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   Ningyo Baka!   

Andrew - February '9- 12:00 Central Standard Time

Whew. Piloting a custom built glider to help Britian win the war against America when you’re woken up by your room mate for screaming, “Die rebels!” tells me I’ve been playing way too much Panzer Dragoon Orta, and that Shanghai Knights had a bigger effect on me then I thought. Stupid Jackie and his awesome stunts.

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What's Andrew watching this week?
Yawara, a sensible judo girl!
What's Andrew playing this week?
Panzer Dragon Orta

Cactuar races. Now that I’d pay to see.

Hola,

I think the thing I most want from an RPG is a Cactuar cactus! I want someone to screw with a cactus' genes so that it grows black holes (eyes and mouth) and has two branches (does a cactus have any branches?) one going up the other down (arms). Put a couple spikes on the top of it and there you go. Damn that would be the best thing. A plant I'd actually take care of. I just hope I don't lose my mind and chop it up trying to gain a rediculous amount of experience. "Stop moving! I finally got my accuracy up and your ass is mine!"

I don't really have a question so much as a complaint about the weather. I was trying to save money up in January so I could buy Xenosaga, Breath of Fire V, Hack and Dark Cloud 2 but nooooooooo I had to get Strept Throat which means I had to goto the doctors who informed me that I had strept throat. No really? I've only had it 12 times in my life are you sure?! Then they gave me a shot (in the arse!) and two prescriptions. Total cost: $200. My fiance says it's a good thing you were saving that money. I say screw Winter. It couldn't happen a month later when I was eligable to get the companies insurance! Damn donkeys! Anyway I'm gonna get Xenosaga and just hope it takes me two weeks to beat it. This is to all you kids still living with your parents. Never grow up! It sucks! The worst decision you'll ever make. You lose your friends and that part time job becomes a full time job and you think sweet more money. Nope! You gotta pay the rent, utilities, car payment, insurance of all kinds, not to mention your own food. But you do get to walk around naked any time you want.

All right that's enough outta me. Keep up the good work.

TellahGrahf

Andrew:
Regardless of how cool a real cactuar would be, the number of fatalities involved from “1000 needles”, and the dreaded , “10,000 needles” attacks would have the field of botany running for cover.

Everyone seems to be getting sick here at NIU. I’ve got a case of something nasty, and so do the majority of my friends, teachers, and talking hydrants. Whoops, time to take my medication.

 
Everyone’s favorite talking cat.

Heya Andrew. Paws here again.

To cheer me up, I received Grandia I last night; I'd originally gotten Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories, but it really wasn't that interesting. I've gotten to the first path/fighting area, and so far so good - I've almost gained a level in fact. I do, however, have a question in all this buildup.

A couple people were telling me that Grandia "hangs" on a PS2, during battle - there's supposed to be some kind of bug in the music that makes the game crash. Now, the people I were talking to had both early-run PS2's (mine is only 6 months old), and probably early-run Grandia copies (mine's used, so I couldn't tell you).

I'm curious if you or any readers have had any problems like this, with Grandia on a PS2?

Oh, and to go with the topic of the week, this house is literally filled with video game goodies. The walls, counterclockwise hold scrolls from FFVII - X (Tifa, Squall, Zidane, Rikku), there's hand drawn picture of Maduin and Yura (Yura was the Esper in FFVI that went to Thamasa, began to talk to the party, and then got zapped by Kefka), a pin of Chocobo from Chocobo's Mysterious Dungeon 2, stuff like that. There's also a slew of Squall stuff (.925 silver, to-scale necklace, figurine, triple triad card, miniature gunblade letter opener, etc), and no, none of it is mine. I'm not a big fan of Squall.

-Paws =^^=
Personal Email: paws@rpgamer.com
"I have more than a tattoo up my sleeve."

Andrew:
What did you need cheering up for? Must have been something big, if you needed two games to cure it. Everyone send Paws letters about how much you love her so she feels better! And then we’ll all go volunteer at the animal shelter!

Well, I’ve got a fairly new PS2, and I never played Grandia on it. However, frequent saving should render the problem fairly harmless anyway.

All that swag sounds pretty freaking awesome. My dorm room has ads for video games taped all over the walls. It’s cheaper then actually decorating, and at the end of the year, I can just rip the lot of them down. Well, not the naked mermaid. She’s coming home with me. *ahem*

 
Baka. Idiot. Fool. Lamer. Etc.

Hi, Andrew!

After long hesitating about writing a letter, other than quickies, here I am.

