Many of you do not know me, and for that, I suggest a pen and paper. Now, take this pen and paper, and calmly toss it out the window. This will be on the test. Which hit the ground first? The pen, or the paper? If you circled neither, then congratulations. You remembered you need both the pen and paper to answer the following questions. Now, question one: Who am I? If you've selected "I don't know" please turn your papers over, and try again. Question Two: Is Question One relevent to Question Two. If you selected A, you are correct and may move five spaces forward on the board. You have encountered a sleeping dragon. Do you A.) Proceed with caution, B.) Pick a fight, C.) Run away! or D.) Summon David Bowie. If you selected A, B, or C, thank you for playing. The Sleeping Dragon has awoken and devoured your innards. Only if you had chosen the awesome power of Bowie to defeat your would-be foe... Moving along.

After using the might of David Bowie, you surpass the realm of dragons onto the far more dangerous grounds of the mysterious 80's hairband, DOKKEN. They immediately rock into a rendition of Dream Warriors. Their hit song from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3. The high-pitch wail of their musical taunts force you to awaken, covered in sweat, and little else. It was merely a dream, but standing above you is a ridiculously good looking figure, holding a wooden sword and patting his pockets. He's hungry, he is me. "Feed me," I say. And feed me you shall, all will give to the great Elder God Ty. Virgins, pez, and virgins made out of pez, are gladly accepted. In truth, I am an enigma wrapped in sexy. A cool latin breeze, only minus the latin. Maybe I should've said gypsy breeze, but that sounds like I'm trying to steal your money. Which is too difficult to do online, of course! Unless I figure out a way to set up a Paypal account and...

I digress, my reasons for being here remain unknown even to me. A fluke? Perhaps. It may even be that Lady Fate was looking down on me, for she is a wise and unforgiving goddess. Or is it a fickle mistress? It could very well be both. Whichever of the two it happens to be, I know one thing. If there is any warrent for my being here, it is this: to dance.

If for some reason you need to contact me, I have AIM: Ty the Pope is where I'm at.
You'd have better luck with MSN Messenger, though: Team_Cactaur@hotmail.com.