Toothless old man in rocker: Lots of multi-part questions 'round here lately, eh Jeb?
Jeb: Yeep... <takes a moment to spit into a filthy upturned turtle shell>
Toothless: Shure is.
Toothless: Warm lately, too.
Jeb: Yeep. <watches an ant crawl nearby. Stomps on it.>
Toothless: Jeb? You ever think of going into politics?
The previous incomprehensible introduction was brought to you by Pull It Out
Of Your Hat productions. Donations welcome; just not expected.
|I just wanna know one thing: Why not feet?|
Hey mighty Thor person,
I was wondering when is Thousand Arms coming out? In the preview it
says Christmas 1998, but I didn't see it, and I didn't Come to this site before
so I wouldn't know. Is it a typo or something? Also does it have
anything to do with Wild Arms? And why do u have such an obsession over
teri hatcher? I don't get it. I have seen the superman series once and
well....why her? I am a kid so don't give me a smart arse answer or
anything. Which raises another question....nevermind I'll let you go.
Sadly, the preview seems to be outdated. Thousand Arms was delayed until
3rdQ'99, which roughly translates into "sometime after June". And no, for
anyone wondering, it has nothing to do with Wild ARMs. As for Teri --
who knows. I find most everyone pretty unattractive (from trendy
models to local mountain hags), and Teri's one of the few exceptions, so
I bring her up from, ahem, time to time as a pathetic running gag.|
P.S. What do you think about Legend of Mana? Which raises another
question. Is it 2 player or 1 player like that crappy Secret of Evermore?
Which raises another......nevermind
There's no indication that Square developed a sort of mass-corporate insanity
and decided to exclude multitap support, so it'll most likely be multi-player.
And what do I think? I think I love Square for releasing
LoM on my good ol' PlayStation instead of waiting for PS2. Thank
you, Square! C'mere you big lug, gimmy some sugar.|
|Something wicked this way comes|
(Legacy of Kain spoilerz, d000d!)
Thor 'Sexypants' Antrim (who in the hell came up with that?)|
Don't look at me. Not because I didn't come up with the name, I just have
something stuck in my teeth and it's embarrassing.|
THOR! Please! I beg you! Tell me a game where not ONE person, main
characters especially, falls in love with one of the team members.
Since I can't remember every useless bit of fluff concerning NPCs, I can only tell
you which games don't have main characters falling in wove:
Final Fantasy 1. Nothing romantic happened in that little bugger, God bless it.
Also, Secret of Mana, Shadowrun, Suikoden... er, unless you count Gremio's
rather disturbing relationship with the hero.|
Is there a game where evil wins out in the end? Where all the good guys
perish and die not accomplishing their goody-goody goals?
Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain, if you pick the "evil" ending. And, um. Street Fighter 2: Championship
Edition if M. Bison wins. There, two. More than enough!
Is there a game where YOU get to play it from the bad guys point of veiw?
Where you get to accomplish stealing the princess, (lame) or blowing up
the world, or taking over and eradicating all signs of intelligent life? I
mean Magus was definatly evil, but the whole time he was trying to
accomplish his own little good intentions in the end. Killing Lavos and
saving the world with a bunch of punk kids. Boo, hiss. |
Again, Legacy of Kain. Kain isn't evil, nor is he good -- up until the
very end of the game. Before that, you just sort of wander around, killing
humans for food and doing whatever it takes to extract your revenge on,
well, basically everyone.|
Sexypants. Hmmmm, for you? True. Drew is cute in his own sort of way. I
spose as the comments of an RPGirl, you two rank REAL high! ^_~ But I
wouldn't be caught dead dating you guys! You guys ain't quite Billy enough
for me.... why in the world am I telling you this?
- Cloudy Squall
Hey, check it out! Someone honestly called me "sexypants". Well, I'll be damned.
Granted, their name is "Cloudy Squall", but I'm pretty sure it's a girl -- though the
"RPGirl" sentence was slightly confoozilating. Anyway, Cloudy is telling me this because
I'm wearing my new Oil of Truth fragrance. My readers can keep no secrets
from me while I wear this! Kyaa haa, ha!!!|
|The biggest scandal since Wild ARMs & The Good/Bad/Ugly|
I feel betrayed! Kouhei Tanaka, the composer for both Alundra and The
Granstream Saga has betrayed everyone who enjoys music in their RPGs above
all else. He took the funeral dirge from Alundra and put it in Legend of
Legaia! It's the exact same music! He didn't even bother to change the
instruments! And what's worse is that the music is the theme for a wily
female thief! She's not nice and in no way does she deserve that song!
That song is the second most beautiful song in Alundra, (second only to
the music form the interior of the lake shrine), and the only music from
an RPG that was able to bring tears to my eyes! (Oh come on, don't even
try to tell me that you didn't cry when Sybil and Jess were murdered by
Ronan!) Anyway, I just felt like telling you this because I remember you
saying how much you liked Alundra's soundtrack. Thank you for your time
- Evil Lover Extrordinaire
That's really... weird. I've never heard of a composer porting a song
from one game to another. Remixes in sequels, sure -- but self-plagiarism
is another thing entirely. Anyone out there who owns Alundra and GS want to
verify this? If ELE turns out to be wrong, I'll have to retract his claim
of shenanigans... and we don't want that, now do we?|
I can't believe you didn't cry during the whole 'Celes' bit in FF3! You
- Gau Helldragon
In my life, I have met few people cruel and insensitive as Gau. As most everyone
knows, I was born without tear ducts. It's been a hard life, I have to apply
Clear Eyes every five to ten minutes, but I've learned to accept, and even
forget my problem. And then someone like Gau rubs it in my face. So, fine,
I didn't cry at the opera scene. I couldn't. What do you want, blood?
