Right, so okay, you've probably been thinking what everyone else has been thinking.
"Has she really not updated for three months?"
So I've actually amusingly pondered various conversations around the net as to what has happened.
Fan Fiction Reader A: Dude, I TOTALLY bet she died from reading a bad fic. Or maybe the sobig virus.
Fan Fiction Reader B: Yeah, seriously.
Fan Fiction Reader A: Or maybe she was kidnapped by ninjas. FAN FICTION Ninjas.
Fan Fiction Reader B: Totally!
Fan Fiction Reader A: Or maybe she climbed into the big whale and flew to the moon. Like Final Fantasy IV, man! I should write a fic about it. I really should! It's be a bonafide CLASSIC, I tell you!
Fan Fiction Reader B: ...That's totally not funny man. And now that I think about it, what's a Fan Fiction Ninja?
Fan Fiction Reader A: ...Heck if I know.
...Okay, maybe not. But here's the scoop: Remember in the last update we had email glitches? Well, these glitches lasted a month and a half. By the time they were fixed, I had started grad school so that I could learn all the tricks of being an elementary school teacher. While I've learned a lot, there has been virtually no time for myself until this week, which is my Spring Break.
If you've been reading RPGamer a while, or have common sense (which I know a lot of you do), you can probably figure out what's coming next:
This'll be my last update as the head of RPGamer's Fan Fiction section. I personally don't like having updates this late or infrequent, and with my current schedule that's all that you'd get, which isn't good enough. I'll still be around to review your Fan Fiction though, and I may update as a guest updater sometimes. You can still keep in contact with me, if you like, via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd love to hear from you!
We do have a new head of Fan Fiction, though. And a new fan fiction reviewer! Goodness! But before I present him to you guys, there's a few things that need to be brought up. They're EXTREMELY important.
- There was a brief period where sending and receiving fanfics was spotty, pretty much between the months of January and February. We did get SOME fics, but they seemed absurdly low compared to what we usually get. There's two solutions to this: starting from this update if you don't see any reply via acceptance or rejection of your fanfic in about three months, you can email it to us again and we'll review it, OR you can just resend it to us to be safe. BUT ONLY ONCE PLEASE.
- We're getting TONS upon TONs of spam and viruses. Starting from this update, ALL of your fan fiction submissions must contain the words [SUBMISSION] in the beginning of the subject. We will have filters on our email to delete anything that does NOT have this in the subject. Seriously, folks. We get roughly 200 emails every four hours. I'm NOT joking. There will be a grace period of a couple of weeks before this is implemented. After that, if you forget to put this in your subject title, we're not at fault if it gets lost. So, for example, your subjects will now look like this: [SUBMISSION] [FF7] Sephy is the win! If you have a general question about fan fiction, or perhaps a writing tip of the week, the new head honcho asks that you email him at his own address.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, your new head of Fan Fiction is now...Joel Pan! He will say a few words, and I expect you guys to be super nice to him, or I'll cry. Seriously.
Joel sez: Hi, I hail from a land far, far away, nestled deep in the bosom of the mystic Orient. It seems our last few fanfic caretakers have been from other strange and magical faraway lands such as England and Canada, and I assure you that I am no different in this regard.
What does make me different, though, is my unique biocellular ability to disintegrate an object to its component atoms and restructure it into a form of my choice. That's right, I'm an alchemist! Like Lezard Valeth, only not quite so malevolent.
Well, actually that whole bit about alchemy was a lie, but you already knew that, didn't you? In any case, I'll be the guy in charge of rejecting your fanfics and flaming your writing skills behind your back from now on, until such time as I get booted out for my lack of tact.
Hey. Niki again. I have one more order of business. We also have a new fic reviewer by the name of Michael Amirault! His introduction, in his words of course!
Michael sez: Alright, folks. I'm not going to be a hard reviewer. Really, I'm not. There are only a few things that you need to do to get a decent rating. The first, is to take a few minutes, and read the writing tips in the archive. They cover some of the most common reasons fics are rejected, and a couple minutes checking your fic for those things, might help you get accepted.
Secondly, don't switch tenses (past/present/future; he did/he does/he will do), without a really good reason. It breaks up the flow of the fic, and is probably one of the best ways to make me hate your fic. That's all. Pretty simple, isn't it?
Well, that's that. Thanks for the kind words and wonderful fics! I'll see ya all on the flip-side!
Notes from Fanfic Land
- Just to grind it into your heads, you need to put [SUBMISSION] into your subjects now! I'm not joking!
Writing Tip of the Week
Niki says: As experience from my own writing, mythology and legends are great sources of creativity. Try reading myths from cultures you may not be so familiar with, like Middle Eastern or African legends.
Niki "Until we meet again!" Dinner
Down for this update: We're currently updating it!
Fan Fiction Staff
Priestess of Everything Dew
The Cynical Optimist
The Stuffy In The Corner
Lady of Temporal Termination
Technical Assistant and Nifty Person