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ASK ANDREW
When The Wind Blows
April 29th, 2007

Andrew Long - 3:03 EDT

IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, in fact, the very day I first beat FFVI, my dad was watching this awful, depressing British cartoon by the name of the title of this column. It was actually a very good bit of work, but it was awful in its subject matter and depressing in its entirety - it follows the story of two old people, befuddled and with utmost faith in the silly government documents advising them how to survive a nuclear war, dying as a result of a nuclear war. Well, today, for some stupid reason, I decided that watching it would be a swell thing to do, and hey presto, now I'm horribly depressed. Herego, I feel compelled to warn you that I may or may not take it out on you <3 As for the movie, if you haven't seen it, it's available piecemeal on youtube.




LETTERS
Pokemon Lovin'


Hello Andrew (Although Matt might grab this...I do have a comment for the both of you),

First: In reference to a comment that you (Andrew) made in a letter on Sunday, you can find Pikachu in the Pokemon Mansion's garden, on Route 212. It shouldn't take long, and you'll find a Pichu there while you're at it. Two-fer!
Andrew

Thanks for the nose news, neighbour.

Second: I fully relate the "I'm a Pokemon lover" reaction I get from those my age and younger/older. I'm a 25 year-old graduate student in English (so I can relate to the thesis issues as well! Mine occurs later this year, however) and have been captivated by the games since Red and Blue came around. I got bored with the shows years ago, but the games themselves are so unique that I can't help myself. I see pokemon as pets trained to be weapons. How kewl is that? Collectible animal weapons? Heck yeah!
Andrew

As a sometime English major, if not a grad student like yourself, I must cordially request that for the betterment of the language you never again use the term kewl. It makes my hair catch fire.

My girlfriend, who is a few years older than me, has a son who is 12 who is in love with the games as well. She sees me obsessing with the game like her son and cannot fathom the pleasure I gain from this. Until now, her son was my only link to trade between the ruby/sapphire/emerald/FRed/LGreen games, so it's amusing to me that I can now trade universally (which is why I happily own a Cranidos, though I have Pearl...and that PKMN came from Japan! I love it!).

Third: I don't really have any bad games I love to play. I see video games like I see movies: If it's well rated, I'll try it. If not, I won't waste my time. I don't have a lot of time to devote to gaming (or movies, for that matter), so when I see something, it's gonna be worth my while, or else! I will say, however, that I kinda enjoyed Jade Cocoon, way back when. I never finished it, but parts of it were intriguing.

What is it with me and collectible game concepts? **shrugs**

Thanks!
~Syshonblast~

Andrew

Oh, goodness... That'll never work out, because most gaming media gives everything a good score. Be it the fact that biting the hand that feeds you causes no end of problems or that some people just really love games, no matter how crappy they happen to be, the lowest score you're gonna see most places is in the 70s. Which is why you should read our reviews. Specifically, my reviews. You won't go wrong!



Randomblings - now in girlified form!


Hello Andrew!

Long time reader, first time writer (Or not? My first letter didn't seem to have been answered!) Just to tell you a few basic details about myself I'm a 19 year old, female, English RPG gamer!

It seems we PAL gamers have alot of RPG's coming our way over the next few months! I'll be picking up FFIII DS when it's out next Saturday, then we have FFF: Chocobo tales and Shadow Hearts 3: From the new world later in the month (Although out well over a year after it came out in America! how unfair is that?) and Rouge Galaxy and Valkyrie Profile sometime later! but I wanted to ask if there are any DS RPG's that you would recomend? I've looked at Contact a few times but I'm unsure on whether to go for it or not. What do you think?
Andrew

Not to bely what I said in the last letter, but they're all good! FFIII DS, Pokémon P/D, M&L Partners in Time, Puzzle Quest... That thing is literally simmering in its own juices, where its juices means awesome goodness.

I saw that you've got newborn kittens! How cute! Are you going to keep any of them? My sister is getting 2 kittens soon and I've managed to convice her to name one of the "Phoenix" after Phoenix Wright!!! Have you ever named anything after a games character?
Andrew

Why yes! Back in the day, when I randomly became a hamster baron (long story; I got a hamster from the pet store cuz it looked like it was pregnant, and it was, leading to a dynasty of 80 or so hamsters, of which I had anywhere between ten and thirty at a time, before inbreeding and my mom's hatred of animals resulted in their untimely eviction and demise) I named a couple of my charges after FF enemies. First, Poppers, who gained his name after peeing on me, resulting in me pitching him across the room in surprise, bonking him off the living room table in the process. While he was largely unaffected, his eyes did bulge out for the rest of his life. Also, what was easily my most inbred hamster, Bogey, I named after those bulldogs you fight in the snow multi-battle at Narshe. Why'd I name her that? Who knows, she looked nothing like a bulldog, but her permanently twisted neck (I guess inbreeding cost her one of her vertebrae?) sure made her look grizzled.

Urg, Sony have done some stupid things in thier time but to behead a goat to promote a game?! That's disgusting. Animal cruelty annoys me to no end (I am an animal lover and I plan to work with them. I have BTEC National Diploma in Animal Management) I hate to be cruel to animals even in RPGs and I'll pick them over people any day! Such as with Blanca in Shadow Hearts 2, the only reason he is on my team is because he's a wolf! Same with Freya in FFIX, the onyl reason she's on the team is because she is animal like! Does anyone else tend to do that or am I just weird like that?

Here's to lots more letters to come!

Andrew

I was never a big fan of killing those little green dragon bosses in Secret of Mana, cuz they looked so sad when they died, but otherwise I have no compunctions about mashing various monstahs. On the other hand, Sony should certainly have reservations about goatwhacking, and I'm surprised they didn't consider that such silliness would probably draw PETA's attention, or a similar group's. I just can't figure out where to start on how utterly foolish that scheme was, but suffice it to say, I think Kutaragi jumped ship just at the right time, because if this marketing department is any indication, Sony's going to pot.



Why?


Couldn't.. resist.. urge.. to.. send.. letter..

Andrew

If only you hadn't been able to resist the urge to actually say something...



Unfit for Print


hey i have 2 of the three endings on ephemeral fantasia i would like to know the third one if u know it pls

Stephen

Andrew
One upside to not getting much mail is I don't get much mail like this. It makes me wonder if there wouldn't be some benefit in getting no mail at all; in addition to inventing my own letters, I could pretend people like you didn't exist, Steve-o, and maybe answer something worth answering, instead of spoiling a game for the entirety of my readership just so your lazy ass can get out of wasting the time involved in a third(!) playthrough of a mediocre RPG.




IN CLOSING

Hmm... Slim pickings. I demand letters tomorrow, and to help get some, I hereby declare it an open topic day. Just... don't send in questions about the third ending of Ephemeral Fantasia, or I might just send you a copy of the game as punishment.



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Andrew sighs.


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