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When last we left Steve and Clara, they were celebrating their victory over the Evil King, and set to tie the proverbial knot. The lands safe, the bad guys trounced, our heroes prepared to settle in for a nice, relaxing vacation, as far away from hero work as was humanly possible. Lord knows they've earned it.
Unfortunately for them, the company wasn't done making money yet.
A sequel was greenlit. Frightening rumors in hushed tones; an evil presence chained beneath the earth; dark secrets of an ancient race, long since forgotten; a calendar one year away from rolling into four digits; darker, grittier heroes, armed with guns, leather, a 5 o'clock shadow, and a talking scorpion sidekick from Wisconsin.
Fortunately for us, someone bought the series from Ubisoft at the last minute.
Anyway, word gets around to Steve and Clara that Evil Things Are On The Way, as they tend to be in the year 999. A chance visit to the King's Seer reveals the nature of this darkness - a foul demon, bested a thousand years ago by a cadre of the world's greatest heroes, imprisoned in a hidden tomb for all eternity, far to the west. Our heroes and the king's men find the tomb, prepared to send the fiend back into its cage when it wakes.
Which leaves the kingdom woefully unprepared for the Viking invasion coming from the other direction. Apparently, the Seer can't quite sense more mundane sources of impending doom.
Steve and Clara return to find the kingdom's capital city razed virtually to the ground, the king missing and many of his subjects dead. They are instantly beset by the foreign invaders, and are forced to flee from the ruined capital before they can do much more than rescue a token few survivors. As they regroup with what's left of the army, Steve and Clara are left to ponder what to do next.
They're also slightly curious how their lands can be beset by invaders from Europe, considering there is no Europe in their world.
That night, Steve wakes from a confusing, eerily prophetic dream, a dream of a possible future; he witnessses the death of his beloved Clara at the hands of the Viking leader (whom, for simplicity's sake, we shall refer to as Zippy). Fearing that this may indeed be the future, he struggles with himself over whether to tell her to stay behind or stay with him.
Her being the brains of the bunch, she convinces him to opt for the latter, under the reasoning that leaving her behind in Viking-infested countryside isn't a smart idea either.
Battle is joined! The remnants of the king's army clash with the European invaders, giving Steve and Clara time to confront Zippy. The duel is spectacular, to say the least; parry, thrust, spin and counter, blocks and blades, shields and swords. Every ounce of Steve's mettle is tested against his massive opponent, and only with Clara's aid is he able to keep up the fight - "I told you so"-worthy, if anything ever was. Suddenly, Zippy breaks away from Steve and strikes at Clara, killing her instantly.
Or, apparently killing her instantly. See, actually telling someone the contents of a prophetic dream kind of helps, as opposed to simply asking them to sit back and be useless. Yeah, I'm looking right at you, Neo.
Steve lands the fatal blow, slaying his opponent. Zippy's death demoralizes the remaining Vikings, who are thus rounded up in short order by the kingdom forces. In the ruins of the castle, they discover the body of the king, slain by pure, unrefined plot contrivance. After funerals, a brief mourning period, and an episode of CHiPs, the rules of succession are thrown out the window and Steve is appointed King, with Clara as his Queen. End scene, cue credits.
Meanwhile, outside the castle, the camera zooms in on a passing dog, who shifts its eyes suspiciously back and forth as suspenseful music begins to swell.
Fortunately for perhaps everyone involved, the company bankrupts itself on a spin-off series entitled "Scorpion's Mysterious Packers Game". The series is cut short, and they all lived happily ever after. Except for Siegfried, the scoprion-slash-cheesehead with an attitude and a heart of gold, who, a lazy Illinoisian would later ponder, was too beautiful for this world.
The End. Question mark.
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