Matt Demers - 23:51 EST

IF YOU WANT TO BEFUDDLE SOMEBODY with mathematical trickery, this is something that I've found to work remarkably well. Go up to anyone (preferrably someone you know) and ask them to do the following in their head without using a paper and pencil:

Take fifty, and then add ten.
Add a thousand.
Add ten,
and add a thousand;
add another ten,
and add a thousand.
Add ten, and add a thousand again;
finally, add ten.

Now, ask them for the result that they've calculated in their mind. Almost without fail they will guess 5,000, even though the answer is clearly 4,100. It's really kind of freaky... if you don't believe me, try it on a few people. I used to do it all the time when I was younger, and for some reason, I just thought of it over the weekend for the first time in years.

Anyway, I'm all alone in the land of Q&A now, until Tiptail arrives this upcoming weekend. In case you didn't notice, the 100% Canadian-ness of this column will been preserved with her arrival!!! Mwahahaha... may our caribou and beaver sentries rampage through the world branding each and every person with maple leaf tattoos!! Resistance, as the cliché goes, is futile.

In all seriousness, I just want to say here and now that I've read Andrew's Q&A for a very long time. I've always loved his columns, and seeing him depart is very saddening; after all, it's because of his writing that I ever decided to apply for the new position last summer. (It was THAT long ago already?!)

The moral of the story? If you like me, you've got Cast to thank, because without him, there would be no me! If you don't like me, then, well, go away, but come back to support Tiptail in her new endeavour. Either way, hats off, because you'll always be my Q&A King, Mr. Long~

Enough with sappy tributes... I've got to enjoy my time as dictator-supreme of this realm while it lasts, and it won't last long. Let us begin another week!

It's yew!!!!
Guess who??

Wait, let me put on some game music to put me in the right mood. Oooh, FF6 Ending Theme. How fun! Although it's making me want to go play it now. Get ready for the e-mail o'DOOM!

Now to it: Number one - In ummm.... your column from February 7th - you were asked "how on earth do you remember as much as you do about older games?" And you said a) Because you are God, and b) Because it's your equivalent to pop music. HOWEVER! You failed to mention the fact that you just have a freakishly amazing capacity for memorizing any and all information. Hence, I would imagine, why you are so very smart!

Number 2 - I would like to clarify that the reason I play games all the way until the end is likely semi-subconsciously because I mainly enjoy playing RPGs for the story. Of course all the fighting and customizing is fun too, but I love to just wander around and explore everything and try my best to make sure I don't miss ANYTHING. But then once you get to the end of the game... it's all over with!! I just don't want it to end! Especially if I have really liked the game. But when you get to just before the boss of the game, you know the story isn't going to go anywhere else. You're not going to find any more secrets (well, in the ones where I know so because certain brothers tell me these things before I finish). And sometimes I've even SEEN the end before I've actually finished it... so I just want the MEAT of the story!!!

But let me think... I still have to finish Mario RPG, Mario & Luigi: SS, FF4, FF5, FF7, FF8, FF9, Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, Tales of Symphonia, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and..... probably several others. Some of these I started playing and didn't even get all the way through TO the end, so now I can barely remember where I actually did get to. What advice do you have for people like me to rectify this so-called "serious problem"?

Now, while I grew up watching certain people play through many different games, FF6 stands out the most (I had no confidence in my own gameplay abilities back then, but have since played through it and many others). It will always be one of my favourites, and the music brings out the nostalgic feelings like it's nobody's business!! It reminds me of the days of sitting with a blank tape in my sister's boom box right next to the TV so I could record allllll of the different music while certain people played through it. We would hold our breath so it wouldn't be heard on the recording, but every once in a while: "TURN IT DOWN!!!!" bellowed Mom from the next room. Or convincing certain people to purposely screw up during the opera scene so I could write down all the words (lyrics?). Do you happen to have memories similar to these by any chance?

