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There are a number of bad decisions and mistakes that critics can make when analyzing a subject, everything from blind bias to letting major spoilers slip. But the worst kind of critic transcends the basic and unintentional errors of poor analysis, lack of insight, or even just bad grammar. This special class of reviewer makes these mistakes intentionally; the Angry Reviewer wants you to know that everything is ruined forever. This kind of reviewer tends to pop up wherever fandom exists, and is not at all limited to video game culture. Everywhere people discuss webcomics, or movies, or really anything else at all, there will always be the Angry Reviewer. The Angry Reviewer may be vaguely amusing, with his spittle flying every which way, but far from being a reasonable response to bad games; his reviews exist simply to trash. For the Angry Reviewer, there are no good games, for the subject of every discussion is merely a bullseye to be aimed at. No careful thought process for this reviewer - merely a reloading of guns.
This class of reviewer is possibly the most maddening kind of critic. Merely poor reviewers may stoop to making their analysis more about themselves than their subject, and simply bad critics may make unfounded claims, but the Angry Reviewer - oh, there's another animal all together. Hyperbole and self-absorption are just part of the repertoire. The Angry Reviewer will use everything from anecdotes involving pig feces to outright lies to support his flawed analysis. The Angry Reviewer wants the world to know that this game sucks, and reality isn't going to get in the way of that. Not that any other game is better, but it seems that every part the reviewer's target is in some way maddening. Whether it's the fact that falling off a high point kills you, or that falling off that same high point doesn't kill you fast enough, or, in extreme cases, both at once, it hardly makes any difference. The Angry Reviewer isn't interested in whether these design decisions make sense in the context of the game design or not. He knows that every aspect of a game is bad - impartial analysis only gets in the way of the bile as it comes up the throat.
There are a number of obvious signs of the Angry Reviewer. The first and most immediately obvious is the heavy use of invective. Things aren't "bad", they're "f***ing bad". The Angry Reviewer also enjoys long paragraphs full of derogatory similes to describe the game. Parables involving dog feces are a favorite. The review will usually contain huge streams of prose, whose only purpose is to skewer and tear the object of his derision. If there is a positive aspect of the game to be noted, well, that just sets up another shortcoming. Other symptoms include spending more time deriding the abilities of the game's creators, discussing their own personal dislike of the game's genre in lieu of discussing the actual game, and just generally failing to talk about the actual subject at hand. Personal insults are the Angry Reviewer's bread and butter.
In all likelihood, the Angry Reviewer does not actually hate the thing he is reviewing. Point of fact, he's actually a fan - and he'll blast the everliving snot out of anyone who dares question that. Most often, he'll say that what he does is for everyone's benefit, that his wrath is merely uncovering the lies and half-truths of the gaming press, who only exist to slaver over every new offering that drops, still moist, from the mouths of their corporate overlords. The Angry Reviewer is a prophet, a soothsayer of the end times, proclaiming the truth to the ignorant masses. Or, failing that, he's just registering an unpopular opinion, and you're only disagreeing with him because he's not a part of the sheeplike masses - if you're very unlucky, he might use the word "sheeple."
Of course, all this isn't to say that some games aren't genuinely bad. But where the Angry Reviewer differs from the normal reviewer is in that where the normal reviewer simply talks about the reasons a game is poorly made and moves on, the Angry Reviewer wants to linger on the negative; he wants you to feel his pain. In the end, this is the single most defining characteristic about the Angry Reviewer, regardless of his chosen subject; everything in his work revolves solely around him.
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