I'm currently playing Skies of Arcadia for Dreamcast, and it's great. I can't believe that you don't like it, but everyone his opinion, I guess. The moment that made me go o_O was finding out that Osman is actually a female. There is no character I hate in an RPG. I don't really have a best RPG moment, but I do have a worst one. And the same game in which that worst moment was, isalso the game that was a big let-down.

The game is Final Fantasy VI.

Final Fantasy VI is the worst RPG I have ever played. When playing World of Balance, all is well, it's great. But get to World of Ruin, and it starts breaking down. It stays well in the beginning, but when you get your second airship, the game loses all it's story and interest, and you are sent to pick up the rest of the characters and all the treasure. If in the beginning this is okay, it starts to get real annoying after a while. There's nothing to motivate you, no story to navigate or reward you. I played 90% of the World of Ruin while being bored to death. Then, we get to the final dungeon. Okay, no real problems getting through, and the dungeon is well made. Then we get a speech, and the obligatory final battle. The last form of the boss was just hideous in terms of graphics. Then, we get to the worst part of the game...

THE ENDING!

There's nothing, but really nothing, to that ending. All you see are the characters escaping from the final dungeon, and then we see the stupid credits, complete with airship 'spifyness'(sarcasm). Then we see the characters moving, pointing their lands, and then we see them moving around more, and then flat-out, we get the words: THE END. If this is not the worst RPG I know, it definitely has the worst ending of all the games that I have played in my entire life, and that's saying something. I don't understand why so much people go and say "FF6 ownz you", and say that it takes 80 to 100 hours to finish it. I've done it in 70 hours. I don't understand how people can say this is the best SNES RPG, while the other much praised one, Chrono Trigger, is 1000 times better. This game is the worst RPG I have ever played. I can't believe how much time I have wasted on this.

Benoit
PS: The quote in the main page title is from Phantasy Star II, right?

Andrew:
1. You’re an idiot. If you found the World of Ruin boring, you should have just taken the airship to the final dungeon and finished the game. Who put a gun to your back and forced you to collect everyone and everything?

2. You’ve got to be kidding me. Final Fantasy 6's ending, while leaving something to be desired, is no where near the worst ending for a game. Remember FF7's ending? How about Zelda’s? Did you forget the ending to Chrono Cross, for God’s sake?

3. Yes, forbid anyone have an opinion that differs from you, oh master of gaming! UR u1Rt@ l33t!!!11

PS- You’re right. And you would have gotten a tilde if you’re letter wasn’t so poorly thought out. Booooooooo!

 
Silly fan girl! Bishouens are for other guys!

That mention of Terra's unwashed bikini/battle armor seriously freaked me out, sir.

Although I'd also be quite happy with Cuan himself. Mmm. Bishounen.

Andrew:
If the spear gives you that many bonuses, I guess even I’d want it. Even with if it does have a vaguely homophobic name for a “spear”. Not that it matters. Haven’t you heard the store policy, no shoes, no shirt, and if you have a damn spear, no freak’in service!

 
Graphic whore, or company slut? You decide!

Hey hey! Or something... yeah...

Uhm, someone mentioned today that there should be an anime based on Final Fantasy. Well, besides the OVA which was good in it's own 90's right and the movie which everyone loved to hate (besides me!!), it's a wonder how most people have yet to hear of Final Fantasy Unlimited! Geeze, it's your typical 26 episode anime based on anything and everything Final Fantasy. Oooooh... those summons (using both SOIL and MIST systems, which they should integrate into the next incarnation of the game!!) are something to drool over *drools*... and a guarenteed summon in each episode too!! Not to mention the chocobos hail from early manga drawings of them, SO PURTY! So yeah, if you want to import the anime, by all means do it, easily up there with other RPG based animes (Star Ocean EX, Tales of Phantasia, Tales of Eternia, Xenogears, blah blah blah), or you could always *hack*download the fansub and then delete it when it comes to the U.S.*hack*.

Also, am I the only one that thinks future games from Square-Enix will be the most mind blowing we have ever seen?? Think of it, take the drama and cinematic quality of Final Fantasy, along with the awesome symphonic music, throw in the battle system of Star Ocean with the dramatic sounds and music of the same, and the awesome worlds! I don't know, call me crazy but I think that they have a gold mine here.

