Parasites

by Joseph Witham

There are many different types of parasites in our world. Be they the viruses and bacterium that slowly destroy our health, or the worms and larvae that feed off of our insides, or the mosquitoes and leeches that suck our blood, they are all the same in the end. They benefit from their life-giving hosts only to turn around and cause them serious harm or death. What one must realize, though, is that parasitism isn't limited to animals; humans, too, excel at it.

In relation to my own life, I have had contact with some of the worst parasitic human beings. I make my living by serving at a local restaurant. Making only $2.13 an hour isn't going to pay my bills, so I rely on tips for my income. What starts out as a beneficial symbiotic relationship between me and my customers usually ends that way when they leave a decent or generous tip. However, occasionally, I have the misfortune of waiting on parasites. You know, the customers who come in, receive timely, flawless service, and then leave without so much as leaving me a penny for all the work that was put into making them feel like kings and queens. Thus, I am harmed by not having enough money to cover my expenses, and they return home nourished and ready for another day of parasitism.

People who choose not to tip are far from the only forms of parasitic humans. Video game developers, too, are victims to countless parasites. I'd like to zero in on one recent parasitic phenomenon in the gaming scene that has run out of control. I'm talking about the release of the English review copy of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, which, released almost a month ago to people Square Enix thought they could trust, has been ripped from its cartridge, uploaded to the web, and disseminated to thousands of potential parasites.

I'm going to tell you point blank that this editorial isn't about piracy. It's about parasites. Thus, to all those who downloaded the ROM, played it, loved it, and bought or will eventually buy it, I could care less that you played an "illegal" version of the game. You've done the right thing by being benefited by the game's developers and then returning them the favor by purchasing the game. However, among the thousands of people who downloaded the ROM, there is a minority that will never pay for the entertainment they received, thus indirectly stealing the royalty that should have gone to the developers.

Again, this editorial isn't about piracy. So don't bother me with comments like "It won't hurt overall sales," or "Square Enix doesn't deserve the money because it only appeals to the masses," or "People who couldn't afford it will be able to play it." I don't give a damn if any of those statements are entirely true or full of crap, because I'm not here to discuss the loopholes of piracy. It's not even so much a matter of money, it's about showing your respect to the people who literally devoted their lives to creating a game that would bring you pleasure, and the money is a symbol of that resect. If you're scum enough to deny them that respect, then your worthless existence belongs with the tapeworms.

Obviously, this doesn't only apply to Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. The video game industry is brimming with parasites. It's like a disease. Wouldn't it be great if there was a vaccine for all these people? Oh, well, I guess viruses will be viruses and leeches will be leeches. Nonetheless, I will still share my own personal message to any parasite who may be reading this: pay for your entertainment or get out of gaming for good, you bastard.

Just to make sure we're clear on one point, if Square Enix sent you a free, legit copy of the review version of the game, then obviously you already paid for the game by advertising it on your site or in your publication.