My God can Beat Up Your God

by Brad Lohr, surprisingly enough

My comments in bold, italic text.

Dear Mr. Lohr,

Don't call me dear, I'm not dear to you in any way, shape or form. If you're going to do a business letter, do it in a real business style. If you're going to do an informal letter, do it in an informal style, don't mix your margaritas, boy.

I am very disturbed by the opening contents of your column today. I will tell you straight up front that I am a Christian, and I assume that you are not. Please tell me why denying same-sex marriages would be "so bigoted and downright wrong." You do not think that such behavior is abhorent?

Much to the surprise of people like you, I find this behavior completely and totally NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Who are you to decide what is right, and what is wrong? You take an interpretation of the Bible which is clouded by other people's interpretations. Here's an easy one, though. The Bible says not to judge, but to leave that to God himself. So get off yer soapbox, and be humble. That's in the Bible too.

Let me give you two reasons why homosexuality is wrong:

1. The Bible says so. Yes, I know you quite explicitly said you don't care what the Bible has to say, and unfortunately too many people your age have taken that aggregious attitude. But the point is that God created us--and before you start shouting evolution, think about just how cosmically lucky mankind would have to be for everything to have been created just right for our species but be entirely a random coincidence of nature! God created us, and He set down certain laws, many of which concern marriage. He decided long ago that a true marriage would be between a God-fearing man & a God-fearing woman, and that any other "union" would be as intolerable as someone screwing a barnyard animal. Read Deuteronomy sometime.

And I'm sure you think that women teachers are blasphemous as well. In the Bible it clearly states that men should not learn from women. You can't choose which parts of the Bible fit what you want it to hear. Take it all and say that every part of the Bible is correct, and get them women outta classrooms with men in them, or say "Times Change, sometimes we have to adjust" and let two people alone who just want your stupid eyes off their lives.

2. Life says so. You can argue with me about God's existence until His Son comes back, but there is no way on earth that you can deny that Life itself rejects homosexuality. Can two men produce a baby? How about two women? The answer, of course, is NO! If Life had meant for us to "do our own thing," then we would be able to reproduce homosexually.

Funny how most mammalian species have some form of homosexual behavior in which they regularly and normally include in their social groups. Monkeys do it, Dolphins do it, and just because two men can't have a baby, that doesn't mean that they're wrong. It just means that they don't have the physical compatibility to have children. Some women become infertile through natural causes, are you saying that because she cannot have children, that she is wrong in the eyes of God? Maybe God doesn't want her to have children. Maybe God doesn't want gay people to have children either. Most of them don't, you know. They realize that that's a part of their life and they get on with it, because they can't be as happy trying to be with people of the opposite sex. They're PEOPLE TOO, you know.

I'd like to make something clear, Mr. Lohr. I'm not bashing you for corrupt morals, or misguided ideals, or anything like that. That is Satan's and our government's fault. I am merely trying to let you know that what you said is wrong. You should care about what the Bible says, about anything, not just sexuality. It's not just the church's business, it's everyone's. And it isn't about one religion writing the laws for everyone; that'll be the New World Order's business. It's about one eternal God who created each and every one of us. He set down the laws, not our 'religion.' He loves us, and it hurts Him whenever we act like this or allow Satan to rule our lives.

One of my best friends is Christian, and I totally respect that. He's a smart guy. He's made that choice, and I can't tell him he's wrong, because I'm agnostic. I don't know that he's wrong, and I don't know that your belief in God is wrong. But I'll tell you what, based on the evidence you provide, your LOGIC is wrong, homey. It stinks like last night's dinner, left to rot. You've read parts of the Bible, but only the parts that say what you want. You try to evoke emotions about being gay not being "right", when what you mean is that being gay isn't right FOR YOU. Hey.. it's not right for me either, but I'm not gonna around town and tell other people what they can, or can't do, with their lives. One of the basic tenets of the Bible is that God gave us free choice, and if others choose to be homosexual, they do it with God's permission, so leave them the hell alone.

I'm very sorry if you perceive this as "ruining other's fun," but life is not about fun. Just ask anyone twenty years older than you. All I am trying to do is tell you what I know to be right. It certainly is your choice, no argument there, but I pray that you take to heart what I've said and re-examine your attitude.

YOUR life isn't about fun. You intend to be holier than all of us, and I think you have every right to try and do that, but the real sad part of this story is that you're just repeating things that have been told to you, not thinking on your own. 40 years ago we denied black people the right to go in the same bathroom as white people, and one of the backing lines behind that was because in the Bible, it mentions that they were meant to be servants in some way or another. I don't have the verse with me, I'm replying at work, and I'm short a Bible on my desk. I love tolerant Christians, ones who have a belief, and they follow it. Ones that respect the rights of other people who don't believe what they do. You see, if someone doesn't believe in your religion, they don't care how much you go off about God loving them. They don't believe in that. And while I believe it's completely within the rights of a church to not acknowledge the marraige of two same-sex people, I believe that this is way out of line at the state law level.

Brad Lohr, RPGamer Columnist and (usually) political apathetic practitioner.

Note: These comments are made in a forum open to opinion, and neither reflect the views of anyone other than myself personally, nor any establishment that they're displayed on, including, but not limited to, RPGamer.com. If you've got a problem with my statements, they're completely personal, and yes, I wrote this disclaimer with the help of nothing but "Legal Writing for RPGamer Columnists, v3.2" copyright FU2 Inc.

Original Editorial: A Rebuttal to Brad Lohr's comments in the Ask the Oracle column for March 10, 2000.