THE CRAVE GAMING CHANNEL
V'lanna
 






Affiliates
metacritic
AnimeBooks
Play-Asia.com

R P G A M E R . C O M   -   A S K   A N D R E W   L O N G

questionanswer&andrew


Sappy Football Movie 84

Andrew Long - October 31 '03- 01:11 Eastern Standard Time

PERHAPS INSPIRED BY SOME SORT OF reverse-karma principle involved in Paws having thwarted candy thievery in her place of employment, some dirty little tuckers came into my own store and decided to make off with a basket full of candy. Now granted, I can understand stealing candy if you're a dumb kid, but is there really any need to take the basket it's sitting in? I mean, the thing couldn't have cost any more than a dollar, and it was orange-pink, for soccer's sake. Of course, it was delightfully decorated with plastic ghosts but it still wouldn't have rated anywhere on my personal List of Things To Steal Someday.

Now, my list isn't even all that selective, so you can understand how getting beaten out by Ugly Train Poster and Nail Clipper is a tad demeaning. Of course, baskets being baskets, it probably doesn't care, but I bet those kids are feeling quite the fools now. Well, at least they would be if they read this. Which they won't. So I guess the moral of the story is, if a tree falls in the woods and nobody's there to hear it, some little jerk will steal a candy basket and Rudy will be joining me. And now, live from wherever he is, the only English-speaking White Mage currently playing on the Cait Sith server from the town of Windhurst, the vivacious SailooooooooooorKatie!

Rudy:

My dreams tonight will probably involve me following my friends around irl casting cure on them everytime they bump into anything or simply move.

Andrew:

Let's all hear it for rudy! He cares





SEND LETTER




10-30-03
10-29-03
10-28-03
10-27-03



This Month
Full Archives



About the Editor



It's Halloween
the lamp is lit
Around the fire,
the children sit
Then the cops came

Imperial Mog Makes His Return!


Greetings (Pumpkins sing) Casto-mel

Now what sort of getup should I wear to make me irresistable to fangirls since I really could use one? I didn't have one declare their love of me for my birthday a couple of weeks ago so I am curious as to this?
Imperial Mog

ANDREW
Well, girls seem to adore Kaji from that Evangelion television animated program I've heard so much about, so maybe you should give that a try. It does come with a minor downside, however: you'll also get tons of fanboys discussing who killed you after you get shot to death in an elevator. Still, you have to take the good with the bad in relationships, or so I hear.

RUDYXX
Dress up as that Master Chef Guy from Halo because everyone knows that underneith all that armor, he's one really sexy guy. And not only that but girls love guys that can cook. And man can the Master Chef cook one mean pot of gumbo.


No soup for you!


I come to thee all mighty RPGamer site! Save me from the enternal suffering, ive been waiting for so long but Disgaia: Hour of Darkness has not come! IT was released like a lil while ago but still no word as to when its being shipped to Canada. IS ther esumthin im missing that was said or am i to suffer with disgaia just out of my reach?

ANDREW
Enternal suffering? You should probably get that looked at dude, I bet it's some sort of gallstone or maybe a ruptured appendix, or maybe both at once, which I hear gets you a free masectomy in some hospitals. As for your worries that the game is not in Canada, they are unfounded - I have the game, Paws has the game, the guy who bought the last copy just ahead of me in the first store I went into who has since gone mysteriously missing had Disgaea, and you can too if you're up to the odd healthy abduction and cover-up!

Failing that, head to your friendly neighbourhood store - unless you're living in close proximity to the Arctic Circle, it should be there since it seems as though Atlus actually did a second run (or at any rate released enough copies to keep my local EB consistently stocked).

RUDYXX
Did you know the guys that made Disgaea also made THIS??? Doesn't that just make you want to play the game even more! I mean just look at how huge kururu's boobs are in Marl Jong. She's only like 12 in the game...imagine what she'll be like when she's 20??? :O

ANDREW
I hate you.

