Final Fantasy CCCLXXVIII (378)
by "Jack"

Once upon a time, in the town of Random-Town-That-Doesn't-Bear-Any-Significance...there lived a troubled boy named Strongest-Character-In-The-Game. Strongest, as his friends called him, had several problems: first, his confusion about himself caused him to flip out. He almost never spoke, and liked to wield sword-like weapons. He believed he was destined to save the world.

Strongest had a girlfriend who was very beautiful and overly skilled in magic, but had very weak fighting prowess. Her name was Hero's-Love-Interest, and even though Strongest was usually queit or withdrawn or insane, Hero's-Love loved him anyway. Along with Strongest and Hero's Love, their lived Hero's-Friend/Rival. Hero's-Friend was a fairly strong fighter; he specialized in weapons like spears, guns, and the like.

One day, Strongest, Love, and Friend went out to save the world from The-Evil-Villain and his sidekick, Secondary-Villain. Strongest was tied to The-Evil-Villain; he used to admire him but now only viewed him with contempt. Secondary was just "there" to make trouble. But before Strongest and his friends could duel with Evil and Secondary, they had to acquire new friends and abilities. One by one, perfect strangers became close allies.

First there was Wearer-of-Capes, a musician who had a cape-and-instrument fetish. Joining them was also Comic-Relief, the small and obese creature who had a unique brand of humor, and Oddball, the extremely odd addition to the group (he usually mimed everyone's moves).

After them came Old-Wise-Man and Little-Child. Old-Wise-Man did not last long in the quest; he died while fighting Secondary-Villain (Secondary died with him). Soon everyone had arrived at Evil's hideout, and split up to reach him.

Once the group had reached Evil, they all told him mushy reasons why they found joy in life, and of girlfriends and cute guys and good food and long-dead friends that remained in their hearts. Evil was sickened and they all fought. First they all fought Evil's first formation, a gargoyle. Then they fought his second, an angel. Finally they fought his third and final form, a cross between an eagle, an ox, a lion, and a human. They killed him, but Strongest was pulled down in the earth to fight Evil one final time. He destroyed him for good, and rejoined his friends.

Some time later, everyone returned to their normal lives as if nothing had happened. Strongest and Love got married, and everyone lived happily ever after.

To be continued in FINAL FANTASY CCCLXXIX (379)!!!