Iam in digital Hell. At campus, I have a wonderful computer. 128 Megs of RAM, 20+ Gigs of Hard Disk Space, 17 inch Trinitron monitor, all connected to a ludicrously fast network...*sob* It's not a computer. It's a work of art, and I love it. Now, I am home for the holidays. It's not so much the computer I'm using that is driving me into insanity, rather it's this internet connection. It's slow. Ungodly slow. Slower than the short bus in January.

I'll be signing this column with both my real name and pseudonym from now on. Why? Well, let's just say it adds a small degree of professionalism to this column. When you write about video games, cartoons, and boobs every weekend, you grasp at any dignity you can.