5-3... FOR WHY


Castomel,

Halloween is tomorrow...which is today in terms of Q&A. Tomorrow (err...today) will be a day of sitting home and playing video games. Maybe not... Probably have some people over and watch horr.......oh wait, I already told you LAST week. My least favorite Halloween candy would be the dreaded...*insert dun-dun-duns!!*...those disguisting Brachs-type candy wrapped in plain black or orange wrappers. I really can't think of the name. They're supposed to taste like maple or honey I believe, but they taste like crap in a hexagonal-ish shape of nastiness. The Leafs are playing the Sabres tonight...I put my money on the Leafs.

Happy Halloween Castomel,

O' Shrouded One

ANDREW
Hmm, bad decision on the betting, my friend. The defense came down with a bad case of suck, possibly brought on by those candies you mention. I think the Canadian counterpart comes in similar wrappings, except with some yellow thrown in and a lame attempt at art in the bargain, and they do indeed get my vote as the most pestilential force to ever darken Halloween by its very presence, save possibly for those assheads who hand out fistfuls of cheesies from their own personal hands or those health-conscious jerks with their raisins. My mother can get me raisins, thank you very much. Halloween is about rotting my teeth, wrecking my costume, and getting a giant pillowcase full of SUGARY GOODNESS. Not raisins, enough candy energy to drive a schoolbus into the sun.

This has been a public service announcement from RPGamer.

RUDYXX
OH MAN THAT CANDY IS THE BEST CANDY EVER! IT REMOVES YOUR TEETH FROM YOUR GUMS AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL 2 DAYS LATER WHEN YOU ARE DONE CHEWING IT.


Tellin' it like it is


In response to Rich's letter yesterday, my very favorite game is Chrono Trigger, and yes, I can still take it out and have fun playing it to this day. Being someone who doesn't have an unlimited supply of money anymore, I can't get most of the new games I wanna try. So, to waste time in between, I play the ones I have over again. I can still play all the old Final Fantasys (especially the SNES ones), Phantasy Stars (I'm working on 2 right now), Dragon Warriors (finished 4 a month ago), and a whole host of others. Maybe I just like repeating my life over and over again (probably not good), but because of all the time

I spend on older games, I tend to favor them better. Whatever.

Kaiju Munky

ANDREW
Thanks for sharing, Kaiju. For what it's worth, I agree entirely, although I'm currently not playing any old games due to my SNES being out of commission at the moment and my NES having finally, mercifully, exploded five or six years ago in a final, glorious hail of scan lines and shrapnel.

RUDYXX
Yeah I agree wholeheartedly. I try at least once a year to play entirely through Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy VI, Mario RPG, and Lunar Silver Star. And I have ever since I got those games. I don't think I could ever get tired of them. :)


Diabble


I won't be going on to even check the patch for a while (maybe even NEVER!!) because my account got it's password changed (probably cause I had a meph bot on it). And maybe bots shouldn't be used, but I was sick of wasting tons of hours doing meph runs and getting nothing good... oh well, at least I have CS, DoD, and Suikoden III to tide me over for now :-)

Oh yeah, I didn't even know you played D2. If you don't mind my asking, what chars do you got?

And on another subject, what kind of music do you like?

- Rebbie
(and I for one found the "1337" speak thing to be funny. Nice job.)

RUDYXX
My brother plays Diablo 2 a lot. He also looks at a lot of porn and gets caught often doing such. So in turn, I would vote against going down that path and maybe turning your life around and getting a job in a flower or candle shop....then again, my brother also does that.

And I enjoy listening to the wondrous music found in games like Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure. Also most older disney movies have enjoyable songs to sing along with. But they don't so much as do that any more and that's why kids these days have no respect for their elders.

ANDREW
I have the world's most devious assassin, currently killing it up around level 57 or something. I don't play too often so I never have managed to knock out a good Hardcore character. Anyhow, my various mules, easily identifiable by the appearance of the root "mul" somewhere in their names, range from barbarians to paladins to necros, the other three classes I use. Amazons and Druids and Sorcs and I just don't get along.

