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Michael Bischoff - July 14 '03- 23:59 Central Standard Time

Holy christ has today been full of joy-joy fun! If you're ever going to Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, and you're hoping that the new Superman ride is going to kick ass, you might be a little disappointed. While fun, it isn't all that great save for one badass loop. Raging Bull is still the best coaster in the park. Also, the whole day was spent with my cohorts, Rich, Bart, and Scar! Too bad Bart and Scar only rode one damn coaster the whole day. :/ But, we did have some DDR fun, and regardless of what Rich says, he is good at the game. But anyway, you probably are just dying to see today's meager collection of letters, aren't you? But first, our guesthosts!

Rich: Yo, it's me, the infamous Richmond, back doing the Q&A thing after about a one-year break. We're all up here at Kami's, hanging out, dancing with arrows, and drinking like the fishes (but no ladies ended up going off to the hotel to stay for free after our drinking binge). But anyway, time to look through the mailbag and see what kind of stuff we've got today! I'm kinda out of it from MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF DDR, but I'll get by! By the way, watch "FUDOH: The New Generation." You won't regret it, but just the same, don't send me hate mail or "WTF!"s after viewing! Parental discretion required!

Bart: It only took a trip through the Dungeon of Peril, across the Fire Bridge, and past the Forest of Incessant Noise, but I got to guest host! You may know me from such work as the incomplete Editorials archives, or not, but hello.

Scar: And it's me! You may know me previously from such sections as Media, Editorials and Music over a few years. I'm down in the US on holidays, where I have had a chance to meet a bunch of the RPGamer staff that I've known online for a few years, as well as a few friends from IRC. Oh, and my boyfriend, Bart, who is also here! Hopefully, the letters today will be an improvement on the usual blather.

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Rich, Bart, Scar

Xenosaga's most difficult section!

Hey there.

OK, I'm probably an idiot because I can't find it again... but my FAQ searches, as well as another read-through of the manual, have turned up nothing.

How do I access that screen which shows the Segment Addresses I've found, and whether I have the key or not, and if I've opened them?

-Renidragon

Rich:
Probably.

Michael:
I have a suggestion. Go play Britney's Dance Beat.

Scar:
Alt-F4.

Bart:
Well, you could open the menu, go to items, then to special items, and check the Segment File item. Or you could ask us to answer a simple question like that for you.

P.S. Try mentioning the name of the game in your letter body, since everyone else won't see the title.

 
I've heard diddly squat about this game, so who cares?

Where's all the coverage for the new Popolo Crois game!? Come on Kamikaze, I know you all know it's coming!

~rudyxx

Rich:
Rich: Two words, rudy. ONE. WORD. kthx.

Michael:
Of course I know it's coming. So be patient. Patience gets you into heaven, remember?

Bart:
Personally, I haven't seen any info on a Popolocrois game since the PS2 launched, so I offer you this: nothing!

Scar:
That's more than I can offer!

 
You would have been printed anyway, the letters were as sparse as Eskimos in Illinois.

I am a long time reader first time writer and i have been frustrated with all the RPG's out these days. THEY ARE ALL BORING AND THE SAME!!!!! Grrrr it just makes me mad the only thing keeping me sane is to watch the Cowboy Bebop Movie over and over and over again. Oh well woe is me i better write a question or this won't get printed.

My question is will they ever make another good (in my opinion) Breath of Fire game like Breath of Fire 3? I absolutley loved the dragon gene system and the difficulty level was just perfect. And nothing beats the giddy feeling i get when Garr joins your party for the first time. There was something about Breath Of Fire Dragon Quarter that didn't sit quite well with me.... the whole dungeon crawl thing had me thinking where did the fun go. Oh well...by the way have ya seen the Cowboy Bebop movie? Its great i love the animation. Oh well sorry bout the length.

Parkse

Michael:
You know, you don't like RPGs, don't play them! This is a capitalist society you pinko, so vote with your dollar. I can admit I've never ever played a Breath of Fire game before. And I've never seen Cowboy Bebop either. I'm such a lame geek ain't I?

Rich:
I've never really enjoyed the BoF series, my least favorite being the third, so...being biased on my distaste for the series, nope, don't expect any good BoF games. Good taste in anime, though. That is to be commended.

Scar:
Of the 5 I've played (I just got 5), I actually enjoyed 3 the most of all of them. It wasn't great, but it was fun. The gene system should have been filled out more. As for CB, I'm too out of touch with anime to have watched it.

