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Allan Milligan

Well, a somewhat calmer response passel of letters to peruse tonight. Thanks go out to everyone who wrote in, especially so to those who wished me luck with this job - much appreciated. I've added a new section at the end, called Quick 'n Dirty Tidbits, so I can handle a whole slew of questions in a minimum of space.

But, of course, an RPGuru column isn't complete until my toes are clear down my throat, so I now take the time to correct myself: yesterday, I claimed that my favourite song was a country and western song called Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw. This was incorrect - as several readers pointed out, the song is actually called "A Love Song (From a Different Point of View)", and it's by Jimmy Buffet, who's not actually a country 'n western singer. This, of course, is what I get for falling in love with a song I've only ever heard on a mix tape. Thanks for all those that corrected me, and since I'm apparently a Buffet fan and don't know it, feel free to recommend albums for me to pick up.

Oh, and before we get to the letters, let me remind everyone that I'm still looking for the One Big Thing you'd like to change about Square's games. I've got a whole bunch, but I'm keeping them stored away until tomorrow, when I'll choose the best of 'em for a big blowout. So get your suggestions in! Yes, even you, Beppo!

Q: hey I hate to tell you but I hate Canadians. They are in general obnoxious and they can't talke. I mean whats up with eh and the way they pronounce o. Plus is it just me or are there a bunch of canadians working for rpgamer. Its like one quits and they get a new one. Too many canadians in this world thats for sure.
- monkey bulosh

Allan: Oddly enough, I have received four letters to this effect within the past twenty-four hours. Buh-zarre, eh? I don't have the slightest idea what they're all so hyped up aboot. I guess they just need a good Molson Canadian to soothe their nerves. Eh.

Q: I have a question concerning the game Ogre Battle (Not a game play question.) In the game's introduction, it mentions that Ogre Battle: March of the black Queen is Episode 5. Do you have any info on the previous 4 Ogre Battles, whether or not they were really games or was the Ogre Battle series made the same way the Star Wars series was, by starting it in a later episode in the series?

Also, is Harvest Moon an RPG by your standards? I see it is not in the games section. I'll admit Harvest Moon is a pretty off-the-wall RPG, but its an RPG nonetheless.

Allan: Quest, makers of Ogre Battle and Tactics Ogre, have taken a George Lucas-esque approach to the Ogre Battle saga. As you noticed, OB is Episode Five. Tactics Ogre is Episode Seven ("Let Us Cling Together"). And the upcoming N64 installment, whose section at RPGamer has been updated just recently incidentally, is Episode Six. Eventually, Quest intends to release a full set of chapters, out of order, which will form some sort of overarching plotline and/or theme. Very ambitious, very interesting.

Harvest Moon... interesting question. I'm told that it's being considered a life sim game, rather than an RPG, for our purposes, so I'm afraid it won't be covered on RPGamer. Sorry.

Q: Heyo! I'm responding to the letter that stated that Parasite Eve was based on a 'book entitled Hideaka Sena "Parasite Eve"'. Well, this is incorrect. Actually, Sena Hideaki is the author, and the book is titled 'Parasaito Ibu' (Parasite Eve). I don't mean to be a nitpick, but I just wanted to straighten out the information.

David Green

Allan: Thanks for the clarification, David.

Q: First of all, how many people suggested RPGuru? I know I did, and Mike wrote back saying that Big Lick also thought of the name... (great minds think alike). Were there any more? Second of all, are you ever going to take year long leaves like AK used to, leaving Glick in charge? Lastly, I can't think of a third question.

~ The Mysterious Moe


Allan: A few people suggested the RPGuru name, often independently. Brian Glick's the one who sold me on the name, for my part. There were other suggestions (I suggested "I Pity the Foo Who Don't Read These Letters"), but RPGuru was short, succinct, and catchy. Second, no, I'm not going to take any long leaves, if I can help it. I don't expect a major break in my updates until late August of '99. And lastly, ook.

