Andrew - November 24 '02- 2:00 Central Standard Time
Contest details at the end of the column, in the meantime, let's all bask in the nervous glory that is Sunday with a batch of non-so-fresh letters.
Love Story 1.
Okay you wanted a "love" story that happened because of an RPG. Well I've got one if you're willing to stretch your thinking of an RPG to include a game called Perfect Dark for the N64. You can become a higher ranked agent and earn medals, titles and such. Just say it's RPGish in nature but damn sure not a full blown RPG. Anyway...
So my friend and I had been playing Perfect Dark for about a week and it was getting boring... so we decided to invite some girls we knew over to play as our handicaps. They came over of course and we played Pop-A-Cap teams with my lady and I versus them. Robin was actually good at it! I was shocked! Robin was beating the crap out of Val every time! The best part however was when she killed my friend. He got pissed and I thought he was gonna go ape shit on us. Anyway a few weeks later Robin and I went on a date and we've been together every since. Therefore Perfect Dark, a shooter that could be considered slightly RPGish in nature, got us together and allowed me to tell her that games (RPG's specificly) were a very big part of my life. She doesn't like RPGs all that much except Mario RPG. She buys me games and lets me play them as much as I want as long as I spend an equal amount of time with her. She's attractive, I'll send a pic to prove it and she's buying me Kingdom Hearts for Christmas. My life is very damn good because of her and I love her deeply.
There have been times...(SNIPED FOR REASONS OF SPITE) ...for so long.
Anyway that's a story but I'll ask some questions also.
Is there any reason for me to complete Breath of Fire 3? I got it about 2 months ago but I can't really get into it.
Is T Ogre for the GBA any different from the original? I had a good time playing the original but I don't wanna play it again for $44.
If I have to work on Thanksgiving don't you think I should get time and half??
Thank you very much if you post this, if you don't no biggy... DAMN YOU!
So you've got a girl who's rich, generous, and kicks ass at video games. Congrats, you've found what most gamer guys spend forever looking for. My personal story of love involved a boring evening, the mention of Super Mario World, and quite possibly the quickest play through of said game ever with my kick-ass girlfriend, who slaughtered through it even faster then I could. It's been love ever since. Well, love and video games.
1. There's no GOOD reason to beat BoF3, expect for the whole orgy scene about an hour before the game ends. Momo is one flexible chick.
2. Completely different games, and Tactics Ogre for GBA is certainly worth it.
3. No, you should ditch. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks that the Indians haven't risen up and blown up our capitol for all the crap we put them through. So I guess it makes sense that we gorge ourselves. Stupid pilgrims.
4. Yeah, I get that a lot.
Best. Readers. EVA.
To translate ff8fan2002's letter:
in ff8 what are you sapouse to do with chocobo world when it comes
up how do i access it and cheack it out
because i noticed the you have to go there to get a sertain gf thanx
for your time nick pierce (a.k.a ff8fan2002)
"In Final Fantasy VIII what are you supposed to do to access Chocobo
World? I want to know because I noticed that you are supposed to go
there to get a certain GF somewhere. Thanks for your time, Nick Pierce
To answer his question, playing Chocobo World requires a special type
of handheld gaming system that fits into the Playstation memory card
slot called a Pocketstation. The Pocketstation is only available in
Japan, so unless you go there to buy one you are out of luck if you are
talking about the Playstation version. I believe that the Windoze
version lets you play Chocobo World on your PC. Isn't that right,
-Mr. Noe Itall
Thank you, Mr. Noe. It's readers like you that make this job worthwhile. As for the window's version letting you play, I have no idea. FF8 was painful enough the first time through, without having to hose more money on Square for another time around. I really wish they had brought the Pocketstation over though. A memory card that also doubles as a mini-game player? Why didn't anyone else think of that! Oh wait...I forget about the horribly failed memory cards for Dreamcast.
Poorly thought out letter.
Hello, Sir Andrew, oh Crimson Prince of Crankiness,
First, what is the name of an RPG this column mentioned a long time ago that
had good gameplay and graphics and plot but was too cutesy for its own good?
Second, what should be done to make MMORPGs much better and more
groundbreaking than stay mindless dungeon crawls with only monster killing as
the only activity to play the game in the first place?
Third, what should RPGs do in general to be better than they are now?
