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   Time Warp  
Chris Martin - October 28th '01- 2:00 Eastern Standard Time

It's that time of the year again! The weekend was an extra hour long. More time for sleep.

Went to Blockbuster today. Had to help a friend pick cartoons to rent. Wound up picking the gargoyles movie and the Dark Phoenix saga. I'm pretty sure Storm is everyone's favorite. After watching the X-men movie, it was nice to hear that powerful, regal Storm once again. "Wind! Rain! Cast down my enemy! Your mistress commands you!"

I haven't been drunk in a long damn time. I think I'll fix that as soon as I'm done with this column.

Recent Q&A's

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A novel idea. (Get it? It's funny!)

Heya Chesh.

Do you think that if some games with very good plotlines, like Xenogears or Lunar, were written as novels that they would be good novels? This is assuming that while the story would remain intact, the game would have to be written as a novel, with lots od descriptive elements and also the need to be told from some point of view.

--Maikeru

Mr. Kitty:
My verdict is a very large "maybe." A novel is a completly different medium than an RPG. For example, many elements of the RPG "world" would have to be changed for a novel. For example, running around slaughtering monsters shouldn't teach you spells just because you learn "Magic Experience" or something. With a book, you need some form of logic. With an RPG, elements are like that because they're, well, games. Games are fun. Two completly different animals. In an RPG, you'd call something a "sidequest." In a novel, you'd call it a "horrible digression."

 
Diet Pepsi ain't half bad

Heya, Cat-sama! I've got some questions for you:

1. Who would win this deathmatch: Phil (from Slayers) or Mr. Satan (from DBZ)?

2. Is it just me, or is Animorphs the single most underrated book series ever?

3. Why does my cat keep staring at me? I already fed him.

4. What do you think of Lufia: The Legend Returns? Personally, I didn't scream in agony from the lack of puzzles nearly as long as I thought I would.

5. Fiddler on the Roof has some of the best songs ever. I can't believe I've never heard of "If I Were a Rich Man" before.

6. Here's a real question: I'm in a bit of a dilemma in my AD&D group. One of my allies, an evil half-imp, has been threatening to slaughter our party for a while, but he's never actually done anything evil. One of my other allies, a neutral human, got hold of a wish spell and turned this half-imp into a lawful neutral human. Needless to say, this half-imp turned human is not happy and is out for revenge. Being a Paladin, what should I do if a battle ensues?

7. That's about it. Goodbye!

Cheshire Catalyst:
1. WHO?! I'm not sure who you're talking about. Could you possibly be referring to Hercule, perhaps? That silly, boastful Hercule! His name is obviously Hercule! (Except for the few scenes where FunImation forgot to edit the word "Satan" out of the cheering crowd's signs. Now, parents will look at the show and think there's some evil, subliminal message.
2. I dunno. I never read them outside of fipping through a few pages in the bookstore.
3. Feed the cat again. Then pet it. The cat is your master.
4. I played it at a friend's place. It was, in a word, aiight.
5. I liked "Phantom of the Opera." Then again, everyone did. Everyone, of course, except one girl on the bus during that fateful senior trip. Her quote, "It was ok. It just had, like, too much music."
Yep, too much music at a musical. That's like going to a baseball game, and complaining because there was too much "fielding."
6. This is why I never liked labelling characters in D&D as "Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic - Good/Neutral/Evil." A character will act according to their personality. If the imp doesn't do anything evil, then it really isn't evil. Also, after becoming "Lawful Neutral", would it still seek revenge? The guy DID transform the imp against it's will. If the imp really was evil, then perhaps the ends do justify the means. But maybe your paladin needs to ask if that guy had the right to do that to Mr. Imp. It also depends on which "God/Goddess" your paladin serves. Just like a cleric, the patron God/Goddess plays a large factor in your characters personal philosophy.
Ok. Goodbye to you.





Quickies

do you know how many yen per dollar? or where I can find out?

As of today, one United States Dollar is equal to 122.650 Japanese Yen. Or, One Japanese yen equals four-fifths of an american cent.

You think having your team mascot as an adjective is bad? It's not nearly as terrible as having a SCOTTY DOG as your mascot! Seriously, the Scotties don't sound terribly ferocious or intimidating. :P

Spektre

Hey, I guess our mascot wasn't so bad. At least our little guy had a gun. Oh, and you should hear some of the more.. colorful remarks made during the annual Colonials vs. Raiders (Injun Raiders, that is) football game.

Remember the slapping mini-game you could play in FF7 with Tifa? Wouldn’t it be great if that was available at the golden saucer? You could even have tactics and combos and stuff

~The Untalented Bard~

The slappin' mini-game will be key in the upcoming "Glendale Trailer Park RPG"

So if the new issue is the nanotech age, it means that we no longer have to concern ourselves with finding an explanation for ANYTHING, it's simply... NANOTECHS!

How can we solve world hunger? NANOTECHNOLOGY
Need a raise? NANOTECHNOLOGY
Why do we always end up with one sock missing? NANOTECHNOLOGY
Out of crackers? NANOTECHNOLOGY
Plot hole? NANOTECHNOLOGY

Seriously, Xenogears is my all-time fave but... NANOTECHNOLOGY SOLVES ALL got a little old at some point ^_^

- andrew
NANOTECHNOLOGY

"The Diamond Age" taught us that, even with the miracle of Nanotech, humanity is still greedy, petty, and self-destructive. Books are nice.

The Last Laugh:

See you next week, peoples.

chesh "With Jonathan Frakes as "Zanatos" " @rpgamer.com
and Mirina Sirtis as Demona. Sexy.

Old Issues
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  • Oh yeah, Xenogears.
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New Issues
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  • Xenosaga?


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