as you strut your stuff, he certainly is a more accurate one!
Matt Demers, 08/24/05 -- Matt, Matt, Matt... You've got no stage presence! You need to step it up or step it on out, because I promise you, flying under the radar won't cut it around here, even if watching the rest of these contestants is an interminable bore. You know, you can twist your arms and snap your fingers as much as you please, but it just won't make a difference in the end, especially not if you insist upon wearing those woeful leather pants. Tell me, does raw hide make for a raw hide?
Rebecca Rudeen, 08/25/05 -- A thorough disaster. The anime references are entirely out of place on a website devoted to RPGs, and from what I can see, the only dedication this host has is to her bloated DVD collection.
Paws: Folding Tool! *gasp* Bucket, he doesn't mean that!
Yes I do, Paws... Anime has no place within these walls, not unlike those laughable hair extensions you're sporting!
You heard me...
Paws: You know what, Folding Tool? You can be negative all you want. Bucket knows she did a great job, and I think all our readers will too. I don't need to sit here and listen to you slander her! Bucket, you're a great spirit and your column was a breath of fresh air! I think a little bit of girl power will go a long way here, and you don't need to listen to this.. this.. this.. crap! I'm not going to stand for it! *storms out*
Wonder who she's giving a free pass to this time... In any event, Bucket, dreadful. Simply dreadful.
Steven Zimmerman, 08/26/05 -- Finally, someone after my own heart! After this tiresome gamut of dogooders and gawking claptrappers, it's refreshing to see somebody willing to tell it like it is. While praise may sound unnatural coming from my grimy little heart, this tool was touched, simply touched by this performance. The best to date! Now, if only he hadn't been wearing that awful foil hat, it'd be a perfect ten, but alas - some crimes are simply unforgiveable, and they are generally fashion-based.