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   I HAVE RETURNED!  
Googleshng - February 13 '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

Eep! Excuse me while I get a fire extinguisher.

OK, In retrospect, rising from my ashes like a phoenix was a bad idea considering all the flamable stuff in here. Anyway though, I suppose I should give you a nice serious explanation of why I mysteriously disappeared for two weeks. However, I prefer to just say that, quite frankly, fate beat me up and locked me in a closet. Metaphorically. Seriously speaking, everyone I know came down with a NASTY flu, RPGamer's server went down for a time, my comp had some SERIOUS problems (as did a few other people's), and a few other things I can't even remember happened. On the bright side, I got a rant up, would have been two if THAT server didn't go down for a week too. I also played a LOOOOOOOOOOT of PSO once I got it working, and a good bit of FM3 before I got it working. At one point the main character was hit with grenades and ended up at literally 1 HP on his main body, everything else scrap. Now THAT is time to eject!

Anyway though, bottom line, I ended up spending the last two weeks RELAXING. X( It's REALLY nice to be back here getting letters that aren't spam. Although, it seems I don't have MANY letters here... maybe my mail server's bugging out, which would explain why it took 8 hours for this one here to arrive since it was sent. Oh well, I guess I'll just print the whole wad! Let's go!

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In the DC:
PSO
Pleasantly Sautéed Oglops
CC returns my favor

I find the "numbered question" letters to be the easiest to respond to. Therefore, this letter's questions shall be numbered! Numbered, I say!

1.) Shenmue. Skies of Arcadia. Grandia II. Any other reasons I should pick up a dreamcast?
2.) Last night, while we were playing AD&D (SPECIAL NOTE TO MY INSANE MOTHER: "AD&D" IS AN ABBREVIATION FOR A POPULAR ROLE PLAYING GAME. NOT MY GRADES! PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY IN A HYSTERICAL FIT.), you turned my character from a sexist, impressionable, twelve year old paladin, into a female version of said character with yellow hair. a) Are you insane? b) What did I do to deserve this? and c) No, really, are you insane?
3.) Does PSO support broadband? I want to get it, but I really don't like Massively Multiplyer Online RPGs.
4.) How the hell do you get past that level in Vanguard Bandits where your Guymelef's....I mean ATAC's are all spread out, and you're surrounded by Sharkings? When I kill a Sharking, a new one pops up! When I kill the boss, (the freaky German guy), nothing special happens. WHat can I do?!
5.) What book are you reading right now?
6.) Why the hell haven't you picked up the first Cowboy Bebop DVD? Future-Scifi-Deep Space-Gunslinging-Kung-Fu-Bounty Huntin-action r001z.
7.) How big is your PSO mag?
8.) Will you pay me? Or do I have to fight Black Chocobo in a bloody cagematch for a $5 bill.
9.) Come on. What gender are you? You won't tell us! Even worse, I think I'm attracted to you now! Do you know what this means? There's a 50% chance I'm gay now.
10.) Is that picture not the sexiest thing you've ever seen in your life? I have a new dream woman now.

There, ten beautiful questions for you. I went to a very small amount of trouble to compile these questions. Be happy.
-Cheshire Catalyst

Googleshng:
I pondered not posting the attached pic to imply CC liked Molly, but that'd just be mean. Anyway...
1) Other reasons to by a DC include sequels to those games, PSO, and the fact that the DC is the unquestioned champion of bringing every game over to the US no matter HOW weird and Japanese. A good chunk of that stuff is DARN fun.
2) As for the AD&D bit, A- I'm glad my mom doesn't read my columns, that'd just be weird, B- I'm just as surprised as you are, the original plan for that adventure is that you'd all get an item of incredible damaging power that only had 1 or 2 charges left, you just walked right into it though, and C- Considering that the main theme of the campaign is torturing and polymorphing PCs, consider yourself lucky. Much worse stuff will happen to everyone else.
3) Good one.
4) That's a NASTY fight. Here's my advice. First off, they aren't really infinate, only 4 or so new ones come in. Second, keep all your characters together, try to move towards a corner, and as soon as you're anywhere near one of the things, have everyone swarm it until it overheats and have one of the big guys nail it with an 80 AP move with low accuracy. I love that game.
5) Let me go check... Iceworld, by Hal Clement. It's about a race of aliens from an unbelievably hot planet coming to earth to buy cigarettes. It's also very hard Sci-Fi which is always a plus. Although Larry Niven AND Orson Scott Card both have new books out I haven't read yet. Wah.
6) Well, being totally broke and not having a DVD player seemed like good reasons at the time...
7) Level 120 or so, looks like 2 big robotic monster heads, which go good with my big monsterous robot.
8) Hmm... the latter sounds a lot more fun.
9) Creepy. By the way, in light of the fact that that's getting a tad old, I am now going to do something very drastic. I am dead serious about this. I will now roll this d6. If I get a 1 2 or 3, I will find someone with the money and sick sense of humor to back it and go get a complete sex change. I will of course not be disclosing what I roll. Whee! Back to square one!
10) Have all the dream women you want, as long as I'm not one of them.

