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Chris Martin- February 3rd '01- 12:00 Eastern Standard Time

I am revived! My health has finally returned to me. No longer do I have to bow before the porcelian altar. Haha!

Crazy week here folks. Our week of guest-hosts turned into a week of... one guest-hosted column. Tragedy upon tragedy! But never fear, RPGamer is back online and ready to continue to supply you with all of the information you need.

In anime news, I picked up the sixth Trigun DVD. Vash's history explained, and a costume change. Oh, and we see Vash naked. Not a pleasant sight. All in all, Trigun is an awesome show. After watching it, I'm became really interested in trench-coats and guns. I mean, -really- interested. The same way -Xenogears- got me into putting -hyphens- next to important words.

Enough! Q&A time!

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In the PC:
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Hilarious.
In the PlayStation:
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Unintentionally Hilarious.
Assorted Nonsense

I got a good feeling.

I think I'll order a pizza.

This is the way!
Holy Spumoni! I'm actually helpful here...

Hillo there lil science cat type person lady! the thing.......... Anywhosle,got a few questions for ya.

1.got a PS2,it rules!!!! but when's Dark Cloud coming out?

2.The only reason I want the remake of Chrono Trigger is for the anime cut scenes,is this a god enough reason,or are there other things,like added treasures and techs?

3.Do you like Jell-O pudding as much as me?

4.If a tree falls down in the forest,and it hits a mime,does anyone care?

5.Remember the time you grossed out Gargoyle Gal by showing her a mouth full of chewed up coleslaw?

The masked Mystere P.S:When does Goog get back?

Cheshire Catalyst:
cat person type LADY? Dude. Looks like I'll have to post a picture of myself. We can even have a "Draw an anime Chris" contest. Why? To assert my masculinity? Yeah. Pretty much. Oh yeah...

1.) The tentative release date for "Dark Cloud" for PS2 is Febuary 15th. If not then, certainly this quarter. Yes, it does look cool.
2.) The remake of Chrono Trigger is just Chrono Trigger + Anime cutscenes. You can download the movies from right here. Oh, and if you watch the epilouge movie, you see that they've added a little Chrono Cross tie-in. Awesome, huh?
3.) Jell-O is mighty tasty.
4.) I imagine the mime would care. You know that if the mime cried for help, I'd be the obnoxious jerk saying, "Ah ah ah! You're not supposed to talk!" First, he'd have to pantomime me calling an ambulance with with shattered legs and arms covered in a blood-soaked leotard before I'd call 911. Hey, you choose "mime" as a career, you know the risks involved.
5.) That entire night is a blur...

 
Killing Dark Gods 101

Hey there cat guy

Just had a few things to say and one question to ask.

1. I'm pretty sure it was you and not the slime that was playing Lunar2 so i ask you, how do you beat Zophar? I'm level 50 but i sorta got a little too into the story and well....missed the Dragon Nest and the Lion Cave. So i ask you, what you think I should do. Hate to have to start over.

2. I started playing FF9, seeing how i cant beat Lunar2, and is just me or is this FF an millon times better the FF8? I love this game, 8 just pissed me off.

3. And finaly I just like to say your pretty damn funny. Keep up the good work.

(ok, question, Check. Comment, check. Ass kiss, check. looks like I'm done)

~Twisted~

Cheshire Catalyst:
1.) Go out into Althena's tower and level up to Level 51. Jean gains a new technique. Do you have enough Star/Silver lights? A powerful trick is to give Lemina the white-dragon seal. For 50 MP, she can cast "White Dragon Protect". This allows all of your party members to each absorb the effect of one spell. It's handy when you need to recover. Oh yeah, most importantly, you have to believe in yourself and don't do drugs.
2.) FF9, for all of our kvetching, is still a mighty fun game to play. Complaining about FF9 is like saying your steak isn't done to perfection. Not everyone on earth gets to eat steak, and not everyone gets to play RPGs. We just like to rag on it because its "The New Final Fantasy Game!" It's a lot of fun, but a bit too predictable and a little too derivative. Fun? If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't play it.
3.) Funny "Ha-Ha" or funny "Strange"? Oh, you get a pound symbol for an ass-kissing. #. Don't be too excited. Pound symbols are like, 1/18th as good as a tilde.

