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RPGuru
Yeah, yeah, AK is back and stuff
  In the PSX
  Sadly, nothing -- no PSX in my dorm room
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  Send those burning questions 'n comments to AK, for now

...is AK?! Yes, it's me, your old buddy Andrew Kaufmann. You thought you were rid of me, didn't you. You thought you'd never read my bizarre viewpoints again. You thought wrong!

Your resident RPGuru, Allan, has ditched town for a weekend or so a bit earlier than expected, but don't worry, he'll be back. I'm not on RPGamer staff either, just freelancing a little bit and helping some old buds out a little bit. Rumor has it Allan was actually kidnapped by a rabid monkey, but we can't confirm that at this time. Calls to Sony of America revealed that nobody has any comment on anything. Not even on President Clinton. Coincidence? Unlikely. (And as long as we're on the subject of conspiracies, no, I am not Rosebud.)

Allan, if you're reading this, don't worry. I won't mess up all the hard work you've done to make this column kick bootie again.

I won't completely mess it up, that is. Not tonight, anyway. But don't worry, there's always tomorrow!

First, I want to disprove your bigger bridges, better futures theory. After all, Final Fantasy V had a bridge so great and... um, big, that they called it, well... "Big Bridge". From that perspective, things have gone downhill since. Maybe size doesn't mat... agh! I can't bring myself to say it its so damn cheesy!

-KusoDaimyo-

AK: And on that Big Bridge we found the mighty Gilgamesh, which gives the Big Bridge that extra boost to be upgraded a Truly Great Bridge. Can any bridge in FF6 or 7 compare? I'd have to say no. I'll listen to any disagreements, but I'd have to say the Big Bridge renders the Bridge Theorem false.

A Glipse into the Future

Id like to comment on the use of angel imagery in the final enemy... It seems to be a popular image these days, but it's quite simple to see why. More and more RPGs come out, and each one tries to one-up the one before by presenting some sort of creature higher up on the power scale. I suppose one could say that a god would have more power than a demon, and the continuous references to angels, like Kefka and Sephiroth, are to show that their power has become so great that they are nothing short of a deity. In addition, both of these bosses have a singular attack which represents a "judgement day", the ultimate attack which can completely destroy everything (even though, for obvious reasons, it may blow up a planet but can't scratch Cloud)... Personally, I'm less interested in the villians of the past and more interested in the villians of the future... so I pose to you this question: After seeing all of these final villians representing divine power itself, where do we have left to go? I think it will be interesting to see what new concepts game designers come up with in the next year to come.

[needle]

AK: I'd have to agree with that viewpoint, even though I personally found Chaos pretty intimidating, he messed around with time and was really, really, ugly to boot.

Now, for the future... I haven't tried predicting the future ever since I smashed my crystal ball with a baseball bat after the Cowboys-Broncos game (I had a lunch bet riding on that game, but the crystal ball failed me), but I'll try anyway.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the faires... no, hrms. That won't do either. I'll just have to make stuff up off the top of my head. One option would be for game designers to go back to the devilish-ghoul sort of enemy. With the improved graphics on the Playstation, I bet those fellas could make one REALLY ugly sonuvagun if they tried. No, I will not model for it. Another option would be to give Zelda II: The Adventures of Link a nod and have the main character fight himself, symbolically (well, not really symbolically, more like, straight out) defeating the beast from within.

Personally, though, I'd like to see our FF8 heroes fight a giant enchilada. Is there any food out there more disgusting than an enchilada? I don't think so.

Mission: Pokémon

Okay. I've been on quite a few Pokémon sites, and I keep seeing these codes for Pok&eacutre;mon such as, "Duplicating a Pokémon" and "Making a Pokémon level 100". Now I've tried these codes, and they do not work. My question is, are these codes real, or just made for the Japanese version of the game? And, if they are for the Japanese version only, do you know where I could find codes for the American version? Thanks!

--A Pokémon fan

AK: First and foremost, I've got to admit that I know absolutely nothing about Pokémon. Not a thing. I know it's for the Gameboy, and Nintendo makes you buy two copies if you want to be truly cool.

That said, I'll take a couple of guesses and open the floodgates for yall to send me a better answer. First guess: are these codes Game Genie codes, or straightforward codes you enter into the game? Not having a Game Genie would make using Game Genie codes difficult. Second guess: Are you entering them correctly? (Yeah, yeah, it's lame, but I'll check anyway.) Third guess: like you said, different version, different code. Anyone that knows definitively feel free to write on in.

Tokyo Talk

I was wondering why you're not going to the Tokyo Game Show. It's got many new RPGs that will be shown. Is anyone from RPGamer going to it? IF so which people and will they put up coverage on this site?

Just wondering.

TurkeyBoy

AK: RPGamer had every intention of getting exclusive, up to the minute coverage from Tokyo, but unfortunately, the plans fell through at the last minute. They stuck Glick in a suitcase and he rode comfortably in the cargo bay of an Air Canada airplane. Unfortunately, customs inspectors in Los Angeles found him while he was making odd noises while trying to not go to the bathroom in his pants. Those darned customs inspectors confiscated the suitcase, though, so Glick couldn't even smuggle himself back to Canada. Last we heard he was trying to thumb a ride back to Toronto, and he had made it all the way to Nevada. Good luck buddy.

As for actual coverage, IGN has people on the scene and they'll be feeding IGN sites coverage, so fear not, as you can see, we have some cool stories up.

*Grumble*

How come all the other 'interaction' areas haven't been updated in so long? Does the rest of the staff all have severe 'AK Syndrome' or something? And how come you're immmune? Did that nasty cold or whatever you had render you immune? Or did you put 'em under quarantine?

Bikke the Pirate

AK: I bet you weren't banking on ME answering this question. Anyway, I wasn't THAT lazy... just busy! And stuff! Leave me alone! *makes little crying noises*

Anyway, there were some cool Interaction updates today. Check out the brand spanking new editorials and music, dude.

Allan, you dog you

Marvel _AND_ MST 3K! Do you have a girlfriend? If not, I'm available...

AK: Hey uh I like Marvel and MST3K too! Um, go, like, Superman and stuff, and boy that robot makes some good jokes! Haha! I'm available! You know my email address!

In all seriousness though, last I checked (which was.. last week?), our dashing Allan was attached to a young lady. Sorry to dissappoint, ladies.

Quick 'n Dirty Tidbits: Jonathan Weng asks 101 questions (Next time I have a spare 17 hours to spend, I'll get back to you, I'm putting that email in my "answer later" folder), Rich Green points out PC Games Magazine included Ultima IV with it once (cool beans), JeremyGuy the avid chocobo eater says chocobos taste like Cho-co Puffs (I prefer Cocoa Crispies), someone asks where's coverage of Landstalkers (I ate it), BL the avid chocobo eater says chocobos taste like chicken (I think one of you is lying to me), the Red Scare supports reading (make a PSA (but it's been a bad day(if you catch my bizarre reference, I'll be very impressed(is there a rule/limit for number of embedded parenthetical statements?)))).

That Quick 'n Dirty Tibdits thing is kinda fun. Nice thinkin Allan! Anyway, peace out for the evening. Have a good one.

- Andrew Kaufmann

"Yellow like a geisha gown. Shaking through."

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