Hrm... I wouldn't mind that, but I have no time to write more, I must go out and save the world by snowboarding! It reduces pollution and helps to rebuild the ozone layer! Oh wait, no it doesn't! Oh look, the princess! What?! SHE'S IN ANOTHER CASTLE!!?? *dies*

rage+star

Andrew:
1. I did talk about Final Fantasy Unlimited. The lame, almost Digimon-like episodes, which all end in a summon that, instead of being drawn beautifully, are in horrible, blocky 3-D. I didn’t mention the awful plot, where half of the characters having little or no reason for how they act. Did I forget to tell you that the “typical” 26 episodes were suppose to be 52? That’s why the ending seems so tacked on, because it was. Guess Japanese audiences were just as unhappy as I was with how the series was going. Or maybe they hated all those stupid “Ocean Puzzle” episodes.

Other then those crippling flaws, yes, the anime is very pretty, does justice to some of the more traditional Final Fantasy staples like, Cid, Moogles, and Chocobos. It’s not awful, but I definitely wouldn’t call it what most Final Fantasy fans are searching for in FF anime.
2. Square-Enix merger. Dude, you’re not thinking straight. All the things you just mentioned, the drama, the battle system, the great music, you don’t need a merger for that. You just need a development team who cares deeply for their work. So this merger doesn’t mean any thing to game quality, and frankly I don’t know why you would think it would.



Quickies

Forget Chu Chu. I want Garnet's overalls. And Luna's bad-girl outfit. And Aeris' hairband (hairbow?). Oh, yeah, and Rikku's shorts.

Screw Japanese schoolgirl’s panties! We’ve got soiled cos-players outfits! *barf*

I think Indiana time is because Indiana doesn't believe in regular and "advanced time"... You know, like when we change time to enjoy better sunlight... well...

WHEN YOU ARE NOT STUCK IN AN OFFICIE BUILDING WHIL SKIES OF ARCADIA LEGENDS REMAIN UNPLAYED...

Anyway...

What a random, frothing-mad, quickie.

Hey Andrew,
I have a Playstation 2 and have heard that you can change the speed and make the graphics look better on original Playstation games. How do I do this and will they run the same as keeping them at the original state?

Onswah

Turn on your PS2 with no disc inside, go to options, and select, “GIVE YOUR SOUL TO SATA-ER I MEAN SONY!” Then ye shall reap the rewards of slightly nicer graphics!

All I'd want is a Rusty Sword.

Then, if I killed enough things with it, eventually a dwarf with a skull on his head would improve it until it was really powerful and could kill scary things like a Mana Beast or Tom Ridge.

Then the medication would kick in...

Any weapon that needs me to kill things to make it stronger is NOT something I want to have. Someone hasn’t played Suikoden 1, hmmmmmmmm?

I want an Auron plushie. That way, I can make it beat up the other stuffed animals on my shelf and he can writhe in pain whenever the Yuna plushie tries to send all the animals he killed.

That’s...really really weird. Besides, you can already make your dream come true.

Yuna-

Auron- He’s a pricey one!

It’d be nice if you would send pictures of the ensuing battles to RPGamer. Then we could start a bookie business betting on who Auron would kill next. I already got 10 bucks on your Squall action figure going down like Google at a cat-girl convention.

I don't actually live in Indiana, but some parts of Indiana do not follow Daylight Savings Time. So while it's 6:30PM in his world, perhaps 20 miles away it is 5:30PM. Weird. Oh yeah, first time writer! Keep up the great work - Jack

Hooray for time zones and their horrible, horrible side-effects to corn fields!

Andrew,
I'd really like to see another video game based on the Shadowrun pencil-and-paper game. It would have to be a PC game, though, because there's just no way to make a really good open-ended console game. Morrowind tried on the X-Box, but it succeeded on the PC.

Walo
"You can't fit a Cadillac up your nose."

Hell, I’d like to more games like the Shadowrun for SNES. Then again, I also want a Leisure Suit Larry RPG, so companies would do well to ignore my insane rambling.

The Final Grumble:

Even with not getting paid, this is by far the best job I’ve ever had. Just so you all know.

With Valentine’s Day next week, our topic turns to...

The sexiest characters in RPGs. Is your knight in shining armor actually a silver maiden from Suikoden 3? Rydia give you pedophile ugres? Does your boyfriend complain because you’re too busy swooning over Dragon Master Alex? Well for next week, lets celebrate our unhealthy obsessions with imaginary people! Don’t forget to give good reasons why you’ve fallen, and lord help anyone who picks Tifa because of her mammoth assets...to the team.

Andrew "Lightly cooked" Duff

If you want to advance the opinion that you're opinion is better then everyone elses, get ready for a fork in the eye.

Old Issues
  • Luna's pendant.
   Got a sexual disease? Send it to Google!   
New Issues
  • Luna's lack of bra-age.


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