Due to a late Sunday update (not Drew's fault, we all suffer from the
evils of Technical Difficulty now and then) I didn't get that much
mail to work with, so prepare for a tiny Ask Thor... which should
probably be somewhat of a relief after the 25k+ columns I was
pumping out last week. So sit back, moisten your socks with
lemon juice, and enjoy an Ask Thor so small it doesn't even have any
Maybe somebody has said this before, but doesn't the esper Stray in
FF3(6j) look a lot like Cait Sith in FF7?
(If you don't know which FF's they're in, then there's no hope for you.)
- Matt A.
As far as I know -- I didn't just skimp out on this, I looked for
35 friggin minutes -- Cait Sith and Stray were based loosely on
the same celtic legend. I think that Cait Sith and Stray's
Japanese counterparts shared (more or less) the same name,
but going by the law of Thor Knows Jack, I'm probably wrong.|
|"The game's named Final Fantasy Eigh--" 'SPOILER!!!!'|
(Xenogears spoiler! Kidding.)
Okay, I was on #rpgamer and mentioned the fact that I personally think
Billy is 3 million times cooler than Citan. I said so with the fact that
Billy carries around 5 guns, and Citan does not. I was instantly bombarded
by one of the people on the channel saying that I had spoiled some of the
game by mentioning the fact that Billy uses 5 guns. Did I actually spoil
something? Or is he just being over-cautious to another on the channel who
had not beaten the game? I mean, the fact that Billy carries 5 guns is
about as relative to the game as the fact that Fei has 2 eyes. It changes
nothing. Who's right here?
You are. I mean, I can understand if the only way to use said guns was
via a long and carefully hidden subquest, filled with storyline and
major plot events, and the very fact that Billy uses guns somehow gives
away the fact that he will assasinate the purple Teletubby at the end
of Xenogears.... but no, none of that applies, so it's not a spoiler.
Spoiling is kind of like sex. No, really, hear me out. People think
anything more than they would be willing to do is kinky, right? Same
thing with spoilers -- any scrap of information which is even slightly
less obscure and useless than they'd like, and you're suddenly an
evil spoiling maniac in their eyes. But their definition of a "spoiler"
is rarely yours, mine, or anyone else's, so either you never mention
any games or risk pissing someone off.
Just try to keep your cool, and don't get in a big debate with the guy.
And if things get out of hand in any IRC channel, you can always ask an
op to help out.
In our version of FF1, the tombstone in the town in Elfland reads "Here
lies Erdrick, 837-866", but in the Japanese version, it says "Here sleeps
Link". In Japan, Square decided to pretend FF was better than Zelda, not
DQ like over here. Just pointing that out.
A good decision, considering Nintendo published Final Fantasy, heh heh.|
|Name that quote!|
that was from Suikoden, when you(the main character) talk to general
Milich Oppenheimer after having him join your rebel army in the castle. He
says that when you talk to him in the narcissists' chamber..
Yes, yes sir. You are correct. Dig my Ed McMahon impersonation? No? Well,
at least you're honest. For your honesty, you'll receive this heaping
bag of dung instead of the earlier prize of limitless power, wealth
and pleasure. Enjoy!|
|"Under the sheets it's all good!" - Actual Jerry Springer guest|
In response to that guy yesterday who wanted sheet music for Final
Fantasy, well, here are a few sites:
Final Fantasy Square - http://bigsun.wbs.net/homepages/c/h/i/chiba1/
Game Music Network - http://vgma.simplenet.com/
RPGStuff - http://www.rpgstuff.cx/
Well, that's all I can remember at the moment... FYI, you can find some
very good information on sheet music and stuff in the Game Music Network
Forum (or message board or whatever you call those things...)... Hope this
helps that poor sod who can't find any sheet music =)
Thanks for the URLs. Now if only someone could find me a !@#$ guide to the
origins of Final Fantasy 7's names... Grumble.|
|The sexiest man alive. After me, of course.|
Hey, Thor, you generous guy you,
How'd you know what a great thing it would be to include studly Bruce
Campbell in the end of your own personal Thor Celebrity Death thingie? You
and the other ravenous males got to dream of teri hatcher, and you were
kind enough to leave Bruce Campbell for us females to drool over. You, my
friend, are a great humanitarian. . . ^_^
- Ashley (a little dazed after watching Evil Dead 2 for the fiftieth time this week)
No problem. It's always my pleasure to discuss the Bruce-meister. Though,
I suspect, not as much pleasure as you get from watching him. It's just
not fair, ya know? Women get to oogle cool action heroes. What do guys
get? Tank Girl? No thanks. She may be able to kick butt, but she's about
as attractive as Courtney Love.
Oh, wait, there's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But c'mon, she doesn't kick
1/10th the arse Bruce does. :D
In reference to friday's quickies, Xenogears ending was altered by half an
inch, for three seconds. The Japanese version shows more of a curve, but
Wow. I guess even Elder Gods can be wrong, sometimes. Now I went and printed
a correction for no reason, thus forcing me to print a new correction.
And with my luck, this guy'll be wrong, forcing me to print another
correction tomorrow. It's times like these that I wish I could just phone
Square and say, "Yo, are we missing out in the nipple department over
here?", to which they'd reply... well, I don't actually know how they'd reply.
But I'm sure it'd be at least a little enlightening.
|More Xenogears! |
In reference to the letter sent in by 'Whitney "The Reverend Doctor" Cox',
there actually is a connection between Xenogears and Neon Genesis
Evangelion. If you visit Squaresoft's homepage, and then visit the
Xenogears section, it says that some of the animators who worked on
Xenogears were also animators for Evangelion. Here's the actual web site:
Ah, so there is a connection, just not a very strong one. I mean,
the it's not like the Xenogears characters and the Evangelon characters
were designed by the same group, just animated. So I guess all
this time people were sensing their... brush techniques. Or something.
Hey guys, for a laugh, click the "CHARACTERS" link and get a load of
what Xenogears' official page calls "Gears"...
Complete change of topic...have you ever played Silent Hill? It's not
technically an RPG, but if they were to make an RPG as scary as
that...whooo...I'm getting shivers. What do you think?
I think there's nothing to worry about -- that's a common reaction for girls
when they're near the Mighty Thor. (Heh heh, I'm evil.)|| ||
|From the south? Male? Think Drew has "purdy lips"?|
(... for Drew's phone number!)
(I have to sleep sometime.)
|Like Old Crap? |
|Try the Archives|
(Beware the Typoes)
|Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?|
|The Hack Archive|
(Edit me. It's fun.)
|Quote of the Update:|
|"God only created a few perfect stomachs. He put a stupid looking hole in the rest of them." |
- Just Some Guy
This raises an interesting question:
What's worse, a lackluster column or none at all?
Which raises yet another question:
Can anyone really tell the difference between a rushed column and one I spend five hours on, aside from length?
Which raises another question:
If not, why do I even bother?
Which raises another question:
Getting sick of this yet?
Which raises another... ahh, forget it.
Hey, Drew was badmouthin' me! Why I outta... that "2d polygons" bit was a joke.
Sheesh -- maybe I should just stop being funny. It'd certainly cause a lot
less confusion around here. Ribbit.
- Thor "Rush!" Antrim
Drew said "Crabb*t"? What a whore.