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Well, it looks like that time has finally come. Andrew
Kaufmann is returning to host Q&AK! My name is Brian Glick, and I've been the
temporary host of this column for the past week or two. I've had a great
time hosting, especially with the wonderful fans there are out there
reading this. I've learned a lot, and hopefully I'll be back to host
next time Andy decides that becoming a teen idol for his adoring female
fans is more important than hosting this column. (Hey...wait. He may
have something going there...)
Anyway, look for me around the rest of RPGamer,
especially once we get full swing into reader reviews and I get to
force--err, share my opinion with you some more. Enjoy the latest
installment of Q&BG! (No, that never DID sound right...)
I am a huge fan of rpgamer.com, truly the best RPG site on the entire
However, one thing troubles me. You have the script for Secret of Mana,
Chrono Trigger, and several other games, but not FF7 or Secret of
Sure, for FF7 you've got translations but that doesn't satisfy me
I don't really care about SoE, but if you have any
plans on getting a
complete script to FF7 like you did Secret of Mana (I like that format
better than Chrono Trigger's script format) and Chrono Trigger, please
me know. If not, do you have any idea where I could find one?
If you get one, I'll give you something in return. I'll
reload your page
over and over again and skyrocket the number of hits. How about that?
Unfortunately, we didn't write the scripts ourselves. Other selfless
fans with far more time on their hands painstakingly typed out the
dialogue of the games as they went through it, key after key after
key...(I'm getting tired already).
If any devoted fan wishes to write a script for FF7, it
would be more than welcome, and legends of the writer would be sung for
days in the halls of RPGamer.
One::: Are you scared by Shinra, Inc.'s Corporate
Site... because the fact that such a company would exist outside of
FF7 is kinda strange... We'd better call Mulder and Scully because this
is X Files material... Or should I say Materia??? (Insert stupid rim shot
Two::: Why was a playable Janus removed from the US
Chrono Trigger??? Or did he even exist in the Japanese version???
Three::: Did you notice I've used 42 punctuation marks
in this letter??? This includes apostrophes and whatever else is not a
letter or a number or a space...
Whoa! That's a shocking site, to say the least. Could Shinra really
exist somewhere in the world, and no one knows of their existence, until
The Job Opportunities section there is particularly
humorous...I especially like the offering for "Data Librarian Level 4".
It looks like this website was put together by some fans with quite a bit
of creativity (not to mention time).
I think you've been hearing rumors, my friend. Unless
I've been sorely mistaken, there's absolutely no way you can play as
Janus (or Schala, for that matter) in either version of Chrono Trigger.
Of course, you can always play as an older Janus...
No, I didn't notice you used 42 punctuation marks in
this letter. Umm...congratulations. =)
How the heck is "Cid" supposed to be pronounced? I've always pronounced
it like the name Sid, but in the Final Fantasy anime (dubbed version)
"Mid" is pronounced Meed. So is it pronounced Sid or Seed? (Or, possibly,
Kid or Keed for that matter).
That's a good question. I've always pronounced it "Sid" myself, and I
imagine the vast majority of the North American market has as well. But
then...I always thought it was "Mid" as well, instead of "Meed". Anyone
knowledgeable in Japanese translation want to inform AK of the answer?
As I was playing FF Tactics, I stumbled across many things from previous
in the FF series, such as the Ghost Train from FF6, the Tower of Babel
FF4(?), and the Mirage Tower from FF1. I also noted that when you go
the steps to get Cloud, a character from FF7, he comes by way of time
I think it could be possible that the FF series is a complete and
storyline. Tell me what you guys (and girls) at RPGamer think about
These kind of appearances in Final Fantasy Tactics were jokes more than
anything else. Especially the whole Cloud/Aerith thing in the game, it
was never meant to be taken seriously. The Final Fantasy series has
thrived from being a unique world and timeline with each new title, just
as Squaresoft intended it.
Couple o' quick question: How the heck do they figure out the estimated
playing time when a new game comes out? The ads always say something
"50+ Hours of gameplay". What if someone's really good and beats the
within 30 hours, could they sue for false advertisement?
"Your honor, my client is claiming a suit of
false advertisement against Square Co. of Japan. Their false claim of 50
plus hours caused my client considerable mental and physical anguish when
he completed Final Fantasy VI in 43 hours. Towards retribution for that
suffering, we are requesting no less than $4 million dollars be paid in
"Request granted. I only got 39 hours myself out of the darn
You're right, Einskalder, it does seem as though
advertisers like to inflate their gameplay hours. I've found my personal
average to be about three-quarters of what game companies advertised.
I'm sure it varies from person-to-person, but it'd be no surprise to me
to find out that it isn't terribly different with other gamers out there.
Advertisers just want to make their game look as attractive as
possible...and it's not technically a lie. That is, if you base it on an
7-year-old's gameplay abilities...
Subject: NO! AK bad, BG good! BG must usurp command of Q&AK!
I don't want AK back, man! You at least update the
letters section more
than once every century! You have to take permanent command using any
means possible! I suggest sending "Helga", AK's 637 lbs. "admirer" after
-The President of the Big Lick Fan Club
This is honestly a letter I received prior to even announcing that Andy's
returning to host. And the scary thing is, it's not the only one! My
fans are so devoted they were able to sense psychically that this would
be my last article, at least for a while.
Hey, it won't be so bad having AK back! I've made him
promise (on threat of Helga) that he has to update at least as often as I
did. And I'll write a letter every so often as well...I'm going to miss
this column, too, even though I haven't been here for that long. Just
look for me elsewhere, especially in the reviews that I mentioned
That's it! This is Brian "Big Lick" Glick, signing
off, and riding off into the sunset...(Yes, that Lone Ranger thing