So, while we're in the nostalgic FF6 spirit, here is a.... BARRAGE O'FF6 QUESTIONS:

What is your favourite music? As cheap as this might sound, I love the Ending theme.

What is your favourite scene? Favourite part or whatever... one of mine is the exchange between Sabin, Cyan, and Gau when you first get the wild boy in your party.

What is your favourite place (this can include anything - town, cave, land mass, tower, research facility, etc.)? I liked the Esper Town... although I always wished you could do more there.

Who is your favourite character (ASIDE from Kefka... since we all know this already!)? I always loved Sabin, I think for his cheater-esque battle qualities. Personality-wise, hmm... that's a toughy. Perhaps Edgar?

Which is your favourite storyline? I was always intrigued by the mystery of Shadow's past. Was he Relm's father??

Now finally, what is the geekiest RPG-related thing that you have ever done? For example... screwing up in the opera just to have time to write down all of the words to it.

Okay. I am finished.

This should keep you busy for a while. Too bad I'll likely be in transit tomorrow afternoon, so I won't be able to proof this!

Keep up the WONDERFUL work, and I'm so glad that you are the one who won the Q&A Guy (Person?) position!!

From a long-time reader,
Insert Name Here

P.S. Roar. Christine Cushing is currently disgracing my TV screen. Die too-cool woman!

She is quite annoying sometimes, mostly because she doesn't realize how annoying she is. Some of her stuff does look yummy, though...

Thanks for writing in, mystery writer-inner. Please, do so again one day if you feel like spouting about FFVI, or any other game, some more.

Hiya Matt

It's been a while since I actually wrote something, did you miss me? Yeah, I bet you did. Or didn't, see if I care (*siff* *runs off to blow nose*)

Ok, I'm better know. Anyway, you've probably heard enough of this kind of thing, but here's my piece. Dragon Quest 8 is a game that the rpg world has been needing for quite some time. For me, anyway, rpg playing before that has been for a while has been a little dry. But I acquired DQ8 for christmas, and I have been having some good times. And boy is it long! So far i'm at the point soon after what I thought was the final battle, or something close to it, and have accumulated about 75 hours of play time! This has got to be the longest game I have ever played (except possible Breath of Fire three, cause I remember it being long, but it's been years since I've played it). Besides that must have been Final Fantasy 10, which took me about 60 or so, and FF6 took me about 45. On average, though, games that I've played rarely ever take me more that 40, and I've played a substantial amount of games. Anyway, DQ8 is a wonderful game and a worthy purchase (whoops, I mean gift).

I have an entry for the worst rpg ever. How about Ephemeral Phantasia. That was the only game I returned to the game store for measly store credit three days after I bought it. The story has something to do with a thief disquised as a bard who gets invited to an island kingdom to play his guitar for the royal family at some ceramony. His guitar, which you can play much like those arcade guitar playing games, also houses his sword . . . which talks. Anyway something happens at this ceramony where this evil dude sets a spell that freezes the entire island in time, but only you, the silent hero (the bigmouthed sword does all the talking for you) is saved from this catasrophe and sent back three days before the party when you first arrived on the island. Sounds like a rip off of majora's mask doesn't it. Anyway the musics bad, the battles are worse, the game is awful.

Now for a major question that's been bothering me for a long time. I always here, and it's been mentioned many times in your column, that there are North Americans who have played such games as FF3 or DQ 5&6. Those games, any rpgamer would know, have never been released on this side of the Pacific. Even you have mentioned before (unless I read falsely) that you have played these games. How? Can you read Japanese, cause you've never mention being able to before to my knowledge. Also, you have many times before voiced your dislike of emulators so you probably didn't play them that way, unless I'm wrong. Anyway, It just confuses me everytime you talk about the music, battle/job system or story, of FF3 when it has never been released in North America. Am I missing something? Can you explain this to me?