 
Tonight, on Springer. CosPlaying politicians.
AHHH!!! Hillary Clinton is dressing up like Schala!!!

-Glenn Elliott

Cheshire Catalyst:

This is disturbing. Not as disturbing as the time Strom Thurmond dressed up like Emperor Palpatine and shot black-light looking electricity at me. Still plenty freaky, though. George Bush building a machine that taps into some mysterious creature in the center of the earth, John Ashcroft speculating that all life begins and ends with Nu, and now this? Oh yeah. This is some heavy conspiracy stuff you've unearthed here. Glenn, if Dick Cheney dressed like Dalton hasn't thrown you into a time-vortex yet, thanks. You might have just saved the world.

 
Tomorrow, on Springer. Insane Japanese buisnessmen, and their midget S&M love slaves.

Anou... I'm a bit confused with this whole Nintendo/Square deal.

How exactly can Nintendo deny rights for Square to publish for their system? Yes, I know that Nintendo manufactures the carts and whatever, but from the appearances, it looks like Nintendo is saying 'unless you publish for the GC, you can't publish for the GBA'.

I honestly don't understand this. Why the hell would they have a policy like that, when they theoretically allow every other company to publish games for other platforms or whatever.

I know Square 'backstabbed' Nintendo, but why the vengeance? If Nintendo realized the loss of Square is what 'broke' the N64, why in bloody hell would they deny Square's publishing on the GBA?

More confuzzled than after watching the Utena series, movie, musical, and reading the manga within two days of no sleep,

~wonkycyber

Cheshire Catalyst:
We're all really puzzled by this. So far, the most popular explanation seems to be "Hiroshi Yamauchi is freaking insane." It seems he has a personal vendetta against Squaresoft. He also plans on crushing Bill Gates and his American-devil manufactured X-Box. Right now, I imagine he's smashing a copy of Xenogears with his wrinkled, yellow, Machiavellian fist. It's like, after all of these years, he's finally turned into one of villains from one of his games.

 
Toilet HUmar

I just have one really simple question: how exactly do you defend from attacks? I'm having a real problem with this because i chose the HUmar and have to stay at close range. I keep dying because blocking seems to just happen randomly for me. Maybe it's because i'm such a cheap bastard when it comes to using items. The HUmar gets healing spells.... right?

-Manic Mailman, who's beginning to think he should've chosen a ranger

Cheshire Catalyst:
Try making friends with your robot pal. Purchasing decent armor helps. Also, try hitting the attack buttonm just before you're attacked. A lot of the RPGamer PSO players are Rangers. And yes, HUmar can get healing spells.

 
Quickies
Heya Chesh!

Is it just me, or does Tidus look a lot like a blond Squall? When I first saw that picture of him in EGM, "Blond Squall" was the first thing that popped into my mind. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, I was just wondering if it was just me.

-Brett

Return of FF8's character designer. Yeah, Tidus does look a lot like squall. He also looks a lot like Sean Penn in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Hopefully, FF10's creators will take a few notes from the movie, and include boobs.

(Happosai runs by with a bag full of Bras and Panties) Uwee hee hee! Watta haul! (as he runs past you notice he's being chased by almost every female RPG character there has ever been)

~Happosai
"Now -this- is how you enjoy life!"

Evil anime women turn me on. Shampoo is hot. Sump Akane, Ranma, and kick Mousse's ass.

what do you think about the recent official announcements about the end of dreamcast support by sega and sega's decision to develop for the ps2 and game boy advance?

-verbal

When I was a kid, I used to engage in pointless arguements with my friends as to who was better: Sega or Nintendo. (Unlike normal kids, who argue about WWF characters) That arguement ended in a stalemate. Until now. It never occured to me that I might actually win this one. You readin' this, Rich? BOO-yah!

If you save all of the butterflies, then the spiders will starve.

The Last Laugh:

Show's over, folks. I'm outta here. I've got Sociology to study. Adios!


Chesh"Pointless anime quotes return tomorrow."@rpgamer.com

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