My music of choice varies depending on what kind of mood I'm in; usually I like listening to electronic stuff - all-sorts trance(psy-tech-cheese-progressive-hard), techno, hard house, deep house, and the occasional bout of hardcore just to remind me how much it sucks (well, unless you're under the influence of very naughty narcotics, but having never combined the two, my opinion remains solidly "suck"). I also like various styles of rock and can humour classical music sometimes. And, in unsurprising news given my employment hereabouts, I also like the odd video game track, especially if it's Mitsuda or Uematsu, but never if it's Rhapsody, which is why I must regretfully send my assassin to do rudy in. Ah, Del Monte...

So I guess you could go with the most dreadful of terms, "eclectic taste". Never fear, I do have a favorite group that doesn't change with the month - Underworld rocks my socks, and I also have an abiding hatred for all things rap and new country, regardless of how entertaining pimpin' mah hoes might be as I mourn the loss of my Chevy Truck to Jack Daniels whiskey. Anyhow, enjoy your peaches, old man--- they will be your last!


Phones are for suckers


Yay for typos and stupid AOLosers. My away message on AIM is "SHOODD KNOTT TAKL 2 MEE WILE I R AWEY SENSE I WIL NOT B HERE 2 ANWSER.!!!!11 JUST KIDIGN I WOODNOT TEL U 2 GO AWAY ADN B SO MEEN WITHU=OUT EBVEN NOING WHOO U R, ASL!??!!!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!!/1/1///11/1/11"

So, since this is theoretically a Q&A column, I have a question. Can you pay for FF11's monthly fee over the phone, rather than over the internet? I have a friend whose parents are very distrustful of internet privacy. They refuse to have sense talked into them. The PlayOnline website says "The information on the payment methods for the retail version is not available at this point. There are no charges during the beta period." Which doesn't help much.

RUDYXX
> No you can't pay for the game any other way than doing it through payonline and with a valid visa or master card. And you also arn't allowed to play the game if you come from Canada....or so I hear.

ANDREW
Rudy, Why you gotta make me hurt you?


M&M's too, mostly cuz I have to type & everytime I type it


Hello Andrew and rudy,

It seems like the older you get, the less you care about this holiday tradition. However, I suppose I never quite cared for it, even as a child. The only thing that I thought was fun, I suppose you can call it, was going door-to-door, observing what other people would give me, in regard to the treats. What I found to be the best candy are the M&Ms, of course. I've always loved them and still do, to this day.

As for Diablo 2, never played it, but I wouldn't mind starting it now. Rarely, does a PC game interest me to the point of laying down cash for it. Diablo is one of those games that addict the masses, interested in the PC or not.

Casper

ANDREW
Pssh.. M&Ms.. The more sugar-filled or sugar-coated or sugar-drenched or all three at once something is, the higher it rates on the Halloween scale of goodness. Thus it is that the best item I ever received was a sock in a bag of sugar, which had fallen into a deepfrier earlier that evening. Mm, mm, socks!

RUDYXX
Even as a young child I was denied the adventure that is Halloween. I was always taught that it has become an EVIL holiday and we can't have none of that now so I don't participate in any of the activies. Of which don't include the turning out of all the lights in your house and hiding in the basement so that maybe the neighborhood kids will run away in fear. And if it makes you feel any worse, I don't get a christmas tree for christmas either because those things have become idols to the world or something.

ANDREW
Holy fundamentalist parents, batman!

BATMAN
Yes, that's what they think... To the Batmobile!

ANDREW
All right! I TOTALLY bet he lets me drive!

BATMAN
No dice.

ANDREW
This ain't ovah!


YOU US
QUICKIE I
Hey Andrew,

Just thought I would mention that I thought the column from a couple days ago was amusing. As for all the whiners who have no sense of humor, well, forget them. If you want to mix things up occasionally, I say more power to you.