So, you caught me. I'm not going to lie to you or anyone else; I did indeed use emulators for a time. I discovered them in high school, when a friend of mine sent me one, and that's how I rediscovered Dragon Warrior III once again, years after the terrible renting incident that I've mentioned a couple of times on here. I had no idea that emulation was a legally delicate issue at all, so I went on a rampage for awhile getting games from the guy and playing; somewhere in there, I played the Japanese Dragon Quests V and VI, as well as Final Fantasy III. It was in more recent years that I realized that what I was doing was illegal, after I finally went to try and search for my own. Naive, was I? Perhaps.

So, you might be saying "Why are you preaching something and practicing something else?" Good question. Well, I haven't played emulated games for a long time, now, so I'd argue that I'm an ex-addict. One main reason that I feel so strongly against emulation now is because there appears to be other options on the horizon. Even though we haven't heard much out of Nintendo lately, they have promised that the Revolution will allow players to actually download and play all sorts of games from the earlier days of Nintendo, and legally at that. It's always good to play on the legal side of things, anyway.

Anyway, I hope this response doesn't get me in TOO much trouble, but you asked a valid question. Certainly, there are many people here that can muck through the Japanese to play imported games, and many others import without understanding the language at all. I could never do that, though; understanding the game, to me, is somewhat important to being able to fully enjoy it. Maybe I'm just weird...

Matt,

What are your thoughts on Granda III? It might have good ratings, but the length seems too short for me. I just finished DW8 with over 100 hours of play, so I want a solid game.

Should I just wait for Suikoden 5?

Dace

My friend, not all games are created equal. Just because a game isn't 100 hours long doesn't mean it won't be good. From the sounds of it, Grandia III has a lot going for it, including great eye candy and a stunning battle system. If I had the time and money, I'd give it a try myself, especially since I've never played a Grandia game before. Of course, Suikoden V isn't far away if you can wait that long; perhaps give Grandia a rental in the meantime to see if it's worth it. Or, if you go "No-Late-Fees" style from Blockbuster, and use the extra few days, you might be able to beat the game all at once, anyway.

Hey Matt/whomever else this may be,

I was just wondering about your general opinion on the game Star Ocean 3. I know a lot of people hate it due to its incorporation of MP death, somewhat awkward battle system, and really strange plot twist. But I was wondering if there was anything else. I don't know why, but I just loved the game. I remember writing here a couple of months ago asking whether I should play SO3 or Tales of Symphonia due to limited time and the person answering the questions said that ToS was definitely the better choice. But I don't know... I think I had an equal amount of fun with both of them. ToS's battle system was better, of course. And the AI was by far better (hey, my characters actually run away from the enemy when casting spells, imagine that!), but I guess Star Ocean has always had that sci-fi charm to it. I'm one of the few people whose played through all three, and I can say that it's a pretty good series. Especially when y ou realize the insane amount of backstory it has, and how what you did in every SO game has some significance in later games.

But one thing that I guess I really liked about the game is that it allowed you to naturally progress into the 5-digit HP and damage totals. And using Fayt's strongest move to deliver 15 hits for 25,000 damage each was totally ridiculous. And it didn't matter because all healing was based on percentages instead of a fixed amount — one thing I think the Tales and Star Ocean series (I know they're sort of related in terms of development teams) really have over Final Fantasy games, in my opinion. Final Fantasy X just got too awkward for me when you got Ultimate Weapons and had to have that stupid "Break Damage Barrier" and then get the "Break HP Barrier" ability in order to fight the extra bosses and Monster Arena bosses. It just seemed overly cumbersome and it annoyed me that your Mega Potions only gave you 2000 HP and that it was s o hard to find the necessary items to make the abilities that allowed you to break the damage/hp/mp barriers. I think that could've been incorporated a lot better.

