Chris Martin - November 25th '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time|
Today was laundry day -- the best day of the week. I think I'm a cartoon character. My load of dirty clothes consisted of about ten gray t-shirts, eight pairs of Champion brand gray boxers, a few pairs of identical blue jeans, and various button down shirts that are always worn untucked and open. Who knew God was such a lazy animator? I bet He even uses the same stock animation whenever I fall down the stairs.
Here are the answers to yesterday's questions. Methinks 5 was a bit too many to ask. Letter titles brought to you be the insane ramblings of the DDR/SC5 announcers.
Show me your hottest moves!
Ah, hey Chesh.
I adore you but I never write in because I suffer from...
not-writing-in-everness... but your questions today intrigue me and I need a
break from my Baroque term paper.
1) Sephiroth would be a drag on a date. I imagine he'd have a horrible
Norman Bates complex and have to leave the dinner table every few minutes to
phone his mom. Alucard could be unpleasant. Unless he transforms into mist
in bed. Mmm... damp.
2) I hate Xenogears. The story isn't necessarily GOOD, it's just complicated
and long. There's nothing particularly original about it. The battle system
is painful. It lacks art direction. The second disc would be a joke if it
was funny. Yes! Crucify me, Xenogears zealots! Stick me with a euphemistic
spear while you're at it.
3. I want Mystique's transformation powers. Isn't it odd though that of all
the forms her natural body could take, she always opts for the blue-skinned,
yellow-eyed tacky body?
4. Herman Melville. Moby-Dick all the way. Though I do love the Harry Potter
books. I saw the movie twice! And I'm 21! The movie theatre was packed both
times with more adults that kiddies. Why is it that British authors write
better kids books than American ones? Narnia Chronicles, Roald Dahl books,
Harry Potter, etc. Maybe because Britain doesn't shelter its kids so much
from the darker aspects of life; they let things like death and mysticism
slip into their childrens literature. Of course, they did give us
5. Never played either game... but everyone in the world should play
SoulReaver2. Sorry, had to slip that in :)
Keep up your sexy column, kitty.
1. Shortly after dinner, you find out just what Sephiroth is compensating for with that twelve-foot katana. Then, he puts on a dress, runs you through, and screams "Oh Mother! What have you done!?"
2. The second disc of Xenogears was more disapointing/horrifying than finding a can of Cruex in your girlfriend's purse.
3. Being a shapeshifter would be too cool. If I ever got those powers, I'd spend the first month in the form of various ex-presidents/prime ministers/popes, lie down nude on a public sidewalk, and throw bavarian creme donuts at bikers.
4. I think that goes for all of Europe. Read the original Grimm fairy tales sometimes. Definetly designed to scare the hell (quite literally) out of their kids. I suppose the American prudishness stems from the fact that our ancestors were a bunch of puritans.
5. I got a lot of answers like this for question five.
Girl, that ain't just good, that's PERFECT!
I stop by RPGamer at least once a day, mainly for this
section, but I've never written in until today when
you're five questions happened to pique my interest.
So, without further ado(What exactly is ado anyway? It
sounds like something nasty that people would step
1. Definitely Selphie. She was just way too bubbly and
enthusiastic. She reminded me too much of a
2. Chrono Trigger. Yes, you read right, I dislike
Chrono Trigger(incidentally, all hate mail should be
directed to me, Aristobulous@yahoo.com, and not chesh
or any of the other Q&A hosts). I can't really
pinpoint an exact reason as to why either. I guess
part of the reason is that I've never been much of a
fan of anything involving time travel. Please tell me
I'm not the only one out there who didn't like it?
3. Hmm... That's a tough one... For me, it's a toss-up
between Shadowcat and Professor X. Being able to
become intangible would be a lot of fun. You could go
anywhere you wanted to. Being able to read people's
minds and control their thoughts would great too. With
powers like that, a person could become the most
influential and charismatic person in the world. Of
course, using the powers for that would probably be
considered misuse, but then again, who would be able
to stop you? Besides the cows anyway(They're slowly
taking over the world whilst everybody is unaware of
their shady dealings...).
