You will pass. You will succeed, and danger will dance around you and
smack only the rest. You will find a steady job at your beck and calling. People love you, game companies await your passing grace and brilliance and will jump at the chance to hire you; all you need to is e-mail your resume like there's no tomorrow. You aren't doing as bad as you think - you're fifth down from the top in terms of class average, not second up from the bottom. The woman you're drawn to but know absolutely nothing about must be thinking the same about you, and you're bound by destiny to be introduced by a friend. Even though only five days remain in the semester, and it's finals week.
You don't need a summer job, and your parents are perfectly understanding that you haven't found one for the third summer in a row.
Lunar and Shadow Madness are coming very soon. Really.
My nose is getting very, very long now. So I'd better stop and answer your questions.
|search engine failure #41092 |
My husband is cheating with my sister's best friend, and I'm being stalked by
My former boss. But he's dead, see, they buried him on his side and he's never been a side sleeper so he's uncomfortable, and now he's come back for my blanket and pillow. Can you help me?
Er, I'm sorry but this is a game help column, and I don't get paid $3.65 for every minute it takes me to answer you. Go bug Drew, he's more your department now.
|Everquest for that better machine...|
I was wondering if you have played Everquest. If you havn't let me warn you
and all fellow readers that you need a good computer. I always thought
minimum requirements meant you could play the game normally. In Everquest I
move about half the speed of every one else and when the music comes on I
move about 1 frame a minute. If you wanna play this cool online RPG make
sure you got a lotta RAM and better than 166mhz or you'll be pissed off like
By the way the column rocks!
The disgrunteled gamer
(cant spell that......)
Everquest looks cool, and I'd love to have the time, money and facilities to
Play it. Unfortunately, there's an inconveniently large black hole approaching my GPA right now, and I have to do my best to ward it off.
|Scanning for mistakes|
Yeah, I know this is Thor's error, but he ain't here, so I'll gripe about
it to you:
"The only RPG which used Scan in recent memory is Parasite Eve."
Uh, does the Sense materia in FF7 ring a bell? It does pretty much the
same thing as Scan; they just renamed it.
You'll have to forgive Thor. He's blond, he doesn't go to school and he's got a nordic god complex(fortunately, I've survived thus far with a mere Peter Pan complex), so we have to be understanding for his mistakes.
Actually, he may just not have been considering FF7 to be "recent memory", since it's approaching 2 years old(in the states).
I thought esq. was like, the thing like a sr. or jr. for women. Like if Amy
Lynn Holbrook's mother was named Amy Lynn Holbrook too.
Esquire is a genderless title. Doesn't anybody remember Mr. J.B. King, Esquire, from Shining Time Station? :) I never thought I would benefit so invaluably from watching that show, yet even now it blesses me with the answer little questions
|the circular quest for that significant other |
So anyway, Mike... Tell me... what's with the RPGirls? Why aren't I finding
any, and are they easy or kind of uptight about the whole sex thing? Hey,
however you can help. Maybe post a "Bishounen Zach Needs a Woman" match-up
column? I mean... that'd make you rock even more...!
All the RPGirls I know are a) online, b) taken or [most often] both. It's a bleak situation and one that every fiber of me deserves, but I won't go into that. If you need some advice, start with a cool nickname. Be chivalrous, be helpful when needed. Treat them with infinitely more respect than yourself, but retain enough dignity so as not to become a permanent puddle of water. Play Secret of Mana together at night on the couch next to each other, fall asleep that way. Oh and um, don't expect or ask about sex. Ever. Place it at the bottom of the bottom of your mind.
Such is from my vast repository of knowledge and experience with the opposite sex (um, okay. One person.). Of course, if you're trapped in perpetual Les Miserables syndrome by an unbreakable wall of shyness like me, the above actions might prove difficult. Gah! Ask Thor on Monday at around 6am =P
|Lunar search |
On mostly all of RPG websites out there, the Lunar: SSSC demo is a hot
How would I be able to get my hands on one of these, aside from ordering
from WorkingDesigns? Their price is $70, and I've been able to find it
at Electronics Boutique and Babbages, but, to my knowledge, they don't
the demo. I'm also not too keen on ordering stuff online (paranoid or
you make the call!).
P.S. the acupuncture is helping (see April 24th column)
Some stores give you the demo if you reserve it and put $10 down, at least
From what I've heard(roommates here are usually a reliable enough source of info). Glad to know the acupuncture helps, but don't wait for Lunar(or Shadow Madness, for that matter Thor), spend money on more immediate games. Crono Trigger 2, Saga Frontier 3...Final Fantasy Gaiden, perhaps?
Hello Mr. Michael.
In response to the letter regarding the 'scan' spell, Final Fantasy 8 has
the ever disippating, as you say, "Gray" spell. Well, at least the import
does. I'm not sure if it's called "Scan", or if it will be when it comes
to our shores(IF that spell stays in the game when we get it), but it does
everything you'd want a scan spell to be. In fact, I personally believe
it's been improved in FF8. When you 'scan' an enemy, the stats that it
displays don't go by in brief flashes like other games. The screen
changes, showing HP, level, etc., and it doesn't go away until you press a
button. It's also really cool looking, but that's beside the point. :-)
Hope this helps(that is, if you even post it).
Cool. Glad I don't need another alarm clock to tell me when the spell is up. Or is the super scan-zero materia reserved for FF9?
|the nameless one|
Thor "God of Blunder" Antrim is considered a good man by most. And that
he is, but he has taken a most sacred vow. He has vowed never to mention
the word "crabbit." After politely asking, Thor refused when I asked him
to say the word. I also asked our old friend, Drew Cosner. Drew was
much more kind on the matter and said the word without fear.
Now I ask you. Will you please mention the word "crabbit"?
-James "ChuckMan" Thorne
sure. Someday :)
Hiya Mikey...hey were you on life cereal???
Uhhh... I think Thor rigged so the subject automatically says DIE.
Anywhoo... heres a multiple question letter^_^
Why don't you have an anime picture we want to edit you. We're
bored,easily amused, stoned, or all of the above.:)
Are you going to see Episode 1?
What kind of RPG do you prefer action, strategy, or traditonal random
Do you watch WWF?
Do you watch anime?Whats your favorite?
Who is the monkey now?????????????????
I was? Plagiarism! Yeah, Thor wants to kill me. Especially this week it seems, but he won't say why. Do me a favor and ask him on Monday.
1) I'm already on line for episode one, typing this in my ramen powered laptop. Tomato works best.
2) I dunno, I like em all. Though most of my RPGs happen to be traditional, I consider Suikoden among my favorites.
3) Yechh, I haven't watched WWF in about fifteen years. Kindergarten. Don't ruin my rosy colored memories.
4) I love anime, but only the good stuff. Dragon Warrior(the series), Lodoss War, Heroic Legend of Arislan, Robotech and Crying Freeman are among my favorites. Angel Cop, X(the anime movie), and Burn-up W are among those I consider complete trash. Gratuitous blood, gore and violence better have a healthy chunk of deep story backing it up for me to watch.
Monkey?? Ah, you mean intern. Or intern's fetish. Not me, sir.
|Not a monkey |
(wanna trade work ethics?)
|Try the Archives|
|Legend of Legaia / Ehrgeiz|
It's all in the mind
I got Ehrgeiz. No studying tonight. Charon, take me to the frozen level. Fire and Brimstone don't suit me. Neither will summer, it seems.
Sleep is good. Hybernation is better.
RPG Darwin Award:
Ben Lansing spent four hours trying to put a fire out in Brave Fencer Musashi.
Then some deeper awareness suggested he hold down the button.
Michael "C's get degrees" Greenhut