Thor - May 20, 2001 - the End of Time|
Heya. I'm Thor Antrim, former loveable
Q&A Dude. Every single damn one of you are no doubt wondering where I've been all this time. Wish I could tell you, but you'll just have to wait for the full story on Thor's Homepage of Recalcitrancy. (Don't be shy, it's not shameless self-prostitution if it's the only a way we can keep in touch, right? Good, now say it till you believe it.)
Groovy. How about I read some of these letter thingies?
Have you ever played DDR? If so, what's your favorite song?
Dance Dance Revolution was the hardest RPG I've ever
played. I couldn't figure out how to gain experience or
cast spells or anything. However, I can tell
you my favorite song: Call of Cthulhu, by Metallica.
Well Google hinted (STRONGLY) that I should ask you this question. Have there ever/will there ever be a wrestling RPG? If so what do you think it
would be like?
Heck, good ol' WWF Warzone let you make a character,
assign five stats, even fight random battles for
experience! But that was a wrestling game; there'll
probably never be a traditional RPG here in America. (Japan, who knows? They everything from soccer
RPGs to Segagaga, a quest to save Sega from finanial ruin.)
Then again, if SquareSoft made a wrestling game, anything's possible.
[Too Much Information: I considered writing a
wrestling add-on for Big Eyes Small Mouth, a pen and paper Anime RPG.
That fell through when I was distracted by a shiny dime. I did go
through the trouble of making a Jedi class, though. You got Mind Control,
Telekinesis, Energy Sword and the defect Annoying Whiny Sister-Kisser.
If you think that sounds geeky, wait until you hear about the custom
Jar Jar Binks I made for target practice.]
Some of The Best Games Ever Made (argue with me, it's fun!)|
Hey, Thorometer. Heard you might be throwing in a guest column during RPGamers few weeks of hell coming right around the corner. Best of luck to ya, a little Thorsday Madness back in the RPGuru slot would be pretty insane!
Moreover: After years of begging, pleading, and bribing, I was finally able to
purchace FF6, Xenogears, and both Suikodens from a local rental store. Are there any other rare but good RPGs I should be on the lookout for?
Aw, hell yeah. This is the kind of question I live for.
Final Fantasy 2. Shadowrun (for Genesis!). Zelda 3. Phantasy Star 4 is rare because it cost, like, $90 when it was released, and Secret of Mana is the most fun you'll ever have with an RPG, provided you have at least one buddy and a sense of humor. You'll need one when you save Santa Claus. <grins>
Is Snood the work of the Devil? If the Snoods fought the charicters of
Slime World, who would win?
Uh, heh, I'm going to STRONGLY suggest you pass that one on to Google.
When Dungeon Masters go bad
Hey, Oh God of Thunder Who Was Hit On By the Ladies
Much During His Reign of Q&A (I remember reading about
that scary lady that asked for your tounge
1) Did Tidwell ever pay you?
Yes, RPGamer has treated me well, which is
one of the reasons I agreed to do this column. The other
reasons were to plug my homepage and
back in touch with the tongue lady the fans, of course.
2) What's your worst MMRPG experience?
Well thanks, Oh Thunder God Who Had Way Too Many
"Hammer" Jokes Made in His Career.
- Braro Stmor
It may not have been massive, but my worst online
RPG experience was an AD&D game on IRC. I played an
intoxicated and eternally hungry warrior who solved
problems with his fists (when he could find them). This didn't mesh well with
the DM, who played a Bard in own his campaign.
Surprise! All the puzzles were designed to be solved
with a lute -- not once with an open can of whupass.
Things went from bad to nightmarish when the DM
introduced yet another character of his: A
cat warrior, though "sex kitten" is probably
a better way to describe her. It would have
been bad enough if Miss Kitty fell for the bard
(who had a seemingly illegal 26 Charisma) but no, "she" was all
over the DM's buddy. Those two guys went above and
beyond the call of roleplay duty. I quit before they
had a chance to pump out a litter of Half-Cats.
Oh, and the "Hammer" jokes were nothing compared to my nicknames.
Someday, in the distant future, my grandkids are going
to do a Yahoo.gov search and I'll have to explain why
teen males called me "Sexypants."
Text based games descriminate against the illiterate
I think you're cool. I wish you still worked at RPGamer.. I'd have to
you and Brad are the all time best.. I miss ya both.. anyway, here my
questions (Google and the other weekend person wouldn't answer.. bah!!)
Suikogaiden is a text RPG, something that hasn't really been shown
here. Is there any plans for the first, 'Swordsman of Harmonia' or the second 'Battle at Crystal Valley' to come here? I'm a huge fan and wondering.. also, why I can't find any information about it on the net, it did
get released, right? If it did get released, and information was released,
you know where I can get some, and if where the game itself? Also, what
about Suikoden 3? Any pics or details on that? These are games my
made of.. Thanks for yer time
(Thor is the best.. long live Thor!)
Woah, slow down there chief. I asked for questions about obscure RPGs,
and you can't get much more obscure than the Suikogaiden series. They're
text heavy, which explains why there are few fan sites (you
can't bravely charge ahead and hope you stumble into the
right cave like an RPG).
Sadly, that also explains why Konami has no plans to bring the series stateside.
Hell, at this point, we don't even know if Suikoden 3 will to make it here,
Suikoden 2 sold so poorly. Snoggsosoth, the Cosmic Vile who helps with this
column from time to time urges Suiko-heads to e-mail Konami and remind them
we care about the series -- and when an Elder God asks you to do
something "pretty please," you say yes!