4. I'm going to have to cheat again and pick two, Neil
Gaiman and Joel Rosenberg. Sadly enough, it seems that
too few people have ever even heard of Rosenberg. His
Guardians of the Flame series is my favorite series of
books. Gaiman's American Gods is my favorite book of
all time. I don't suppose, by chance, you've read
anything by either of them, have you?
5. Having had no experience with either, I can't
really answer the question. Did I mention that cats
are my favorite animals? Heh... Cleverly dodged that
And now, an official questions for you... If you could
interview any RPG character, who would you choose? I'd
choose Cloud, if only for just one question...
Me: "Cloud, what was going through your mind while you
were wearing that dress?"
Cloud: "Well, I think there's a lot to be said for a
tough-guy hero who isn't afraid to show his
femininity. Plus, I thought Don Corneo was kind of
Me: "Ack... That's really more than I wanted to
Anyway, I'll leave you with that disturbing thought...
1. I know several people in real life who ARE Selphie. I give FF8 credit for creating some good characters.
2. Wow. Quite bold. I'll grant that almost everything involviong time travel sucks. CT was ok, though. So was Quantum Leap and "The Time Machine."
3. If you're Professor X, you get a really hot empress for a girlfriend. You also get to say things like, "Do I know if Scott borrowed the car? Do I look like a MIND-READER?!" Then laugh. When one of your students doesn't laugh at your stupid joke, immediately assume that he/she is Mystique in disguise and force him/her to mentally experience what it's like to see Omega Red naked. Cruel? Yes, but that's what they deserve for not laughing.
4. American Gods looks good, and would be on my list if I didn't have loads of required reading to do.
5. Cats are nice. I'd like to interview Crono, just to hear what he sounds like. (If he can't talk, then I'm moving onto Ultimecia.)
Everybody is Cheering!!!
1. Female: Anna Navarre from Deus Ex...just too...robotic and cold
Male: Ghaleon from Lunar 1...would be too preoccupied with evil laughter.
2. Eh, I find it kinda hard to dislike any game, but I'll go with
Terranigma...just couldn't get into it.
3. Hmm...well, if you count the Kid's WB X-men, then Shadowcat's powers
would be nice...passing through walls could be really fun. Out of the old
X-men...any psychic/telekinetic powers. Out of the Justice League? The
lasso of truth would be great to have, if that counts.
4. Orson Scott Card, hands down. Know if he's got any new books out?
5. Haven't played SC5, so I"ll have to go with "YOU ARE A DANCE MACHINE!"
"GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!" "THIS TIME WE'VE SELECTED A HOT SONG! HERE WE
GO!" GUY...er, guy.
I'm curious: Are you going to see Lord of the Rings? I want to, but the
way it's being "Harry Potter'd" now, I'm not so sure...
With my unhealthy desire for evil women being what it is, a date with Anna might not be the worst thing ever. Unless of course the movie you two were planning to see happens to contain her killphrase. "Flatlander Woman IV!" An exploding cyborg tends to disrupt a full theatre.
I've been told by several folks that Terra gets a lot better once you're done reviving everything.
I still want to be Green Lantern. My sick imagination combined with that ring? Ph34r!
It's been out for a while, but he wrote a really good book about writing Science Fiction and Fantasy. Worth a read.
Of course I'm going to see Lord of the Rings. Are you daft, man? In the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie...
What are you DO-ing?
Some good questions...hmm...I'll have to think about these...
1. I'd say Fujin from FF8, for obvious reasons.
Waiter: What would you like?
2. I can't say I really care for Breath of Fire (game, not series), the main reason being I couldn't get past that castle at the very beginning. It was
just too hard! >:( Because of that "bad experience," I haven't tried any other games in the series.
3. I would have to say Nightcrawler, even though he's ugly as sin and leaves a bad odor behind when he teleports. If not him, it'd be cool to have
4. Honestly, I don't read much. About the only authors I read much of are J. R. R. Tolkien, Brian Jacques, and Douglas Adams.
5. I've never played either of those...sorry. ^^;
Oh, and about Terranigma: it gets *much* better after you revive everything.
1. So you wanna go do something afterwards?
2. I had trouble there too. Then, I found the weapon shop and bought something better than my sharpened stick to poke things with. That helped.
3. Two votes for Shadowcat. Most chose either Wolverine or Superman.
4. Hey, those choices work out just fine.
5. Well, poo on you. :P