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Paul “Amish” Koehler

I first got a chance to meet Tony when he was helping out RPGamer add in coverage of the Fire Emblem Series, of which he knew quite a lot. He also helped out a lot with some of the staff reviews, especially with some material that he could quickly disseminate thanks to his understanding of Japanese. Personally, it was kind of an inspiration that helped me take up the language in college – and it’s been one of the most fun experiences.

Probably the most rewarding thing about talking with Tony is the fact that he was one of us: an RPG enthusiast, gamer, fun guy, and most importantly – a human. Too often we forget that IRC serves as an alternative medium in which people can talk with each other, and as many people can confess…it’s also a side of a person’s real life as well. All of us have a life behind “that grey box” (to use the expression lightly), and in many ways our experiences with games helped us interact with people that share the same common interests. He mentioned before he passed away that RPGamer gave him the chance to actually share his passion for the games and show his work to everyone, which I am glad the site had a chance to do for him.

To close, I’ll honor his wishes and do what I can to show some of the material he submitted to Points of View. It’s a small contribution, but something I feel must be done.

Suikoden III - Review

Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis - Review

Wild ARMs 3 - Review

Rest in peace. You will be missed.

Paul “Amish” Koehler

 
Heath Hindman

Only being on staff for four months, I didn't think I had become all that attached to any fellow staff members. This morning, I found out how wrong I was...the hard way. I read Tony's farewell email, and proceeded to cry my eyes out. Not the kind of crying one may do at the end of a sad movie, or at a wedding, or when in physical pain--I cried long and hard because I, among so many others, had lost a friend.

I had never even met Tony (DragoonT) in the flesh, and I was surprised how some simple conversations about random topics on IRC could actually form such a significant friendship. If losing him is this hard for me, I can only begin to imagine what his family and closer friends must be going through.

On the bright side (if you can call it that), I suppose I learned a lesson from this. Never again will I take any relationship for granted. What one has today can easily be gone tomorrow. It's sad, but it's true. I guess that's how life goes. I extend my love, hope, and prayers to Tony and all of those who knew him in this world.

-Heath Hindman

RPGamer News

 
Alex Wollenschlaeger

I hardly knew Tony, but what I did know about him was this: He was enthusiastic. Whenever I did run into him on IRC, he was always rushing around in a frenzy, getting things done. We never got a chance to talk too much, but his passing had a definite effect on me. As you would expect, the death of someone you know--even only a little--makes you contemplate your own mortality. It's times like this that you realize how petty a lot of the things that occupy our lives really are. This is not to say that these things are meaningless, but we should all remember to maintain perspective. If there is one lesson we should all learn from this sad day it's that we should enjoy our brief stay on this planet. Life can be crappy, but it can also be awesome, and those are the times worth living for.

Goodbye Tony. I wish that I had a chance to know you better.

-Alex Wollenschlaeger

Japandemonium

 
Jeff “CainEJW” Walker

In the quick time our paths had time to cross, Tony struck me as a kind person, willing to help and someone who cared about others. When I heard about what happened, mere minutes ago, I was shocked.

To Tony, who was a caring person who is no longer with us I say this: Godspeed, I hope you find your place wherever that is. Be it heaven or whatever belief, I hope you find it. Thank you for touching the lives of those you did, even if briefly. You were a true man, a true person, with compassion. Thank you.

To Tony's family, I want to say that I am so sorry. No family should suffer this loss, no parent should have to see their son off, and all that comes to mind at an emotional time is I'm so sorry you have to face this. You have my deepest, most sincere condolences.

To anyone who is facing this darkness in their life, I want to speak to you; suicide survivor to one who is suffering. It's dark, it's cold, and it's empty inside...but, please, don't give up hope that no one can ever find their way in. That no one can help, can heal, and can be there in your rough hours. In this world and in this age where computers adorn every room in houses, there is always means of help and of healing. Seek it, even if it's with strangers. Friends, if you know someone who is depressed, please, tell them how much you care about them. Don't let it be too late.