I will admit, though, that SO3's big plot twist was... strange. Some say it ruined the whole series, but I wouldn't go quite that far... I actually thought it was rather satirical and kind of amusing. I saw it as sort of making fun of our perception of reality (like how people say, "Wow, I wish I could be like that guy in that movie"). And honestly, what's so bad about another game where you get to kill God? I think the people that just label it as a "Matrix rip-off" are simplifying it too much and just looking for something to compare it to.

Anyhow, thanks for reading my long letter ^_^

P.S. Do you think there's any chance of there being a Star Ocean 4?

~Cure4

No problem! It was my pleasure...thanks for sending it in. I already mentioned, of course, what I think of the plot, up above. I think that the twist was an ambitious and interesting idea; I just think that it could have been executed better in the end. All in all, it was just one of a few factors that prevented me from really being able to put the game in my top-favourite games of all time. While it isn't my least favourite, I think that the development teams could have done better.

The game is still popular enough, though, that I certainly wouldn't rule out another sequel. I wouldn't rule out playing it, either, despite the faults of #3. I'm big on second chances, after all.

Who do you think are the hottest RPG ladies?

- Macstorm

Silly human. I don't generally look at the ladies, but I will say that I thought that it was a crying shame that Irvine and Zell didn't end up hooking up by the end of Final Fantasy VIII. How's THAT for a shocking storyline twist?

I bought a butterflied pork chop for my dinner tonight, and while it was very tasty, pork, for some reason, has the peculiar tendency to get caught between my lower right canine and the tooth behind it... is that a bicuspid? Whatever it is, I had to go on a quest to find floss in order to alleviate the annoyance, and I just returned now, so I thought I'd tell the lot of you. Yeah, my life isn't that exciting. Oh, speaking of which, having received a grade of 55% on my Numerical midterm, I will likely be dropping the course, because a mark like that is simply unacceptable for someone with possible doctorate intentions in mind. Perhaps, then, I'll seem less stressed out from hereon in? We can all hope.

Before wrapping this column up, it's time to examine the great SOCK questions of yesterday.

#113 was Ourobolus' question about which boss we're both stuck on. The game in question, of course, is Dragon Quest VIII, and the boss is e) Darksteel Dragon. With the ability to always go three times per turn and with strength that causes 270+ damage per attack, there isn't much hope outside of sheer levelling at this point. 110 points to everyone who guessed correctly!

#114 was submitted by Xlash. A loooot of people attempted this question, and some of you got it right. At the very beginning, the clocks read 7:53, but as Marty finds out a few minutes later, they are actually 25 minutes slow; thus, the time at the beginning of the movie was d) 8:18 for 90 points, and 180 for Xlash. Thanks for submitting!

A big day on the scoreboards; Xlash has overtaken Ouro, bumping him from the top position for the first time in what seems like forever. Also, the floor is now open to both Xlash and Flamethrower... will they choose to co-host with me sometime soon? I guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out!

Also, honourable mention must go out to a few individuals: Alan Tse, first of all, crossed the magical 400 barrier last week, along with Erika Wolfraven and Final Delerium, as of today! Erika is currently sitting in 13th position with 575 points, Alan Tse is in 18th with 405 points, and Final Delerium is in 19th with 404. A tilde goes out to each of you right here and now:

Question #115:
Of the following five characters, whose last name can be altered by only one letter to obtain a tasty french treat? (105 points)

a) Barret
b) Quistis
c) Zidane
d) Celes
e) Locke

Question #116:
Ask Rexy!-->One of the presents in "We Love Katamari" allows the player to carry a small buddy around with them. But, which cousin's buddy is NOT a miniature version of itself? (85 points)

a) The Prince
b) Ichigo
c) Velvet
d) June
e) Ace

Anyway, that's all for today! I hope you had fun reading. If you want to send in a question, please feel free. Are you excited about Grandia III or Suikoden V and want to share? Or, how about the news on Final Fantasy: Advent Children? Whatever you want to contribute, I'm all ears, or eyes, such as the case may be!

***Matt lost at his most recent game of Numerical.