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ASK ANDREW
Mmm... Stringy Wolf Meat! May 13th, 2005

Andrew Long - 1:23 EST

MEH MEH MEH MEH meh. While the vast majority of that Xbox 360 nonsense was virtually unwatchable, there was one moment of sweet sweet goodness at the end, when the asshat MC interviewed the variously titled professional/uber/American wonder gamer Matt Leto, who had lost a deathmatch. It warmed my heart, because when confronted with his miserable defeat (which, though admittedly a slim margin, was nonetheless sufficient to fill my heart with glee) he chose to act like a small child, and while the whole thing was staged, there's still something sweet about hearing one of those jackass kids who insist they've won even when confronted with evidence to the contrary get told "Yeah... But they beat you, so technically... That makes them the better team."

I know, I'm horrible, but I had to take something out of that waste of a half hour. MTV sure has perfected shows with absolutely no content and lots of shiny lights. In other news, Apple seems to have an uncanny knack for using music I like in their commercials. Makes me wish I was one of those socially responsible MP3 types. Ah, well.



Ramblebox
<3 Gorillaz

-AL  


L E T T E R S
Cherry Tree Times


Dear Cast,

Strangest thing happened just now. I was just sitting here at my computer, reading the awesomeness that is Currents and QnA at the site, when all of a sudden a heard a rumble outside my house. I dropped everything, as much as it pained me to, and I ran outside to see what was going on. It turns out there was this tiny green man rolling a gigantic ball of crap all over the town. As it went, it picked up more and more crap, making it grow bigger and bigger. As I stood frozen in awe, the little green man rolled the ball over my mailbox, trees, house, and then over me! After a while, a gigantic man with a crown threw the ball I was rolled up in out into space. Luckily, stuck in this ball was also a laptop computer with one hell of a wireless reach. So the first thing I decided I would do is write to QnA about it. My question is: any advice?

Katamarily Yours,

Carlisle


ANDREW


You're pretty much screwed, I'm afraid. Those Katamari are difficult to escape from, so unless you find something to bump into out there in outer space, your chances of becoming disentangled are slim to none. On the upside, at least you won't be confronted with the image of the King's bulging codpiece anymore.


Lowered Expectations


Dear Castomellian;

Off to E3 are we? Don't get denied at the border or anything. Anyway, here is a silly question. What are you least anticipating at E3?

Also, nab me goodies. (I will drastically reduce my game-selling-rate for you if you do. By reduce I mean negate. Serious.)

Love,
Scar


ANDREW

After watching that horror show put on by Microsoft, I would have to say that anything to do with the Xbox 360 now frightens me within an inch of my life, especially considering the fact that half the games wouldn't have looked out of place on the plain ol' Xbox. And come on... Mandatory wireless controllers? That thing better have a charger, or I'll be pissed, cuz I sure as hell don't want to have to buy batteries every time I pick up an RPG.



Ah, the age-old aesthetic dilemma


What was the point in Kingdom Hearts with being able to change party members? Did it really make that much of a difference in gameplay? Most of the time, I just felt like there nothing special about them since you never had the option of controlling them directly instead of Sora.

ANDREW

What indeed? For that matter, what was the point of all the extra characters in FFVII? Or FFVIII? Or the sixty or so characters in any given Suikoden title that are utterly redundant? The answer, my friend, is that some people like to fill their parties with busty girls, while others eschew those in favour of muscle-bound stalwarts, and still others are swoony for bishounen-style heroes. In sum, there's no real point to it other than to create additional marketing tie-ins for Disney, which I'm sure it will take full advantage of sooner or later. Who knows - while they're at it, maybe they can get decent VA for the upcoming Miyazaki film. I wouldn't count on it, but hey - there's always a first time for everything!



Strategery ahoy!


In response to comments from the May 12th edition, to Andrew-

I have indeed played many other SRPGs. Final Fantasy Tactics /Advanced, Arc the Lad: Twilight of the Spirits, Front Mission 4, Disgaea, Stella Deus, Phantom Brave, Fire Emblem GBA, Fire Emblem 4, Fire Emblem Gaiden, and yet I still believe Bahamut Lagoon is the best of the crop. Indeed, you are entitled to believe I haven't played any others because I think it is one of the best and it disagreed with your views on SRPGs, but I must say that it is not true.
ANDREW

Then we shall agree to disagree, much as your impressive list has failed to sway me. I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!

However, I must say that nostalgia may indeed seep into that, as much as I hate to admit it, I just loved the game so much :(.

And I do agree that many see every game not brought over as the machinations of some huge plot by a great EVIL, but I know there are indeed many garbage titles in Japan that don't make it here that we should be thankful they didnt come, now if only such scrutiny would have kept out Shining Tears.
-W


ANDREW

Yes, regrettably, the ass filter does not prevent some truly terrible games from making the journey across the Pacific. Dual Hearts, anyone? How about Paladin's Quest, or Crapsody? Why these make it over in favour of some of the mediocre titles on my list is a mystery to me, because we really could have done without the musical RPG experience, if you ask me (and don't even get me started on that detestable pigbunny.)



Squoingy, Squoingy!


Hello

I need your recommendation.

I would like to know if, in your opinion, I should pick up Stella Deus. Not easy if don't know me, so here is my past in TRPG. It's short I promise.

I started with Vandal Heart and then Final Fantasy Tactics. That's it :)

Vandal Heart was a great entry level TRPG while FFT showed me how I can easily get my @$$ kicked in those games (Damn you band of Chocobos at the waterfall!) I did not play any of the latest TRPG that came out (I don't remember the company's name, but they did Disgea) I was really intrigued by there gameplay concept.