Goodbye Tony, and thank you for everything.

 
Michael "Kamikaze" Bischoff

Tony,

Putting these kinds of thoughts into words is the work of better men than I, but I shall try my best here. You’ve left your family, friends, and colleagues all too soon. It’s hard as I write this to realize that you were alive only yesterday. If I could have said something, anything, to help ease the pain you must have felt last evening I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. Wherever your consciousness now resides I hope there’s peace and tranquility; no more fear, no more sadness, no more hurt. Everyone in our plane of existence is going to mourn for a while, but we’ll be okay, and we promise never to forget you.

P.S. To your parents, whom I’ve already written to today, I again offer my deepest condolences.

Michael "Kamikaze" Bischoff

 
Daniel “Viper” Wester

From the little I've talked with Tony Green, he was a great guy. The chats we would have we would talk about various things like a Yu Gi Oh card tournament he had gone to, or reviews that he was working on. The most recent chat we had, was about his new Japanese PS2. He was really proud that he could now play imports and maybe give some previews for games. He would always look for any info about the Fire Emblem series. He was the first person who know Fire Emblem would come to the US, and know everything about it. I'll miss him, and give my condolences to his friends and family.

 
Cortney “Alethea” Stone

I didn't know Tony very well, but I still found the news of his death deeply saddening. I have spoken to Tony a few times in the past in the staff IRC channel, and like many people will tell you, he was very kind person. I wish I had more to say about him than just "he was a kind person." It's moments like these that make me look back and wish that I had talked to him more. Having experienced the deep darkness of depression firsthand, perhaps I might have seen something there, and reached out to him.

But now is not the time for regrets. Tony made his decision, and now we are left to gather the brokenpieces. I suppose there are a number of things I could say now -- a number of cliches I could draw from. I know them all, since my father committed suicide when I was 18. I know the gentle phrases passed around at funerals and family visitations, the meaningful things printed on sympathy cards and written on personal notes. Perhaps the best thing I could say is that if anyone -- any of our readers or staff -- is experiencing depression and contemplating drastic measures, please get help. Don't be afraid to seek counseling, medication, or spiritual exploration. You cannot give in to your human weakness. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, we must "live deep and suck outall the marrow of life."

Tony Green
August 18, 1981 – June 26, 2003

He will be missed, and his contributions to RPGamer will not be forgotten.

Cortney Stone
a.k.a. Alethea
RPGamer News & Editorials

 
Zachary 'ASV' Lewis

There are some people that you just click with in life. And although we seldom talked of much beyond gaming, what Tony and I did was done as friends cut from the same aether. From our rantings about why Ogre Battle Saga: Episode One could never work to our curiously debating the anime-inspired CG cutscenes of Xenosaga, never were the moments spent with him dull. He will be missed and though time will invariably trudge onward, it is a good thing that we will remember him as a jovial, smiling face in the myriad of the human crowd.

omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis

~ Zachary 'ASV' Lewis

 
Mikel “FireMyst” Tidwell

When I think of Tony, I think of how much excitement he had for Fire Emblem. In fact, Tony showed excitement for everything he did. As one of our sources of Japanese information, Tony made his mark on RPGamer time and time again. He will never be forgotten.

 
Tony's father

Tony enjoyed all those he helped and met. I think it would help those he knew to know that he is now learning all the hidden codes and enjoying all his favorite games.

If that is possible I know that our family would be happy.


Last Call:

Tony...wherever you are now, if you had said something to any of us, we would have been at your side in a flash. I’m sorry you felt your life wasn’t worth living, and I’m sorry that this is such a pathetic tribute to you, but it seems like anything I could do to honor your memory would fall short. I’d like to thank all the staff who wrote in, and offer my condolences not only to Tony’s family and friends, but also to all the staff that was simply to distraught to get their feelings into words. Tomorrow things will be back to normal, but right now Tony Green, you’re in all are hearts and minds. God Bless.

Andrew DuffClaire Belton

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