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Ok, now this is going to be nasty, very nasty... Don't say I didn't warn you when you suddenly suffer a heart attack, particularly those I'm feeling like I can have a shot at.
We've been hearing quite a bit concerning how games is the next devil incarnate. We had the churches of the world jumping in recently 'advising' their patrons not to visit game or anime sites, or otherwise it'll be a sin. We have governments severely condemn games, we have the police linking gameplay to how criminalised people are... If you haven't heard about this sort of stuff, I don't know what galaxy you've been living in.
What brings these groups to these conclusions so quickly? Oh, your everyday 'specialist' and your action groups. They know EXACTLY what they're talking about... well, they sure look like it, considering that the bloody US Government is taking their advice solely, without even thinking of asking the other side.
Ok, how about we ask THEM what do they know about the computer games industry, and what makes THEM qualified to talk? What makes them respected to talk about this damned topic?
Oh... wait a second, most of these action groups are basically normal people... they're your Joe Bloggs from the street really, and they're screaming that games are inspired by Satan, and are there to corrupt the world... selectively I must add. Pokemon [See Frustration Factor #5] seems to get away from being condemned, oh, that's harmless entertainment, with a G (General) rating. Something like FF8 gets whacked with a MA 15+ (Mature Audiences, only 15 up), with a highly violent category. [I'm in Australia people... I don't know what'd that translate into in the US.] Even though you're basically seeing the same level of violence... You tell Pokemon to bash other Pokemon up, you tell Squall to bash up a boss. What's the difference? I got no frigging idea... maybe the fact that FF8 looks a whole heap better has something to do with it. Arguably, FF8 is probably better cause you're bashing up monsters to save the world. Pokemon? Oh, you're bashing up monsters for world domin... er, just to be an egotistic bastard, and say you're a master of bashing animals up with other animals. If nothing else, FF8 encourages you to do your own dirty work, instead of ordering slaves to do it for you.
You mean you missed that little detail? I'm so sorry, even though you guys are SUPPOSED to be on the lookout for things like this, and yet something as obvious as that gets by you? Or were you guys paid by Nintendo to lobby? Shut the hell up if you can't even do what you guys were saying you're planning to do, then say "Oh, we KNOW what you little brats have been up to, you little devil you." Why don't you actually keep an eye on your kids and you decide what's good for them instead of running around screaming that "X game is bad... we have to do something about it." Well, why don't you then, if you're so damned passionate about the topic instead of just letting it slip by, thinking that you'd rather let someone ELSE take care of your family problems?
Then again if that happened the next thing I'll see is a massive billboard in space proclaiming that the world's going to end because of Final Fantasy.
Wait a second, Mr or Ms Know-it-all Specialist, I ain't anywhere near finished yet! You're not going away that quickly! What about you people? What makes you so oh well qualified to open your mouth, particularly since even YOU couldn't spot the above mistake? You went to university? Oh yeah... in what, 1980? You were hanging around when Super Mario Brothers was considered a hell away from hell. A qualified specialist for 20 years? And you guys sound like Doom's a new thing. What century were you brought up in? Doom has been out for years bud... it's ancient! You could find it at our local EB for ten bucks... hell with that, you could probably find it free!
Same with all you guys at the police station, all you child physiologists. Come on... we let kids as young as 10... Sorry, I'm being generous... as young as 6 watch movies, television and... wait for it... real life situations, where we see just about everything. Oh no, the fact that he'd been watching Pokemon just before he grabbed a grenade and threw it at the bunch of school children didn't have anything to do with it... Oh he just saw Quake for 3 seconds.... That HAD to be it. Never mind the fact that the kid admitted that he was trying to catch the other children, or the fact that the only thing he watched was POKEMON cause his parents didn't give a damn about them... no, Pokemon is good for little kids... It had to be Quake, even though he only glanced at it for 3 seconds at an expo some three years ago.
Yup, just pick a game and blame it... god knows how much wonder that works on a good day. Makes you wonder what they do, doesn't it? They probably play darts at the station, except instead of points, they have games on the dart board.
How about you ask the real people, the ones who live and breathe the industry? Wait a second... I'm just a miss nobody. Oh, I'm soo sorry! I know many games inside out, I write about games, I play them, I rip them apart finding meaning in them, I discuss how the industry affects people, I got articles which prove that, I live games, I breathe games... but wait a second, I don't have a few billion dollars to buy a degree. I don't happen to live in Beverly Hills. I don't have a frigging PR department working around the clock promoting what I actually know compared to the supposed experts in the field. I don't have enough money to bribe Congress or any other damned government in the world to pay a second's attention to me.
Hell with that, If I can logically and neutrally speak about games, and give real analysis in them, damn it, I guess that means most of us probably know more than those experts, who have probably been living in a hole for decades now.
Hold it, we're just a bunch of teenagers. We know nothing, we see nothing. We're just a mindless mob, with those masters up top telling us what's right and what's not, with those masters taking advice from these specialists... who know less about the gaming industry than what a toddler does. Maybe this might convince the governments of the world what they're paying for... crap.
What the hell am I saying? I can't compete with these guys... the action groups give their damned 'services' for free, and they've got money to rival corporations. I guess I'll just have to catch them and teach them the truth... Ash style. With my sixty rou... er, pokeballs per minute, grenade... sorry, mass Pokemon catching machine and with hundreds of pokeballs in my trusty Pokemon backpack, I'm sure that I'll make quick work of them if I walked into their headquarters and universities and captured them en-masse.
Then again, they'd probably screw that event up as well, and blame it on Final Fantasy 7, Resident Evil 2, Daytona USA... or even Doom, despite the fact that Doom doesn't have a grenade in sight.
I guess maybe I should find myself another boyfriend, he ran off after reading this, maybe I should just continue writing at RPGamer speaking to the people who know what I'm talking about. Maybe I should find another job, save up and try that. In any case, I need to take a shower... I need to cool off my frustration factor.
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