Final Fantasy heroes -- or villains?! (Bum ba DUM!)|
Has anyone else realized about how the "decline of
society" happened at the same time as the 32-bit RPG?
I think the two are connected, and not in some pansy
"Squall using a gun blade caused Columbine", but in a
more immature manner, one that we don't really notice
Lets start with FF4, the first game with a major story
line. Who's the main character? Cecil, of course.
Started out as a Dark Knight, turned into a Paladin.
Mr. Goody Too-Shoes "I know six white magic spells".
Good guy, over all. Heck, he was a GREAT guy. Sure,
the Dark Knight thing was probably a rough
conversation starter, but as soon as he became a
Paladin, you better BET Rosa was bringing him home to
Now, though, who was your favorite character?
were a guy, probably Kain.
Ye olde backstabber,
silent man, down right rude dude, and bad arse. The
antihero, the negative trait person.
But, deep down, didn't you think about how cool it
would be to be Cecil? Great with a sword, able to do
the most damage, being able to do multiple things,
being so damn cocky that you'd jump in the way of a
wounded Ninja? So, you might have traits from both.
Lets say, Kain's silentness and Cecil's selflessness.
Lets move on to FF6. There was no "hero" character
that guys could really identify with, other than maybe
Leo or Sabin. Or Edgar. But, all of those guys are
the "good dudes". Leo dies just to strike down the
evil clown, Sabin left his country but felt bad about
it. Edgar, well. Edgar played hero AND got laid (the
"After five minutes she was telling us the plan"
But end result, who did we all like? Mr. "..."
Shadow. Professional badarse. Once again, we sorta
came up with some mixture of the two. Either Leo's
sacrificing, Sabin's willing to do the right thing, or
Edgar's need to play hero. And Shadow's "Yeah. You
want to mess with me?" attitude.
Square got wise to us. "Why throw in the good guys?
Lets just make the arse hole character the MAIN
So, in FF7, who did we have to identify with?
Chainsmoking Cid, vampire Vincent, Mr. T, Red 13, and
spikey-haired, silent jerk Cloud.
If we borrowed one trait from each, we were messed up.
All were jerks or sterotypes, or silent, or some
other bad trait. We had no good to secretly let us
And in FF8, well. Nothing much changed, except for
Squall becoming partly good natured at the end. I
ended up identifying more with Seifer's rival complex
than I did with Whatever Boy.
And in FF9, we got a pervert. He goosed Dagger at one
point. That's just sad.
And what do we have now? We've slowly become more
apathetic, more worried about how the outside world
views the culture. I can almost imagine if the "Games
cause violence" thing had happened when FF4 was
around, we would have just laughed and ignored them,
confident that we were right, and we'd win in the end.
The Cecil thing to do. Now we right in your face
rebuttals, do parodies, and gripe about them. Or, in
some cases, laugh it off but worry about how this
would affect us. Something that Squall or Cloud would
Now, either this is sorta correct, or I'm way too
influenced by video games.
Ah, memories. Unbelievably, I haven't been able to play FF VIII, let alone IX. I must admit,
my blood ran cold when I heard the lead man is running around goosing
people. He bears an uncanny resemblance to David Bowie, he can't keep his hands off ass, and the tip of his sword looks like... gaah, I don't even want to think about it. Whatever happened to the days of heroes like Cecil, or even muties like
Nevertheless, I think the only thing we can truly
blame Square for is Saga Frontier (kidding!).
Look, it's obligatory.
Huzzah! Leather mugs all around. ;) Anyways, Iíll keep this brief:
Stay wonderful. You canít go wrong! Especially with those hands.. ;)
Women may swoon at your feet, but I faint away in style at your
fingertips. Wait, that sounds bad. Err.. nevermind.
Stay famous, you handsome devil you ;)
Did you guys really think I'd go a whole column without at least one?
Has it really been that long?
Hey how's it going. Interestingly enough you're doing this two years to
the week that you left Q&A. Also, have you gotten in trouble for your norse
hammer and it's powers.
I hate to disappoint my loyal Thundercats, but your favorite viking has turned pirate. All that raping and pillaging, yarr! The only thing we ever pilliaged was bug-ridden supplies, and I'd never even consider the rest of that nasty business.
Also are you worried that Xenosaga like another promonent prequel
and have an obnoxious character nobody likes?
Just as long as he doesn't goose anyone.
Also since your among
the greatest people on earth, you can borrow my chourus of singing monks
my name which are the Gregorian ones.
- Imperial Mog
He's right, I had to post this. Because he has the monkeys. And he who
controls the monkeys controls RPGamer.
There should be a SimTokyo for aspiring Godzilli|
I don't get it, what is it about you that makes you so cool? Bad-Boy
Appeal? The refrence to a Norse god? Raw charisma? Tell me, please!
Oh, Slime-boy, didn't see you there.... Hey.
"I say the old pervert must DIE!"
Everything was going fine until he signed off as "The grandfather that nobody wanted". The right fan letter can cause my ego to undergo an Akira-esque transformation, growing spazmatically until it lets off
some steam by trashing the nearest Japanese metropolis. The wrong fan
letter makes me look like the deranged leader of a midget attack squad.
As for the Norse bit, I've traded in my hammer for an eyepatch. Will the ladies see it as optic disfigurment or as the final piece of their Fabio-esque fantasies? Stay tuned.