Dear Ramen Lord,

Ok, first of all, a question: Since Thor now has his video game in the works, "The Legend of Thor Gets Some," should we expect one from you as well? Perhaps we should call it "The Legendary Ramen King?" Or maybe "Secret of Ramen?" (Ramen with the powers like those of Mana would be pretty interesting... heh.) What do you think? ^_~

*smooch!* ^0^ *smooch!* -Teresa Gonzalez, AKA Aurora D. Derall, The Centennial Chicken

Ah... er... thanks, I think? I once had a [theoretical] temple of pure ramen somewhere. It got a little humid, though, and... well, you can guess. I'm no king, just a Druish prince.

I copy and pasted this twice to Thor, and now to you, because I am desperate to find some of these answers.. PRINT PLEASE!

What in the hell was Square thinking when they left out 2j,3j,and 5, in the Final Fantasy mix? I heard that they didn't have the money.. but that can't be true.. and.. they called 4j 2e, 6j 3e, and took out all the cussing!

Why is a peice of music in Chrono Trigger partially the same as Final Fantasy's Opera Music? (Goto the time place after you get Robo, listen carefully, and I swear some of the notes are from the Opera Music..)

2 more to go.. I heard somewhere that in the Japanese version of Final Fantasy VII, Sephrioth rapes Arieth... is that true? I gotta know!

hey, dude. I want to let you know i'm pretty much in your boat, and I support you in your battle with the finals of doom. This is finals week at the U of I too, and me without my playstation. My TV died. No anime, no video games, no funky indy films (like Six String Samurai!)... I think I'm gonna die. Japanese final is also at 7:30 AM. Anyway, enough of my whining. could you tell that guy who wrote in looking for chicks the following?

Girls aren't looking for sex. Girls instinctivly avoid guys looking for sex, unless they're stupid (the girls). Girls can get sex anytime we want because guys are so easy, so we're picky; but we don't really want it that bad anyway. If he wants to get girls, especially RPGirls (for I assume he wants someone who's willing to play SoM with him at 3 AM and thinks he's the man when he can figure out puzzles in Sam and Max Hit the Road), we are usually happy to make friends with guys. We're willing to watch anime and play video games with someone fun who's not always acting like he wants some. Most girls won't put out unless a) they have a relationship going and trust the guy a LOT or b) they're easy. And if it's b) they're usually not too smart and they've been with a lot of other guys. 'course maybe that doesn't matter to him? anyway, to meet RPGirls (or RPGuys, for the chicks out there), go to cons and anime shows and clubs and wear themed T-shirts & pins in public so people know of your interests and whatnot. It's not THAT hard. Or you can go hang out in your local software etc. :) anyway, there really are a lot of RPGirls out there; I guess the reason this guy can't find them is they avoid him? As for you, shy guy; just be friendly...

And a question--did you post his letter so you'd get irritated posts from RPGirls who were offended? I'm sure he's an okay guy (maybe) but he sounded jerky in his letter. Or is that what guys talk about when they're alone? Anyway, since I know you won't post this letter, or at least not all of it, I'm also going to reccommend anime to you for no reason other than I'm mad at my TV since I just got about 37 fansubs this week and now I can't watch any of them... you should watch (if you've not already) Vision of Escaflowne, Rurouni Kenshin, Gundam Wing, Flame of Recca, Weiss Kreuz, and Mahou Tsukai Tai (amongst many others). Oh, and the End of Evangelion movie (subtitled) if you like Evangelion, so you can find out what the heck happened since they conveniently decided that the American audience wouldn't want to know. Anyway. I'm sorry Thor wants you dead; he seems pretty wacky. Also, you should listen to more good So Cal punk. And get the Secret of Monkey Island and Sam and Max Hit the Road for your computer, you'll never ever be sorry (except when you fail class cuz you just HAD to stay home and beat them). Oh and for that dubbing debate, Sam and Max had the BEST dubbing in the universe, and the whole game was dubbed; there was no text dialogue unless you turned on the feature. It proves that there CAN be good english dubbing. So do some american cartoons (voice-wise, I know that a big thing is mouth movements, but some voices are so bad, like Ayeka from Tenchi...). Therefore, it's okay to be picky about dubbing. I gotta get a summer job too. gah, how unfortunate. oh, and lastly, could you tell your ad people that there are a lot of people who don't yet have pentiums and who HATE apple image caster cuz it makes their computers run slower than old ladies with walkers (who have died) and can even make the screen freeze up every once in a while for a minute or two (especially when composing webpages and downloading MP3s and word processing at the same time)? This is incredibly annoying. Grrrr. Good luck with your finals, bro.

--kris wolfe

Surprise, I posted it all. Evil way of meeting the quota.

I had no ulterior motives for posting that guy's letter yesterday, though most of what you bring up I already figured to be true. For those who didn't, well, Kris here made a nice speech about RPGuy/girl etiquette.

I would like to ask you one question, and one question only. How the hell do you find out those Darwin awards? Do they send it to you, or do you scout IRC looking for these things? I've always wondered those things, and what you do find is always hilarious, so keep up the good work.

While I'm here, I've got a few more things to say. (By the way, Thor published a letter about cameos AFTER I sent mine.) Why is Square throwing all these cameos into their new games nowadays? Sure, a couple of cameos are nice like in FFT. Only Cloud and Aeri(s/th)(What the heck is that all about, anyways? But that's for another day) appear in the game, and you can play as Cloud with all his limit breaks, which is a nice little point. But the main culprit that I'm talking about is Xenogears. One night, a person on mIRC and I found EIGHT different cameos in Xenogears. Grrrr... There are probably more hidden in the shadows of game, waiting...patiently biding their time...until they can...TAKEOVERTHEGAMEFORTHEMSELVES! HAHAHAHAHAH! Er...sorry. I know that was lame. I deserve to be beaten with a board that has a rusty nail put through it.

What's with all these guys pining for girls who are insanely in love with RPGs? I play role playing games but I wouldn't want to be involved in a relationship with someone who's absessed with role playing games.

Here's a true story: For a while, I liked this girl. All I really knew about was that she was into RPGs and anime. So, I got to know her and she seemed fairly nice. Then... Oh GOD. She was the most annoying patronizing and boring person I've ever met. I tried to break off any connection we had but she told everybody we were going out. She couldn't except reality.

Anyway, that's not to say that all RPGirls would be like that, but usually, if a girl has to resort to constant role playing game playing she obviously has some sort of social defect(s). This also goes for RPGuys too.

Transformers, hands down. I was raised on them since I learned to walk, and I have all 98 american episodes, 34/35 japanese headmasters episodes, and all the G1/G2 comics. Plus I'm going to Botcon this year, probably.

After that, well there was Voltron(not really american, I know, but definitely among the best of the 80s), then He-Man(had a bunch of toys also). My dad, being a combat wounded war veteran, never let me watch GI-Joe.

Why is it every single game seems to be delayed at least ten times before it is released? It is ridiculous that companies can't set release dates that they know they will be able to adhere to. It is also ridiculous how games have turned into hype and graphics instead of the archaic gameplay, plot, and overall quality. Conclusion: Square thinks we are a bunch of idiots. They refuse to give us FF4-Not ridiculously easy type in FFAnthology for absolutely no reason, they gave us FFUSA instead of the best RPG ever, FF5, and all of their commercials do nothing more then say something trite like "R U READY" and show off the graphics.

Yes, the sad truth about our glorious United States is that nine out of ten gamers fail out on Quake, not Final Fantasy. Stand proud, all ye who share my habits.