Eggman

Andrew:
All right! That power was just what I needed to juice this zombie into action in time for halloween! Now the brains of children Ontariowide shall be MINE! Umm, that is, free candy at my place, certified zombie-free!

rudy:
Speaking of mixing things up, I say that one day, Andrew makes the entire column Rhapsody themed and there are fun songs and lots of the exact same screen over and over.

Andrew:
I have a better idea: DIE

QUICKIE II
Dear rudyxx and Andrew,
My account name is not "Jennifer" it is Sailorkatie. I was aiming for Jennifer but apparently someone stole it from me first.
~rudyxx

Andrew:
I know, I just wasn't sure if you wanted everyone hunting you down in yet another forum.

rudy:
Man that is the most bestest letter I've ever seen someone write into here. You must be the most attractive person to ever visit this page. I bet your boobs are huge.

Andrew:
My only question is WHY you would want to have large breasts...

rudy:
But Andrew I thought you liked girls with big boobs :(

Andrew:
Key word there being "girls".

QUICKIE III
Hey, Drew.

Reading the column today (yesterday) was nearly as amusing as reading your previous column. Finding out how seriously people took your little joke was a little frustrating, but not surprising. I thought it was cute. Ish.

-Captain Faris

Andrew:
See, the trick to stretching out your positive testimonials is dropping unrelated stuff in between. Then it seems like more people are on your side, when in actuality I bet rudy hated being called ruddyxx.

rudy:
You know I didn't actually *read* whatever it is you all are talking about but I don't appreciate being called ruddyxx and for that i'm going to have to remove of both your heads.

QUICKIE IV
Good and Fruity/Plenty 's.
Worst. Halloween. Candy. Ever.

Bucket Mouse

Andrew:
Never heard of 'em, but I'll keep that in mind.

rudy:
That candy is really good for movie theature candy but makes a horrible holloween candy. I'm a big fan of leftover peeps from easter.....

Andrew:
So wait... your parents called Christmas trees heathen idols but let you worship the Easter Bunny? I don't get it...

rudy:
We don't worship the easter bunny, we eat him like the chocolaty goodness that he is.

Andrew:
SILENCE SINNER! THINE GRAVEN IDOLS OF SWEET, SWEET CHOCOLATE SHALL BRING THEE SWEET, DELICIOUS DAMNATION OH MAN... MMM..CHOCOLATE!



DA LAST GRUMBLE

Another week, another zero dollars. It's a hard life, but the pay is good, and I think if I keep at it they might just give me my own broom. Until such a time, start ruminating on the upcoming Dragon Quest V and its new platform of choice. Thoughts, getting it, hating it, hoping it never makes it out of Japan? All opinions are valid here folks, except for the ones I don't like, which I reserve the right to make fun of.

Incidentally, rudy will be joining me again next week, and he has deigned to give me the list of games from which you can select a title to knock him from his perch. In no particular order, then: Sega CD Lunar 2 EB, a sealed copy of Rhapsody (shudder), any langrisser game after three, or beat em and eat em for the Atari 2600. So, search your dusty shelves and if the price is right, you too can be rudy, or at least steal his chair. Well, trick or treat, smell my feet, and damn I hate that second line. Just get on up and get down, cuz it's Halloween and I don't know where my children are!

Oh right.. I don't have any.

rudyxx:
As mentioned earlier I'm really liking Final Fantasy 11 and if anyone is on the Caitsith Server and lives in or around windurst, I seem to be like the only white mage there...So feel free to send a /tell to Sailorkatie or at least say hi and make me think I have friends. :'( Btw please send me Lumar.

castomel@rpgamer.com
Andrew Long is probably going to end up cobbling together a half-assed costume yet again.



rudy@gameshopinc.net
rudyxx has to work on halloween night but will probably still show up to mention Rhapsody at least a dozen times.

GOOGLE WILL PROVIDE THE ANSWERS, YOU PROVIDE THE

QUESTIONS


Andrew doesn't have children because he ate them all for halloween!



© 1998-2013 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy