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UfP is back!
 
 

Ich habe deciced, um diese Einleitung auf unterbrochenes Deutsch zu schreiben, weil es scheint, da allen IGN sites Babblefish krzlich, also mich darstellte, warum nicht verwenden?

Bezeichnet gutes mit Buchstaben. Haben Sie Spa. Bye.

 
Gameplay Vs Filler?
Yesterday Moogle Propaganda mentioned that with each FF game, there's less gameplay and more FMV. But as I recall, it took me the same amount of time to beat FF6 as it did to beat the first disc of FF7. Hmm.. and also half the time to beat FF6 was spent to beat FF4, approximately. Lastly, it took me even longer to beat FFT than FF7.

-- Lacan

Gameplay doesn't equal time spent on the game. The half an hour "Lifestream" sequence in Final Fantasy 7 certainly took a while, you weren't doing anything more than hitting "X". Or, if you had already played Final Fantasy 7, setting the control on AutoFire and grabbing a sandwhich. (As for Final Fantasy Tactics... well, that took everyone I know a good while to beat. Mostly due to hard battles and hours wasted trying to decode the translation.)
 
What do you mean this isn't RPG related? FF6 was Steampunk. Kinda.
What exactly is steampunk? I never heard the term..

- Jason

Steampunk is a type of story usually set in a world where electricity was either never invented, or just really didn't catch on. Maybe in that world, no one was stupid enough to fly a kite in a thunderstorm. Who knows.

The setting is usually Victorian, though this isn't a rule. Imagine giant steam powered war machines, analog computers and gloom. Lots and lots of gloom. The most famous Steampunk book is The Difference Engine, written by Cyberpunk godfather William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. I can't think of one damn thing to say to add a sense of closure to this question. Moving on. <grin>

 
A.... plethora of questions. (Oh, how I hate that word.)
Hello, God of Thunder and Chunder,

Now, not to sound rude, but how did you get your position at RPGamer? I mean, I love to read your Q&A column, but I want a break into the gaming industry somehow. But, since I don't live in Cali, I don't know of any sites based around Ohio, state of mass boredom. So, any suggestions, as it's something that I'd like to do.

Yeah. Do something productive but enjoyable. That way, you won't get bored with the project, like 99% of webmasters do, and after a few months you'll probably have quite a following. I started with, believe it or not, the homepage to an IRC channel. I added an editorial/column/thingy, which grew in popularity, and before you know it we were scoring 300+ hits a day. I'm not bragging, because compared to RPGamer that's pathetic, but it goes to show that with a little hard work you can build a lovely fanbase -- and get noticed someday.
I recently read that Final Fantasy V was a legal ROM for emulators? Is that true, as this was the only borderline ROM I had on computer. I don't want to go to jail! I'm too feminine (long hair, oval face) looking and I'd be bought by some big guy for a carton of cigarettes...so, this is kinda important.
There's really no chance of jailtime. Last time I checked, even with the new anti-piracy laws, you're only in serious trouble if you distribute. Taping most sports games is illegal, but when's the last time someone you knew was bagged by the feds 'cause he missed the Packers game and wanted to know if he should shout "Go Packers!" or cry himself to a beery sleep?
Well, on the final note, you didn't by chance use "Wrath" on wcw/nWo:Revenge, did you? I don't have a GameShark and I want to know if it's worth the money to get one extra wrestler. Well, that's about all I can think of, so I won't clog your mailbox further.

- Terry Rader, scared of being some big guy's "bitch"

Hey, aren't we all. And no, it's not worth it -- just for Wrath. I haven't even seen Wrath do much since Nash ruined his winning streak. But if you still want a GameShark, by all means...
 
Mr. Stock. Get it? Like, Mr. Spock! Or even Mr. Socko! Haha! Kill me.
I think the man was refering to the Very bad aliasing noise in the sample for Celes's voice. Have you ever tried listening to the song on a high quality system (as in not on a TV?) because if you have you will notice some very interesting sounds on the loop that I'm sure was some sort of idiosycracy of the SPC sound chip. If you don't hear it and want to enhance the noise to where it's really really noticable, just record it onto your computer and feed the wave file into an MP3 encoder. That's the stuff. I'd send the MP3, but it's about 1.2 Mb, so I doubt you want that in your inbox. :)
Interesting. I'm going to take a stab at it and guess no, then. Square's probably too busy to correct a problem which can't be detected on a standard TV. All that time they spend pretending there's a bad connection on the phone everytime someone asks them to translate the collection, an' all
 
!@#$
Hey, why is it that some people complain about having "@&%#/&#%" type swearing in a game, instead of writing out clearly the powerful curses?

I see it in another way. I'm not against having strong language in any way (I come from a vulgar country), but I would hate to see Cid, for example, just ranting out four-letter words all the time. Why? It's all about how you view things.

Whenever Cid says, "@/&/&%#"!!!!", I prefer not to think of it as "This is censored by the Moral Guardians", but as "This here is something so vile that you could not possibly even try to imagine it. Trust us." I think it's a lot more powerful in the end, seeing lots of "&@/&%%"/&!" as opposed to lots of f-words.

So do you agree with this?

Hehe, no. Funny argument, though. Lets see, something so vile even I could not possibly try to imagine it... oh God, Cid was shouting "Richard Simmons!" all that time? I never knew.
 
Stalk Talk
Thor:

I know nothing about the Nekei (sp?) Index in Japan, but since the EA/Square merger, you can easily track Square's US fortunes by monitoring EA's stock symbol: ERTS. If you monitor stocks through MSN.COM's customer home page, set up the stock symbol, and click on it, press releases from EA are posted...and when recent Square titles were given US releases, Square's news releases were posted to EA's stock symbol.

I'm sure there's a more direct way to track Squares Nekei symbol, but I'm not aware of it.

- CraigInMN...2!

Anson has the answer!
Deep in the bowels of RPGamer, there's an interview with Horomichi Tanaka (http://www.rpgamer.com/people/tanak/interv/tanaka.html), the Executive Director of Square Co, Ltd. About halfway through the interview, he notes that Square USA is wholly owned by Square, but that Square Co, Ltd _is_ a public offering. So, you can't buy stock in Square USA, but can buy stock in the Japanese parent company... at least as of the interview, nearly two years ago.

I tried looking for Square USA, in the off-chance that it had gone public since then, but much like Arakin and yourself, couldn't find anything.

As for the Japanese company (Square Co, Ltd), I eventually (very eventually) worked my way to Yahoo! Japan, and managed to find information at: http://quote.yahoo.co.jp/q?s=9620&d=t

So, the stock now sells for about 3000 Yen (not quite $25) a share.

- Anson (The guy who's still waiting for Q*Bert 64)

Groovy. And hey, again, aren't we all?
 
"Does this hurt?"
I just wanted to comment on the new design. I really don't have anything against it, except for the Quickies. They make my eyes turn flips and confuse my brain. It makes my head hurt, Thor! They're confusing a lot. I like the old-style better. It was just more...Thor-ish. If you revert, I'll throw in a box of underwear only worn *once* by Mrs. Hatcher. If you want to know where they came from...Dangit, I have to get'em outta my house some bloody how...Aw, come on, just for a day even! Revert!!
And just when I finally got used to the redesign, too. I've actually received several complaints about the Quickies. The only problem I can see is questions and answers are placed next to each other, instead of one above the other. Time for a little poll, I guess: Do you like the old style "//" Quickies, or the new "mini letter" format? Discuss.
 
Gaaah!
I made a rather interesting discovery recently while messing around with an .xa file player. On disk two of Final Fantasy VII, there are 5 html files in the 'movies' folder. Each is 3 bytes in size, and creates a blank page with a blank source. There are no such files on disk one or three. Anyone have any ideas as to what they might be for?
Since the filenames are "GdummyX.htm", I'm going to take a wild guess and say they were placed there for some sort of obscure programming reason. Hey, when deadlines are looming and you can't get anything to work, sometimes you get real inventive.
P.S. I finished FF2j last night, thereby finishing the entire FF series. Just thought I'd share my joy with the RPGamer community!