That'd better be it, because mister, you sure aren't getting any tears.
By the way, did you know they removed the word "gullible" from the dictionary?
S'true, see for yourself.
|"Dyyyyyam!" -- Barret, Final Fantasy 7: The Lost Years.|
Two answers to Drew's thoughtlets:
Q: How come gears can fight under water, but can't travel on water?
A: They're too heavy. A rock can go under water too but it cant travel
on water can it? Well if you skip it but those are specifically shaped.
Q: Why is it that magic keeps becoming more difficult to obtain in the
Final Fantasy series? Does Square have something against sorcerors?
A: You're seriously telling me Magic was difficult to obtain in Final
Hey, you're pretty good at this. Want my job? I'll trade ya for a beef sandwhich.|
|Questions? What're those?|
Hey, Thor baby,
Where on earth does the "X" in "PSX" come from? PS is obviously short
for PlayStation, but the "X"? is it just an arbitrary thing, or is there a
real and deeper meaning behind the letter?
The explanation is long and boring. And since I've covered this before,
I won't go into it. Lets just say it was the PlayStation's tentative name during
development. Sony decided to switch to just PlayStation, but the acronym
stuck. If you want more info, like, check the archives.|
Also, some sites have posted the name of Sony's new console as PSX2,
with the "2" superscripted so that it is read as "PSX Square". If this is true,
then wouldn't be a little unsettling in the way it seems to allude to a
political affiliation between Sony and Squaresoft? Granted, Square does
provide a great deal of demand for the Playstation (I have a lot of
friends who bought their PSXes solely because they heard -- or saw -- what
a cool game FF7 was), but wouldn't it be a little unfair to other
developers (if there indeed are any... the only games I have ever played
on a PSX are Square RPGs)? |
Chill, you're reading into things. Heh heh, I bet you could come up with
some wild theories on Final Fantasy 7's ending. :D|
Lastly, I am greatly anticipating FF8 for the PC... maybe "hoping" is a
better word. I've just finished playing FF7PC again, and I certainly hope
Square releases FF8 for the PC... and does not let the Lara Croft people
do the porting.
Luv ya (column) always, sexypants,
- Melissa Pearce
Fun fact: As far as I know, Square handled the actual conversion, Eidos
just did the marketing. So chances are FF8pc will be just as buggy as
Hey sexypants, (man I hate having to call you that)|
Dude, call me anything you like -- except "RPGuru".|
Being an audiophile, I want to hear that music off Final Fantasy
Seven, and since it's all in XA format I can't play it! Where can I
get a player that will play those files? One more thing: not all males
from the south are sleeping with everything that walks on five legs (read:
Drew). Some of us like women. |
There are dozens of players out there, but I suggest trying ModPlug.
You can either use Mod Plug as a plugin for your web browser, or as a stand-alone
program which allows you to download "mods" (a generic term tracked music) and
play 'em at your leisure. (Drew's from the south...?)
Oh, and how the crap do you say "Cthulhu"? Knowing how to actually say it
is better than just spitting whenever I come across it.
If you asked the guys at Chaosium, Inc., the makers of the Call of
Cthulhu roleplaying game, they'd tell you "kuh-THOO-loo".
If you asked an outspoken group of Lovecraftian scholars, they'd
tell you "Cloo-loo". But after some quick research, I've tracked
down a quote from The Man himself, H.P. Lovecraft:
The actual sound -- as nearly as human organs could imitate it or human letters record it -- may be taken as
something like Khlžl'-hloo, with the first syllable pronounced gutturally and very thickly. The u is about like that in
full; and the first syllable is not unlike klul in sound, since the h represents the guttural thickness. The second
syllable is not very well rendered -- the l sound being unrepresented. (to Duane Rimel, 23 July 1934)
However! Lovecraft later contradicted himself, saying "the best approximation
one can make is to grunt, bark, or cough the imperfectly-formed syllables
Cluh-Luh with the tip of the tongue firmly affixed to the roof of the mouth".
So to answer your question, I have no krunking idea, and neither does anyone
else. It seems ol' Lovecraft was having a bit of fun with the pronounciation
of everyone's favorite Elder God. Well, either that, or he was a bit dilusional
-- and judging from some of his works, I'd say that's the surest answer anyone
|Wondering what that dream meant?|
(Go on, tell me everything -- just leave out the naughty bits involving Jewel)
(House guests really sap up the ol' gaming time, ya know?)
|Like Old Crap? |
|Try the Archives|
(Beware the Typoes)
|Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?|
|The Hack Archive|
(Edit me. It's fun.)
|Quote of the Update:|
|"It's kind of like expecting King Arthur to beat up an M-1 Abrams." |
- Brian on why robots shouldn't be battled with mere Gunblades
|Bite sized Quickies|
Any plans for updating the Hack archive?
- The Flaming Mog
Yeah. I plan on updating it as soon as I have a couple of free hours, which
should be before March 6th, 2043. So, stay tuned until then!
I did the Dew. Nothing Happened. Did I do it wrong?
Yeah. You made quite a typo. It'll take poor Drew years to recover from
Dig it: I was right about the Stray/Cait Sith thang. In FF6j, Stray
was called Cait Sith. Useless info: Cait Sith comes from an Irish legend,
and is is pronounced something like "kett shih" or "keet shee" or something
like that, depending on which drunken, abusive leprechaun you ask.
Ya learn something new every day, don't ya?
- Thor "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" Antrim
Blarg: Soon making an appearance in a videogame near you. Look for it, babycakes.