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I have written two editorials for RPGamer, and let's just say, they haven't been received well. And with good reason; why should anyone have to understand literary incontinence? Lately my radar has been broken, and I'm stranded somewhere between doubt and loneliness. Technology evolves and so does my favourite genre: the RPG. Once a genre that couldn't barely raise an eyebrow overseas and almost became something of a computer game myth. Like a stubborn hypocrite, I'm still not sure (nor happy) now that RPG's have found their common ground with mainstream video games. All I can do is complain, and feel like the only one. It is lonely feeling missunderstood, and sentimental value is something I've never willingly taken in my stride. Yet, something bizarre happened to me. An unexpected miracle, perhaps.
I watched one of the sweetest things ever recently; my eight year old sister is besotted with Suikoden II. Alarm for social services? No. Frankly, I don't see what RPG's can damage in the imagination of a child that Disney films like Bambi haven't already.
Sure, my sister edges towards annoying me by constantly jabbering on about statistics and levelling up, but to sit and watch her take in the story that I came to belove, was just moving. She's squealed with laughter from the energetic Nanami and often imitates her (although, she doesn't understand why I laugh at the irony) She's immensely enjoyed the battles, and once told me with the widest smile that the meaning of friendship was "To unite with your best friend against an enemy." But then there are the narrowing, more questionable side to allowing her to embrace this new style of childhood; she shrivelled with anger and shock at the sight of the demonic Luca Blight mercilessly murdering the villagers of Ryube and endearingly vowed to avenge the parents of Pilika - she shed a tear when the little girl lost her voice and so I did for the first time.
Slowly, she ploughs through the game and jollies herself at the comical duo, Flik and Viktor -although with a red face, she adamantly stamps she doesn't have a crush on Flik, and hilariously tars his would be beau teen Nina as 'pathetic'. As she progresses through the story, my love for RPGs forgets to flounder and the cyncism I began to adopt is vanquished by the reminder of my own innocence. Get this - she handles most of the events with such ease and nobility. Yes, perhaps it down to that she's not emotionally old enough to be coherent, but boy there is a little heroic nature inside of her that I simply adore! But, it nearly ended for her. Not that she was repeatedly defeated by some random enemy or a big bad boss - she's too earnest for that. I just wasn't sure if I could actually let her go any further. Then I remember all the times I sneaked, or was just allowed to watch movies way beyond my age. I compromised to sit with her during the fight with Luca Blight, if there was a facade, it was that while she was quaking with excitement to 'take him out!', I was quivering with fear that my once adorable little sister was either going to shriek with fright or that she was going to brutally thrash this monster in her first attempt. She didn't, but her brassy nature made sure that she relished that she almost did on one occasion. Her neologism of insults for Luca still continue to make my heart strings tickle with laughter.
All of her early acolades sent a hard hitting reminder to why I love RPGs. I remember playing Secret Of Mana for hours on end when I was her age. I vividly remember how young I was when I fell in love with Marle from Chrono Trigger, in the exact way I got all blushy with Ariel from the Little Mermaid (and yes, I am mad). Then I recall with fondness when my tastes started to mature, Final Fantasy was my cushion when I'd fallen from grace. I was lavished by gripping characters and gritty stories, and I chewed it like it was my last meal. I love the stories these games can tell. I love the characters that I'll probably never forget whilst I try to decide which one I love more. And I understand my own bitterness recently; I just need to grow up from the roots of RPG's. I'm eighteen and technically, I shouldn't be enjoying games such as Harvest Moon and Dark Cloud 2, but I do. And nothing will blemish that. Again, my eight year old sister proves that in a few years time, she will be a lot wiser than this pious fool.
"How can Yuna be pathetic if she was chosen to save the world?" She quipped. I froze. "Because, she is annoying!" I shot back. "So's your whining." She mocked, and returned to choosing her favourite costume in Final Fantasy X-2. "It's just a game, big bro." She was right, but this whining brat would never dare to tell her so.
So I bought Kingdom Hearts, the ultimate collboration between two great childhood entities: Square and Disney. Disney carries the children through to puberty, where Square preys on them? No? Whatever the case, I discovered something special in that game. My childhood was there, my memories and so was the spirit of both companies. I wonder who loves the game more? Children or teenagers? My sister, or me? I realised, even if it's just my opinion, that RPG's are something of a collective range of fairy tales. And the icing on the nostalgia cake was the sublime Dark Cloud 2, which I bought for my little sister before she's ready and old enough to understand why Aeris was murdered. What really silences my quibbles about RPG's waning the most is the concept of change I had waffled on about in the first place. What came across as catty remarks and bashing was just my own anger at the media, and fear of loss. Maybe I would like RPG's to stay in it's comfortable little shell instead of making even more groundreaking titles that may fail. Maybe I'm a younger old fashioned fool.
The games I played, the cliched plots that I love and the characters I'll never forget - they'll still be there. Somewhere. In my heart or just simply in my game collection, they are immortalised there. I try so hard to refute media response and forget the valid reason why it's futile: I don't actually care what the media thinks if I love a game so much. I have enough dignity that I still don't like some of the 'unique' RPG productions lately, but I shouldn't condemn the creators of my chidlhood memories either. My sister giggles as I type this because she's still one of those enticed by the cliches, she's playing Kingdom Hearts and her eyes tell me she's in love with the game as Goofy says something... goofy. And I'm tingled with pride that when her friends prance around in the playground at school, pretending to be "Buffy", my little sister is leaping above them with high kicks and home made nunchucks out of paper, declaring as herself as the "almighty Nanami." They have no clue who this child is, and what drivel she spews, but she and I do. Surely, that's the most priceless effect an RPG can have, no? In my sister's charming and welcoming spirit, I have come to bury my own hatchett with change and my door is opened.
Because deep down, no matter what, I'll always love the world RPG's exist in. And if this isn't coherent, then it's because sentimental value is something I've never willingly taken in my stride.
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