Anyway, should I pick Stella Deus or one of that other company's TRPG (Disgea, Lapucelle, etc.)

Thank you!

Maxime Dziuszko


ANDREW

I'd go with Disgaea, judging from our review of Stella Deus, which suggests that the title is less than it's cracked up to be. This isn't to say that Paws couldn't be wrong, of course, but she's played a lot of TRPGs in the last year, and besides, Disgaea is lots of fun and lots and lots of gameplay, so you won't go bored.

Also, I concur wholeheartedly on the matter of those chocobos; though I managed to beat them, it took me over an hour to do so.



You got that right...


Just to be nitpicky, Apple's music service isn't just for iPods. Anybody can use iTunes, whether you've got a Mac, PC, iPod or no iPod. All you need to is just pay the 99 cents for a song or however much they decide to charge for the full albums. Anyway, what are you most looking forward to at E3? The world needs to know.

~MB


ANDREW

Thanks for sharing, MB, and I did indeed fail to mention that any sucker willing to cough up 99 cents for an MP3 can do so over at apple.com. As far as E3, I am quite looking forward to three things: one, seeing what Nintendo has up its sleeve in regards to its next-gen console, two, somehow finagling a plushy out of Natsume, and three, talking to Blizzard about whatever the terribly-kept secret that is the upcoming title I smell a forthcoming announcement for. Failing that, I can just go Wayne's World on them for about ten minutes or so.



So... Is this like holding us to a promise or something?


since im into classic snes games

i wanted to share this with you all. plus to remind you that rpgamer.com made the list and we should still wish we get these games

GBA Wishlist Feature

all the best

Paine


ANDREW

Thanks for sharing Paine, but you should remember that while we did in fact make the list, that feature was compiled back in the day when we thought the GBA could do anything. As she turned out, it wasn't quite that magnificent, and my own hopes for any of those titles rapidly faded with each shabby release (yes, I'm looking at you FFTA/Sword of Mana/Golden Sun). Either way, RPGamer doesn't really have any say as to what games get developed, and given the current handheld generation, I'm willing to guess that none of those games will ever appear on the GBA. I guess you can always hope for an NDS release, though.



WoW geekery - because I can


One thing that disturbs me in World of Warcraft is how a good many of the cooking recipes have disgusting ingredients in them. For instance (for mostly alliance areas):
  • Kaldorei Spider Kabob contains Small Spider Leg.
  • Westfall Stew contains Goretusk (Boar) Snouts, Stringy Vulture Meat, and Murloc Eyes.
  • Blood Sausage contains Bear Meat, Boar Intestines, and Spider Ichor.
  • Redridge Goulash contains Tough Condor Meat and Crisp Spider Meat (and perhaps something else).
  • Gooey Spider Cake contains Gooey Spider Legs and Hot Spices.
  • Curiously Tasty Omelet contains Raptor Egg and Hot Spices. Actually, this one's OK, except for the description: "Don't ask, you don't want to know".

These are just the weird ones I've come across.

Incidently, did you get a chance to do the Children's Week quests last week?
--
R. Bemrose
Webmaster, VGMusic.com


ANDREW

Yeah, had I bothered to spend any time cooking with my mage, I would have been thoroughly grossed out by that stew recipe when I saw it. As it was, I just cashed it in like the vendor trash it is. On the upside, the revelation that Murloc Eyes are food has opened a whole new door of grossing my sister out. I also can't wait to encounter some of that condor meat.

As far as Children's Week goes, the closest I came to it was coming across a random pack of schoolchildren roaming the streets of Stormwind. I didn't really go out of my way to find any quests, and Thottbot's usefulness has declined in recent months, so I didn't bother looking it up either. I still have a snowball left over from Christmas, though :D



Unfit for Print


Hey qweermo

would you please tell virion aka assclown joe qweermo is my word for you and if he uses it again ill make him pay oh god how he will pay. why are you so down on the whole port thing I love the idea of playing a classic game on gba the only game ive been able to play to conclussion in the last year was shinning force rodd it was just awesome ffv1 would be so goddamn fun im starting to think you are a fun nazi who **snip- very no** ...while there at it I would also like all the super nintendo rpg that didn't suck balls ported or at least cheaper flash cart without emulation resolution issues.

So in closing canada sucks:(

Mookwarrior
aka Mookie
AKa Mookiemoto (japanese mookie)
AkaMookchey (french Mookie)
AKA The man in black


ANDREW

Hey... I know it's unbelievable that someone found something you said clever enough to repeat it, but them's the breaks, friendly. I am down on the whole port thing because I've sat through so many bad ports in the past few years that I have come to view them as nothing more than a cheap cash grab. Anyhow, slag Canada all you want - its goodness is proven by your failure to live here - but let's keep the Nazi talk to a minimum, shall we? In theory, you might have grandparents who fought them, and since it was the 60th anniversary of VE Day a few days ago, you should really have a little more respect.





C L O S I N G
IN CONCLUSION:

Right, then. Some of you must have seen that abomination... What'd you think? Is gaming as we know it dead, its eviscerated corpse shat upon by MTV in all its evil? Or am I just overreacting to that crapstravaganza? I HUNGER FOR YOUR WORDS... And for you, MookWarrior <3

castomel@rpgamer.com
Andrew Long agrees that the winning team is, in fact, the better team.


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I don't know how many bnet kiddies I've had that exchange with >:(

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