On RPG Monsters

by Master Tonberry 

I hope people don't gripe about me being whiney, over-critical, or unappreciative after reading my rant about RPG faults. I really appreciate the games, I really do! I'm just stating something that kind of ruins my enjoyment a bit.

It's regarding the monsters that the heroes battle along the way. I'm referring specifically to games like Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy VI upward. I'm starting to think that the people in charge of creating and distributing the monsters don't give it a considerable degree of thought. There are certain things about them that I feel need improvement.

One beef I have is the lack of believability. Yeah, yeah, I know it is a fantasy game but even fantasy has to have certain limits in weirdness to be enjoyable (the exception being Max Fleischer cartoons etc.). The best way to describe the implausibility of monsters that disturbs me is to give examples from games.

The first one that comes to mind is a set of monsters in FFVI. Sometimes you will come across a "Brawler" a human, and a "mind candy", a bee-like creature, fighting alongside each other. So, in other words, these brawlers have trained attack bees?! Even if we can consider that, at least in a fantasy world, it is possible to train insects, how come there is absolutely NO mention of training attack "mindcandy" or "mindcandy" pets mentioned ANYWHERE in the FFVI world? Another example of a ridiculous symbiotic relationship is in FFVII. My party came across a wolf (I can't remember its name, I think it was "bandersnatch") that was facing us along side a "jumper"·a rabbit! I know it's a fantasy, but let me get this straight·a wolf is not hungry enough to eat a rabbit yet he is hungry enough to attack a man with a giant sword. Oooookaaayyy.

And what is the deal with some of the humanoid creatures? In FFVI you got some bird creatures wearing shawls. In VII there's some ugly monsters wielding maces, and in the crater, of all places, there's some elaborately dressed dude named Christopher. Weeiiiirrrd. What on earth are a bunch of men with their lower halfs replaced with axeblades doing swinging on chandeleir chains in an abandoned mansion! If they wanted you to do battles in an abandoned mansion, would'nt just placing some giant rats sufficed? And what's a human "evilman" doing in the sky tower that is supposed to be abandoned by humans in FFI? Other examples are the "magic vices" in FFIX and the "catburglers" and "tsunomages" in Chrono Cross. What bugs about these characters is this: If they're so civilized that they can aquire the clothes/weapons they have, then why are they no more than nomads with nothing to do except roam the countryside attacking only humans for no apparent reason? Surely they must have a civilization, however primitive, somewhere·a place where they get their clothes, forge their weapons and raise their young, but of course there are none. It's just too implausible for me. All I'm really suggesting is that, in the case where demi-human civilians are common, as in FFIX and Chrono Cross, they should at least have a couple of the demi-human races you battle hanging around in villages and such.

And the pendulum swings the other way, with elaborate spells being cast by brute beasts. In FFVI we got a tyrannosaurus using an "attack" which involves an army of ghost skulls. Tyrannosaurs can't even recognize prey if they don't move, according to Jurassic Park. Yes, it's a fantasy, but the monsters in this game appear in every other aspect just run-of-the-mill carnivorous reptiles (they don't talk, they don't seem to have any other purpose or motive than just to hunt). I thus assume they are brute beasts and therefore it is ridiculous to have them casting spells like freakin Merlin! How the hell can a pea-brained Bronto cast Ultima?!? I'm not saying all beast-type monsters can't use elemental attacks, just make them protrude from their mouths or eyes or something, for God's sake. Ultima BREATH is more plausible than for a dinosaur to actually cast a spell.

A really good example of monster designers allegedly not putting in a lot of thought is in Chrono Chross. Terra Tower, I believe, was a place created by and for reptilians. It was even called "Dinopolis". I was looking forward to fighting dragons, lizardmen (another favorite) or draconian warriors. Instead I find that all the creatures, even the bosses (the dragon god not included), not being the slightest bit reptilian, and some even being humanoid! Now that's just ridiculous.

I know this is on a more opinionated note, but the monsters in most of these games is too aesthecally unappealing. They're just too freaky looking (although they should be so some of the time)! I sure I'm not the only one who has imagined that the RPG realms may be interesting places to live. It's just a crying shame that such otherwise spectacular worlds would have the drawback of having such BUTT UGLY fauna! Remember that a creature can look menacing and intimidating and still be beautiful·or the better word would be handsome. I believe this principle should be especially true of dragons. What is the Final Fantasy team doing to the dragons?! Most of them (in FFIX) barely even look like dragons! Ideally, dragons should only be scary in a majestic way, like a lion or wolf, not in a repulsive way. They should be magnificent beasts to behold, and the principle should never be truer in FF than with the appearance of the King of Dragons, Bahamut, one of my absolute favourite elements in Final Fantasy. I find it unforgivable that they uglified Bahamut in FFIX by not giving him any damn eyes! That's great, King of Dragons and can't see sh*t. He looks more like a demon than a dragon (it's perfectly okay for a demon to look like that).

I think when designing monsters, they should put more consideration regarding whether it is plausible, even in their fantasy world, to place such-and-such creature in such-and-such place doing such-and-such attack. If unintelligent-looking monsters are going to cast spells, then the magic should look like a "breath" attack most of the time. And I'm not against them creating a creature with a python body, a human torso, a flower for a head, axeblades where his hands should be and the ability to cast "Level 4 Death". Just be sensible and use creatures like that strictly as bioweapons and/or demon slaves, not as common woodland creatures!

And one thing last thing that I hoped to see in FFIX and hope still to see in future titles: the return to TRADITIONAL fantasy monsters. FFI had the among the best bestiary's ever. The monsters there were not composed mostly of creatures they made up, but of monsters that were taken from mythology to fairy tales, even from prehistoric zoology, and this made the world and the game more interesting to me than if it was merely being overrun by strange creatures. Just as people have expressed longing for a return of FF to a traditional RPG of mages, swords and castles (which was thankfully answered by the eight version) so I long for the days when I would battle plain run-of-the-mill monsters like neanderthal club wielding ogres, caped vampires, harpies, wolves, sabre-tooth tigers, and dragons that LOOKED like dragons.

I don't mean to "dump on" RPG's I just think there are things which desperately need improvement and would make the game phenomenally better.

P.S one more thing THEY SHOULD KEEP THE TONBERRYS I LOVE THOSE LITTLE GUYS!