Fourth, I want your input on my opinion to the last question. For RPGs to be
better, they need the following...
a solid plot with sub-plots you would not expect see align with it, like a
teenage warrior seeking a lost power for the first half, then the warrior's
girlfriend seek out that first warrior for the second half because she is
pregnant; then her little brother search for those two in another world
because the first world was destroyed by that second world for the third
half...(obviously you can come up with better ideas/examples than this)
characters with diverse backgrounds, magic, weapons, and personal minigames,
like a much better version of Chrono Cross, only without that crappy system;
settings that radically differ from one another continentally and
dimensionally, like an anartic continent for one setting, a space station for
another setting, an MMORPG for an even other setting, you get the idea;
a battle system that uses KH's real time system with Grandia's command
system and FFX's power-up system to unleash special attacks;
graphics with real-time 3d system(FFX) combined with cel-shaded characters
(BoF5) and hand-drawn backgrounds (Vagrant Story) to give a unique feel to
AND extra side-quests that alter not only the game's ending and status of
characters, but are also a game in itself that can be played after winning
the game itself and accessing secret areas, secret endings, secret cutscenes,
and totally different views to play the game such as through the bad guy
instead of the good guy;
so, any input on this or what?
Fifth, what does these 2 quickies mean...
first this one...
But I thought that the last Metroid was in captivity?!
-Mike "Rahlious" White
Google- See, this is the problem when you eradicate the things the franchaise is named after.
And this second one...
Google- Ah, the eternally creepy question.
Finally, what was your first RPG you ever played?
First off, never ever write a letter this long again. You've got that much to ask split it up over two days.
1. Are you insane? No really, this could be any RPG on the market.
2. Right now? I'd settle for them being free. I am not playing $10 bucks a month to raise my fishing skills.
3. They need to be more in depth, without being complicated, ala Star Ocean 2, but with a better translation. I want it to be MY adventure. I don't want to be forced to get characters, or to learn skills I don't want, and play mini-games that suck. (FF9 frog hunting mini-game, anyone?) If developers were less interested in forcing their donkey ideas on us and letting us choose what we wanted to do in RPGs, we'd all be much better off for it.
4. Those are all great ideas, and I would love to see some games take advantage of giving more plot and hell, a longer game to those who took the time to really explore the world. I'm a big fan of opened ended adventures, not games that shunt me along the plot line.
5. The Metroid quickie was a clever hat tip towards Super Metroid's intro, where the last metroid has been captured, which means that there shouldn't be any sequels, since all the metroids are dead. Ha ha.
The second quickie means Age/Sex/Location, and is commonly said in chats when you're trying to get into someone's pants.
6. Zelda 2. Not only did it rock, not only was it the father of such games as C:SOTN, but it was also amazingly hard at the end.
Arrgoant readers suck.
Since most RPGamer Q&A hosts seem to hate Vagrant Story, what's your oponion
on it? I actually bought a copy of it last week, just because your
colleagues dislike it so strongly. And so far, I think it's the best Square
game I've ever seen. Sure, the plot is a complete FFVII ripoff, but
originality never was Square's forte ne. So, have you ever played it? Were
you scared SMURF to see Square actually created a GOOD dungeon crawler?
Or are you just like the others at RPGamer, refusing to see how divine this
First off, use your damn spell checker before you send me letters, and second, yes, I have played Vagrant Story and think, at best, it's a mediocre game. Look Solle, customizing your weapons to the point of insanity isn't everyone's cup of tea, and if you have a problem with that, tough. I'm willing to bet that the majority of the population does NOT see Vagrant Story as Square's best game ever, and certainly would question its divinity.
A list of questions.
Greetings! Here is a list of questions:
1. First thing is first: if [x] is congruent with  in modulo 200,
what would be the equivalence class of x?
2. Wild Arms 3: Buy, rent, or skip?
3. Grandia Xtreme: Buy, rent, or skip?
PS: You know what would be a great idea: Final Fantasy Tactics multiplayer.
Just like online chess, execpt you fight Final Fantasy Tactics style.
1. The equivalence class of x would be 3.27. Did I mention that I'm failing math?
2 & 3- Seeing as how I haven't played Wild Arms 3 yet, and how I would never touch any game with ìXtremeî in the title, I'm going to say rent for both.
PS- Yes, that would be a good idea, so it sucks that you worded it so poorly. How is FFT anything like chess?
Princess Maker 2 is porn! Soft core, and suitable for the whole family porn, but porn all the same!
So, I'm not going to comment on whether or not PM2 is hentai or not.
However, here is a funny big of information about her height, weight,
and bust measurement bars--they're all on the same scale. Height is
in inches, weight is in pounds, and bust is in ... inches. You can
also get a cheat code and buy "buxomizer" pills, which add in chest to
her bust. So when we were regularly playing this game for a good laugh, someone (ok, my boyfriend.) got his princess's bust size up to
89 inches or so... and she only weighed 90 pounds at the time. We
figure that either she carried them around in wheelbarrows and
weighed them independently, or they were filled with helium.
Unfortunately, her picture didn't change to reflect this.
And I suppose this goes right along with inbred princesses trying to
Ah, one of the funnier aspects was abusing the breast enchantment pills, especially because before the pills, your princess would say ìIt's easier to move with small breasts!î and after the pills she would say, ìI love the way I look!î Stupid shallow girl, after I made you take all that schooling too. As for the abuse of the princess's weight vs bust, well, I have nothing to say.