Q: Have you heard any new info on Lufia 3 lately? I loved the first two,even though they were a bit easy. Also,do you think Nintendo will make the new Earthbound on cart now that things don't look good for the 64DD?

Allan: Lufia 3 still appears to be in limbo, due to cash flow problems of the original developer, Taito. Natsume, who have translated the previous two games for US release, is tight-lipped about the matter, but have left the game on their '99 schedule, for a fourth quarter release. What's going on? Nobody's talking. Check the RPGamer news archives for more details.

Earthbound 64 is now confirmed for release in a 256-megabit (32 MB) cartridge, similar to Zelda 64. As to what this says about the 64DD, well, let's just say that its future isn't looking very bright.

Q: I was playing Final Fantasy 7 recently and came to wonder, what is the current Gill to American Dollar exchange rate? I checked several newspapers but could not find the answer. Thankyou.

-the toaster

Allan: According to the Midgar Home Journal, September '98 issue, the Gil-to-US Dollar exchange rate currently stands at 42 Gil to one dollar. In related news, the Brooklyn Bridge has been sold for exactly six million Gil to a short, fat man answering to the name of Palmer. More as we get it.

Q: Sheesh, my one little question about Square bashing sure drew a response from other people. Kind of makes ya' feel warm inside. Anyway: PokeMon, Nintendo's Game Boy UberRPG, has been wildly successful (one of the top selling games ever there), mainly due to the collect, raise, trade, and fight aspect of the game. But, I think this great game might be wrongfully ingnored here in North America. People might think the game is stupid. This game with all it's great aspects (gotta love the different version idea; pure genius) might be passed by just because it's a Game Boy game. What are your thoughts on it?

Allan: I think it's an interesting-looking game, and while Game Boy's an old system, it's still an all-time heavyweight champ in terms of staying power in the gaming industry. I mean, someone developed Game Boy Sonar, for chrissakes. Sonar. As in, to track down fish as their swimming. Pokemon's success all depends on how Nintendo markets it, IMO. I think it has a good shot at being a smash hit if they push it as a sort of Tamogotchi on steroids, emphasizing the raising of the monsters, and its portability. There's a huge GB user base out there, and I don't think its importance can be ignored. But time will tell, I guess.

Q: Two cats are um... copulating on my trash can. They've been repeating this action for the past week. How can I get rid of them?

-The Red Scare

Allan: I find that keeping a decent-size water pistol or a sprayer nozzle on a garden hose work best for dealing with this sort of thing. If they start getting it on, let 'em have it, aiming away from the head (don't want to accidentally blind or otherwise injure them). It'll scare the hell out of them, and if you give them this treatment enough times, they'll either move or vent their sexual frustration by taking up needlepoint or something.

That, or drop a rabid otter into the trash can. Either way will work, though the ASPCA probably wouldn't care for the latter...

Quick 'n Dirty Tidbits: Nybbas asked if Ogre Battle 3 was coming for PSX (not planned, but a port by a third party is possible), Inferna wondered about Parasite Eve for PC (no plans at present), Jesse Sweetland commented that thumbnails of fan art rock (they do), Roger Lawson wanted to buy the FF8 demo (not for sale), Rich Clough asked about the FF anime (available at most hobby stores, and some video chains - ask the clerk about it), Unright asked whether learning spoilers as part of working at RPGamer is annoying (I've yet to be badly spoiled, but I remember AndrewK, at the very least, becoming very angry when he first had the Aeris death spoiled for him), an angry drunk guy tells me angrily that the "no old FFs for PC" part in the Square FAQ's been there for months (guess I missed it), and I)aeI)alus wonders why all FF main characters start off working for the villains (I guess Square's just big on redemption of heroes). Whew.

That wraps it up for another edition of RPGuru, updated before midnight for once. Miracles never cease, I tell you. :) Keep those letters coming, and stay groovy. Night, all.

- Allan Milligan, sweatin' to the oldies

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