 
More humor! (Since I got a distinct lack of real questions)
Iædon't like you Googleshng! You've always been the rudestæmost self rightious, self important stuckæup Q&A columnest that RPGamer has ever known. Sure, you may answer most of your messages you get,æand I commend you for that, but even aberrant evil has standards. So many letters have you left unanswered or rudely ignored. Not just mine, since I have sent few to you, but many peoples, my friends and others included. You fool no one with your whole gender-hiding act. The only reason why you would ever hide your gender is because you are female, and you know that if you revealed it you would be flocked by thousands of online gaming losers with no social life desperate for a girlfriend...either that or you are hidiously ugly, very old, morbidly obecse, or maybe just horridly disfigured or a combination of those. No one truly likes you, and those that do are simply in denile. I felt mean so I wrote this to you, so disreguard everything in this e-mail.
If you would like I give you permission to freely post this e-mail with your ridicule of me. I will proudly be humbled by a thousand and one flying tomatos in the face!

Googleshng:
I tend to be pretty receptive to humor. I can even enjoy a PG slapstick comedy on some level if I first go through a weird mental preparation ritual. Still, there's a certain tone that falls between wonderfully sarcastic, and being angery but doing a bad job of expressing it. Both are funny though, so it's often a moot point. Here I'm guessing sarcasm. Anyway though, since it came up, I think I'll make just a friendly general reminder that on the average day, I get between one and two hundred letters just for this column. Obviously I can't post or answer the majority of those simply because there isn't enough time in the day, so you should never go and make the assumption I'm just flat out ignoring you.

 
Odd Trivia
The other day, I was watching movie Blade Runner(the movie with arnold swzienagga and the game show)well during the movie I heard some music in it that sounded familar. æSo, I went over to my playstation and popped in Final Fantasy VII. æI figured out that the music in the movie is the same as FFVII's Midgar music. æI guess the person that wrote the music for FFVII also saw this movie because the music is identical. æI was wondering am i the only person to notice this. Weird Huh? If you dont believe me go rent Blade Runner at your local video place, so you can see what i'm talking about.

Googleshng:
Hmm... I think you have Blade Runner and Total Recall mixed up a bit. That's easy enough to do though, since they're both "based on" books by Philip K. Dick, with just about nothing intact from the originals, including the titles even. Anyway though, Blade Runner has Harrison Ford in it, and, while I'll have to check this sometime, I wouldn't be totally surprised. Over the last few years Uematsu has been doing a lot of that sort of thing it seems. Oh, and according to MANY people, the movie in question here is actually The Running Man.

 
FF9 Questions
Where have you been oh slimy one? I am the Untalented Bard who coomposed such songs as A Baby Frog is not a Frog and On One Bright Sunny Night. I pretend to travel the world sharing me songs and getting kicked out of bars for singing them.
I do have a few real questions though.

1. How the photon do you get the Magical Fingertip that the old man at Daggerero wants? I have been told you get it at Treno's auction house but so far to no prevail. They jts sell really bad items that i already have

2. what do the rat's tail and chocobo suit items do? I got them and have not used them throughout the whole game. I'm guessing they aren't useless but Square is kinda strange

The untalented Bard

Googleshng:
OK, as I understand it, you only have a shot at the fingertip the first time you get to Treno, and have to get all the other auction items before it's possible. Wah. As for those others, like an AWFUL lot of things in the game, they don't do a thing... unless the tail is one of the items that makes the FF3 music thing work.

 
CD fixing
Hi Google,

Welcome back. I thought you (and the Q/A readers) might get a kick out of this. I recently bought Lunar: Eternal Blue, and unfortunately the soundtrack CD came covered with sticky glue from the sleeve binding. I wrote to Working Designs asking for solvent suggestions. I've attached my original letter and their response. Talk about customer service!

Right, I should put a question or two in here. How about . . Am I a bad person for lusting after Jean in Eternal Blue? Something about leggy green haired dancing girls that can kick my rear, I guess. Mmmrowwwrrr!

Oh, and before I go, It turns out that I was actually able to clean the CD myself before WD responsed with, of all things, a capful of Myers' rum and a handkerchief. Tell me that the spirit of Ronfar isn't infesting my game . . . .

Best,

-- Galeran

*** WD's response ***

Hi Brian,

Thank you for taking the time to write to us. You should be able to restore your CD to "like new" with something that you probably already have lying around the house: WD40. Spray it directly onto the CD and wipe (across the diameter) with a soft cloth.

Please let me know if this is not effective.

