Dear Thor,

I write to you in protest because of the above line. We divulged to you the existance of our subterranean half-sheep, half-man race because we trusted you to never reveal us to the general public. We even allowed you to partake in our weekly activities of running naked through the streets and scaring innocent children. However, you have exposed us, and even given them our species names of "Aericans." We shall now have to enact our species form of revenge by making you watch 24-hours of "The Brady Bunch" with no commercial breaks. Mwa-hahahahahaha..... BAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Okay, I know you're not finished with Xenogears yet. I can understand that; more than that, I can *respect* that. However, put aside any silly fears of spoilers and please answer my 'Gears question! Pretty please?

What is the Xenogears-Shin Seiki Evangelion (Neon Genesis Evangelion) connection? Were they made by the same people? Do they have the same scriptwriters? Are the animators the same for both the game and the anime series? Are the guys that wrote the script just die-hard Eva fans? Tell me! From the moment I saw the playable demo, I was muttering to myself, "You know, this reminds me of Evangelion...." As the game progressed, things got more and more eerie to the point where I am almost (but not quite) certain that one of Fei's past lives included Ikari Shinji-kun. And Asuka? Elly, all over. Well, she's Elly on crack, but that's a whole 'nother story.....

This has been bugging me, Thor, and I know you're the only one powerful enough to put my questions to rest. I have evidence! I swear! The problem is giving it without spoiling anything (I've finished the game, neiner-neiner-neiner). But seriously, Thor, if you can make any sort of connection between the series and the game, I would much appreciate it.

ANYWAYS,

Your ranting on RPG reviews are valid, but another thing that's true is most RPGs that are released are actually worth the high marks they receive... during the first play-through. It's when you've finished a game and its appeal wanes that its flaws become more obvious, and the review it originally gained will most likely drop in score. I really enjoyed both SNES Breath of Fire games, but once they were over, I hardly returned to them.

Few RPGs earn a really low score during the first play-through, but what does badly stands out. Two prime examples: Quest 64 and an obscure NES coaster known as Legend of the Ghost Lion. Even during the initial try (being anything but an idiot I always rent a game before I buy it), Quest was unable to hold my interest for more than an hour. Ghost Lion was Kemco's badly-constructed answer to Dragon Warrior, and I guess it's quite a rare title because it isn't even acknowledged at RPGamer. IMHO it warrants recognition as being the single most boooooooooring NES RPG ever... in fact, no RPG I've seen on any system moves any slower than Ghost Lion. Even Quest 64 is a rocket in comparison.

One last thing: I'm not asking in any way for you to print this letter, nor am I expecting you to. I'm just donating an opinion.

Before I go, I must thank you for writng an excellent column everyday. I haven't found one column that didn't leave me in stitches.

BW: Well, we're back, and it's time for our combatants to finish their battle.
JG: Thor looks ready, and he charges Lorelai.
BW: Ouch, he tripped on that big hammer and fell flat on his face. It looks like Lorelai is wasting no time taking advantage of this.
JG: She's got a handfull of prismcolor pencils, and their sharpened to deadly points.
BW: She's tossing them at Thor like darts, and they're sticking alright, he looks like a human pincushion.
JG: But he's not down yet, he brushes off the pencils, and... what is he doing?
BW: I really don't have any ide- whoah! There's a large column of fire coming from Thor. It looks like Thor keeps those all those lamer flames in case of emergency. They certainly do add up, look at that blaze!
JG: This certainly is an emergency, but I think Thor needs to work on his aim a little bit, he completely missed Lorelai and hit Fritz Frandorf, sitting in the audience.
BW: Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's used to all the flames he's gotten since he shut down Cosmo Canyon. I'm gonna miss that place. But Fritz has moved on to a better place, alas poor Fritz, I knew him well.
JG: Hey Bubba, snap out of it, this is RPGamer, not Fritzapalooza, we've got a fight to cover!
BW: Oh yeah, sorry. Back to the fight. Thor has picked Lorelai up over his head and thrown her out of the ring.
JG: She's landed right next to Nick Diamond, he's managed to get out of the locker, and boy does he look mad.
BW: Uh... I think I'll announce the rest of the match from under the desk. Oh wow, I can see under this thing. Lorelai seems to be whispering something to Nick. Thor looks confused, he's scratching his larger head.
Thor: Hey, what's with you and this 'Larger head' thing? I mean, once is acceptable, but now you're just being unreasonable.
JG: Ooh. While Thor was conversing with Bubbawheat here, Lorelai and Nick Diamond picked up that mighty hammer together and have used it in the patented cranium smash.
BW: Apparantly, Lorelai told Nick that it was Thor that shoved him into the locker. That's using her larger head.
JG: What is it with you and that larger head thing anyway?
BW: I dunno, running gag? Well, it looks like Lorelai has won the match. It's been fun, good fight, good night.
JG: Hey, that's my line. I've had enough outta you. Hey Nick! He's the one that really put you in the locker, let's get him!
BW: Oh no, I'm outta here. I still have time for the ever present gratuitous plug though. Visit my site at http://members.xoom.com/Bubbawheat where you can find more Deathmatches, as well as serious fanfics. This is Bubbawheat, running away!