- Sean "SSS" Daugherty

Bravo! Er, wait. What about Final Fantasy VIII?
 
Unfit for Print
In this corner, incomprehensible reader #1:
I got to thinkin' if any male reader out ther can say that they made it to the age of 15 without ever seeing, or wishing to see porn, then their a damn liar. [What about the Hanson brothers? -- Thor] And Idont think of smuttiness as any more offensive than the cold hearted violence seen everyday on tv, cause when you see pornos whos the victim? NOBODY THATS WHO, YOU WHINY SELF RIGHTEOUS HOMO PHOBIC OVER RELIGIOUS TYPES!!!!!!!!!! OOH IM A GOD FEARING CHRISTIAN IM BETTER THAN YOU, TINKY WINKY IS GAY AND EVIL, ROCK MUSIC IS EVIL, GAYS ARE EVIL, ANYONE WHO DOESNT SEND ME MONEY IS EVIL !!!!!! GET OFF IT YOU OVER PROTECTIVES!!!!!!!

- EdGE morpheus, the 9 bladed knife

And in this corner, incomprehensible reader #2:
MAY I ASK WHAT THE $%^$@$!#@$^&^& ARE YOU DOING POSTING PORN SITES?????? ???????? IT SAYS RPGAMER NOT PORNGAMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK ITS ALLREADY ALL OVER THE NOW YOU HAVE ADVERTISE IT EVEN MORE!!!!???? WHY THE *&^^%^%#$&U^*() CANT YOU FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH THE SITE!!! LIKE TELL MORE ABOUT RPGS!!!!!

PS:IT WILL BE A SAD DAY FOR YOU SICK PEOPLE IF I EVER BECOME EXPERT HACKER

Yeah, baby. I ph34r.

The moral of todays UfP is to never become outraged at the opposition in a debate, because the twits are equally divided among both sides -- believe it or not, these two are the only letters I received which argued for/against the Zelda.com link. Oh, and capslock=bad. But I think we covered that one before, heh heh.

 
Wondering where babies come from?
Ask Thor
(Give him a mint cookie and your chances of being printed are raised 7.25%)
 
Now Playing
Xenogears
(I saw it -- "MAD SKILLZ" -- right with my own eyes. I thought it was hilarious, but you have to admit... that was as out of place as a Clinton joke.)
 
Like Old Crap?
Try the Archives
(Beware the Typoes)
 
Bored? Easily amused? Stoned?
The Hack Archive
Thor Antrim: Anime Style
(Edit me. It's fun.)
 
Quickies that satisfy
March 10th's my birthday. I wanna hear a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY! from you, the great Thor. NOW. Sure thing! Happy birthday, demanding person who forgot to include his/her name so I could wish him or her a happy birthday... :D
i went to a catholic school. trust me. those girls aren't repressed...
- Scud
Yeow, heh heh.
Schivoni = Schiavone. Kavorkian = Kevorkian. Ha!
- Loki
Oh come on, names are really hard to remember and set off a spellchecker even when spelled right! Cut me some slack, jack. Ahh well, nice hearing from you again, bro.
Dreamcast or PSX2?
- Ami Q3
SNES.
Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?
- Spikey
Yeah. I even have proof!
 
Thor Stuff

Thanks to everyone who offered to proofread the column. The offer was made in jest, I fear. It'd be too much a task to arrange, since I update anywhere from 6:00am to 12:00pm, California time.

I'm finally starting to have a lot of fun with Xenogears. The battles are hard -- as hard as I'd like! -- and the plot is starting to finally unfold. I only wish I didn't know so many bits and pieces of the story. Spoilers are evil.

Look for a delicious rant tomorrow, my first in a few weeks. (Counting my vacation, of course.) Since everyone agreed with me last time, I hope to do my best to get everyone to disagree with me tomorrow.

- Thor "Not So Repressed Catholic Schoolgirl" Antrim
/topic this.

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