Best regards,

Nicole Huggins
Media Relations Manager

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Sunday, February 11, 2001 7:13 PM
Subject: Goopy Eternal Blue Soundtrack

Dear Working Designs,

I purchased a copy of Lunar: Eternal Blue Complete last week, and am generally quite pleased. You folks do amazing localizations! Unfortunately, there's a problem with the music CD included in my set. The soundtrack ships in a paper sleeve, which is held together by some sort of glue. My CD came stuck to that binding on the data-encoding face. So, I've got a soundtrack with sticky glue in a band across one functional edge, which needless to say, is not helping me to enjoy M. Iwadare's compositions on my portable CD player.

I attempted to remove the glue with some rubbing alcohol, but didn't have much luck. Can you suggest another solvent, or better yet, send me a replacement copy?

I can be reached at

(address removed)

Otherwise, keep up the great work. I'm looking forward to your upcoming products.

Sincerely,

Brian Sidlauskas

Googleshng:
Hmm... well, if liking Jean makes you a bad person, I'm SURROUNDED by bad people. As for the annecdote, well, that's interesting.

 
Questions
Since the king started datng freely. Har har. Hope you're feeling better Google.

1. How come none of the Slayers RPGs made it out of Japan? There are plenty of Slayers fans in the States.
2. Why is everyone making a big deal over FFX? I almost forgot FFIX was coming out!
3. Wouldn't a King of Fighters anime (or RPG) be interesting?
4. Capcom and Square should make an RPG together. What do you think?
5. Kyo or Iori?

p.s. The answer is fries.

Orochi 'Fear Gill and his glowing thong underwear' Yamazaki

Googleshng:
I'll answer these in reverse order, since then the responses get longer, not shorter.
5) I'm going to cheat and say Kyau.
4) Hmm. Square is famous for reinventing the wheel with each new game, tossing out the core mechanics completely along with the setting and characters. Capcom on the other hand makes a few MINOR little improvements to any given game every 8 months or so, forcing us poor lost souls to basically by the same game ten times or so. I don't think they COULD colaborate. Oh, and Square publishing BoF in the US doesn't count.
3) Hmm... I myself don't tend to like fighting games, or anime based on fighting games.
2) People make a big deal out of FF10 because it has Final Fantasy in it's title.
1) OK, now for a nice long answer. I seem to recall hearing that Slayers games are all made by Banpresto, a Japanese game company that has made a truckload of anime-based games, and never translated a single one. Besides which, Slayers is pretty popular NOW, but when it was airing in Japan, that wasn't the case. On top of that, I'm told they aren't all that great. While Slayers DOES seem like the perfect thing to base an RPG off, it really isn't suited for a console game. Playing as Lina and having to worry about running out of MP, or having to aquire the most damaging spells in the game, or for that matter meeting with any real challenge from a boss, just simply isn't right. Now, a paper RPG based on Slayers, that'd just rule.

 
Quickies

Just a little addition the the quickie regarding media files. Being a mac person your probably already know this, but....

QuickTime can play just about any damn file other than divX, asf, and realplayer files (maybe one or two others). I expect the divX thing to change with QT 5 coming out in a few months. --Here's to hoping.

-G.E.

Indeed. If QT5 CAN play DivX stuff, then I can actually watch the Esca movie!

i am a pretty letter.

Yes you are! Awww! How CUTE!

Hey Goog-sama

That pic you sent to CC is from Project A-Ko,whcih is,while we're on the subject,one of the best all girls high school anime series I've ever seen. Glad you're better
The Masked Mystere
PS:Do I get a tilde for getting the pic right?

Hmm, sure, why not? ~

I know if you're a guy or a girl.   You're a...a...damn, I'm under that non-disclosure agreement aren't I? Grrr...
Güifá
"Name change...I added two dots :/ "

[Points and laughs]

Hmmm...
I know it's still spam, but it is kinda special...

Silky

I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!! I like this song though, and the Weird Al Spam song. Don't send THAT to me though, big files make my mail server get sick.

The Last Laugh:


Ahhhhhh..... it's so very good to be back. It's not good to have insomnia like this though. Oh well, I guess I'll just goof off until dawn. Also, I printed every letter I recieved. I get the feeling that five minutes from now my mail server will wake up and smack me in the face with a hundred or two, so if you sent something in and didn't see it, wait until tomorrow!

Oh, and JWH is still looking for an imported Persona 2: Innocent Sin, Snatcher, or PSX2. If you're willing to donate one of those, then you of course are entitled to come guest host a bit AND make your own request, which I think is a pretty cool deal myself.
Oh yeah! CC sent this in too.

Little correction: Someone pointed out that for the Treno auction bit, you can get the good thing anytime, just by getting all the other "auction items", selling them, and going back.


Googleshng "Go read my rant!" @rpgamer.com
Oh, I was serious about the die roll thing. Try it yourself, gets your adrenaline up like Russian Roulette, but without the messy death. You can also substitute in stuff like sitting through teletubbies, but that's way too masochistic for ME.

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