(Caution: Obsenity) Is it an Editorial, a Poem,
or a Song? None of the Above! Thatís My Word
by Mitchell Gyde
(Note to the few people who actually want to read the
uncensored version of this editorial: Send me a line and specify which editorial.
I can give you a wordpad attachment, an HTML
attachment, or in the body of email.)
Part 1 - Violence & Hate
Why do you tell me it’s ok to commit violence?
Why do you think it makes sense?
I’m gettin’ fed up with this shit.
"You’re the evil one just because of the words
Well, what about time that guy got hit
in the face with the butt of your gun
before you clicked off the safety to blast him one?
Was it ok because you thought it was fun?
Oh wait, it was ok because your buddy pointed at
him and yelled, "Fag!"
So you hurt him until his every limb sank like one
You can invent a time machine with just your finger
You just gotta switch the word "fag" with "witch,"
"jew," "nigger," "indian," or "communist."
That’s how you move from era to era
so you can discover a few things here and there
that are always repeating. Namely: ignorance, death,
and mindless rage.
That’s yet another note you ripped from a page
in "The Complete Idiots Guide to Being a Fascist
"Hey! Her skin’s a bit different so I’ll
I’ll rape her and snatch her purse
then I’ll tell you that your words
are the worst kind of evil."
Just because I say we gotta stop hating each other,
Well, to fuck with it!
You can call me a hypocrite
or say that’s it ironic
when I slip a pill into the gin and tonic
of the next guy who tries to tell me "ignorance is
That way, I simply can’t miss
when I pull out a loaded gun
because he’ll be too stoned to run.
Then I’ll say "You’re about to suffer
the same fate
that you encouraged onto other people to this date.
You told people that it’s ok not to learn from
and it’s ok to continue this senseless misery.
Fuck this gun!
I’ll use a knife to cut you a new one!
If you think that death, destruction, and suffering
you must be ignorant.
I’ll stomp your head to give it a dent!
Quit your bitching! I said shut it!
It doesn’t feel too blissful now, does it?"
That sounds crazy now, doesn’t it?
Question: What do YOU sound like when you say "Aids
Answer: You sound like someone who says "Breast cancer
cures old hags"
or "Prostate cancer cures over-the-hill men."
Suppose you catch that disease, what then?
Are you gonna tell me that it’s ok ‘cause
it’s the will of your god?
Yeah, that also excuses every time you mutilated
Can we not feel equal unless someone’s excluded?
"Hey! Is that a bone fragment that just protruded
from the bloody skin of my arm?"
It must be "righteous" to cause bodily harm
because you said so,
just before you said we all have free-will. "I said
The never-ending hate and violence makes me feel
as sick as a turd.
I’m fed up you self-righteous assholes! That’s
Part 2 - Parents with Egos
Hey, sport. Are you ready for school?
"Yeah." Hold on a second... "Let me guess: drugs
No, I was wondering if you really thought I’d
let you wear that shirt.
"It’s just rock group T-shirt.
I like this band. I don’t see how that can
Those guys are fags!
Their picture makes the shirt worse than a dirty
"Fags? ‘Cause they weren’t in the marines
Don’t talk back! You’ll know better when
"The only clothes you don’t consider queer
is combat camouflage.
I don’t want to look like those pictures in
Ow! Oh, no, don’t... ...please...
There’s no reason to hit me."
You gotta toughen up.
I’d rather have you die than disappoint me,
so shut up!
"No, please. I’m your son!" Don’t you
dare start to drone!
I don’t want a son, I want a clone!
It may hurt now, but it’s for your own good.
I can’t believe I ever bought you food.
You don’t have the balls to serve your country.
"I can earn my own money.
What’s wrong with going a different way?"
What? So you can become a transvestite whore?
"Please, let me go out the door.
I won’t sell my body if I were to become poor.
Please stop hurting me. I can’t take any more."
It’s for your own good that I won’t let
"No, it’s for the good of your ego!
It may have been the right thing in your life,
but not for me!" Son, put down the knife.
Ahhh! "Shut up! This is for ever time I was hurt,
just because you were mad at something, and wanted
to make me feel like dirt.
You tell me that I have to serve the few people with
a loud voice,
but this country is supposed to be about freedom
I want to be who I want. It’s not a bad thing
to be a nerd.
I want to go my own way. That’s my word.
Part 3 - Censorship
I’m sick of people telling me that my mouth
is like a toilet.
"It is. It’s so dirty that we have to boil
just to clean it out."
No, I have my doubts
about the whole concept of bad words that you preach
Why is it ok to say poo but not shit?
Why is it not ok to call someone an asshole instead
of an idiot?
Why is that we have to sugar coat it
instead of just saying fuck?
I live in the most censored "free-nation" on Earth.
Isn’t that just my luck.
Mommy, Daddy, what are bad words?
"They’re words you shouldn’t hear. That
bad habit is for the birds."
Why? "Because those words are dirty."
Why? "Maybe you should wait to hear why until you’re
Why? "Because there’s just no need for it."
Why? "Those words are filthier than a pit."
Why? "Because it’s immoral."
Why? "Your grandparents told us that until we were
twenty years old."
Why? "Because you’ll be punished if you say
Why? "You’re mind is as pure as a gem.
You shouldn’t taint it." Why?
"I think I accidently left a pie
on the window." Why?
"Because I’ll punish you if you don’t
quit asking why."
Does that sound familiar?
It’s how religious fundamentalists came to
"Shit! You made me drop my beer.
You offended me by attacking my beliefs.
Are you smoking hash or reef?"
It’s ok for you to make jokes about other people
yet it’s bad to throw shit on a painting of
egg a steeple?
Fuck you self-righteous dildos!
Quit looking for a virus on Lycos
to send to me just for exercising my right
to say what’s on my mind. Do you really want
Do you want to oppress me just like you torched people
in medieval Europe?
After that, would you put my ashes in a plastic cup?
I’ll never agree with you, won’t you
just let me be?
"No. Your way of life is wrong. Can’t you see
that it says in the holy bible that the unwed can’t
I don’t give a shit what that book says, you
"It is the truth. That’s what you should be
If you’re telling the truth, why do you try
to stop me from speaking?
Are you afraid that I’ll point out an undeniable
fact that contradicts your faith
if I’m given half a chance? "No, my beliefs
because I believe blindly that you must be the devil."
You’re so brainwashed that I can’t possibly
argue on any level.
You tried to have something banned again. That’s
time today you forgot that you don’t live in
the Vatican. That’s my word.
(Disclaimer: This is the standard disclaimer. I only
included it because some people look for any excuse to make a frivolous lawsuit
to any easy target. These are slightly abstracted presentations of my opinions.
I just want to get people to question everything we’ve been led to believe
our lives. If that’s a crime, then fuck you too.)