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Ahhh, the Christmas season. In many people this prompts peaceful
contemplation and joy at being surrounded by family and friends. I get
those feelings around Armistice Day (call it Veteran's Day if you MUST), so
by the time of Christmas I must do something a little different from many.
This year I have determined that spotlighting characters richly deserving of
being placed as villains into an RPG, in order to beat them into submission,
is a very worthwhile thing. So abandon those 'peace and love' thoughts for
a little while, as I throw some repellent faces into yours!
First we have this insanely irritating mongrel:
Scrappy Doo. Upon his inclusion into
any title, the unfortunate truth is that he will become the kind of
adversary that likes to use traps all the time and run away a lot - all the
better to SPEAK frequently and get the player very eager to SHUT HIM UP!
Once he is finally brought to bay, his actual fighting techniques would
probably involve a lot of sending bigger, stupider foes in to distract the
player while he readies some grand scheme in the background.
Second we have one of the most annoying avian antagonists possible:
Woody.
This fowl little punk would of course throw his trademark laugh around at all times, and be another opponent constantly
dropping traps in the player's path - mostly wood-based items. He'd
probably have a surprisingly high HP count along with a good dodge ratio,
making the true battle a real pain. As poetic justice, perhaps a group of
Ents could come along and deliver the final blow.
Third we have all those filler villains from the old TMNT series. Finding
pictures of these morons was a lot harder than I anticipated, so I gave it
up. But everyone who remembers tuning in and seeing the TMNT actually
struggling with these generic goons (they had names, but the names don't
matter here) probably felt as I did: that these guys all deserved to sleep
with the fishes. So let's have a dark lord in an RPG hire them as security,
whereupon they'll go down easily, in reflection of their actual lack of
anything noteworthy to show in fighting aptitude.
Fourth we have the 'filler' between Garfield portions of Garfield &
Friends: US Acres. Someone
probably liked this bunch: otherwise they would've been cancelled, right? A
barnyard menagerie ought to be an interesting battle, with hay bales being
tossed indiscriminately and pitchforks aplenty. As a sop to anyone who DID
like these loudmouths, the whole setting can be a misunderstanding in trying
to find the MacGuffin of the plot, whereupon after beating this cast into
submission information is exchanged and no hard feelings remain. Or not.
Fifth we have one of the most insufferable know-it-alls to grace the
screen: Sherman and Mr. Peabody. Sure,
these two were kinda funny from time to time, but they more than cancelled
it out by being so insufferably superior about it (principally the canine,
although Sherman got annoying to listen to). As villains there is ENORMOUS
potential in this setup: running around environments set askew in the wilds
of time travel isn't terribly original but can always be fun. How to fight
these two is a good question; probably some fiendish machine with multiple
parts that regenerate. A tough fight against a worthy adversary.
That's all for today! Perhaps next time I can indulge in HUMAN adversaries
to beat the insufferable crap out of in virtual form; it won't happen thanks
to the very real risk of lawsuits, but I can dream.
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