Bart:
I haven't seen the CB movie, or played any BoF games, but anything featuring bishounen has to be good, right?

 
Coming soon to an RPGamer Q&A Column near you, sodomy and other homosexual acts!

So, what did you, Scar, Bart, and Kami grab for dinner?

--Mike

P.S. buttsex

Michael:
How about I puke it up for you and take a picture?

Rich:
I had Italian sausage, and Bart had Scar. Er.

Bart:
I had a hot dog and fries with a Sprite. Though I wouldn't have minded grabbing something else ;)

P.S. Mmmmm, buttsex. Ahhh....

Scar:
:O *hides his behind* I had an Italian Beef Sandwich.

 
We had to whore this letter

Uhm...

>_>

<_<

Can you explain Xenogears to me? I've played it through twice now, and I still have no clue what's going on. I'm still finding myself screaming and writhing on the floor in confusion and frustration when I watch half of the cut scenes, and there are way too many supporting cast members for me to even begin to keep them straight in my mind.

...And if you can't explain what in God's name is going on in that game, could you recommend some drugs that would cause it to seemingly make sense? Or perhaps feel more fulfilling than playing the game?

-Haunter

Rich:
MY SECKSI BROTHER!!!!!!!!!1111111111ONE, sup? I'd recommend writing down the names of the supporting characters, and it'll help you keep 'em straight. Or, you could do just what I did, and allow the game to collect dust in some corner of your room. At least, keep the second disc out of sight. Linearity be DAMNED.

Michael:
I know you're one of Rich's underlings. Your sarcastic questions fool me not! God, this is what we get when nobody wants to write into the goddamn column. You people suck, all of you.

Bart:
Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy goes apeshit insane while the world goes to hell and God is resurrected. Boy gets girl.

P.S. Mmmmm, buttsex. Ahhh....

Scar:
Xenogears cannot be explained. The plot is too complicated! Oh, and...where's the gameplay? -_-

 
This one too.

A query for the Divine Wind:

How in the hell is it that you got so good at DDR in a *week*? Could you share some wisdom with your readers as to how to gain such insane DDR skills? Anyone else in the #mononokehime crowd is more than welcome to add their two dollars (since I bummed mine from Kami and Richmond earlier today playing the Extreme machine!)

See you later, and be sure to kick Brad for me.

Amish

Rich:
DDR? I never heard of that game, what you talkin' 'bout?

Scar:
RICHMOND LIES. It took me a bit to get into it, but now at least I don't suck at it. I can only hope someday I will be as good as Richmond is. (Doubtful.)

Bart:
Kami studied under a Buddhist monk for ten years before he ever set foot to DDR. That, or the caffiene IV...

P.S. Mmmmm, buttsex. Ahhh....

Michael:
Mary Jane. She works wonders on just about anything and everything! Ask my brother (Brad) especially!



Quickies

No quickies tonight?

Michael: Hell no. >:|

Last Requests:

Rich: Well, it's been fun, and now I get to make a nice little trip home in my sexy new awesomely nifty fun car. Ask Jessi about it sometime; I gave her a pretty thorough tour of the backseat, at least. But anyway! Just remember! FUDOH IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS.

-Jeff "Hey, shouldn't you be in school?" Hamann

Scar: My hopes have been dashed. It was great meeting everyone while I was here (Kami, Rich, Amish), and hopefully I'll see them all again before Acen next May!

-Rob "Play tri-Ace games or die. Seriously." Parton

Bart: Well, that was fun :) I heartily reccommend you all kidnap a high-ranking staffer so you too can guest host. Actually, don't, or they can't update the site anymore :(

-Bart "I have no invisible text"

Or last name



Michael: Damn, we're already through? Oh, that's right, WE DIDN'T GET ANY LETTERS FROM YOU SICKOS! I don't have much else to say, really. Maybe if I get the roundtables going again (which I will) then you will love me again. Oh well, I hope you all enjoy our guesthosting extravaganza today. Also, if you ever stop by #mononokehime sometime, and make a fool of yourself, you will be destroyed. By the way, the guest hosting continues tomorrow, when Tadrith takes control of the column for one day, along with his spunky sidekick, Viper. For the love of god, send him letters. PLEASE!

Kamikaze "Complimentary Coffee?" @rpgamer.com

Seriously, go watch Fudoh! If you don't, I will force that complimentary coffee down your throat.

Old Issues
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   Tadrith the gryphon and Viper the...viper....  
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